How To Stay Sane In The Crazy World of Love

I got this article from a student who wanted me to share his story with you. It's important to read because of the implications it may hold for your life.

We don't often think about just how damaging certain influences can be until the damage is done.

Thanks to Buddy for his story...

______________________

The Authentic Life
By : BuddyLove


I was plagued with bi-polar disorder and Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder ( OCD ) for many years . There is no 'one' cause for these two disorders.

In my case however, I am certain that I know at least one of the causes.

By the way, I have never taken any medication or see a doctor/psychiatrist to this day for my previous conditions.

I didn't seek professional help when I was going through those experiences because I didn't know that they were disorders that can be treated ( or at least brought under control )

Through trial and error ( and some information here and there ), I got myself out of it and can say confidently today that 'I' have gain mastery over these conditions.

I did not get these two disorders simultaneously.

I was a VERY committed evangelical/charismatic christian. My zeal, passion and commitment was equal to none.

I am not anti-christian. I am fully aware of its benefits and I respect anyone who is a christian or followers of buddha, judaism or you simply follow the hawk.

But I am also fully aware of certain doctrines ( teachings ) and practices in Christianity that could be harmful to psychological, emotional and finally physical health.

Ok, one of the benefits of christianity is that it provides a certain amount of comfort and group support in troubled times.

But one of the most psychologically and emotionally damaging doctrines of christianity is its system of rewards and punishments. Yes, I am aware of the teachings of grace, mercy and forgiveness.

Nevertheless, to a young and inexperienced mind the system of rewards and punishments are too much too handle. It is sometimes too much for adults as well. Granted, sometimes doctrines in themselves can be misinterpreted by the inexperienced and the unskilled.

In the area of practice, the most potentially damaging 'activity' that a person can engage in is in the so-called ' letting go and flow in the spirit '.

If you are/was in the charismatic/pentecostal tradition you would know what I mean.

In this practice, christians are encouraged to let go of their minds and emotions and allow the holy spirit to 'lead' them. Which quite often means ' speaking in tongues ' and allowing the emotions and imagination to run wild.

This is a recipe for disaster in the long run. As I have discovered.

Herein lies one of the major cause if not the only cause of my previous bipolar/OCD.

Bipolar/OCD that is religiously inspired is that much more potent and deep because we all know that NOTHING in the entire universe can fire up the mind and the emotions as religious convictions can.

For 2 to 3 years of my new and exciting christian life all was good. The church members showed lots of love to me.

Then, reality kicks in. The hype of religious, psychological and emotional mania begins to show some cracks. It wasn't sustainable. It can't be.

I began to have 'sinful thoughts' and committed some 'sins'. It was psychologically and emotionally torturing me as I kept on compulsively asking forgiveness from god.

In due time I fell into depression.

Then I would get 'recharged' back in the church and ' fall from grace again ' .

It was a vicious cycle. I could not maintain the pace. And finally the superstructure of religious activities and zeal that I have built over the few short year crumbles.

I was in deep depression. I was suicidal. The only thing that kept me alive was the fear of ending my life.

Then I began to find myself becoming obsessive and compulsive over the smallest issues that others would find negligible.

I would need to make sure all the electricity appliances in my room and house were properly switched off when I need to go out. I felt the compulsion to check and re-check ( many times over ) that all was in place.

I do that with regards to my car lights, the door to my house, to whether I have parked my car correctly and perfectly in the center of a parking space AND MANY MORE.

It was absolutely CRAZY. I KNEW I was excessive. But there was a COMPULSION in me that goes beyond logic and good sense.

It was like being torn in many directions in me. One direction wants me to be normal like everyone else and have a life. And the compulsive-perfectionist direction would seek to overpower me and stop me in my tracks so that I would attend to the smallest detail so that it would be ' perfect '.

Then the crucial turnaround came when I noticed that non-religious people around me and a far can or is living a happy and a fulfilled life ' without god '. I saw that life does not necessarily need to be TOTALLY defined by a religion.

I was at once curious and hopeful. I searched, inquired and explored. I was as it were plunging into the depths of the foundations of human experience once more but this time with some glimpses of hope to search out the life line that could pull me out of this rut.

I was opened to reading anything on personal development, philosophy, hypnotism or whatever.
I experimented with meditations, physical exercises and other popular techniques in the market.

This was also the period that I stumbled into Carlos Xuma's website and his system of personal development which of course is tailored quite specifically for making yourself more attractive to women.
Having said that, I discovered that certain principles in Carlos' system is applicable for general living whether it be in business, family or neutral social interactions.

One particular principle or idea in his system is to cultivate an Alpha Man Lifestyle. Its a LIFESTYLE. Its not just about learning some techniques to get by on a weekend outing.

When it is a lifestyle then change have to happen at a deeper and more fundamental level.
He teaches the mindset of the Alpha Man. ( ...try out his program )

Through applying some of Carlos' ideas, ideas from other experts and some from myself I have not only see myself gradually coming out of deep depression but have been seeing some successes in terms of attracting women also.

Through a decade of intense and devastating internal turmoil and having come out of it, I have come to recognize and know ( not at an intellectual level ) the foundations of human happiness and fulfillment ( It is not women ).

Day by day and moment by moment my foundations are getting more certain and solid.

When you realize what this foundation is all about, you will also be able to lead a fulfilled life of YOUR choice. ( women's mood swings will look like peanuts then ).

You will NATURALLY be alpha not only in terms of your social life but life in general.
You will not only be attractive but also magnetic because there is a presence about you.

I have begun to see what this presence can do to the people around me. Sometimes I am not even aware of it. Coincidently ( or not ), this is THE element that make authentic politicians, movie stars, industry leaders influential in what they do.

When you have this, it doesn't matter what techniques you choose to use ( or non at all ) as far as dating life is concerned.

Women will sense intuitively a solidity and authenticity about you.

This is the secret of the so-called naturals who attract women naturally.

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

Article on Gary Coleman...

So I got this link from a fellow Alpha Brother out there, and I thought I'd share the article with you.

Read this and my comments:

Newlywed Gary Coleman brings marital woes to `Divorce Court'
By SANDY COHEN, AP Entertainment Writer

The honeymoon is over for Gary Coleman and his new bride.

The 40-year-old actor and his 22-year-old wife, Shannon Price, are set to appear on TV's "Divorce Court" on May 1 and 2. The couple wed in August after meeting on the set of the 2006 comedy "Church Ball."

Among the problems the pair discusses with Judge Lynn Toler are Coleman's anger and intimacy issues. Coleman and Price agree they have "ugly" monthly fights.

"If he doesn't get his way, he throws a temper tantrum like a five-year-old does," Price says, according to a transcript of the show obtained by The Associated Press. "He like stomps the floor and yells, 'Meehhhh,' and starts throwing stuff around. He bashes his head in the wall, too."

Coleman says he gets frustrated because "the male is always the bad guy."

"When I try to state my case or explain things to her or try to get her to understand my point of view," Coleman says, "my point of view doesn't matter."

Price also complains that Coleman has no friends and inexplicably disappears from home in the middle of the night. When Toler presses him, Coleman admits he is negative.

"I don't have any friends and don't have any intention of making any," he says. "People will stab you in the back, mistreat you, talk about me behind your back, steal from you. And they're not really your friends. (They're) only there because you're a celebrity or because they want to get something from you."

Coleman went on to describe the couple's private life as "mediocre."

"It's not her fault," he says. "I always feel like I have the weight of the world on my shoulders every day I get up. ... There are days I don't even want to get up."
______________________
CARLOS XUMA COMMENTS:

Well, Gary, you whiney little bitch, it's time to wake up and get back in the game of life.

No woman wants a negative, bratty, whiney, selfish, loner of a guy.

Gee, I just can't imagine why...

Can you?

Go figure.

The lesson is simple: You can live your life as a pissy little recluse of a (cough) man, crying about how everyone's out to get you, or you can grow a pair of testicles on your body and get back in your no-career life and just add something to the fabric of the world instead of living off the royalties of a lame television show from the 70's and 80's.

Sorry, man. Not much pity here for you.

Life's a bitch, and then you go to the bank and cash a check for doing next to nothing. After 40 years, you still have a lot of growing up to do.

Give to the world, and stop hoping that everyone else will coddle your petty insecurities.

As Winston Churchill said:

We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

Do you ever feel DESPERATE for a woman?

Hey Carlos! My name is Kyle, I really appreciate your advice from the newsletter. The thing that has helped me the most is the tips on how to change your frame of mind when talking to women, for me this means thinking about how I feel so excited when driving or fixing my car.

My question to you is, How can I get my ex from just a few months ago, back into my life, and incorporate some changes, that will keep her with me longer? It was the best relationship I've ever had, and I knew from the get go that she was the one. However, she couldn't commit to an actual relationship because she still had pent up trust issues from her first ex who beat her a few times. It was almost like she was using me as a rebound, or just a sex buddy.

I must tell you that this all happened before I learned about your awesome techniques. Can you please help me? I'm desperate, not with her, but just on how to make this happen.
______________________
CARLOS XUMA ANSWERS:

Well, here's an important distinction for you that you must put into the front of your head:

ANY desperation will turn you off as a prospect with a woman.

If you think or feel that a particular situation or woman is URGENT in any way, you're likely to fall into this trap with a woman.

Let me repeat myself at the risk of losing you: ANY desperation in your life - for a woman, for an outcome, for a "how to make it happen," is going to give you a very uncomfortable vibe.

A man who is reaching for his goals and moving towards them does not seem desperate.

Next topic you need to consider is this:

Do you really - I mean REALLY - want a woman with trust issues from abuse?

Come on, man. Set a higher standard for yourself.

You're seeing that this was the best relationship you ever had - until now!

There's always a better experience up ahead. Stop settling for the past experiences that are over.

You're clinging to an old feeling that is over and you can't get it back.

What you do is this:

Go out and meet 10 new women. Give your ex a break while you clear out your unhealthy obsession.

If you still want her after you've dated 10 quality women, then you probably won't need to find her by this point. She'll have found you.

I highly recommend you take care of your confidence and inner game as soon as possible. Most guys spend all their time looking for the "magic bullet" pickup line or some other crap, instead of building themselves up into one magnificent example of a man.

Click here to learn how you do this...

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

3 Steps To Getting Your Physical Goals With Women

Have you ever felt like the goal of finding a woman to have as
your girlfriend is so far out of your reach that you don't know
WHAT to do next?

I've felt that way. There was a time when I was so frustrated
about finding someone - much less a woman that would sleep with
me - that I felt like I was totally paralyzed.

Well, I've got a real treat for you in this newsletter.

I'm going to give you my easy 3-step plan to figure out how the
heck to get started.

Right NOW.

Not next week or next month, but right away. This is an easy way
for you to figure out what the next best step is and get moving.

QUESTION FROM A READER:

Carlos,

First of all, I'd like to express my gratitude to you and all the
work you've put out there for other people.

I purchased the Dating Black Book at the end of last summer,
and ordered your Social Dynamics CDs not too long ago.

Both have helped to make me a smarter, less high strung, and more
self-aware individual to the point where I am now referred
to by some of my friends as 'the most approachable.'

That's all well and good, but it isn't enough. You see, for
whatever reason, I've never had sex, and now I'm nearing the hump
of my 22nd year and I'm dying to get out there and see what I can
do. I'm not shy, and my approach anxiety is fairly low, but then I
find that I also have virtually no skills and leading the girls
that I'm attracted to into intimacy.

My problem? I don't know what it is I'm looking for half the time
because I have no real knowledge of what it is I like to have in
someone.

I'm not trying to just get out there and screw some girl's
brains out--although at this point it might be the healthiest thing
I can do--it's just being a 22 year old virgin can be pretty lonely
sometimes, and I'm not sure how to get past my one blaring-hurdle.

Any suggestions, man? Therapy? A pr*stitute?

--sincerely,

A Man Jonesing for Love.
______________________
CARLOS XUMA ANSWERS:

Okay, I'm going to call you my buddy "Jones" for the time being.

I do appreciate that you took the time and effort to write in about
something that must be so painful and difficult to talk about...

Now, let's get this situation fixed.

First of all, I'm glad you were able to get those programs, because
they are the ones that will make a big difference with your game.

It's a common issue for a lot of guys to feel like they don't know
what they want when they get out there and start connecting with
women.

It's really not much different than being faced with buying your
first car.

What do you need? Something fast?

Something like an SUV - utility with a lot of space to carry stuff?

How about a 4-wheel drive so you can go up to the mountains?

Something with great gas mileage so you can save money?

How do you know what you DON'T KNOW?

Well, the answer really is pretty easy. You hit on it in your
email, in fact...

Write down what you think your needs are right now, and then go out
and TEST DRIVE.

The only way to figure out what it is you want is just try out the
models on the market. (And I do hope you score yourself a "model"
of your own. If you live in L.A., every woman is a model or an
actress. Or thinks she is.)

Now, keep in mind, you won't have ANY idea what you want this early
in the process.

+++ AND THAT'S OKAY!

No one said you had to marry the first chick you sleep with. (I'm
not going to go into a long philosophical or religious debate here,
but I don't believe any man should just jump into a LIFETIME
contract without shopping around.

That's just a recipe for disaster.

And I'll also say that just "getting it out of the way" by going to
a hooker is NOT what I recommend. There are men everywhere that are
hooked on this because of an addiction to fantasy that is so easy
to fall into.

Once you start trading dollars for physical intimacy, you're on
a very slippery slope. I can show you a far better way.

It sounds to me that you're in a situation that can be
remedied fairly easily.

First of all, make sure your goal right now isn't the same as a
beginning athlete trying to win the super bowl in his first season.

There's an old saying about learning how to walk BEFORE you run,
and yet this is probably THE most overlooked bit of truth in the
whole dating advice field. You've got a bunch of people selling you
"quick-fix" stuff, but no one tells you that you can't shoot for
the moon on your first attempt.

In fact, if you do, you'll destroy your confidence and ability
almost immediately.

So, as much as I'd like to take care of this "blaring hurdle" (is
it really?), I'm going to have to tell you that the next step for
you is whatever you have NOT accomplished yet.

+++ YOUR NEXT STEP...

So if that's going from holding hands to a hug, make that your next
goal.

If it's going from a kiss on the cheek to making out, THAT is your
next goal.

If it's going from making out to something more physical, THAT is
your next goal.

It's the same process if you're learning to get better with women
or with playing the guitar or learning how to drive a car.

The biggest and most common mistake I see guys make is to fall into
delusions of grandeur, imagining themselves turning into instant
players, or instant rock stars, or instant NASCAR drivers.

Remember, if everything was so damn easy, you'd be doing it right
now.

Your next step is your next step. You might not want to hear me say
that, but that's the honest truth.

But to get you along faster on that path, you need to start using
the information I've given you to get going further and further.
It's time to start pushing the envelope a little.

You've made some huge steps in overcoming your social limitations,
and now it's time for you to overcome the rest of your limitations
by BUILDING and PRACTICING the Dating Skills you need.

(I have more information on this HERE)

Ask yourself the following three questions, answer them on paper,
and you've got a blueprint to get you off to a huge start:
______________________
THE THREE UNIVERSAL STEPS TO BETTER DATING SKILLS:

STEP 1) Are you getting out of the house and putting yourself in
social situations and places where you can meet women on a REGULAR
basis?

If YES, move on to step 2.

If NO, then you need to get out and start doing this ALL THE
FREAKIN' TIME.

Getting laid is a contact sport, my friend. You need to be meeting
people and expanding your social skill set all the time. It starts
right at the basics - with your ability to just go out and have fun
with other people.

Go to speed dating, go to parties, go to bars and clubs, go to
match.com, go EVERYWHERE you can.

PERIOD. No excuses.

Anything you may have just said in your head or out loud to
contradict what I just said is bullshit, and you shouldn't tolerate
it.


STEP 2) Are you approaching or meeting women right now?

If Yes, great. Move on to step 3.

If NO, then THAT what you need to be doing. A woman isn't going to
magically appear, and feminism was a big lie, so no 'liberated'
women will be approaching you anytime soon.

Start meeting women right now by simply walking up and talking to
them. It's easy.

It's stopping that voice in your head that keeps trying to talk you
out of it that can prove to be a challenge.

And if you need it, I can help you to shut that voice up...


STEP 3) Are you CONSISTENTLY taking the lead by moving forward and
escalating with ALL the women you're dating?

If Yes, then great! You've passed, and you're on the road to
getting all the success with women you could ever want. It's only a
matter of time, because this is all you ever need to do.

If your answer is NO, then your next goal is simply to start moving
FORWARD with every woman you meet to either make them a romantic
possibility, or a "see ya later..."

Be ruthlessly intolerant of women wasting your time. It's one of
the critical success factors of all guys I know who get good
results with women.

+++ IT'S ALL ABOUT FORWARD MOTION...

When I say "move forward," I simply mean that you MUST not allow
yourself to stay in the "comfortable" and "safe" zone with a woman
where you're just happy to have gotten her out on a date.

Again, it's a common error that a guy will get a woman out and then
be so afraid of "messing it up" that he never makes an advance,
physically or emotionally. And then she just drops him in the
friends bucket because he couldn't get up the balls to make things
happen.

Now believe it or not, those three steps that I just explained to
you are the ones that 95% of guys are NOT doing.

Seriously.

As in, no joke.

They're not practicing the basics. Instead, they're looking for the
next most clever technique that can help them forget that what they
really need to do is take ACTION.

And honestly a lot of guys are immobilized because they just
haven't found the right starting place to take that action.

Well, action has never been easier then now.

All it takes to develop dating skills is that you overcome your
natural inclination toward laziness and what I call "SFN" syndrome.
("Something For Nothing.")

The average man gives in to his impatient nature, and he gets no
results.

The Alpha Man excels by overcoming his limitations and paying the
price to get what he wants.

But he's also smart enough to NOT OVER-PAY for his objectives! You
don't need to spend years in intensive therapy to get yourself in
touch with your masculinity and get REAL results with women.

Do you ever feel like you're at a loss when it comes to approaching
women and getting them interested in you - romantically?

Read the next couple paragraphs carefully, because it has a DIRECT
IMPACT ON YOU...

Women are attracted to several key behaviors in men. These are
things that many guys don't know women want because they seem to
goes against what they think of as "nice."

The ideas I've just discussed in the steps above are what I
consider to be essential behaviors to incorporate in your identity.

These are a critical part of dating success with women.

Most guys spend no time improving their skills with women, and then
they end up chickening out when the time is right to approach women.
They'd rather sit back and talk about what they WOULD do, but not
actually muster up the courage to DO IT.

I'm going to tell you a little secret:

I used to be the same way.

Yep. I was scared to death to walk up to a beautiful
woman I didn't know and just start a conversation with her.

If you're like me, you know that this situation doesn't get
better without learning some new skills and techniques to overcome
your fears. It simply will NOT get better on its own...

I made a decision right then that lasted me a lifetime. I decided
that - do or die - I was going to learn how to approach women, how
to talk to women, and how to get a date. No matter WHAT it took.

I started watching other guys, trying out my own stuff, seeing what
worked and what didn't, and I kept it in a book.

Now, a couple years ago, I took all that information and I created
a training program that was designed to get guys past all these
hurdles.

The first part of this is to get the basic skill of approaching women
under your belt.

My training program covers every part of approaching women -
without rejection and without shame.

I KNOW what it's like to sit there feeling like you can't talk to
that hot woman in the bar, or the attractive store clerk you'd like
to ask for her number.

I've sat there in silence, desperately waiting for the right moment
to happen so I could ask a woman out, and feeling that sick
sensation in my gut when it never happened.

Now you can get the tools to fix this...

RIGHT NOW.

Go take a look at my Approach Women NOW program. I assure it's the
piece of the puzzle you've been missing.

Go look at the program right now by clicking here...

I'll talk to you again soon,

Your Friend,

- Carlos Xuma

PS: I'd like to hear from you if you feel like you're stuck in
any of the steps I outlined in this newsletter. I think I may be
able to help you.

Just write in to me at the "contact" link on this page...

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

Man Jailed For Staring At A Woman

I'm passing this interesting question along, because it includes a very interesting bit of "news."

I put that in quotes because the news media just loves to stir things up by publishing things like this.

Read on:

QUESTION:

Can you explain this?

ITALY: Man sentenced for staring

An Italian man was given a suspended sentence for staring too intently at a woman sitting in front of him on a train. A judge sentenced the man in his 30s, whose name was not released, to 10 days in prison and 40 Euros after a 55-year old woman filed a complaint for sexual harassment. The two met on two separate occasions in 2005 on a commuter train from Lecco, in northern Italy, to Milan. The first time, the man sat next to the woman, but she felt he had moved too close for comfort. The next day, the man sat in front of the same woman and stared at her during the whole train journey. They never spoke.

Carlos: does this guy need to brush up on his Alpha skills or what? Could this be interpreted as a sign of the apocalypse? What's happening with interpersonal communication, flirtation, and litigation? Sure, Italian men may have a reputation, but isn't 10 days in jail a little extreme for checking out a (albeit 55-year old) hottie? Is there any way you can explain this bizarre phenomenon?

Sincerely yours,
T.P. - Taiwan
______________________
CARLOS XUMA ANSWERS:

Apocalypse?

Uh, no.

As fantastic as this might seem, there is always going to be a hyper-sensitive, indignant feminist dame who thinks it's her right to make a stink about a man's interest.

But, to her credit, if he did stare at her the whole time, that's pretty freakin' creepy. Especially a second time. You don't stare at someone for a whole train ride without saying something.

(My question is, why didn't she just say something to him if it was bothering her? Hmmm.)

And the fact is that you don't go to jail for 10 days if you explain yourself and handle yourself with any kind of social awareness. A simple heartfelt apology and explanation of his actions - plus a little mediation - would have avoided an incident. But he was probably sorely lacking in interpersonal skills, caused a scene, or he really was a lewd stalker.

Whatever. We'll never really know.

(Remember, there are three sides to the Truth: Yours, mine, and the REALITY.)

Whatever the case might have been, this is an extreme situation - the exception. And it's extreme B.S. like this that the media latches onto. IT SELLS NEWSPAPERS!

Ignore these stories from the twilight zone of gender relations. Just because you heard it on the news or read it on ("insert any news source here"), does NOT make it true. The media prints the stories that sell.

Look up the facts on story verification if you want to learn just how little anyone checks the accuracy of this crap.

Which do you think would attract more readers:

"Italian Man Sent to Jail For Staring"
or
"Alpha Man Gets Date With Woman On Train by Creating Real Attraction"

The news that helps you is not the news, my brother.

Don't pollute your mind with these stories of the fantastic. Don't let the ridiculous stories of the freaky undermine your constant courage.

Just stay true to your own path.

Stay socially calibrated and this won't happen to you. You won't have drinks thrown in your face. You won't have legal issues.

And we won't have any apocalypse.

I promise....

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

Fast Conversation Tip - Here's What To Say To A Woman

COMMENT FROM A READER:

Hi Carlos,

...just wanted to mention that I really enjoy your program. It's filled with hundreds of ideas.

For example, just yesterday I was listening to one of your CD's and you talked about using analogues ... like if you were an animal what would you be?

I was talking with a woman and simply asked here " ... if you were a car what kind of car would you be?". She answered "a smart car ..." and off we went for the next 15 minutes talking and joking about all kinds for fun and silly things.

Some really great stuff.
______________________
CARLOS XUMA COMMENTS:

Most conversational techniques are really pretty simple to pickup and learn. This is one of my favorite tips because it really works the angle of being different and interesting at the same time.

Most women have never had a guy ask them a thoughtful question, sad as that sounds.

Be the guy to step out and be different...

Do you want to learn more about Conversation & Persuasion? CLICK HERE....

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

Feminism and the Modern Alpha Man

I got an interesting article from a friend of mine that I wanted to pass along to you.

It's all about the evil 'conspiracy' of feminism and its effect on men and our society as a whole. Now, I do not really believe in any kind of subversive plan (I'm not paranoid), but the author has a lot of valid observations about how this "equaling" of the sexes has been a very

An excerpt:

"Men define themselves by deeds; women simply are love: beauty, grace, faith and goodness. Men tend to be rational and objective; women subjective, intuitive and emotional. Distinctions like these need not constrict us. They are a theme upon which to play our own variations. For example, my wife mows the lawn; I do all the shopping and cooking. But without the theme, there is confusion and chaos."

You can read the rest of it here:

How I Became A 'Mensch'

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

Do you want to date a hot woman? Get a hot woman in your life?

New Get Hot Woman Article - The Black Magic of Beauty

I found a very interesting site when I was looking around the Internet. It answers the question of what you get if you want to date a hot woman, but you're not seeing the same hot woman every time.

We all know that makeup can go a long way to helping a woman look beautiful, but did you know how much?

And do you know how your own desire to get a hot woman might be hurting you?

In this article, I cover over 12 images of women that you may have never seen before. Remember what you see to help you keep women off their pedestal, and to make sure you can get a hot woman - who has beauty that goes more than skin deep.

Go see this article here: New Get Hot Woman Article - The Black Magic of Beauty

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

Are you tired of being the low dog?

I am soooo beta..that I make other beta males look alpha. As a child my father would tell me that guys like he and I will never get the good looking girls or the top job positions so we should not even try. I know it is not true, and the tapes are helping alot, but I still have that screaming in the back of my head whenever I talk to someone.

Any recommendations to help with my lack of self esteem? Also, I noticed that most guys who do great with girls and business are not only alpha in attitude, but also have a head full of hair or if they are bald/balding are at least tall and muscular.

This question I know is dumb, but can a guy that is 5' 7", balding, but decent build also do well? Getting tired of people informing me that I am losing my hair or that I am short.
______________________
CARLOS XUMA ANSWERS:

Your concern is one that many other guys share, but we also know that this doesn't help you in your situation.

If you're like me, you don't care about the fact that you're not alone in your situation, you just want to FIX THE PROBLEM.

So let's do that...

With a little tough Alpha Love.

First off, you've been on an uphill battle for a while. You might want to consider hiring a professional to help you in your situation. Yes, a therapist.

Just choose well. There are a lot of quacks out there that would like nothing more to dig into your childhood for years and string you along with no results in sight.

(You'll find that the only kind of help you ever want to have in your life - from the guy who cleans your pool to the one that helps you get over some personal issues - is that he measures himself by RESULTS. NOTHING ELSE MATTERS!)

Get over the whole daddy issue as fast as you can. Yes, it sucks that he was a whipped dog, but now it's time to get past it and prove him wrong.

I suspect that you know what he said was logically incorrect, but emotionally you're having a tough time getting past it.

SECOND: Short is not an issue. Short is a state of mind.

Put some lifts in your shoes and get over it. I know a 6 foot 4 inch guy that uses a lift to gain another inch or two.

THIRD: Balding is not an issue. Bald is a state of mind. Shave your head, change your hairstyle, whatever, but get over it.

Ask women if they think Patrick Stewart (AKA Jean Luc Picard on the show Star Trek: The Next Generation) is sexy. I find that about 80-90% of women dig him. And his hairline is pretty much gone, baby, gone.

Now you said that you're tired of people informing you that you're losing your hair and that you're short.

Sorry, but somehow I can't picture you talking to a woman and she just says, "Hey, did you know you're short?"

I think what's happening here is that your oversensitivity to the topic has you locked in a death-spiral with your own self-image. She says, "I'm dating someone else right now," and you hear "You're short."

Look, if you think that all business leaders (and leaders in general) are tall with a bunch of hair, that is most certainly NOT true. Go online and look up the pictures of a great many of the presidents and CEOs of companies.

You're guilty of something that's called "emotional validation." What this means is that you have already formed an opinion (probably more like a belief at this point), and you only see the evidence that supports it. Because you need some excuse for why you are where you are with women that is NOT your fault.

Anyone can find any evidence to prove anything if you look hard enough.

It's time to start choosing a different viewpoint of life. I guarantee you that the guys who are short and balding AND successful with women (of which there are MILLIONS) - these guys do not sit around complaining about the hand they were dealt.

They just get out there and start putting down bets.

If you want to learn what this inner state is that they have, I'd suggest you CLICK HERE and go look at THIS.

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

Information Overload - How to Learn When There's SO MUCH Information...

Hey Carlos,

Here is a question for you, if you could address it sometimes in one of your newsletters. I am afraid that in your products and those of other companies there is just too much information for me to absorb (information overload).

How are we supposed to deal with that? How are we supposed to implement such a huge amount of info that we cannot retain? I know it's supposed to be reference material, but still... I want to know what info to implement first and get results soon and then maybe follow on with the rest if the need arises.

Thanks.

Sam
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CARLOS XUMA ANSWERS:

This is a very common question from guys, and, as usual, it's not as simple as it may appear on the surface.

I will have to say that getting TOO MUCH information in my program sure is a nice high-quality problem to have, don't you think?

After all, what's "too much" for you might be "just-right" for another. Or vice-versa.

So consider yourself lucky. :-)

First of all, let me toot my own horn here for just a second: You're getting more than enough information in my programs because I believe in giving you a dollar dance for only ten cents.

What I mean by that is that you get more value out of my programs than any other out there. I keep giving you great stuff for a long time afterwards, too.

(My system of getting better with women is a complete curriculum that will take you from start to finish. If you want more info on that, download my roadmap here...)

Yes, you could find yourself reading information on this topic for YEARS.

What is most important is to stop yourself from falling into the "paralysis of analysis" trap. It's up to YOU to find a starting point to review the material, and when you get to the first bit of information you can take action on, STOP THE AUDIO (or video) and GET YOUR BUTT IN GEAR.

You see, as much as I'd like to be standing there, looking over your shoulder, barking out orders like a military drill sergeant, I can't. I know you'd find that terribly motivating, but the reality is that no one will make you do anything after you've grown up and moved away from mum and dad.

Guess what?

It's up to you, now.

But you do have an ally here. I'll help you through those tough patches.

So when you find a bit of information that you can take action on, you start with that. As tempting as it is to listen to all the discs at once and get all that juicy information that I've crammed into every lovin' disc I make for you, you gotta stop yourself from pigging out.

Gluttony in information is as bad (if not worse) than gluttony with food.

If you pig out with food, eventually, you get stuffed and stop.

But when you pig out on the information, it starts to all sound the same, and you start getting that glazed over look in your eyes.

STOP the madness!

Because the more you read, the less likely you are to DO anything. You get trapped in that crazy spiraling madness that tells you:

"This is all so gooooood... if I just keep reading it, I feel like I'm accomplishing something... I don't actually need to go out and do anything, because it feels good just to be learning..."

And on and on it goes. You never actually get off your ass and get busy because you become ADDICTED (Seriously! It's an addiction!) to becoming enlightened and "figuring it all out."

You'll think there's just some little bit of perfect advice you're missing to be... PERFECT. You need to know it all before you go out there and use it, don't you?

You wouldn't want to make a MISTAKE, would you???!

I think you see where I'm going with this. I used to feel this way.

I know LOTS of guys that are in "pickup artist" rehab because of this.

It's time to get that information addiction monkey off your back. I designed my programs to take care of your problems so that you don't need to keep buying more and more of the same thing hoping for a "holy grail."

The answer to this problem is VERY simple...

It's unlikely that you can make significant changes in your life ALL AT ONCE. You need to take them slow and in bite-sized chunks. (There's an old riddle that goes: How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time.)

Don't try to implement them ALL at once.

Just implement ONE thing today.

And ONE thing tomorrow.

And the day after, and the day after.

In a year, you'll have added 365 new skills and strategies to your dating life.

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

Stuff Happens. Move On.

Hi Carlos,

I have been studying your materials for a couple of years now have had some good results when I can get myself out there and talking to women. I agree with what you say about confidence it is getting rid of all that stinking thinking and get on with what you are doing. Once that is out of the way most of the time I can attract a woman using my personality alone.

Broke up with my ex recently then met an American girl really got on well with her and she was a great kisser but she had to go back to America because she did some naughty things that got her chucked off her university course what a bad girl as I told her.

That kinda sucked but I moved on and have accepted that still always don't feel motivated for some reason and was beginning to lose all self discipline the other day which is completely unlike me.

I was going to meet a much older woman who was already married because I had no other options and didn't feel like going to meet women my own age not only did this go against my religion and principles but was wrong according to your teachings. I felt like I could not control my impulses not sure what to do it was a complete shock for me any thoughts on how to get over this?

C,
in the UK
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CARLOS XUMA ANSWERS:

Yes. It's going to sound deceptively simple, but it may not be easy.

Stop thinking about it. Just let it go.

In order to move on, you have to have something else to move on TO. Which means getting out there and distracting yourself with a bunch of activity.

Never defy your own values, but always question them if they don't seem to work for you.

And you already had the seeds of your solution in your question. You said, "have had some good results when I can get myself out there and talking to women..."

So if you have had some good results, get out and keep doing it! Stop thinking about all the negative crap that's piling up in www.YOUR BRAIN.com and just go DO.

That's why god made men, my friends. We DO. And women love us for it.

You need to get out and start meeting new, available women. You won't have impulse control problems when you're getting some options in your life.

Ya dig?

Best of luck!

- Carlos

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

This is the ESSENCE of Alpha Confidence

Carlos, what should be my alpha behavoir be when the girl I am with now, is driving me nuts by telling me one

night she loves me, the next morning she tells me I dont' think you are the right person, then she tells me you have be committed to be but the day after she tells she wants to check out other guys.

Now, I really want to cut her loose, but the sex is great and I want to have the last word or the upper hand, can you just in two lines tell me what to do? This is f..ing driving me nuts man. Should I just walk away without a single word?

Thanks

R.
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CARLOS XUMA ANSWERS:

Short answer: If you're compromising your sanity, your integrity, or your confidence for a woman, you're doing the wrong thing.

Get some air, get some distance, and get your head back on straight.

There are a lot of women that are good in bed out there. Go get one that doesn't play with your head.

She told you what she wants, now show her a man that can walk away.

If you find that you can't do this, then you certainly need some training.

Get it here...

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

Chemistry With Women

I've been wondering about something lately, Carlos, it's about the role of chemistry in the male-female interactions and I want to know what do you think about it.

I was reading something about the "science of romance" and they say that you are attracted the most to the female that is geneticaly "right" for you, that smells "right" for you and when she is ovulating.

Do you think that sometimes nothing happens betwen the male and the female who date, because there was no "chemistry", even if the guy is confident and knows how to act?
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CARLOS XUMA ANSWERS:

Absolutely...

You see, there seems to be a misconception out there that a guy can have ANY woman if he wants her, and it's just not true.

BUT you can raise your success level and ratios DRAMATICALLY by employing the strategies that I cover in my programs and here in my blog and newsletters.

There has to be a certain level of understanding that a lot of these science articles are also based on RATIONAL and LOGICAL methods, but don't always take into account the emotional side of the equation.

These studies ignore the fact that we are nudged by our biology, but we're PULLED and yanked around by our feelings.

Here's the ultimate test of chemistry: When you're horny, your selection process for a woman is nowhere near as strict as when you're not.

I'm sure there's a study out there somewhere that says those pheromone colognes actually work, but we all know that's just taking the easy road. (Oh, news flash: They don't really work. At least not in the way you think they might from the ads.) All the musk ox you can smear over your body is not going to attract you a high quality woman.

Being an Alpha Man, however, WILL attract her.

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

You Teach People How to Treat You

Heya. I got problems at work. I am the youngest at my workplace. I am very shy. The women at my workplace tend to sense that and they love to tease me or make comments when I pass by. They will make comments like small boy or stuff like that. Irritating stuff. How do I get them to back off. Or stop making comments?

Thing is, the more I ignore them the more they try to irritate me.
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CARLOS XUMA ANSWERS:

The problem really is that they can SEE that they're irritating you, and you're being beaten down like a Beta Dog.

You're not really ignoring them as much as you think or 1) they wouldn't do it, and 2) you wouldn't be writing me...

Welcome to the pecking order! You'll be challenged like this for your whole life, in some form or another. And it's not them picking on you that makes the difference in the results you get. It's the way you REACT to it that makes all the difference.

I can't teach you indifference in a blog post, but I can tell you this: It's time for you to start giving as good as you're getting.

What I mean is, you better turn the tables on them and become the guy that's teasing THEM.

Try this one on for size: "What are you, a bunch of cougars? Get out of here and go chase down some 80 year old fossil. You're way too old for me, anyway..."

Not with anger, mind you - but with playful fun.

Remember what I teach you in my Social Games program: You teach people how to treat you.

Whether you like it or not.

If you want to learn how to manage and destroy these games that people play with you, then you should go look at this...

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men