Can you look like a player to her by learning how to attract women?

Dear Carlos,

First of all, thank you very much for your excellent work in helping men improve their confidence. I have bought both Secrets of the Alpha Man and the Alpha Immersion programs, and have greatly benefitted from them. Am looking forward to seeing more resources from you, so keep up the good work.

I'm in a tricky situation which I hope you can help shed some light on: I live in a college dorm where there are a lot of women. Their ages range from 20s to 30s. Recently I have begun to flirt with them and imho, garnered quite a lot attraction among them. I used a lot of the techniques such as 'tease-to-please', kino, etc.. But above all these, I believe it was my confidence and 'don't give a crap to what others think' attitude that was the drawing power.

Though I can perceive their level of attraction rise, I have not felt the need to take next step with them. The reason is because I haven't found one that I really like. So I've sort of build up a general attraction among the women. It also seems that the one or two women who liked me and who showed more overt signs of attraction towards me actually made the other women want me too.

So here are some questions:

a) Is there a possibility of me giving off too much of a 'player vibe' since this is a closed community? (the girls in the college do talk!). Is it possible to be confident with women and enjoy their company yet does not give off a player vibe?

b) What should I do in such situation to be able to build a general attraction among women and yet not give off a 'player vibe'? Should I continue to flirt with the women?

c) Some of the girls which I have flirted with showed a bit of a 'cold' sign to me; they would sometimes ignore me. And yet at other times would be incredibly warm. I believe it was their attempt at 'push and pull', or maybe jealousy, or whatever.

What is your diagnostic on this Carlos? Perhaps I have flirted with too many girls and should be more discreet? Maybe I should be a sniper rather than the artilery? ;-) But I do know that I enjoy women's company (and they do me too. At least that's what I believe!). Is there anything that I need to remedy? For your info, I have not slept with any of them...

d) If there is a girl (among those that I have flirted with) whom I would like to take to the next level (i.e., have a relationship with her), how do I do it? Will she see me as a player because of my attitude with women? If yes, is there anything I can do?


Hope you can help.... Thanks a lot!

E.
______________________
CARLOS XUMA'S ADVICE:

Good questions, all of them. You may be over quota for one email, though, so I'll hit the important points, because once you understand the right state inside, the rest are really irrelevant.

Let's start with your first question about giving off a "player vibe."

To begin with, you are very concerned with this perception, as if what other people think matters.

Well, the fact is that it does ... and it doesn't.

It only matters when you internalize the fear of creating this perception. In other words, when you feel like you are worrying about this projection, you're hurting your ability to attract women.

The Alpha Man only worries about creating the internal belief system that reflects his own goals, value, and integrity. Then he gets busy acting in accordance with that state. If he's being genuine and authentic with his honor, he doesn't give a shit what other people think about it.

If you want women, go after women.

The Player myth is a way that women unintentionally keep men in a state of fear. Guys everywhere are afraid of this label (as much as women are afraid of the "slut" label.) But isn't it interesting that women everywhere want to tame the player for herself?

Dude, you're in school. You're there to learn and have fun. Save the relationship stuff for when you're ready. (Because the honest truth is, no matter how much you might think you're ready, you aren't.)

But you're welcome to pursue something monogamous with just one woman for the time being.
Just take it easy and move forward on your own initiative.

ACT, not RE-act.

If a woman is cold to you one minute, warm the next, that's about par for the course, my friend. (You can learn more about the Nature of women in my e-books and programs.) You only need to hang around women a lot to find that they are like this a great deal of the time. A woman wants to rid the emotional turbulence of ups AND downs. It's not her state THIS MINUTE that matters - it's the overall variation that she can experience.

My opinion is that you need to drop this concern over the "player vibe." It's a perception that you are imposing upon yourself. The way you counter it is to communicate your own direction behind your intentions for women. Believe me, women are looking to have fun, and are attracted to a man who knows how to please a woman.

If you're doing your job right by leading her through attraction, and then getting to good rapport and trust, you just keep moving forward. She won't be able to resist a guy who challenges her in the right ways, and gets her attracted.

Here's something I want every guy to write on his mirror and read aloud for the next 30 days:

"Almost no one has the self-discipline to STOP pursuing that which they truly desire."

Least of all a woman, my friend.

So if she's into you, any "player" vibe won't stop her.

If you want to learn how to approach women so that you don't give off this vibe, I suggest you take a look at the Approach Women Now program. This will cure all that ails you, my friend...

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

Post-relationship problems - and scarcity thinking.

Dear Carlos,

I am writing to you now because I am in a bit of a post-relationship situation that I'm not sure how to handle.

I dated a girl for just over a month. She ended our relationship a little less than a week ago due to the fact that over our winter break from college, she was stressed out with working 2 jobs (she just moved into a new apartment) and wanted to focus on school for a few weeks. The words she used were "I think we should take a break," and then she went into the aforementioned work/school ordeal. I completely understand, and then she told me that "it's not permanent."

A little less than a week later, I still want to be with this girl. I'm not in love with her or anything, I'm just bummed out that we couldn't continue this journey -- I think this girl is awesome, and we have a lot in common, but at the same time I'm kind of confused as to how she feels about me, but don't know how, or if, I should approach her about it for fear of ruining our friendship.

And sure I've learned from you that I shouldn't let a girl have that kind of impact on me, but this is a girl that I love listening to her speak, and taking everything in. I want to make her feel the way she makes me feel, and that is being constantly on my tip-toes, and very excited.

Do you have any advice for me and my situation? Anything would be appreciated, and I thank you for taking the time to read this e-mail.

-Nick
______________________
CARLOS:

Sigh.

I hate to be the one to break this to you, big guy, but she's not attracted to you anymore.

The important thing here, though, is not how she feels about you. You can never truly "control" that. You can influence it (by using my strategies), but no one can ever control anyone.

The important thing is how YOU feel in this situation. It's about how well you manage your own emotions. I need to point out that you ended your email with a variation on the King Loser Line of all time:

"Yeah, I know BUT...."

The translation to what you're saying is: You know I'm right, but you'd rather follow your undisciplined emotions.

Look, I know how this situation feels. I've been there plenty of times myself. It seems so cool when you meet a chick that you feel like you have potential with, right? You want to keep that good feeling going. The problem is that you are holding onto good feelings as if they're rare, and you'll only experience it with this girl.

That is scarcity thinking.

Trust me, you are in college. This is where you should be experiencing as many women as you can. There's no rush! You've got a good 60 more years of dating and attraction to look forward to. (If you learn this stuff right, of course.)

The reality is that you have already lost her.

She's just going to walk away from someone she's into? Nope.

No one who has something they value voluntarily lets it go. Least of all a woman in a relationship.

Think about that for a few minutes. Go ahead. Go watch some American Idol and ponder this. I'll be waiting here.

You back?

Okay, now think about it: Would you give up a woman that you were really into?

NO! I know this because you're not giving her up right now!

No one (except a disciplined Alpha Man) would be able to walk away from someone or something they find fun and enjoyable and attractive.

She's breaking up with you and this is her "nice" way of giving you a chance to be a man and walk away with dignity. You should take the opportunity.

Here's what you do: Tell her you're not really interested in seeing just one person right now. You appreciated what you had together, but you want to see what else there is to experience. If it's meant to be... you'll be back together.

The next step is to stop calling her.

I can bet you any amount of money that she'll be calling you in a couple weeks, especially if she sees you with other women. And chances are you won't want to be with her if you find a few QUALITY candidates as you move on.

You're now faced with a choice...

One road leads to dignity, self-preservation, and establishing your own Alpha Man self-confidence.

The other road leads to a wussified existence as you spiral the drain trying to win back a woman that is already not attracted to you.

Which will you choose?

I can teach you the path to choosing better. You can learn the advanced strategies to attracting women right HERE.

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

How to interpret what a woman really means...

Hi Carlos.

I have been reading "about me" sections of women at myspace.com and I am wondering why women say this a lot. They say they are looking for prince charming and he's just got to out there somewhere.

What's that all about?
______________________
CARLOS:

When a woman says something, it's not what she means.

It's the FEELING beneath what she means.

And since so few guys understand the language of emotions, we are lost and confused in this strange land.

Here's the interpretation:

1) She's romantically programmed (as most women are) to dream of a 'perfect' man - like Prince Charming, get it? - that will be a MAN and sweep her off her feet.

2) She just got dumped and Is taking a long, cold bath in her bitterness. She thinks that most men are dogs.
She doesn't understand that her last relationship was a lack of gender and communication skills on BOTH sides.

3) You need to get my e-book to understand why women say this and other things, and what she's REALLY looking for. I talk about this and other fundamentals of understanding women in The Dating Black Book.

It's not hard to understand women when you know what emotional need is behind their words.
You can't understand her by thinking like a guy. You have to learn how to read between the lines.

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

Hey, guys... I'm in Serbia. And I'm still blogging....

Today's blog post comes to you from Belgrade, Serbia...

That's right! Yours truly is over here conducting a seminar and doing some field work. Plus, I've got a very special announcement for you Alpha Men in Southeastern Europe... Stay tuned!

For now, you'll have to deal with my blogs as I get my sleepy, jet-lagged ass to "work" each day...
______________________

Carlos!

How are you? Ok so I took some time off to continue working on my self and I tried to forget about the whole women thing for a little because I felt I needed to work on some things inside me. Well, I got my very best friend into the game (we are VERY loyal to each other and I've known him since 4th grade) and hes starting to read up and learn about the Game.

So 2007 arrives, and we both make a VERY serious committment. Our basic overall plan is that we both agree to go out a minimum of once per week (to bars, clubs, NYC, mall, etc) NO MATTER WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE (especially because we work and we have school so we are busy already). We also plan to set objectives each night that we go out, focusing on one particular aspect of THE GAME and applying it to real world situations.

I plan on buying a DVD player for my car so that we can watch your videos ... and focus on a particular aspect that we can apply that night (good for our mindset also before going in).

I took the responsibility of writing an in-field journal of our experiences and how we felt that night and what improvements/adjustments we can make for next time.We are starting to FUSE TOGETHER like never before, and hes just as motivated as I am. We made a pact that we would hold at our highest ability 2 key things in this whole long process: 1. Persistence & 2. A Optimistic, Positive Attitude toward one another NO MATTER WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCE.

Also, by taking the time working on myself for the past 2.5 years, I feel I have a pretty healthy attitude going into this. I view this whole GAME as just that, A MOTHER FUCKIN GAME. Nothing is personal, and if something doesnt go right its probably a new skill or technical aspect that needs to be figured out. I view it as a 2-3 year process, where we will make our way through point A to point Z with many obstacles, rejections, some success, etc.

Many things will happen in this process, and I dont know what or when they will happen, but I keep reminding the both of us that this is a learning process and all the best had to go through it in order to succeed.

So far we have gone to 2 clubs, and our objectives were basically to go in there and just relax, get comfortable, absorb the atmosphere and people around us and have fun together. In spite of that we told each other there would be no pressure to do anything YET, but that if we felt like it then we would be flexible and allow ourselves to approach or whatever.

So I ended up approaching like 15 girls, and he ended up approaching like 13. We just tried to bust balls and tease and then walk away.

So Carlos, what do you think? Do you have any advice for us along this journey? Do you have a good plan or something that can help me? Thanks, it would be greatly appreciated.

Your Student,

R
______________________
CARLOS:

Advice?

Only one thing, really...

PERSIST.

And stay motivated.

You see, most guys never get their game pulled together like this. At least, not any big level. They'll try a few things, but they never really COMMIT to it.

That's where you'll find 90% of your success in anything. When you plug in, get knowledgeable, and then get to WORK.

Keep it fun, and persist, my bruthas...

You'll do fine.

And for you guys who need to get a clue about how to do this in your own lives (because, yes, you still need to know what you're doing) - you can shave YEARS off the learning process just by getting the right strategy.

Get the Secrets here...

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

NEWS FLASH: You cannot build attraction by mirroring a woman!

A lot of guys get this one wrong. They think that they can use a common technique called "mirroring" to get rapport with women.

Unfortunately, I hate to break the news on this one.

IT DOESN'T WORK.

Nope. Never has. As a matter of fact, this one technique has been one of the most widely publicized methods for getting rapport, but it is always described as something you can learn.

The fact is, you already know how to use this, and when you use someone's "technique," you inevitably feel weird and creepy.

Hey, mirroring has its heart in the right spot, but it ignores a very important element of attraction called "attunement."

You're going to discover how this technique works very soon in a new program I am just putting the finishing touches on. I'm covering "Alpha Conversation and Persuasion."

Are you ready for it?

COMING VERY SOON

Until then, get the fundamentals here:
https://www.alphaconfidence.com

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

Mistakes in a Foreign Land

Well, sports fans, I'm here in Belgrade, Serbia, and I'm about to tell you something fascinating...

Guys here have almost no game. They don't approach here!

I went out with my newest instructor (I'm keeping him a secret for a bit, but you're about to meet him very soon) to do some approaches on the street. He's a master of approach, and his day game is excellent. I coached him today, and I'm scared of what he's going to accomplish in the next few weeks.

Yes, we walked up to women ON THE STREET and started talking to them and getting their phone numbers.

And it is EASY.

Is it because Belgrade is easy? The women are different?

Well, yes and no.

They are only different in our minds. They are just women, like everywhere else.

And I'm going to put some of the video of this in an upcoming video portion of the AAC program. (You can get it if you subscribe HERE) You'll also be able to get my field reports on this soon, too.

Right now, I'm sitting next to a couple where the guy is trying VERY hard to make a girl like him.

He's sitting right next to her, not across from her. (BIG MISTAKE #1)

He's leaning in close every five seconds (I'm not exaggerating) and doing goofy shit for laughs. (Normally, funny is good, but this is dorky. BIG MISTAKE #2)

He's not reading her body language and facial expressions correctly. (BIG MISTAKE #3)

He's forcing interaction and eye contact is almost constant - like a needy puppy. (BIG MISTAKE #4.)

Do I really need to go on?

Everything this guy does says TRYHARD - TRYHARD - TRYHARD...

Unfortunately he wasn't in our bootcamp this weekend. That's too bad. As a result, there is a ton of stuff he's going to cook into his game that will make it HARDER and HARDER to fix later on.

I could fix his body language in a minute that would INSTANTLY make him more attractive to her. I could almost guaran-freakin-tee that she gives him the kiss of a lifetime. TONIGHT!

This opportunity is only six feet from him, and he doesn't even realize it. I'll just sit here and keep eating my Bibioteka chips and beef. (Oh, they are SO good...)

In fact, the opportunity is right in front of YOU right now, too.

I cover all the critical lifeskills of an Alpha Man, and I can pass them on to you, if you're interested.

Doesn't that sound cRaZy? "Hey, are you interested in the information that will make you a more confident and successful man?" Sounds like some hyped up sales pitch, but it's not.

They are secrets that ANY man can learn.

But not every man WILL.

He'll probably let his ego get in the way, trying to be cool, trying to avoid the discomfort that comes when you realize you have some changes you need to make.

But I sure would hate it if you didn't get this chance.

Take a look at the newest Secrets of the Alpha Man.

I'm absolutely certain you won't be disappointed.

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

Did you just pinch my ass?

Hey carlos,

Here's a question that may not crop up very often. Generally my opening game with women is pretty decent, and initial conversation is one of the strongest points of my game.

However occasionally the following situation comes up, which leaves me in a bit of confusion; If i'm in a club or a bar and i walk past a girl (usually fairly attractive) and she does something like strokes me or squeezes my ass then pretends to look the other way...

Keeping in mind these girls are usually only about 18 as i'm only 19 myself, so not overly mature, unfortunatly.. i prefer older women ;).So how do i respond (not react ;) to that situation? i have a few ideas such as a bit of role reversal, pretending to be really offended or perhaps a sharp "congratualtions" followed by a smirk. Its got me in a bit of a pickle, what do you think?

Thanks a lot,

Elliot, in the uk!
______________________
CARLOS HELPS:

Well, if this is a problem, dude, I think you may have to re-define your expectations.

This is what we (in the attraction biz) call a "high quality problem."

I think the evolution of a novice to an expert at the game of attracting women would look like this:

Woman pinches your ass...

1) Beginner: Jumps and looks at her. He smiles and says, "That was nice! Do it again! Please?"

2) Novice: Jumps and turns right away to look at her. He smiles and nods, as if to say, "Yeah, baby!"

3) Experienced: Turns, winks at her with a smile and then goes back to what he was doing.

4) Expert: Looks over his shoulder, doesn't smile. He just identifies the girl and stores it away for future reference. He turns right back to what he was doing and continues. Later, he approaches her and says, "If you wanted to meet me, you should just say hello. How are you doing tonight?"

I'm at a point now where I tend to ignore this behavior in women (they usually don't do this as they get older, unless there is a LOT of alcohol involved.)

And all the other guys out there hate you for this. Really.

You want to get this kind of attention and game?

Learn how to approach women NOW. Click here for more information...

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

What if you fall in love with a Big Woman?

I would like to ask you about whether it is possible to achieve the right sexual feelings for anyone?

I have been in a relationship with a girl called Z for 18 months now.

We met on an internet dating site. As with most men, I saw her picture and thought WOW! cute girl! I contacted her immediately. She replied and we proceded to chat on MSN sending each other music. Everything seemed to be going great!

We then decided to meet. This is where the problem started.

When I met her in person she did not look anything like the girl in her picture. She was heavier, and to be honest I felt no spark at all really.

But because we had gotten on so well on msn, and I am not a shallow person I decided to see what happened. After all...Never judge a book by its cover.

But for the past 18 months even though we have become very close and I have become extremely fond and attached to her, the physical side of the relationship basically turns me off.

This is terrible because like I say I have become so very fond and attached to her that I do not want to part with her. I would do anything to acheive the right feelings sexually for her!

I really cannot see myself ever being able to get over her and the things we do together!

Can a person learn to feel turned on by another person? Even if that person turns you off sexually?

I would do anything to be able to make this relationship work!

Thank you.

Sincerely, S.W.K.
______________________

CARLOS ANSWERS:

This is the problem of having compatibility with no chemistry.

Sometimes it just isn't there, my friend.

And you cannot fake or CREATE chemistry by willpower. Trust me. I've been down that road before.

What happens is that you'll maintain some really swell feelings for her, and you might even sleep with her to try to make it work, but it won't work very well for you.

Eventually, you start to experience the quality of your friendship and connection suffer because you won't initiate sex, and she'll feel neglected.

Eventually, you will cheat on her. Or just break up.

Human beings have this built-in equalization mechanism. If you are with someone you don't feel attraction for, you'll start to neglect them and even feel superior to them. You won't want to, but that's human nature.

Remember my Principle of Truth from the Dating Black Book.

So what are you to do?

Keep her as a friend. You can still do things with her. Just be very up-front about your feelings and the connection you have.

Hey, she might not be into you sexually, dude. You never know.

The point is to be very gentle. If you handle it right, you don't have to lose her as a good and special friend.

But let's face reality - when you have friendships between men and women, it will be very difficult to make things JUST friends. There's almost always sexual tension.

And you're probably feeling a bit of the old "scarcity" syndrome, too.

This can push you into a relationship of convenience, and you're tempted to "settle."

If you want to learn the strategies that will get you the woman you can feel sexual attraction AND emotional attraction ...

Learn the Secrets of the Alpha Man by clicking here...

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

Hey, guys... I'm in Serbia. And I'm still blogging....

Today's blog post comes to you from Belgrade, Serbia...

That's right! Yours truly is over here conducting a seminar and doing some field work. Plus, I've got a very special announcement for you Alpha Men in Southeastern Europe... Stay tuned!

For now, you'll have to deal with my blogs as I get my sleepy, jet-lagged ass to work...

______________________

Carlos!

How are you? Ok so I took some time off to continue working on my self and I tried to forget about the whole women thing for a little because I felt I needed to work on some things inside me. Well, I got my very best friend into the game (we are VERY loyal to each other and I've known him since 4th grade) and hes starting to read up and learn about the Game.

So 2007 arrives, and we both make a VERY serious committment. Our basic overall plan is that we both agree to go out a minimum of once per week (to bars, clubs, NYC, mall, etc) NO MATTER WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE (especially because we work and we have school so we are busy already). We also plan to set objectives each night that we go out, focusing on one particular aspect of THE GAME and applying it to real world situations.I plan on buying a DVD player for my car so that we can watch your videos or anyone else's and focus on a particular aspect that we can apply that night (good for our mindset also before going in).

I took the responsibility of writing an in-field journal of our experiences and how we felt that night and what improvements/adjustments we can make for next time.We are starting to FUSE TOGETHER like never before, and hes just as motivated as I am. We made a pact that we would hold at our highest ability 2 key things in this whole long process: 1. Persistence & 2. A Optimistic, Positive Attitude toward one another NO MATTER WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCE.
Also, by taking the time working on myself for the past 2.5 years, I feel I have a pretty healthy attitude going into this. I view this whole GAME as just that, A MOTHER FUCKIN GAME. Nothing is personal, and if something doesnt go right its probably a new skill or technical aspect that needs to be figured out. I view it as a 2-3 year process, where we will make our way through point A to point Z with many obstacles, rejections, some success, etc. Many things will happen in this process, and I dont know what or when they will happen, but I keep reminding the both of us that this is a learning process and all the best had to go through it in order to succeed.
So far we have went to 2 clubs, and our objectives were basically to go in there and just relax, get comfortable, absorb the atmosphere and people around us and have fun together. In spite of that we told each other there would be no pressure to do anything YET, but that if we felt like it then we would be flexible and allow ourselves to approach or whatever. So I ended up approaching like 15 girls, and he ended up approaching like 13. We just tried to bust balls and tease and then walk away.
So Carlos, what do you think? Do you have any advice for us along this journey? Do you have a good plan or something that can help me? Thanks, it would be greatly appreciated.

Your Student,

R
______________________
CARLOS:

Advice?

Only one thing, really...

PERSIST.

And stay motivated.

You see, most guys never get their game pulled together like this. At least, not any big level. They'll try a few things, but they never really COMMIT to it.

That's where you'll find 90% of your success in anything. When you plug in, get knowledgeable, and then get to WORK.

Keep it fun, and persist, my bruthas...

You'll do fine.

And for you guys who need to get a clue about how to do this in your own lives (because, yes, you still need to know what you're doing) - you can shave YEARS off the learning process just by getting the right strategy.

Get the Secrets here...

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

Whoah! Not manly? It's actually ALPHA manly!

hi, I read your book and I really enjoy it. I think it's one of the greatest books I ever read it. After I read it I sayd to myself that I had to do something, to take action. I started to make some lists with things I like/don't like, what I should change about me, what I think that is good and wrong, my principles about life, etc but I got stuck at the beginig.Man, I think this list writing it's sort of not manly. I think it's something that a women does not a man. It's like some sort of fucking Oprah therapy in my opinion. But I also heard that this things worked for many guys. I guess it's just hard for me to write down these things.

I want to tell me your opinion. If I do this thing it will work? or I will fall on some "express your feelings and be a girly man" sort of thing... I hope you give me advice on this. I am not saying I wouldn't do it I just say I think it's sort of not manly.

______________________
CARLOS:
It sounds as if you're a little hung up on this "manly" thing. I think I detect a little gender insecurity - and maybe insecurity in your own sexuality. List writing is one of the most important traits of almost every successful man in history. Why would you say that this is "Oprah therapy?" Being able to realize your inner workings and motivations allows you to control your destiny instead of being another ship afloat in the ocean of life.

Just don't get caught up in the process of self-exploration. THAT is where a lot of guys get too touchy-feely, in my opinion. Unless you've got some agonizing trauma in your past, leave your inner child alone.

Remember the inscription above the doorway to the Oracle in "The Matrix"?

Tenet Noscere.

KNOW YOURSELF.
Trust me, my friend ... I do not put men on trips to feminine destinations. Have you read the title of my program?Secrets of the ALPHA MAN.
Not "Secrets of the Wussy He-Chick."In my program, I detail the traits that make an Alpha Man the next likely step in the evolution of men everywhere.
You see, women don't need men for the things they once did. We need to incorporate the best of our past attractive skills (which most men have sadly lost due to being raised in single-parent (mom) families) and the best of our new requirements:

- Cunning
- Social Savvy
- Emotional intelligence

Among many others.

You know what ISN'T "manly"?

Growing.

An Alpha Man who is secure in his masculinity is willing to do whatever he needs to in order to improve himself.

As you grow and develop your awareness of yourself, you won't fall into "girly man" behaviors, unless that's what you want.

Your behavior isn't some kind of slippery slope that you'll fall into, and POOF, you'll wake up a year from now a gay guy or something.

YOU control your behavior. Through intent and belief.

So get that paper out and start making lists. Start with a list of your goals for yourself, of the kind of man you want to be.

And then go after it.

The best way (and one that countless men have found to work for them) is to get the Secrets of the Alpha Man.

Learn how to be all you can be...

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

An Article from Psychology Today....

Get this! Guys don't like women with a competitive or aggressive sense of humor!

That's not news to me, or probably most of you.

Here's some of that article for you:

______________________
Ask men and women which qualities are most attractive in a mate and both sexes are likely to rank a good sense of humor near the top of their lists. The trait is so sought after that it has its own acronym—GSOH—in dating ads.

Humor has been viewed as the one behavioral characteristic that men and women seek in roughly equal proportion. After all, everyone wants a partner who is entertaining and fun.

At least, that's the popular conception. However, humor researchers have long noted gender differences in the use and appreciation of humor. While women want to settle down with a guy who can crack a good joke, men, to a large degree, want a partner who laughs at their antics.

According to Eric Bressler, a psychologist at McMaster University in Canada, men and women don't mean the same thing when they say they value humor in a long-term partner. His research, forthcoming in the journal Evolution and Human Behavior, manipulated how funny both men and women appeared on paper. Subjects were asked to choose a potential date of the opposite sex. Bressler found that women want a man who is a humor "generator," while men seek a humor "appreciator."

Geoffrey Miller, an evolutionary psychologist at the University of New Mexico in Albuquerque and author of The Mating Mind: How Sexual Choice Shaped the Evolution of Human Nature, argues that the humor divide is best understood as a result of sexual selection: Women are the choosier sex, and because they prefer funny men—a signal of cognitive fitness—men learned to deploy humor and wit to attract a mate and perhaps to outsmart other men.

"Men taunt other men with clever nicknames and insults," says John Morreal, a professor of religion at William and Mary College in Williamsburg, Virginia, who has studied humor for 25 years. "That isn't something that women do. They don't tend to play practical jokes, or engage in humor that humiliates or puts somebody down."

The basic difference is that males tend to use humor to compete with other men, while women tend to use humor to bond with others. Studies show that men more often use humor to jockey for position with other males when they are in the company of women.

The allure of male humor is so strong that female laughter may have evolved as a signal of sexual interest—picture a woman's girlish giggles as she flirts with a man at a bar. Indeed, a German study found that when male and female strangers engaged in natural conversation, the degree to which a woman laughed while talking to a man was indicative of her interest in dating him. How much the woman laughed also predicted the man's desire to date her. On the flip side, how often a man laughed was unrelated to his interest in a woman.

Bressler says that his study indicates humor likely developed through sexual selection because it is most desirable in romantic relationships. Women don't care about a friend's sense of humor, whether male or female.

A woman who deploys a typically male sense of humor—one that's aggressive or competitive—is a turnoff to men, says Don Nilsen, a linguistics professor at Arizona State University in Tempe and an expert on humor. Many men feel threatened, perceiving a funny woman as a rival or worrying that they'll become a target of her sharp tongue. "I think every man in the world loves the humor, even the sexual put-down humor, of Judy Tenuta or Joan Rivers," he says. "But very few men want to marry them."

For the rest of the article:
http://www.psychologytoday.com/rss/pto-20050808-000003.html

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

Someone that just needs to prioritize things...

Hi Carlos,

Greetings from Spain. Enjoy your writings here and yes maybe

I am afraid of more success.

Here's the deal.....I need to break out of my comfort zone. I am currently sleeping with a 3 sexy uninhibited women; 1 hottie of 30, 1 bisexual lawyer nieghbor of 26 and a shapely 41 year old doctor.

Truth is I was hurt both times I was in love and now find attracting attractive younger & older women easy....but find it hard to motivate myself to look for more. For example I 'd like to find one special Spanish woman that is sexy, fit, happy, and independent for an exclusive LT relationship with kids.

Any advise would be great!

ciao 4 now,

Valor
______________________
CARLOS ANSWERS:

Well, I can honestly say that you are in an interesting definition of "comfort zone."

My only advice for you is to get rid of one or two of your current harem and give yourself back the free time to LOOK for this special Spanish girl.

The only thing you need is time, not advice.

Just remind yourself that the longer you stay in something you don't want (?) is the longer you keep yourself from what you DO want.

Sit down and plan out how you're going to search for one of these women. Could she be one of the women you're already seeing?

You just need to shift your priorities from avoiding emotions to finding what you want.

Meanwhile, all the other 3 billion guys on this planet are feeling REALLY sorry for you.

No, really.

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

Do you want me to lie to you or help you?

Your newsletters have helped me a lot concerning the chicks. Quickly...to sum up There is a that girl who is really good looking. I knew her friend X and I had asked X to tell her I like her and would like to get her number. She said no but we could be friends.

After some time I somehow befriended her and later she gave X to give me her number. Fine I felt she was into me, i proposed after a week, she said no (X told told me she said it was too abrupt) I made it as if it didnt matter much and now. Later she told me she wants to be alone. She had someone in her life before.

A couple of times she told me to not expect anything from her. And the thing is I know she likes me. I know that!! She is into me. I dont understand that attitude. I know i generate some attraction inm her. She even told X she really likes me but she doesnt know why she bring it to the next level. May be its because of her ex??. I really want to get her (and others) . PLEASE tell me what should I do. ( dont tell me to move on please!)

I am waiting for your reply ...

Thank you,

A.
______________________
CARLOS:

Well, let's start right out by setting something straight. You're telling me what advice NOT to give you?

That's balls, bro. Try that with your doctor the next time and see how well it goes over.

Here's the REALITY, and it is not going to bend over for you, no matter how hard you may want it to - or tell me not to tell you:

She's just not that into you!

I'm not trying to be mean. You simply didn't use my information to get her attracted correctly at the start.

Ask yourself this question:

If a woman doesn't ACT like she likes me, and she doesn't do the things that SHOW me she likes me, does she really like me?

No, she doesn't.

The reason she won't move forward is that she's not feeling ATTRACTION for you.

Think back to the last woman you liked that you found out liked you, too (before this gal.) Do you remember what you did about it?

Let me ask you this: Would you have stopped yourself from going after her if you really liked her?

No, you wouldn't. You would have said, "Cool!" and proceeded to go along.

So why would a woman SAY one thing and DO another?

This has been the dilemma of the centuries, which I have solved. I reveal the complete secret in The Dating Black Book. It's hard to cover it all here in the short space of my blog, but I'll give you a hint:

Wanting something with your LOGICAL mind is COMPLETELY different than wanting it with your EMOTIONAL heart.

Read that at least ten times. It's THAT important.

Her words are telling you what she THINKS, but that's worthless. A woman has to desire you with her emotions before she will act on it.

Otherwise, she's damaged goods. Any person that doesn't act on their healthy desires is usually emotionally crippled in some way. And it's not a way that you want to experience, dude.

Look the real problem here is wanting this woman as much as you do. I can smell it in your words. Hey, that's fine - we've all been there before.

But your case of One-itis is going to be a real problem for your attitude if you keep chasing women that you didn't do it right with.

You should also find my letter to the guy explaining the reasons why you don't want to try to "fix" it when this mistake has been made and she's already put you in the "friends" category. You're fighting reality, bro, and guess who's going to win?

If you want to know more about the Principle of Truth that I teach, download my e-book: The Dating Black Book.

It's your first step on the path to truth and understanding the art of attraction. And it's the stuff you're not getting in the newsletters.

GET IT NOW...

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

You need to play games with women...

QUESTION:

I always get this reaction from women in which I initially build in a chemistry everything is going well and then after a few minutes i get the whole "i gotta go" thing women do to put us to the test to "see how much he wants me" or i want him to come back for me, etc..

I've always liked to play it cool rather than come across as "wanting her too much" to in many cases they've just walked away and then pride gets in the way of both of us.

Is this a real phenomenon? Am I playing too cool? How can I get her to just be herself and stop playing those silly games?

______________________
CARLOS:

Yes, you can play it too cool.

A lot of guys read about attraction building with women, and they get polarized advice. One side says to make your interest known and obvious, the other says to be really cool and aloof.

The reality lies in your ability to CALIBRATE to the situation and apply the persona that makes the most sense.

Again, most guys want a black & white rule, and that's the first BIG mistake.


My diagnosis is that if things really are "going well" and they give you this reaction, it's probably because they're tired of waiting to find out where this is going. A woman is always asking herself "Where is this going?"

She wants it to go somewhere.

This means you have to ESCALATE.

Drop the clever act. Yes, I'd say it's bad to gush all over her and be a starry eyed, love-struck fool. But you can also be a bit too distant where you're appearing defensive. Like you're trying to protect your own ego by not going forward and asking her for her number.

Your solution is simple:

Make your interactions start going somewhere!

Sometimes a woman says "I gotta go" because she wants to go. It's not a clever ruse to test you. She just wants you to piss or get off the pot, as they say.

But recognize one thing right now: Silly games are a NECESSITY between human beings.

Games are always required.

So instead of complaining about them, turn it into a positive force for YOU.

Learn how to play the games BETTER.

SMARTER.

And be more socially savvy than SHE is.

That's what an Alpha Man does.

If you'd like to learn how the Game is played, you should look at this...

MASTER THE ART OF ATTRACTION

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

Contradictions and dilemmas in attracting women

Hey buddy, thanks so much for your help. The information in your audio course is priceless! Your material deals with becoming a better man, destroying the myths surrounding your own ideas of a man and setting you free to have great success with both women and life.

Therefore I would highly value your opinion on the subject of showing sexual interest and being a challenge whilst also being seen as attainable to the girl.

For example I might say to a girl 'you're sexy but I'm not sure we could work' = sexual interest and challenge = good
However, to be seen as attainable to her if she feels she is either out of my league or not sure if I date certain girls like her. If she was a grunge chick for example and I am not. Yes indeed I am a man, but I'm more preppy. Therefore to let her know I'm open to her going forward with me I could say 'my last girlfriend had a similar style to you'.

Yet these two statements seem to contradict each other and its confusing my game. How can you demonstrate sexual interest with a challenge whilst also being seen as attainable?

Much Obliged

Graham, UK

______________________
CARLOS:

Glad you are realizing the benefits from the Advanced Coaching.

I think you may be making this more complicated than it actually is.

I've been reading some newsletters from a popular adviser that is doing the same thing. We have to be careful about over-thinking the whole "she thinks/I think" thing.

The key to demonstrating interest and not sabotaging your personal power is in the PROGRESSION of how you reveal it to her.

Follow me on this if you will...

The order of your interaction should be something like this:

1) Open / Approach her. (I give a complete program on this here: APPROACH WOMEN NOW)

2) Start attraction through the use of my techniques

3) Start qualifying her and presenting yourself as attainable as you detect she is becoming interested.

A woman doesn't care how attainable you are until you have been proven as someone she desires. Otherwise, she doesn't care.

To be seen as attainable, you don't demonstrate DIFFERENCE, you demonstrate RAPPORT and commonality.

It's a push-pull. When she demonstrates interest you say, "This probably won't work..."

When she demonstrates detachment or starts to pull back, you indicate your attainability. When she becomes interested again, you pull back with a challenging statement. This sets up the dynamic of sexual tension.

Want to learn more?

I'm giving 3 months of the Advanced Coaching - absolutely FREE - go have a look at this program.

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

Better late than never...

Hi, Carlos,

I am getting into this whole seduction thing very late. I am over 50, have taken such good care of myself that I look 10 to 15 years younger. Never been married, but been through a broken engagement once. Have been through various relationships. Consider myself a very interesting person, with great hobbies like playing the guitar. Very solvent.

After getting into this seduction stuff a few months back, my self diagonsis is principally that I had been putting women on a pedestal. I have since lowered them, and together with all the other skills that I have acquired from reading and practicing your stuff, I see lots of changes in my life.

Question is, any suggestions on how to get around this age thing if I wish to date women much younger than me when this question comes up? Some women have an upper age limit, but I beileve my youthful looks will work until the question comes up. Any suggestions?


Yours,

K
______________________
CARLOS:

The "age thing" is just that. A thing.

Meaning that it's PURELY a concept that exists in your head. You - like most guys, I might add - are very sensitive to their age and how other women perceive it.

The best approach is to keep yourself in good shape and well-groomed.

Don't ACT old.

Be young in spirit!

Also, ask yourself this question: Why do you want to date women that are so much younger than you?

Is it just because they're more physically attractive?

No problem.

But if you are seeking a long-term relationship, keep in mind that when you get a younger woman, you get all the problems of dating a person who is at a lower maturity level than you.

Trust me.

Been there, done that, bought the t-shirt, sold it to buy a prescription of Valium...

Some of these gals could drive a Buddhist monk into a psychopathic killing frenzy that would leave Charles Manson exhausted.

Be careful what you ask for! You just may get it... and more.

And here's a little nugget of Alpha Attitude for you guys out there that are also putting women up on a pedestal:

Instead of knocking them off, why not put yourself on a slightly higher pedestal?

Raise yourself UP instead of pushing them down...

Just another way of accomplishing the same goal, and keeping your dignity and strength in the process.

If you want the key to unlocking your Alpha Attitude, get the Secrets of the Alpha Man

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

Myspace weirdness... And how to understand mixed messages...

QUESTION:

Hey Carlos. How are you my friend?

I got a question for you.

Why would a 22 year old chick make a Myspace page and put up a bunch of hot half naked pics of herself and put in her profile she is single and only looking for friends.

I just don't get it. What's the point?
______________________
CARLOS ANSWERS:

Here are a couple reasons for those of you guys that might not be familiar with this:

1) This is a covert link to some kind of porn thing.

Porn is in every corner of the Internet. It's hiding in every little crack and crevice. Watch out for it and avoid it.

This chick is probably luring guys into some kind of webcam porn thing.

2) She's a typical woman in that she says one thing with her mouth, and another with her actions.

TRUST ONLY HER ACTIONS!

3) She's a little neurotic.

Some women are so programmed by society (and in conflict with the sexual image that they are not comfortable with due to poor development) that they will display themselves sexually on the outside with the hope of just luring in attention.

They tend toward very low self-esteem.


Now my feeling is that you're making the mistake that a lot of guys make which is that of thinking that what you see on the surface is the whole story. It isn't.

In fact, it's only a TINY fraction of the real deal.

The mixed message you're trying to interpret is the one that most guys are confused by when a woman dresses all sexy and says yes to a date, and then when he gets to the end of the evening she just pecks him on the cheek, tells him she had a "wonderful" time, and she thinks that you should just be friends.

AHHHHHGGGH!

That feeling sucks.

A 22 year old girl is probably not completely aware of what she wants, and is doing her best to juggle media programming, Hollywood and TV programming, and the social programming of her friends.

You can see that she's inherited a lot of programming.

Don't buy into the image.

Instead, understand the reality.

You can start to learn about it here, in my e-book. You can download it HERE.

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

How do you handle a woman that is dishonest or lying to you?

The Dating Black Book has helped me a lot, I have just got promoted, met beautiful women, and my sex life... well lets just say I'm more then satisfied...

Now the question..

I am with this girl Mary, now from the start of this she already had a boyfriend but I got past that thanks to you ... I have a feeling she is still seeing him. Now her interest in me is not a question, but the dishonesty when shes with him is bothering me...

Carlos what would an Alpha Male do in this situation? I think confrontation would just be a chickens way out of competition.

______________________
CARLOS:

Actually, her interest in you is very much in question.

Women, by their nature, are monogamous. They prefer one stable boyfriend than a stable of boyfriends.

HOWEVER...

This is not the case if:

1) She is young and has a lot of sexual energy to play with...

2) She is unstable ...

3) She is not getting everything she needs (i.e., Alpha Man with confidence AND ability to provide) in one package

If you were what she needed all around, she would drop this guy faster than the television ratings for the Super Bowl post-game show.

You are filling a role for her, and it's not complete.

You're right in not creating a confrontation over it. You'd only show her that you're emotionally incapable, and probably insecure, too.

The reality here is that you need to be looking out for your own needs. If she's still getting some on the sly from this guy, she's probably not going to make you her primary caregiver until she feels:

1) You're able to fulfill ALL her needs

2) You're able to effectively communicate that she is missing out on #1 if she doesn't act quick and grab you up before some other woman gets you.

And the trick of this is that you cannot communicate #2 with WORDS.

You communicate it through Alpha Man ATTITUDE.

The other trick of this is that if YOU ask her to be your one and only, you'll never know for sure if it was something she wanted. And she would always wonder if she should have.

Let the woman have the pleasure of wanting to catch you. It's her favorite part of the game, and you can't take it away from her.

Right now, the best you can do is to go out and see other women yourself.

And if, in any way, this girl has represented herself to be seeing only you, and you suspect otherwise, you must pass along the consequences.

If you want to learn the Alpha Attitude, you need to get this:

Secrets of the Alpha Man

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

What do you do when a woman strings you along?

Am an avid reader of your newsletter but not bought any products. (yet) The biggest thing I have learnt from you is about developing inner game/alpha man. I seriously started looking at this a year ago, in fact I made it a new year resolution. This time last year women looked at me as a bit of a joke.

I now work out, visit a boxing gym and have upgraded my wardrobe and generally started acting a lot less 'nice'. Strange thing is this particular girl has started looking at me differently since then (along with a lot of other women.) She asked me to go out with her a couple of times but then always backs down and always has an excuse when I suggest we go and do something.

She has an on/off relationship with some wussy guy outside work who she complains to me about but I get the feeling she doesn't really want this guy. (Over the last two years they have never even had more than a 5 minute conversation)

Carlos I feel that I am 90% there but just missing that additional something?

HELP!!!
______________________
CARLOS:

Funny, isn't it, how they always complain to you about that guy, but she's still seeing him.

She's still having sex with him.

And the bottom line, my friend, is that you are NOT.

Remember, you're hearing about this "wussy" other guy second-hand. In court they would yell "Objection, your honor! Hearsay!" Meaning that you're getting someone else's interpretation.

There IS a reason she's with him. And it's probably not one she's telling you about.

Right now, you're on the right path. You're making some improvements to your visible lifestyle, and that does matter (though not as much as some internal ones I'm going to tell you about.)

You are noticing that women do NOT like guys who act "nice." Not because they want to be mistreated, but because they want a man that they don't suspect is being nice just to get what he wants. (Most "nice guys" are anything but that, and women know this instinctively.)

There are a lot of women out there that pull this "hot/cold" thing with guys because of a variety of reasons. Here are a few:

1) She's got low self-esteem and some issues.

Very common!

She has some damaged beliefs about herself, and when it comes to actually getting what it is in life she wants, she self-sabotages and avoids that fulfillment.

Yes, it's twisted.

Yes, it's sick.

NO, you do not want to pursue her if you suspect this may be the case. (I sure wonder about her.)

2) She's unhappy that SHE has to be the one to ask YOU out.

Hey, the woman I'm seeing right now gave me HER number. It was a business situation where I couldn't be the pursuer, but she was gutsy enough to come get ME.

But at the start, she asked me no fewer than 4 times: "If I hadn't given you my number, would you have asked me for mine?"

Yeah, talk about a minefield on that one.

YOU are supposed to take the initiative. Not her. Make it happen if you want it to happen.

3) She's unsure about you and suspects that you're still a wuss.

Hey, she saw your transformation, so she's got every right to think you're still the wuss you were before you became more of an Alpha Man.

She's dipping her toe in, not so sure she wants to go for a swim.

You asked me if there was something additional that you're missing. Well, I hate to say it, but that missing "something" is that you haven't gotten one of my programs yet.

Look, the reality is that True success with women requires a firm sense of self-confidence.

Now, you'll hear that bit of advice from a lot of guys out there, but the difference is that they'll say "be confident," and not give you ONE single method of improving that confidence.

That's where Carlos Xuma enters the game for you. (That's me...)

I spent years trying out various self-help programs, studying my own inner psychology (and inner wuss, too.) I figured out which things make a difference and will genuinely help you improve your inner game with women.

When a woman detects that you've got passions and direction in your life - even if that passion is to improve to be more attractive to women - then they'll want to come along for the ride.

I saw it over and over again as I went down this road.

Now, I also mapped this development, and I want you to benefit from my experience. There's no reason you should have to take as long as I did to make these changes to your own life.

You can get my plan for Alpha Man lifestyle here...

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

Is your Inner Game ON or OFF?

Carlos.

...I can’t believe how far I have come in less then a
year. I am a 43 years old who was somewhat of a
natural from a very early age. I somehow got it with
women, not in great numbers but definitely in quality…
I didn’t know why or how, but I always managed to get
nice girls.

But the more success I enjoyed, the more I lost it…
until my last long term relationship with an
ex-model-TV star. Somehow, when she dumped me a year
and a half ago after a six years relationship, I found
out that I had completely lost it. I couldn’t talk to
a cute sales clerk without gushing and drooling all
over myself… sad, very sad…

I then met last February the girl who would become my
next girlfriend, and as with the last one, she was a
female player… a good one. But unlike when I met the
ex-model, I had become totally out of touch with the
man I use to be. A total wuss I had become. Man, the
distress I felt being played around like that by her…

That’s when I got my first contact with the
“community” through a French discussion board called
“French Touch Seduction”. I was seeking help and I
found it there.

I was quickly directed to Dave D’s e-book, DYD. You
can’t even start to imagine all the “aha!” moments I
got reading this book. It was like a spiritual
illumination from a higher power. And I could directly
relate to most of his material through personal
experience! I finally had a blueprint to the most
mysterious being on earth for me at the time: woman.

I got myself a copy of your Dating Black Book and I
started working on my game right away, both inner and
outer, on my girlfriend and with every women I met…
with limited success, because a) the inner wuss was
still very strong (fears, fears and fears), and b) I
was heavily overcompensating for imagined weaknesses…
Lol, I now have some very funny stories to tell… My
congruency was totally out of whack. But back to the
story.

Because of severe incompatibilities, and even though
the sex was great, I have broke up with my girlfriend.
I was full of doubts at the time, but Carlos, this is
the best thing I have done for myself in years. My
self confidence shot way, way up… I had acted out of
honesty towards myself and not out of neediness,
thanks to some of your coaching.

I have then enrolled last July in Style’s lifestyle
challenge. That got me out of my apartment and into
the field… man, it was brutal at first. But there
where some extraordinary eye opening moments, when I
could clearly see the social interactions, as
described by all you dating coaches, at work right in
front of my eyes.

Throughout the challenge, I have met my current
girlfriend, a high quality, very interesting
psychologist. Now, because of your material Carlos, I
was able to start the relationship on the right foot
and to keep it going that way. I am the selector, and
I now have options once again.

I can see from what she
tells me that me being an Alpha Man is very important,
sexy and comforting to her. I like her a lot, and I am
in no way domineering or rude with her. And Carlos, I
can’t believe how much into me she is. With the
relationship on the right tracks, I can now put more
energy into other areas of my life… like my budget.

Like you often say Carlos, my game is now always on,
because I love meeting women, even though I am
committed to my relationship. I still have a lot to
learn and I like having options, because with options,
I can stay in the relationship out of choice and not
out of neediness.

I would sincerely like to recommend your podcasts,
The Dating Black Book and the AAC program to anyone who
wants to become the best man he can be, in every area
of his life. You are authentic and honest Carlos. I
like that.

Your no-nonsense approach to dating women and life in
general, without gimmicks and crutches, is one I share
and you are now my main source of inspiration.

Most of the little success I now enjoy comes mostly
from inner-game, and that is what your program is
about. It is one thing to get girls, but quite another
to keep them and be happy with them.

With my inner game coming together, all of the other
pieces are falling together almost effortlessly.

Thank you senseï.

J,

Montréal.

Vires quod Honor.
______________________
CARLOS:

Cool.

I've never seen my motto "Strength & Honor" in French before.

Thanks for the letter, J. This should serve as an example to EVERY man out there that he can be ANYTHING he wants, so long as he is willing to DO something about it.

After your hot girlfriend broke up with you, you could have fallen into a pit of despair.

But you didn't.

You could have turned into a total wuss.

You did, but you fixed it.

When your inner game is on, your life is ON. You're more attractive to women, and you'll find that's only one of the benefits.

Get the secrets of Inner Game...

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

212 Degrees - A message of inspiration

You know that I don't just teach "seduction" here.

What I teach men is how to be better ALPHA MEN.

The path to getting more women always leads you back to stronger inner game. That's why I teach INNER GAME TECHNIQUES as well as outer game tactics that will help you attract women, get a girlfriend, or whatever it is you want.

Well, I've got a special message for you this week.

I want you to view this link in your browser. It's a reminder that there's a small difference between the performance that is merely mediocre and achieving great things.

It's in the 212th degree:

http://www.212movie.com/

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

What to do if you bump into her from behind...

I have been reading your emails for about a month now and I feel I've really learned a lot so far. The one thing is I've been having a hellofa time meeting new people and everyday I just see the same ol‚ people.

Yesterday morning I was driving along to school as usual and I guess I hadn't really become awake yet because I bumped the car in front of me. Luckily there was no damage, but the driver of the car steps out and I almost passed out when I saw her. She was a bombshell and she gave me her name and telephone number and I gave her mine as well.

I was thinking of calling her and I looked her up on Facebook and it said she's single and goes to a different college. Later however my dumb ass friend added her as a friend and said I'm friends with the kid who hit you. Do you think I still have a chance with this girl?

I was wondering what you think is the best way to approach her or contact her for a date. Thanks so much I'd really appreciate any help you can give me.

- Steve
______________________
CARLOS:

Wow. I've been getting a TON of letters from guys with problems with their friends messing with them.

Seriously, guys, if you've got a friend that's pulling this crap, your Alpha Manhood requires you to pull him aside and FIX THIS NOW.

A dominant, confident man does not let his friends pull this crap.

Remember what I say: You teach people how to treat you.

Your behavior tells them what they can and cannot get away with. I do not tolerate this sort of thing from any of my friends, and neither should you.

Step 1: Call out your friend on this and let him know this is unacceptable. Then clear the air and get a beer together. (Watch how Tony Soprano handles these kinds of touchy situations. He's harsh, but effective.)

Step 2: Whatever you do - DO NOT let this girl know you did all this research on her. It's not romantic - it's actually a bit creepy.

Step 3: Contact her however you have to (probably email through Facebook) and joke with her about her "backing up" into your car. Make sure she's not too miffed about being banged from behind. (Uh, you know what I mean.)

Step 4: On the next email, you tell her to give you her phone number. TELL HER. Don't keep up what I call "E.C.C." (That's Electronic Chickenshit Communication.) Just get her number.

Step 5: Call her the next day. Take her bowling. Take her someplace fun. Just get her out.

Step 6: Ignore your stupid-ass friend. Act on your own initiative.

Hopefully I've caught you in time before you get yourself locked into a spiral of doom where you cease to make any decisions because of a fear of doing the wrong thing.

Doing SOMEthing is always better than NOthing when it comes to initiating the relationship.

And if you need the full training on how to approach women anywhere, anytime, you should look at this program:

Learn how to Approach Women -NOW!

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

Be careful... she's not as "different" as you think!

Carlos,

First off, Happy New Year! I had a great party at my house last night that my parents let me throw and it was a blast. Since restarting the Alpha Man Program, I feel so much better. My good friend's cousin was here last night and she was
really hot.

We hit it off well, but what really turned me on to her was her personality. This may be the first time I actually mean it when I say it too. She was so noble and modest, almost a different breed. Way more mature than any girl her age (20). I told her out of instinct I thought her passions were sexy and went in for the kiss. She told me I was cute and bold (thanks to the AMP).

Anyway, we scheduled a day two this week, but a couple things.

1. I admit to a slight jealousy when she was flirting with another friend, but did my best to do my own thing when it happened. How can I get back on a woman's radar when this happens?

2. I leave for school in two weeks and most likely won't see her again. But, where can I meet more women like her? The girls at bars I meet are so immature. This one doesn't like getting "Fucked up" or smoke weed or any of that stuff.

Thanks,
P
______________________
CARLOS ANSWERS:

Yes, you'll meet a lot of women out there. But the biggest mistake you can make is to get fixated on any one woman as being too special or "different." And especially if she really IS special or different!

It's important to not get too carried away with the feeling that a woman is too special. The reason is that you'll start to think differently, and ultimately cause yourself more problems.

There's a saying: "You are unique and special... just like everyone else."

And so is SHE!

The big mistake happens when a guy makes the decision that one woman is somehow "different" and needs to be treated differently.

In the end, what happens? He simply overcompensates by fixating on her, obsessing, and ruining it.

Almost EVERY time.

The girl I'm currently seeing is special to me, and the way I got her was to give her just as much space and time as I did with all the other women in my life. I treated her NO DIFFERENTLY than any of the other women in my life.

And now that we're into each other, I can NOW treat her more special than the other women that weren't lucky enough to get me.

So in answer to your questions:

1) Slight jealousy happens when you don't have options. Scaring off a woman happens when you "TRY" to get back on her radar.

Instead, do your Alpha Man job well. Show her the things I teach you in the Secrets of the Alpha Man program. When you've done that well, you get her number, stand out in her mind, and re-connect later.

IF you haven't already found that the other women in your life haven't monopolized your time. Hey, if you spread the Alpha Love, it will happen to you. I have options options options.

And so should you.

2) More women like her are probably NOT going to be at the bars. But you know what? You don't go to the bars to meet the special ones, though they MIGHT be there.

You go there to get the practical experience that allows you to feel comfortable approaching ANY woman, so that when the special one comes along, you won't mess it up.

And if you want to make sure you don't mess it up, review your Secrets of the Alpha Man strategies daily.

It's the path to strong inner AND outer game.

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men