This is why you need to get your Inner Game strong to attract women

"I have spent a lot of money on seduction e-books, DVD's and CD's and even one [...] bootcamp in San Francisco in hopes of finding some thing that will strengthen my confidence and motivation enough to get out there have fun and experience some success. They have all contributed to my development in this area but I still something was missing.

I finally discovered that although I could feign self-confidence to a certain extent, I lacked a solid, healthy self-image to support it. I found what I needed in two sources - one being a book on Psycho-Cybernetics and the other being "Secrets of the Alpha Man".

The other stuff I have read.... is highly informative and very useful. However, I struggled to implement their ideas without a good, strong self-image. Although the other writers deal with inner game and self-confidence they do not do so with the depth and clarity and thoroughness that you do in your Alpha Man materials. "

Thanks

A.M.
______________________


CARLOS:

Yes! You understand that it's important - no, ESSENTIAL to have a good self confidence or all the material in the world will just dissolve into a puddle of 'crash & burns' when you talk to women and approach women.

To get women interested in you, you must have the ALPHA MAN frame...

Learn more about it here - The Secrets

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

Don't Pull Any Punches

I was pissed off the other day when I wrote this. But I thought it had just enough validity to pass it along to you guys.

Why?

Because it illustrates that the beliefs that I use to back my programs on dating and attraction should be the beliefs that you guys use to back yourselves up.

Remember, don't write checks your attitude can't cash.

Imagine me defending my honor and myself to a woman, and that this guy who wrote in is some chick testing me.

This is how it would go down:
______________________

Carlos,

Not a very sincere answer about "Style", the Game works, actually it is the best and really I fully dissagree with some of your technics , you're advices are as a withdrawel to women a sort of " Robert Greene give them space to breath" so they come to you. That doesn't work man. It works only when you really got what you wanted , I tried that last night , really.

Give us an answer
Man of Prize

______________________

CARLOS:

First of all, I don't know what you're talking about. The techniques in Neil Strauss' book The Game do work. I never said they didn't.

As for techniques, strategic withdrawal from a woman DOES work, but only when she's already interested in you. If you didn't know that by now, pay attention to my newsletters and advice a bit more clearly.

I don't have to "give you an answer." I already give answers that work for the guys that use them correctly. Your inability to implement them does not warrant a rebuttal from here, my friend.

"I tried that last night" is not an explanation or even marginally acceptable.

If you tried it, and it didn't work, you didn't do it right.

That's what you need to know.

If you fully "disagree" with my "techniques," what the hell are you doing reading the newsletter? Move on to some other lame-ass material that you can pick out of a forum somewhere that has

A) no thought behind it,

B) no honor in it, and

C) no authenticity in it.

You're picking things out of newsletters without reading the REAL deal.

It's all in my book here...

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

Get the BIG picture of dating and attraction with women

Carlos,

I made a decision today. First off I have been reading your stuff for a while now along with some other gurus stuff. I have been in this self-improvement journey for a while now, and I have been attending therapy and value it a lot because of the improvements its made for me.

I decided to become exclusive to you and I have decided that I will only be reading your material and purchasing your products because it is sooo related to a lot of the principles I learn in therapy (which is based on science). I have read a lot of David D (covers mostly the dating scene) and Mystery (I find it toooo behavior focused, too much detail) and others, but you draw the BIG PICTURE MAN.

Most of the other stuff I read are sooo philosophical but your stuff really seems to be based on a lot of the science out there. I felt like I was becoming so confused with so many different perspectives out there but I really believe that your perspective is the most healthy one out there. So, I have decided to stick to your stuff exclusively. Just wanted to let you know man, I appreciate it.
 
______________________

CARLOS:

Uh-oh. You want to go exclusive with me?

Does this mean we can't see anyone else?

I'm a little commitment phobic... I'm starting to freak out here.

Uh, kidding.

Just keep your mind open, but focus on the material that makes the most sense to you. I encourage guys to read everything, but to remember that if they're not getting the BIG picture, they're not going to be successful over the long term. Everything out there has something you can learn from it.

What I give you guys is the path to becoming a COMPLETE and fully empowered ALPHA MAN. It's not all about chasing the women, and most guys realize this after a time. In fact, if you make women the focus of your life, you'll lose every woman you "pickup." Women know when a man is incomplete and just looking to satisfy his insecurities or low self-esteem.

Keep up the good work! Never quit...

The Secrets of the Alpha Man is where you can go to learn the big BIG picture...

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

How to handle a flake BEFORE it happens...

For the first time in a newsletter a dating coach has described flaking to a great extent ...thanks I appreciate your help!...one very quick question though...this has happened to me ...A woman I talked to for about a week or so told me this line: I will call you on fri to finalize plans...I knew she was going to flake right then and there...

I DO NOT and STILL do not have a response to this phrase...I know she will never call...should I tell her anything?? I was told by my friend that if she says it it means: I have somebody else to go with that fri but if THAT GUY tells me no or cancels I will call YOU THEN...do you think that its true?? How can I be FUN (in reading your newsletter & not care) if I know she's got another guy and I want to be NUMBER ONE!

-P from jerzey
___
CARLOS:

Yes, that's right, it's the newsletter and Dating Coach that gives you the most useful information...

And now you want a little more...

You're already on the right path if you can RECOGNIZE a flake that's about to happen. Where most guys go wrong here is when they IGNORE what they know is about to happen and let it happen anyway. Then they spend a day or two kicking themselves in the ass.

The bottom line here is that if a person knows something is going to happen and they still let it happen, you've got no one to blame but yourself. If you let it happen AGAIN, then you're guilty of the worst crime against your attitude imaginable: DISRESPECT. When you go down this path, you can only end up ruining your own confidence.

What you need to do is let her know that you do not accept this kind of treatment.

"Sorry, dear. I'm not the kind of guy who wants to be your second chance plans. If you have anything else going on, cancel it. I'm more fun."

If she doesn't make a commitment to see you, tell her that perhaps you should reschedule then for another time.

If she doesn't bite, you need to remind her about how much fun you are/were. You were fun weren't you? If not, then I guess I don't blame her for flaking.

If you want to BE the fun guy, I suggest you learn how to do that by being the Alpha man.

Learn the secrets of attracting women here...

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

Does playing hard to get with women build attraction?

Carlos,

A real quick question for you. A couple of weeks ago I told my girlfriend that sometimes I need space and I have worked very hard on being "unavailable".

I sometimes take a couple of days before calling and she called me on it once saying that she doesn't play that game. She said that she wants a man to want her and if he stops calling she does too. I am still playing "unavailable" thinking that her impartation was a ruse.

But in fact I have noticed that when I don't call she doesn't either, however, she responds very quickly when I call her or invite her along for an adventure. She told  me last weekend that she is in love and that I keep her on her toes. I don't want to break this challenge but I would like for her to start calling me again so that I am not doing all of the work.

Do the unavailable laws change from girl to girl?I know that it is a mistake for me to ask her why she hasn't called me or initiated some get-togethers and I haven't established contact in a couple of days but this tactic doesn't seem to be working. I am torn between wanting to led her out of this game or wanting to stop contact to wait and see if she will initiate the next move. This is frustrating - any advice would be great Carlos.

S
______________________
CARLOS:

My first question for you is HOW you are "working very hard on being unavailable."

If you are TRYING to show an unavailable "Front" to her, you're coming at this from the wrong direction.

You must BE unavailable.

If you're trying to LOOK unavailable, you're creating a lie that your attitude won't believe in.

Read that again.

If you're trying to LOOK unavailable, you're creating a lie that your attitude won't believe in.

I suspect that this is what you're doing, because you are still ATTACHED to getting a particular result.

You view the "tactic" as a means to an end. And you're only focused on the "end."

This is something she can read on you, and that's why she's doing this. She's testing you.

What I'll caution you about is that she's someone I call an "Attention Hound."

She's only into you when you're into her. If you go too far, she disappears. If you do too little, she disappears.

She's a puzzle to you because it feels like nothing you do works on her. And the more you try, the less she responds.

You feel me, dog?

So why do women act this way?

They're the type of women who aren't used to being on the other side like this. You're doing what she only wished her other boyfriends had done. If they did, she'd still be with them.

But she still wants control. Hey, it's something she's gotten used to over these years, and she's not going to give it up easily. She's going to fight tooth and nail to keep you on the edge, and keep testing your resolve.

She'll test you even more because...

Everything you're doing is orchestrated and architected, which feels fake to her and to you. Your self-confidence is never boosted with a lie, no matter how cleverly you try to tell it.

"But, Carlos!" I hear you crying... "Don't you say that we should use these strategies to get women more attracted?"

Yes.

and No.

You see, I want you to use these strategies to short-cut your way to a more powerful sense of your own Alpha status. You're doing this to see strategies work, and use that feeling of success to boost your sense of control over your own life and ability to get what you want.

When you start to see that BEING this stronger, more self-focused version of yourself is ultimately more attractive, you'll do better. And then you'll need to go beyond mere techniques. You need to go into the realm of Alpha immersion. (More on this in a second)

And you also realize something else in the end:

That it's not about the women.

It's about YOU.

Your confidence. Your masculine power.

When you are living your life to the fullest, women will want to come along for the ride.

And the way to find this power in your life, to live your own Alpha Man existence, with no need for tactics or tricks to get women attracted to you is to be R.E.A.L.

I am the only one out there in a sea of "gurus" who will show you how to attract women naturally. With the power of your own personality, instead of trying to be someone else or be "fake."

When you learn the SECRETS of the Alpha Man, you'll know how this works...

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

Don't idolize women! Just go talk to her as if she's a human being.

Hey Carlos,

My name is Steve and I'm a subscriber to your E-mails. They have provided a lot of help, thanks.

I have a problem, a few weeks ago me and a mate went to his local shopping  centre one night and we walked past this amazing young female, she is on of those angels that come in through your window in your dreams. I made the mistake of telling my mate that i thought she was incredible. it turns out he goes to school with this girl. He is in some of the same classes as her and has since told her that I have this huge crush on her, which isnt true I just thought she was beautiful.

But this is where my problem comes in, Id like to introduce myself to her but I now fear that my mate has ruined my chances of getting her number and hopefully a date with this girl.

What should I do...?

Please Help
Steve
______________________

CARLOS:

First of all, take the misty glasses off and stop idolizing women based on their looks.

You say you don't have a crush on her, but I suspect that's not entirely true. You wouldn't be writing me if she was just a passing fancy.

She's not a magical, mystical entity. She's not "incredible." She's not even "amazing" until she demonstrates some positive qualities beyond her appearance.

Get me?

Second of all, get rid of the begging tone and MAN UP!

I hear a lot of guys that come crying to me with an urgent tone and say things like "Please please help me!" or "URGENT HELP NEEDED" which just shows me that they're putting WAY too much emphasis on the woman.

Trust me, you were fine without her for all these years, you'll do fine for a while longer.

In fact, in many cases you'll do even better WITHOUT her.

Not every woman is a match. It's time to start being a little more choosy. Stop letting every woman you glimpse into your heart like some sacred angel. She has yet to prove herself to you!

Did you ever think about it that way? That she still has something to demonstrate to you?

Such as:

- Compatibility
- Healthy positive attitude
- Willingness to watch Bruce Willis action movies until dawn..
- Etc.

So to answer your question, "What should I do?"

It's pretty easy, chap.

GO TALK TO HER!

Why are you making this such an arcane, mysterious process? Just go talk to her!

You're running around with some imagined fear that she now thinks of you as a long-distance admirer. You're imagining scenarios that have no basis in reality.

Well, if you're not all mushy inside, you should have no problem walking up and showing her your Alpha Man strength and impressing her with your confidence.

But, like many guys, you're only getting part of the picture. If you're reading my emails and newsletters, you're getting a little of the picture, but you need the basics and the REAL picture of the whole Dating Dynamic.

Don't "cheap" yourself out of learning the principles that all men who are good with women use.

You still need to get the Dating Black Book. This is your handbook for better success with women. It's also your launching point to get to the Alpha Man inside you.

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

Do not change your identity to get a woman! Change it for YOU.

Sorry Carlos but I violently disagree. I support David DeAngelo's opinion in this.

Another thing that pisses me off lately is something I see more and more.

We as men should ACCEPT women for what they are, flakiness, emotional outbursts etc. etc.

We shouldn't try to CHANGE them. In stead, WE should change 1000% because women don't see us otherwise. It seems to me that women have all the rights to be themselves and that we should dive in the sand, and go through a lot of pain to change ourselves ONLY so that she finally sees us and we are worthy.

I've had it with that. I am 37, happy with the things I have, never had a relationship though. I understand that I must try to become a better person for myself and for a women. And I admit that I do have a couple of things that I must work on. But, I refuse, and let me repeat that, I REFUSE to change myself SOOOO freaking much, ONLY that a woman will notice me where she didn't notice me before. I hope I make myself clear. I should be accepted for who I am now, with my good and bad things.

And to answer your question. No, I am not willing to sacrifice my rule for not wanting children. Should she sacrifice her rule for wanting children?

We're not talking about throwing away a sandwich because you don't like it here. I think that both parents should support the wish for having children for the fully 100%.

And if that means I never get a relationship, then so be it. Like you I am very spiritual and I think it's my karma then, for not having a relationship.

Cheers mate,

Patrick
______________________

CARLOS:

Whoah! You're reading way too much into this.

For those of you who may not be aware, this is in response to my article regarding women that flake.

It's not about "changing" yourself. If you've read my e-books or programs, you know that I never tell a guy to change for a woman.

No.

Bad.

Wrong, wrong wrong.

As a matter of fact, David D. and I both agree on this as well, so I know there's a misunderstanding here.

If you don't want children, then no, you don't have to change your opinion to get a woman.

However, I question what you're currently holding on to as your "identity."

What are "YOU"?

You are the sum of your beliefs and attitudes...

... which changes every day.

Are you the same person you were when you were 9 years old?

Not really. All the cells in your body have changed, and your opinions and attitudes probably have, too. (I seriously hope so, anyway.)

But it's still YOU isn't it?

Don't become attached (one of the spiritual poisons, by the way) too much to your ego or your opinion as your IDENTITY. It's not necessarily the same.

Too many guys hide behind a false veil of self-righteous "I'm gonna be ME, whether they like me or not" and don't realize that they aren't sacrificing their identity to grow and get more success through better social skills.

They're hiding behind a fear of change.

Hey, if you're proud of who you are, that's great. Don't lose that.

Allow me to suggest that if you have never had a relationship, and you don't want one, then that's fine, too. You're a smashing success.

But if you you DO want a relationship (and I know you do, whether you would admit it or not), you should consider learning more skills to make that happen.

This is what I teach in the Alpha Immersion program. This is 12 hours that will change your life.

If you let it.

But if you'd rather argue for your self-imposed limitations, well that's fine, too.

Remember what I always say: We're all self-made - But only the successful admit it.

Let me remind you of one more thing: Which is easier, to change the world...

... or yourself?

Bottom line. RESULTS ARE ALL THAT MATTERS.

If you're not getting what you want from life, you need to make some changes.
Don't wind up 90 years old and alone just because your pride got in the way.

Find your Inner Alpha Man now...

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

Do you fit the bill as a man that women want?

I saw this checklist that someone put together as a list of things to look for in a guy. They're actually pretty good. I think the author has been reading my material.  ;-)

Have a look, and see how many of these match you.

And I find it interesting what they list as the first one...

______________________
Is He Boyfriend Material? A Checklist of Signs:

__ Passion:
Does he have goals and dreams for his future? Is he
committed to pursuing them?

__ Good Health & Habits:
Does he take good care of himself (eat well, go to the
gym, etc.)? Does he have any habits that are deal-
breakers (Drug or alcohol abuse, smoking)?

__ Balanced Emotional State:
Does he seem stable? (Beware of overly jaded types,
those with excessive 'emotional baggage,' or men with
rage issues or out-of-control mood swings.)

__ Treats You Well:
Does he treat you with respect and consideration? How
do you feel when you're around him - happy, relaxed,
safe? If he makes you feel uneasy, insecure, controlled,
or threatened, he is definitely not boyfriend material.

__ Treats Others Well:
Is he friendly with his doorman? Is he kind to
waitresses and generous with tips? If he's pleasant
with other people it's a good sign that he's not just
putting on an act for you.

__ Healthy Relationship Track Record:
What is his dating history like? Is he a serial
monogamist or the king of one-night stands? If he
hasn't dated much (or at all), that could also be a red
flag. If you know other women he's dated in the past,
do they have good things to say about him?

__ Good Relationship With His Family:
Is he close with his family? Does he treat his parents
with respect? Is he friendly with his siblings? These
are all good signs of a quality man. However.... Beware
of the Mama's Boy! A man who hasn't "cut the cord" with
his mother is nothing but trouble - either he'll expect
you to wait on him and make his bed OR you'll spend your
life trying to live up to the perfect image of Mommy.
Either way, it's not good - so get out now and save
yourself for a man who will make you the #1 woman in
his life!

__ Maturity Level:
Does he follow through on his responsibilities? If he
blows off a commitment to stay home and play Xbox, he
may not be ready to meet the obligations of an adult
relationship.

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

Another guy who thinks from scarcity... that's why he won't get women....

CARLOS
IT S A QUESTION OF CONFIDENCE TO GET THE CONFIDENCE TO GO A
APPROACH THIS CHICK IN THE BOOKSTORE  what s " the" factor the decisive element THE INGREDIENT that s responsible for your success what spurs you to go a talk to her?

IF YOU ANSWER SATISFACLY I LL BUY YOUR COURSE

-S

______________________
CARLOS:

Sorry, my friend. I don't respond well to hostage threats. :)

The decisive factor is your own belief in your value to approach a woman.

And that's not something I can illustrate for you in just an email. (And most guys think it's too simplistic an answer to ever believe it, but inevitably that's the deciding factor.)

I get this from time to time. Basically what he's saying is that he's scared, and he's thinking from scarcity. Everything in life is a "prove it!" situation, where his own doubts and skepticism ruin his ability to learn, because everything has to be guaranteed" or he won't take the chance.

If there's one thing I can tell you guys, it's this:

My life CHANGED COMPLETELY when I started risking my imagined security for the chance of possible improvement in my attitude and in my quality of life.

I stopped being so concerned about preserving what I had today (scarcity thinking) and started to realize that the more I tried to keep what I had, it was like clutching sand in my fist. The harder you clenched, the more slips out.

If you DON'T get my course, you'll keep getting these results and keep getting what you've been getting.

I think the value to you is more than you realize.

Good luck with your decision...

When you're ready to learn how to change your life, go here:
APPROACH WOMEN NOW!

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

Wanting is what dooms you...

QUESTION:

Carlos there are times when you feel that now I have found the woman I have been searching for and you want to waste no time and try to make her yours in no time meaning you will tell her you love her before you even know.

Your feelings for these woman are taking over you, so the next thing you do is tell her that you love her just like that, and she'll tell you that she just want to be friends with you and you don't want that.

So Carlos my friend is in the kind of situation, he would like to know what to do and where he did wrong? I was in his shoes and I told her can't be her friend and lived her alone from there.

______________________
CARLOS ANSWERS:

DELUSION 1) Telling her you "love her" before you "even know" is really an indicator of one thing: INSECURITY. You're trying to "lock in" the relationship so you can breathe easier. But you're killing the sexual tension necessary to make a relationship work. That's why she wants to be "just friends."

Where in the world would anyone get the idea that you can make a woman "yours"?

Guys run around with this fantasy because they're afraid of loss (i.e., scarcity mentality) and they want to make life nice and secure for themselves because they believe that a woman will only stay with him if he can obligate her to him - or somehow OWN her.

Get this good: No one in this world will ever be YOURS. You only a woman on LEASE. She's temporary, for as long as you can stay Alpha with her.


DELUSION 2) Your feelings for her aren't taking you over. Your lack of self-control is letting you act from unhealthy parts of your own thinking. There's only one person in the world that really controls you, and that's YOU. If you can't do that, I strongly suggest a few therapy sessions.

There's only one person at the steering wheel of your life. You do everything in your life by CHOICE my friend.

DELUSION 3) There is no "THE" woman for you. There's only this one and the NEXT one. If either of them are not what you are looking for, there's another one around the corner. (And the same is true of you for her, by the way.)

SOLUTION: Start taking control of your emotions. As a man, you cannot let yourself be "carried away" by your emotions like that. That's a sign of weakness that we only grant to crazy poets and artists. Alpha Men can't get away with this. It's wussy and wimpy.

Huh? What's that?

You want me to tell you HOW to stay in control?

Easy. Just DO IT!

There is no technique for this.

There is no shortcut for this.

There is only DOING it or NOT doing it.

Man up!

I'm not trying to be cruel here, but I see this in many of the kids I teach in the Martial Arts. The one thing the boys need more than anything is to grow a pair and stop being coddled by their parents. Most of the parents even understand this, which is why they bring their kids to me in the first place -  to instill some self-control and self-discipline.

Guess what? I'm not standing over your shoulder to bitch-slap you or man-hug you, or wet nurse your inner child. I'm here creating programs like the Secrets of the Alpha Man to show you how to do that work.

Now get to it!

The Alpha Man steers his life and his own actions. Wussies are the first to blame the "can't control" demon.

And when YOU take the first step that's where REAL change in your life will start.

Take your first step here...

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

Big Teddy Bears - How to make women like you when you're a big dude

In Seduction Method you say that larger men can be successful with women using a "teddy bear" image.

Would you please tell us more about how we should dress and act in order to produce this "jovial relaxed" image that will not overpower women by our larger size? I am 5'10" 175 pounds.
______________________
CARLOS:

Yes, I spoke about this in the e-book because it was often a concern for guys that they may appear a bit too "rough" and "burly."

Just remember, a woman's first concern is whether or not you are safe. That's her biggest worry.

Now, 5'10", 175 lbs. is not huge, by any means. Hell, man, I'm 5'10"+ and about 160 when I'm at my best weight. So an extra 15 on top of that isn't too big.

But it all depends on how you carry it.

Are you fit? Or are you flabby?

If you're not carrying the weight well, women aren't your problem. Your health will be. (Remember, guys, I don't just preach this stuff to get you laid; I want you stronger and happier and more successful MEN first.)

Go to a gym AT LEAST 2-3 times a week, and get fit. Any weight is tolerable if it is FIT.

Now, you have to realize that your size will either make a woman feel safe with you or threatened with you.

She wants to feel protected.

Jovial doesn't necessarily apply here, but I'm not suggesting a Santa Claus outfit, either. Just get clothes that fit well and aren't TOO trendy. It's not the fashion that will make or break you. It's HOW you carry yourself inside the clothes.

Relax. Joke a lot with her. Act like her protective big brother.

In fact, you can joke with her about this:

"You're just like a kid sister. I'd have to stick up for you when other kids are picking on you. Probably have all your friends with a crush on me. It would be fun. But you can't dress me up and make me play dolls with you."

And for gosh sakes, if you're muscular, don't flaunt it like you're some kind of Arnold/Terminator tough guy. Understate your muscles and even hide them.

Women can tell.

Oh yes. They can tell.

Get the rest of the Alpha Attitude here...

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

This just in - the oddest match of a man and woman on the planet

You have to see this for yourself, but I want you to remember that ANYONE can end up with ANYONE ... and it doesn't just take a lot of beer.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/malingering/224571167/

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

Yes, to build attraction with hot women, you must have TOOLS

I got this email from a student who understands how this all works. We're always looking for a clever trick or a technique. In the end, it's all about providing you with TOOLS. These are tools that work. Tools you need.

Also, pay attention to his story a little ... there' are things to learn...

______________________
Carlos,

I'm sure you here this a lot, but you have CHANGED my life! , Here is a little info about me. I ended a 4 year relationship with a girl who moved to my city to be with me. I hung on to the fact that she did move here to be with me and I tried really hard to make this work. She is a great woman, but somewhere along the line, things went way south. I mean, it went from being awesome to long silences, and month long "breaks" from sexual intimacy. When we first started seeing one another, I only worked one job, but I had to take a second one to make ends meet. I explained this to her and of course she said she was ok with this.

When I look back on it, my second gig took time away from us, but I would always compromise by offering time when I wasn't working.  This didn't seem to do the trick either and she simply pulled away from me, more and more.  I encouraged in my absence, that she take up hobbies or get more friends (at least local ones), none of this seemed to work too well, and she kind of clanged to me even harder, and would resent me working so "much".  

To make a long story short, I got tired of our arguing about a million little things, and very tired of being miserable. I wanted change and compromise, but I didnt feel she was willing to compromise so we could both find mutual ground. I suppose I had a feeling that this isnt what a relationship is supposed to be, and I wanted better.

I made up my mind and I ended the relationship, in late February of 2006 and I really do feel great about it. I had to go through a few mind state changes if you will. While on my path to a better me, I happened to run across your material. Its an odd coincidence, but I came to know about your material from another "guru" so to speak. You did an audio program with him and your concepts knocked me off of my seat, man - LITERALLY!  

I was like, this guy is on to something.  So along with books on NLP, Fear Analysis, and Self-Image, I downloaded a copy of your Dating Black Book.  I read the whole thing in about 3 days. The second time was a little longer (I was busy applying some of your techniques). It was like a light bulb came on upstairs. I am learning and understanding more and more about not just dating, but LIFE.

I love everyday now and your offerings have been a huge part in this change in me! I'm currently living a blissfully single life and I never lack for company.  My friends now say I need a day planner to keep my new "friends" in line.  I could never see myself as I am today, just a year ago: confident, powerful, and charming. To me this has been key, and when you get this part going, its like a river, it will just keep rolling along.

When you say that success in this area, carries over into other areas........  I have to tell ya, it really does.  I have gotten a promotion on my job and have 2 job offers now to do what I do in other areas. My brothers in arms, If you not been able to absorb all of this info from Carlos, I'm here to tell you, buy his products, they work!!!  I mean like right, now!

If you have a genuine desire to figure this whole man/woman dynamic out, get Carlos' tools! I don't like to call them programs, when I applied them, I call them tools, because they are just that great! I recently bought the Approach Woman Now set and this stuff is gold.

I took the careful skeleton that Carlos put in front of me and I personalized it. I was able to work myself up from 1 interaction a week to 3 or so a day!  This from a guy who would always sit and admire from afar! That was not living! That was simply losing and find some dumb excuse to allow it to continue.  

Guys, if you want to get it and be the kind of guy that actually "gets" it, hit Carlos up. Trust me, you will be so glad that you did!!!

DD
Memphis, TN

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

Don't try to get revenge on a woman that cheats on you... It's not Alpha

Hi carlos,
  
I have a question, i have been going out with this girl for about 6 months until i found out via a very good friend of mine telling me that he saw her with some other guy holding hands etc.
  
Of course this pissed me off, but i kept my cool, and sent her a message saying " I think we should just be friends., She replied " i assumed we were friends"  My response was " cool, I'm glad we see eye to eye" and haven't spoken to her for a week now.
  
Do you think that I got the upper hand in the breakup? ( 4 days before this she said that she was disappointed she didn't see me on the weekend, and that she wanted to see me, so she couldn't have just assumed we were friends )
  
I believe she is going to be at my sisters wedding next week and she is going to bring her NEW boyfriend with her, What should i do?
  
Must i confront the boyfriend, or her or just ignore her totally, which would work best to piss her off ( i would just like to show her what a big mistake she has done )
  
I await your marvelous advice.
  
D
______________________
CARLOS ANSWERS:

First of all, there is no such thing as "upper hand."

What do you expect would happen when you got this "upper hand"? There would be a choir of angels singing to you? She'd see the error of her ways and jump back into your arms?

Wanting to "defeat" her or prove something like this is actually more of a problem.

Upper hand is all in your mind, my friend. One perception vs. another.

Why do you need to "piss her off"?

I'll tell you why you feel this need: You're still angry at her, and you want some kind of revenge for her hurting you.

Plain and simple.

And it's completely understandable.

What you cannot do is let this anger take over your world-view and think that you'll actually gain self-respect or Alpha Power from "proving" something to this girl. You'll just end up making yourself look pitiful in her eyes the harder you try to orchestrate your 'revenge.'

Anger leads to the dark side, dude. Didn't you watch the "Star Wars" movies?

What you should do is to LET GO of your anger right now. You're hurt and slighted, and what you do next will serve to either reinforce or destroy your healthy Alpha Man frame.

Instead of working to make someone else feel a certain way (which is scarcity thinking - you should have lined up ten replacements by now), why not work to make yourself get over you anger and fear of your own inadequacy?

Isn't that a little more constructive?

Yes, right now there's a battle going on in your mind. One side will be the victor. Only you can choose which side will win.

The Alpha side, the side that knows that you are going to move on to happier hunting grounds, and that this woman obviously wasn't honorable enough for you. Good riddance to bad news, I say.

Or the Beta ("dark") side that knows that it's just twisted anger and fear that makes us need to hurt someone because they've hurt us.

You choose.

And I also recommend you learn how to be the Alpha Man women want by getting immersed right now...

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

Fall Fashion for Men ... let me save you some trouble on this one...

Here's a brief piece on fall fashion for men.

Let me start right off the bat by saying that it's pretty much worthless.

Just adhere to the broader rules of common sense than worry about any particular fashion statement.

______________________

Men, contrary to popular belief, have more fashion choices than ever. And this fall's trends are timeless in their appeal.

It’s important to incorporate your own personal style in your clothing while remaining professional. “Don’t succumb to trends that will label you a fashion victim,” warns Lloyd. Translation: Don’t try too many trends at once. Stick to one that flatters your personality and build your look around it.

One thing every man should have in his wardrobe is a classic blazer. It goes with everything, from jeans to trousers. And it’s timeless. “It’s better to have one good jacket and wear it with different shirts or sweaters than five average jackets,” says Dan Peres, Editor in Chief of Details magazine.

In a corporate environment, where ties are often required, a school striped tie is featured on runways this fall. It's elegant when paired with a streamlined navy suit. This trend adds a sense of fun and personality without making a bold, over–the-top statement.

When not wearing a tie, try layering a thin sweater – crew or V-neck – over a button-down shirt. It’s very James Bond, especially when worn with a jacket. But this is best done on lean, tall frames, lest you look bulky.

“You can communicate personal style through accessories – or a beautiful sweater – and stand out,” says Peres, who says that pocket squares, watches, cufflinks, and socks (read: never white ones!) are items men can use to express who they are. That, and perhaps a military-inspired jacket. This, however, should not be taken too literally. “It’s not about Salvation Army,” says Buckingham, but rather, “a subtle peacoat with great gold buttons, which can be very American-classic.”

Going with quality offers a measure of polish, which says more than you’d think. Adds Peres, “Polish shows you care about your job – and yourself." He feels that men should avoid, at all costs, ripped jeans, raggedy T-shirts, and things that don’t fit well, no matter how creative or casual the work environment. And in a corporate atmosphere, anything unpolished should not even be considered.

______________________
CARLOS:

Wow, avoid ripped jeans, raggedy t-shirts, and things that don't fit well.

These guys are brilliant.

Take my advice: Just go to a store like Old Navy, pick out some reasonably cool fitted jeans and a few nice shirts, and get the cute brunette to help you choose this. Then get her phone number and meet up this weekend to try out your new wardrobe.

... and forget you ever had to go into the realm of wondering what fashion trends are waiting out there for you...

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

The Alpha Immersion program is for REAL

Carlos … I dont usually write testimonials anywhere, but this is the time I HAVE TO make exception ...
I have studied pick up and dating stuff almost 3 years soon ... I´ve spend lot of money to the subject and I know what is available in market ... and when I run throught your DVDs I was really surprised how much I got from it. You really hit to to the details and I love it!

Your DVDs really give A LOT of practical and useful information and I got lot of missing pieces back to my game from this program. And also If you are really new with all this dating stuff ... I can really proudly recommend because it´s gonna take your success further than any other single dating program on the market! ... Trust me.
 
J. from Scandinavia
___

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

Alpha Men take note: These are the women you don't want...

Hey Carlos,
  
Everyone makes these techniques/attitude sound like magic and like a science that they always work and stuff.

Now my question is aren't there some girls where this stuff just wont work on?

I mean I have been in situations where I felt I executed pretty well and the girl just doesn't seem to be gaining the attraction or doesn't respond to it like the other girls that I've achieved success with creating attraction. I know that techniques aren't what really create the attraction and that its the underlying CONFIDENCE, but doesn't this idea apply to confidence also?

I mean aren't there some girls where even demonstrating your alpha confidence and being your confident self wont work?

______________________
CARLOS:

Yes, there are some girls that Alpha Confidence will not work on.

And my question is: Why would you want them?

Because my answer is: These are the women you must AVOID.

Like the plague!

I hear what you're saying. You want to know if there's a sure-fire technique that gets them ALL.

And it doesn't exist my friend.

No matter what all the "Gurus" out there tell you, there is no sure-fire, knock-em-dead, 100% absolute technique or situation where you get them all.

There will be some nutty chick who thinks you look like her brother who once molested a goat.

There will be a woman who has made up some inflexible rule about dating guys with curly hair. Or straight hair. Or something lame-ass like that.

There will always be someone who won't respond the way you want to GOOD, healthy Alpha Male behavior.

But the question is never how to get that one. It's how to avoid them.

Ask yourself why, in the name of all that is good in this world, would you want a woman that IS NOT attracted to a strong Alpha Man -  a man who is confident in himself, and going somewhere in life?

And then ask yourself why that might be...

?

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

What do you do if you catch a woman cheating on you?

Hi Carlos,

I hope you are doing find out there. First let me thank you for your help to me that I've become so successful with women through your various programs. I have bought most of your programs, advanced audio coaching, dating black book and approach women now, all of them are great and changed me completely. Made me stronger and confident around women and in my personal life, other than dating women.

How would you react in the following situation?

You date a girl for 4 months more or less having a good time in all respects and one night you ask her to go out she says sorry made plans to go out with my girlfriends and that nite you go out with your male friends and it happens that you see her in the same club with another guy, not her lost lost brother.

How would you react?

-indifferent

-confront her and ask what's her story and then dump her on the spot since she lied to you

-ignore her and hit on other girls and tell her the next day she is history or

-dump her without even contacting her ever at all or if you still want to keep for whatever reason, then how would you react

Your comments are appreciated

thanks Carlos in advance and keep up the good work for all us guys who are motivated to be successful with women

regards,

A from sunny Cyprus
______________________
CARLOS:

You know, there are many ways to handle this kind of situation, from the indignant to the indifferent.

But you want to know what you should do if you catch your woman cheating on you, right?

I would personally go over and make sure she knew I knew. But I wouldn't go over in an accusing way. I would walk up and say, "Hey! I didn't know you were coming here with your girlfriends! Cool!" Then I'd turn and introduce myself to the guy. I'd buddy up with him.

Then I'd excuse myself politely to get back to my friends. And even if it was eating me from the inside out, I'd be happy and having fun with my friends for the rest of the time I was there in the same place with her.

This is what I call "tainting the waters." There's going to be some weirdness for her and him if she is cheating with him, and you get to be the confident guy that acts like he could care less if there's another guy with his woman.

The fastest way to attract your girlfriend back to you is by letting her go (unless she's already on her way out, in which case you just hurried things up.)

But lets say you weren't as fast with your thinking and you never confronted the situation as it was...

A day or two later, you call her and ask her how her night was. Without being too much of a nosy guy, you ask her a lot of questions about her evening. See which details come up, and which stay hidden.

But in no way should you EVER become jealous.

Alpha Men have too many women in their lives to worry about the one that isn't sharp enough to spot a good catch.

In fact, the feeling I have inside when this USED to happen was DISAPPOINTMENT. I was let down that she could be so common.

Not every woman can come out a winner in my world. Only the smart ones.

Get it?

By the way, if you'd like to learn a technique to NEVER have women cheat on you ever again, I've included it in the Session 35 Advanced Coaching. You can still get it with Session 36 here...

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

Why do women need to go from boyfriend to boyfriend?

Carlos, with Women seemingly monkeys of the jungle, how can any guy ever trust there sincerity?  It doesn't seem to matter if they are just getting out of a 4 year relationship or 4 months.  Within a matter of a few weeks they have a replacement.  

Maybe it is because I am younger, 25, but I constantly see a girl go from guy to guy.  I really have a hard time respecting someone when I don't feel they are respecting themselves.  Why is it that I RARELY see a girl take some time to get her shit together before dating again while guys typically take some time to focus on themselves?
  
Jim
 
______________________
CARLOS:

It's funny because I'm watching this unfold for me right now.

Here are my thoughts on this:

First, women are different than men in psychological makeup. They are raised with the "Disney Delusion." That's the programming instilled in them from movies from fairytale romances that their prince in shining armor is waiting to find them.

Remember the nature of each gender: Men are brought up to be stoic and independent. Women are brought up to be social and connected.

I believe that women find it difficult to be alone after a breakup because this only compounds the feelings of "rejection" and awareness of their lack of connection. Their most important connection has just been lost.

The answer is that it's easier to get immediate relief than it is to go through the pain of being alone.

So which would you choose? Especially when the next boyfriend wannabe is just one drink away?

Women can get a new guy like that (sound of my fingers snapping.)

Guys re-validate themselves be re-establishing their most important gender trait: Independence.

So I no longer see it as a condition of "right" or "wrong." It's just a difference between us.

What you have to do is protect yourself, not judge women.

As men, we must watch out for women on the rebound, as well as help women by being our strong independent selves. This situation just doubles the need for us to stay in emotional control and not come on too strong with women.

If you want more information on how to be this man that is in control, take a look at these Alpha traits.

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

Got too many women attracted to you?

Carlos, I need your HELP bad right now.
 
I am seeing several women right now, and I feel like I can't date just one exclusively. I have stated this to one of them and she has caught feelings and does not want to continue this if I am not going to be exclusive and stop sleeping with other women.

HOW does one get around this without being dishonest and becoming a cheater? I really like this girl, but I honestly don't feel like I can give up these other women.

I think you know what I am going through here and I'm sure you have mastered the game for how to handle this type of situation.
______________________
CARLOS:

First of all, everyone shed a tear for this guy that has too many women. (*Note: it really is true that 10% of the guys get about 90% of the quality women out there.)

Well, I hate to tell you this, but more often than not, a woman will want your EXCLUSIVE attention. Otherwise she feels like a "girl on the side" - or a slut - and will not want to participate.

Sometimes it comes down to re-framing the situation for her, but most times it is a matter of your own personal power and posture, as well as your congruity and beliefs.

What does all that dime-store psychology mean?

Simple.

You must first reconcile your values and your honor. Do you find it acceptable to be deceptive to these women? To not be truthful and feel dishonest?

Then your only path is to be straight and clear with them:

"Look, I really love spending time with you. I think you're fantastic, and I'd like to see where this will go. I just don't want to rush things. And I hope you don't either. I'm sure you've done that in the past and regretted it, like I did.  I'd just like us to keep our options open for now while we see what might happen. If it's meant to be, we'll be together. Now let's go have some fun."

And if she is still hung up on this, you may have to consider losing her.

What?

Is Carlos suggesting that monogamy is BAD???

What I'm saying is that any belief that is black-and-white is immediately suspicious to me.

Monogamy is GREAT - in the right situation. However, at the start of a relationship that you have not tested and experienced completely, it could cause much more harm than good.

Remember that most people get into a long term relationship out of FEAR.

They're afraid of being alone, and they are also afraid of being single. (Which somehow equates to the same thing.)

Just keep in mind that you are taking risks with anyone out there, so safe sexual practices are ALWAYS required.

Now how do you communicate the right personality so that women will understand they are lucky to have YOU?

Find out HERE.

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

A social life is the best thing you can get to attract women and get a girlfriend

Carlos ... I know the sort of behavior you preach works, and works very well. I see evidence for it every day. It works for me, but I never get anywhere. I can't keep it working. I'm almost certain that the reason is my complete lack of a social life.

I can say with conviction that I'm one of the most fun people you'll ever meet. I can go into a completely silent classroom, break it up, and get a bunch of people talking. Everyone knows who I am in a day or two. If I meet you individually, you defiantly wont forget me. I get complimented all the time about how fun, interesting, and enjoyable I was everywhere I go. I can do it because I'm true to myself and what I want to do, just like you say to do.

But, as I said, I have no social life and very very few friends,... try counting on one hand. I don't understand it, nobody ever wants to get together with me again. (And I know I’m not that bad) I've lost more friends in the last year than I've made. Made 1, lost 5. And these aren’t falling outs, they are fade outs because I refuse to call constantly proposing we get together (just like you say), which never happens anyway.

Your products have defiantly made me able to harden myself against the bombardment of negative social rejection and inactivity, and I don’t really think that it is totally me by a far shot. But I have to be doing something's wrong for it to be this bad. I can feel that something is off.

So, my question to you is: Is there anything out there to help the socially awkward/inept/incompetent? Do you have any suggestions. It’s hard to meet women when you don’t have any friends or a social life. You can trick them at first, but they find out soon after.

So, if you can, help me, and many other men.

_________________________

CARLOS:

It's a hard thing for me to diagnose from here, not having met you and experienced your glorious presence, (sarcasm with a wink) However...

Something does have to be "off" as you say.

And if I were to guess what the reason is, I'd bet this:

SINCERITY.

I cover this concept completely in the Alpha Immersion DVD program, but briefly, you're not convincing people that you're genuine and REAL with them.

When people view you as "the entertainer" or "Mr. Fun Guy," you'll often be viewed as yet another channel of reality TV that they can live without.

But also recognize that today's society does not allow a lot of time to form a large network of social ties. It's a symptom of our hurried, harried, and hassled lives that we barely have enough time to focus on ourselves, and for many people it's too much to work at their social network.

Here's the solution:

Start putting work back into maintaining your relationships with people.

It takes EFFORT. And very often, you might find yourself being the one to do all the work.

Tough Turkey.

The alternative - Solitude -  isn't acceptable, so you MUST put the effort in.

People can often sense when a person is a bunch of talk as opposed to someone who will work at the friendship, and they will hang back.

I used to struggle with this, too. It was so much effort to keep up friendships (especially with my married friends). But ultimately it is worth it, even if you only ever meet up with them once or twice every few months.

And you're very right when you say that you can't meet women as easily without any friends. Mostly because a guy with a strong social network just has a better vibe about him.

They say there are three elements to your health - Physical, mental, and social. Many people figure because they are not depressed and not sick, that they are healthy. Not so.

You need a social network. It's one of the things that will help your dating skills more than anything. Primarily because a man without friends has an air of neediness about him that transfers to his game. The second he gets a woman, he over-focuses on her, and forgets the few friends he had.

To help you, start with these steps:

1) Say yes to EVERY social invitation you receive. I get a lot of guys that actually get a lot of requests to go out, but they're so "dug in" at home, they let inertia stop them from going out.

If you get a call at 11:00 at night, you go out.

If you get an invitation to play checkers in the park, you go out.

2) Get involved in as many social groups as you can.

Join a local outdoor club, or a hiking group, or a chess club. Whatever.

Your next girl might be the relative or friend of someone in one of these classes. Or the friend of another friend.

You can't know.

All you can do is expose yourself to the possibilities.

3) Get out of your damn house!

I'm amazed by how many guys spend 80-90% of their free time at home doing isolated activities and wonder why they are friendless.

Go out and read at the park.

Go out and surf the net on your laptop at the local coffee shop.

Just GO OUT!

Chance of meeting a new friend at home: 0%
Chance of meeting a new friend out in the real world: As high as you want to make it.

Focus on your social network. Put the effort in.

And if you need more advice on the Alpha Lifestyle, take a look here

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

When a woman punches you in the gut, and how you lose control

You ever get 'hooked' on a girl, maybe you go out and have a great time together, and then you show her a little attention, but you don't get what you expected back? In fact, she just ignores you, for the most part?

Doesn't that feeling just suck?

It's like you were punched in the gut, and it leaves a sinking feeling behind to remind you that maybe she's not as into you as you thought. And then you get caught up in that dysfunctional state of mind where you start fishing for feedback in an attempt to get her interested again - or maybe just get a signal from her that she is still interested.

"Wait... is she still interested? What happened?"


Stop looking for indicators and signals.

This kind of seeking her reciprocation is how most guys are turned into the "nice" variety.
You start seeking her response more than you go on being an independent and cool dude, and she starts to pick up on your neediness.

Things get ugly from here, as she is inspired to give less and less to you because she feels crowded and pressured.

You end up wanting more and more because you're getting less and less.

Watch out for this wicked - and toxic - spiral.

And if you want more information on how to maintain your cool and calm, take a look at this program...

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

SPECIAL REPORT: Do seduction "techniques" ruin your game?

Hey, I just wanted to let you know I've got a special report for you.

I got a lot of questions from guys lately about using "techniques" and I wanted to give you some strong advice about how you need to develop your skills.

Go check it out:
Are Seduction Techniques Ruining Your Game?

I'll leave it up for a few days for you...

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

When you try to pickup on the woman next to you

Carlos,

Your advice **kicks ass**. I've read a few books and on-line dating advice, but by far you've got it mastered. So much of what other use are tricks or gimmicks, but I like your approach because it's all about confident and being real. Our real power is in ourselves, and when we see it, the women see it, too. Thanks for your straightforward approach.

I have a question about how to deal with an awkward situation. I went to get my hair cut at the usual place last night. There was a totally hot women in the chair next to me getting her hair done. We made eye contact, and I was getting all of the "go" signals (little glimpses at me, laughing at my jokes, flashing a little knee, etc.) I was playing it cool, but clearly showing my interest in return.

So, here's the awkward part. My hair stylist, B, is a friend of mine (no romantic interests). She knows my ex-wife and a woman I'm dating now. I didn't feel comfortable trying to seduce the hottie next to me, because, frankly, I felt awkward in front of B I decided to pass on the opportunity. Got any thoughts on this matter?

Thanks

J
_______________________

CARLOS ANSWERS:

Thanks for the good word....

Yes, it's true that I don't use tricks or gimmicks.

Why?

Because it actually LOWERS your self-esteem over the long run. That's right.

Because the message to your nervous system is that YOU are not valuable or capable enough to attract a woman on your own. You have to resort to tricks and manipulation.

That's a bad message to send to your subconscious, my friends. The first thing you look for in your program of choice is that it doesn't rely on a lot of fake lines and artificial techniques.

But as far as your getting blocked by the woman cutting your hair, I say, stop letting what other people think bother you. Unless this woman would actually report on you and adversely impact your reputation, then only good can come of your demonstrating your newfound ability to attract women.

Hell, don't be surprised if you start getting calls from your ex-wife, and maybe a few nooners with her.

The only awkwardness was in the fact that you don't yet identify with your newly developed skills enough to shed this self-limiting belief.

Be honest. It was embarrassing. That's why you didn't do it. There was a sneaky bit of shame in your head, and you listened to it.

Next time, dare to do what other men will only just dream of.

ACT. Seize fortune by the balls and SQUEEZE like you mean it.

How alive do you want to be?

Here's a way to live like an Alpha Man - with POWER.

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

This is what Alpha Men need to know to get women and attract women

Carlos -
  
In the short time that I've been tuned in to your advice in its many forms (newsletters, podcast, blogs, etc.) I've seen real (or is that R.E.A.L.?!) tangible results in my life that go above and beyond success with women.
  
When I saw that you were offering the Alpha Immersion DVD set, you had me at "Hey, check out my new program...". Wow. I have to say it's by far the most comprehensive set of tools - hell, attitudes - I've ever come across in my foray into the "data advice/guru" quagmire. And it is a quagmire - there's so much out there, and so much of it lacking. I liken a majority of it to the quick fixes peddled by snake oil salesmen in the old west.
  
Building a lifestyle and a mindset based in the Alpha principle has turned out to be life-altering. Attracting women is but a mere - albeit welcome - side effect.
  
While into the program, I can't tell you how many times I found myself going, "Ahhhhh...." as in "Eureka" even when you would relate the smallest detail (everything from, "so THAT's what I've been doing wrong," to "oh, THAT's what women think.")  I've made it through the 4-DVDs once so far, and I'm already looking, feeling, and acting better... being a better MAN. I'm definitely going to take the suggested viewing of at least 5 times!
  
The biggest thing I've gotten out of the Alpha Immersion program - thus far - is the philosophy of "Just act...now". There is no substitution for ACTION. And it's incredibly effective when coupled with the skills and knowledge - both the basic and the advanced - that you relate. One can watch and read all he wants, but it's useless without action. Your inspiration and tips on HOW to just act have made it worthwhile.
  
In closing - thanks. I have to say, also, that my purchase process was quick and easy, and my materials were delivered promptly. A pleasant surprise. I've done my best to keep this brief, and just can't seem to! I could go on and on...
  
All the best,
  
J.D.
  
______________________
CARLOS:

That's okay... brevity is not one of my strong points.

Yes, ACTION makes the biggest difference. I make it a point to show you HOW to do the things you know you need to do.

Without action, you're just living in a fantasy.

One of the things that bothers me about today's "new age" "politically correct" world-view is that no one wants to step up and put their opinions out there for view. (A big part of why so many guys come across as so weak and UN-Alpha.)

Everyone knows what to tell you, but they don't have a CLUE how to put you on the path.

One of the things I specialize in is GUIDING you. Not just filling your head full of flashy motivation.

I give you exercises that get you where you want to go.

Why do you think football teams, or even prize fighters, need a coach?

Why can't they stay motivated and do it by themselves?

Hey, we all have a tough time seeing ourselves from the outside in. That's why we need perspective.

One of the things that I caution most guys about is investing in a program without ensuring that they're on a continuing education program.
 
That's why I've got an audio coaching program to keep you motivated, on-track, and learning every month. You won't quit if you've got a coach, and that's what I do for you...

Take a look at the Advanced Audio Coaching. It's the missing link in your REAL Game.

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

Being a "try hard" with women - handling a woman's testing

Carlos,

Your advice has been right on in the past. I am feeling a little pressure at the moment because my girlfriend is displaying some control tactics.
I know that if I just call her on her behaviors that this would slow down because I am aware that she is reaching out for boundaries and testing to see if I am an Alpha. Last night I feel that she got away with TOO MUCH. I won't be seeing her for a couple of days and I didn't want this to slide too long. My thoughts are to send the following letter pieced together from some of your newsletters. Any advice?


Jenny,

I almost called last night to chat about your chronic
control freak thing and that you really are skating on
thin ice with that one. Well, maybe a young thing or a rich
older woman would hit the spot. Anyways, I think the PRINCESS ;)
thinks that I am full of it. Maybe she IS testing me...

   "OK, why don't we hook up in Vegas and get
married, this way we'll know each other well
enough for you to want to stop playing control games and relax.

   Or, we could just keep enjoying ourselves with  
enthralling pleasures as you realize that dating doesn't
have to be about power plays - but instead just having fun.

   I personally like the Vegas idea..."


- S

_____________________
CARLOS:

This is too much.... It sounds like you’re taking her too seriously.

Sometimes the best thing you can do is to ignore her completely. When she plays her tactics, sometimes the best thing is to NOT try and put her in her place.

The key to this situation and handling it effectively is to NOT deal with it AFTER the fact. If she got away with too much before, you’re now in the danger zone. The reason you’re in this situation is because you didn’t nip this in the bud.

Instead of stomping your feet, just ignore her next call or two. Let her know that you’re still the prize, and she needs to work to keep you.

And consider that if she’s a control freak, or needs to test you too much, you’re in a high maintenance relationship.

Not good.

Consider the cost while you’re at it...

But if you MUST set things straight, do it in person. Don't send an email. This will set off her "chickenshit" radar. It will come across as weak and incongruous.

A REAL Alpha would just sit her down and set things straight. No anger. No ranting. Just a clear statement that this is unacceptable behavior.
I suggest you get the BIG picture of the Alpha Man attitude here:
Alpha Immersion Program

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

Is it worth it to you to learn the art of attraction?

I got an interesting email this morning from a guy who wants to know if what I teach is legit...

Hey, as that album title said, I'm too legit to quit.

Here, read this:

______________________

Carlos,
  
Thanks for your weekly emails. They are useful.
  
One question - I have some stuff already from other Teachers like David Angelo
  
I feel if I buy your stuff, a lot of material would be overlapping and repetitive.
  
There is no point in reading the same stuff packaged differently. 
  
So I am interested in your material if lets say 80% of the content is totally new and not presented by anyone else. Which I doubt.
   
I have to say that I liked your interview on David series and some points were hugely useful and original. Thanks for that
  
 
-S
______________________
CARLOS:

There's always someone who doubts like this. Hey, I don't blame you. There are a lot of guys out there who are skeptical.

But I want to point out the contradictory thinking here that will hold a lot of guys back from HUGE success in life, and then I'm going to explain WHY this is.

First of all, he feels that what I would offer would be overlapping and repetitive. And at the close of the email, he liked my interview and some points were hugely useful and original.

Now let me ask you why you would doubt that I wouldn't have more of the same to offer?

Let me put it a different way...

When you're listening to music, why don't you just listen to only ONE band in any particular style?

If you listen to Jazz, maybe you only need to listen to Miles Davis.

If you listen to Alternative Rock, you only need to listen to Korn.

If you listen to Electronica, maybe you only need to listen to Paul Oakenfold.

After all, they're all playing the same notes, right?

All the others would  be overlapping and repetitive, right?

This is the common mistake of guys who don't understand how knowledge and education works.

Very often, the tidbit of understanding that puts everything in place is not going to be something you've heard for the first time.

Let me say that again, so this won't be the first time:

The one thing you hear that turns on all the lights and gives you that OH SHIT! moment is likely not going to be something you've heard just once. It's a bit of wisdom that is sent to you several times, from several sources, but hearing it stated a CERTAIN WAY, just once, is all you need to have the realization of a lifetime.

I don't, as a rule, justify my teachings.

What I teach works, and it's honorable, and it's original.

Period. End of story.

Zip up your fly.

Ask yourself: If only a few of the things a teacher has to offer, and just one of those makes you a little better as a person, is that worth it?

You bet your ass it is.

Don't make excuses to avoid improving your life, or be too damn cheap to explore what there is to learn out there. This is how guys put themselves on the path toward a fast death.

Get the Secrets of Attracting Women here

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

Kai Powers sends her love to Carlos Xuma and the Alpha Men

Here's a little note from Kai, one of the gals who assisted us at the last Vegas seminar... ______________________ "Carlos Xuma and all of his handsome knights at the seminar showed me as a woman in today's society that men suffer greatly from the same fears. Seeing the examples that Carlos professionally presented out for us, allowed us all to feel apart of the solution to the "game" we have to play in order to find a mate. "Carlos was very professional, articulate, humorous at times (which broke the ice), handsome in his own appearance and gentlemen-like to the ladies. I think the overall experience and the one-on-one time with the men in smaller groups allowed them to feel like they could open up and converse confidently to an actual girl, who looks very 'non approachable', because of our 'vain' careers per se'. However, talking to them and having them give me feed back, personally allowed me to grow with these guys and also to learn from one another. "As a woman, I am very glad that Carlos is pursuing his vision of helping men, women and people of this world become the best that they can be...daily....in their own lives, love and laughter! "Remember, 'When you LOVE yourself, LOVE finds you!'....XOXO Kai Powers @ www.kaipowers.com ______________________ CARLOS: And thank you, Ms. K... It was great having such a smart and insightful group of ladies to assist us. Hopefully we'll get the chance to do some powder (ahem, SNOW) in Tahoe this year, Kai!

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

Advanced Coaching with Video for REAL Game

That's right...

Session 36 (the start of our 4th year of Advanced Audio Coaching) is here!

Now with VIDEO...

This month's session includes:

 ◦ REAL GAME: What self-confidence REALLY is...
◦ How to build REAL confidence
◦ The Feminization of Men
◦ Sensitive men ... why they're not what women want
◦ Men and expressing their feelings
◦ Alpha Male qualities
◦ When it's better to be a 100% jerk
◦ Why you must make attraction and dating skills part of your identity...
◦ Your attraction ability and the Martial Arts ... Pickup Kung-fu
◦ The power of the power opener
◦ Creating your pickup "style"
◦ The essential Alpha traits
◦ The most important Alpha Trait to show women
◦ How your ego gets in your way of attracting women
◦ The essence of R.E.AL. Game
◦ What you MUST not do in a conversation with a woman
◦ The frame of masculine identity
◦ The 3 causes of failure in social situations
◦ The key to handling any social situation
◦ How to motivate yourself and what motivation really is
◦ The 3 essential rules of motivation
◦ How to move past the threshold of pain
◦ The cycle of self-confidence - how to use it to motivate yourself and get what you want
◦ Why goals are essential to your game
◦ The secrets to supreme self-confidence
◦ The 2 kinds of self-confidence
◦ The 3 parts to your personal confidence
◦ The 3 S's re-explained
◦ The Big Mistake about self-confidence
◦ If you feel this about a woman, you'll NEVER keep her - and WHY
◦ Your RAS and how it affects your decisions
◦ The 3 erroneous beliefs you create
◦ The 2 possible reasons a woman is not interested
◦ Carlos' cell phone rule & example for demonstrating your confidence
◦ The one thing you must never give a woman

The new video segment, covering:

◦ "The Best Sex" book - and why you need one like it
◦ James Dean and the "Bad Boy" look
◦ The elements of Carlos' "look"
◦ Sunglasses and appearance
◦ How to deliver your opener
◦ Handling eye contact

AND MUCH MORE!

Get it here: Advanced Audio Coaching 36

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men