The New Year is almost here!

Well, before I get to this question, I wanted to let you know that I'm not posting as much due to being up here in Lake Tahoe, CA. I'm trying to finish up the year with a little relaxation and fun up here at the cabin. I hope you all have a great New Year... Be safe!

Also, if you weren't aware, Thundercat - AKA Joseph Matthews, has just given me an honorable mention in the "pickup artist" of the year awards. Cool, no?

And don't forget that I'll be on Frank Talks this week. I'm sending out the details in a newsletter, and you'll get to hear it if you use this link:



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QUESTION:

Sorry for sending in this "semi-spam", but I am writing to ask for your opinion about the recent James Bond Film.

You said in Supreme Self Confidence, "I think the ultimate example of a self-confident man is James Bond...there isn't a movie in that series that doesn't demonstrate how a man with impeccable self-confidence would act"

But if you've seen the casino film, you can see the new Bond turned beta. He crashes his car, got cheated by a woman, and make stupid mistakes. He is no longer an Alpha.

I am a James Bond fan and I agree with you that he is a role model for every man who wants to get laid... until this film.

What's going on? Is the female-dominating market starting to produce wussy heros that women find "cute"? Quote you again in the Dating Black Book, "If you've seen any of the old movies (Pre-1965), you'll notice how differently men are portrayed there." I have the feeling that we men are losing role models, both on the screen and in the real world. Why is the whole world feminized? Where are the all the alpha men?

Really hope to hear your opinion on this. Sorry if you have talked about it, I subscribe only very recently.

______________________
CARLOS:

I must disagree. I still stand by my original observation that James Bond is still the prodigal Alpha Man.

Even the new one.

Even MORE so the new one.

GASP!

Yes, he does make a few classical blunders in the latest movie, but what you have to remember is that this is a RETRO James Bond - how he is fresh out and licensed to kill.

(Warning: Spoilers ahead for those of you who haven't seen the movie.)

How many guys would have the stones to walk away from a hot woman who's ready to sleep with you just to satisfy his job requirements?

Most guys don't have that kind of abundance mentality. They'd risk their 'double-o' just to get some.

(There's a good lesson there. If you can walk away from an easy lay, you've got the right attitude.)

Yes, he does do the "tell her all about his feelings..." thing. Big whoop. He learns from his mistakes.

Did you hear what Vesper says to him when he's in the hospital? Something to the effect of "Your little finger is more of a man than anyone I've ever been with."

And he just looks at her with that steely gaze.

And as far as the woman that cheats on him - she didn't actually cheat on him. She actually fell for him. That's why she left her phone there for him to find. (They mention this in the movie.)

Yes, you're right. We are losing a lot of our Alpha Role Models.

One of the women I brought up here to our cabin in Lake Tahoe classified me as a "testosterone" man. I considered that a compliment. There are so many wussy boys out there that someone like me (and you guys) are a breath of fresh air to women everywhere.

Yes, I think the market is being manipulated by pandering to false image of what "manhood" is.

But I'm not here to whine or complain. I'm here to build better Alpha Men.

Do you want to be the kind of man a woman wants?

Get the Secrets of the Alpha Man....

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

50 mistakes women make in bed...

Here's an interesting blog entry on sex. It's a bit harsh, but it does point out some interesting things from an enlightened woman's perspective.

http://tweekerchick.blogspot.com/2006/11/so.html

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

Let's talk with Mario the Pimp...

Hey C,
I got a question and/or problem. Yes believe it or not, Mario the Alpha Pimp still has problems from time to time. Yes I'm a ladies man, and get called shady cause I'm a lot of ladies man....no seriously...

There is a warm contact. My friend from work and his girlfriend's friend Katie. We met at his house when he had us over for a house party. Nice. Was teasing his gf, and her friend the whole time, calling her a lightweight for bringing light beer. The 2nd time I ignored her and played games with my friends, even after in the kitchen she tried to strike up a conversation by asking if the food was good. I was short with her, but then at friends admonition went out and talked to her a little bit. We exchanged words on Myspace, and I was even invited to a party, but had to work.

But recently I decided I just had to take action. I'd been out of the game for a while due to not being emotionally available because of some issues at the time. And because I'd put on some weight and figured I want to get in shape first. So it was starting out bumpy as it always does when you haven't practiced your game in a while actually IN the field. For me it was congruence as follows:

She works at a supermarket near where I work, where I have the option of stopping by if I decide that I would like to shop on the way home. I stop there and notice she worked there. (Which I didn't know). I sent her a myspace message asking if she worked there, and she said yes and that I "should have stopped by and said hi." So the next week I stopped by, and we chatted. I bought some things.

And then I said, "It's been good talking to you, but I've got to get going..." and I turned from her and she said bye, but then I turned back and said, "You know we should get together sometime and do something." She agreed so I handed her my cellphone. But one big problem: MY HAND WAS SHAKING. Damn that sucked dude, and it ain't the first time it has happened. So she gave me the number, to her HOME, but here are the problems:

PROBLEM #1: MY HAND WAS SHAKING!! Ok what is this all about? My nervousness? I know I violated the R in R.E.A.L. How can I relax enough to do that without shaking. I've not yet conquered a club sober. I aspire to. Any ideas to help with this? It is also a problem she OBSERVED this.......

PROBLEM #2: When I told my friend that I had her number when he was joking telling me that he told her this weekend that I had a wet dream about her (that bastard), but claims he is just kidding. Dunno. It was because I told my friend I did have one of her, but he is distorting it. But he is saying he is keeping it a secret. That's not the problem. The problem is I heard from him that Katie told his girlfriend that I was NERVOUS when I met her.

Is this time to throw the towel in and move on to the next woman? I kind of did like her, but will go NEXT if it is time. Do I think it is? Not necessarily which leads me to one more question....

Since we've met like 3 times if you count the mini-visit at work....would I be still shooting for the same coffee meeting, or maybe to the first "date?" Is this the day I have to kiss her, presuming the nervousness thing hasn't all ready blown me out of the water. Thanks C for not being fake and keeping it R.E.A.L.

-Mario
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CARLOS ANSWERS:

First off, I want to point out something for all the readers:

NEVER put your game on "hold." For any reason!

It's tempting to go and give yourself an "out." An OUT is a reason to not do something that you make up - or even seems completely justified - when it's really just a COP OUT. Underneath the clever rationalization, it's just a fear that's getting in our way. The usual fears of being rejected or not living up to some pre-conceived image of ourselves.

Your game is ALWAYS on. When you allow yourself to have a switch, you'll never get the consistency and identity you need for doing approaches and talking to women.

There is NO SUCH THING as an Alpha Man on "hold."

Which is WHY your hands were shaking, Mario! Yes, you were nervous, but you were only nervous because you had been out of the game for a while.

Next time, just say, "Oh, damn, I've been drinking WAY too much caffeine."

Remember, NOTHING is a problem unless you MAKE IT A PROBLEM.

Capisce?

Nervousness isn't a problem if you ACT ANYWAY. Women will cut you some slack if you're nervous just because it's flattering. It's when you act nervous and do nothing that they look at you as truly pitiful.

Your other problem is your friend. You see, he senses your insecurity and is playing it off you. He's obviously picking up on your vibe of insecurity and using it on you.

Keep your mouth sealed about this girl around him. He's acting like a punk and trying to mess up your game so that you don't succeed or do better than him. (Guys can be really petty.) The more you engage him on this level is the more that you buy into his reality.

As for your question about what to do next with her, don't worry about the WHAT. Just get her out with you and having fun. Go out for drinks. Go out to a bowling alley. Just don't sit here in indecision and inaction while you figure it out. Call her up and tell her you're both going out on Saturday. Ba-da-boom.

Now for you guys that are looking to improve your game and learn the right Alpha Mindset, you should know that there is a path for you to follow. You don't have to go it alone, or wing it.

The reason most people never move more than a few miles of where they were born is FEAR OF THE UNKNOWN.

If you doubt the power of my programs, listen to what this student has to say:

"These products are the real deal! Carlos has an outstanding ability to cut through the confusion about women and nail the important facts. Once you can understand the way things really work, everything just flows.

"Carlos is a master at combining the right amount of humor to keep you laughing, info to let you know what's up, and wisdom to make you ponder. Say bye to "loser boy" and start living up to your potential as an Alpha.

"Thanks Carlos!"

Get the Secrets of the Alpha Man HERE

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

Understand the way of the Alpha Man

Mr. Xuma -

Let me start off by saying that I do not intend for this to sound like a cheesy commercial, but you need to know how much this means....

Im 20 years old and when I was growing up there was a lot of very negative things I experienced in life that to this day I know is the reason why I have been insecure/low self-esteem. I know a lot of it comes down to people making fun of me about certain things I did, some of it came from family members and some came from way back when I was in elementary school with certain females I found attractive when I was that young.

About a year and a half ago was when I finaly decided that I needed to really do something about myself, I was coming down from an almost 3 year relationship with a girl that started off as "just a friend." I literally was at the point in my life where I felt I needed to do something bad because I felt all kinds of negative emotions just started building up inside of me, so I decided to start reading books, mostly ones based on self improvement. All the ones I was coming across didnt have any information that I could soak up on and the majority of them were very complicated to try and understand.

Then about 3 months ago I came across your page and found a lot of the things you were saying that the E-book contained very interesting, but I was upset at the time because I didnt have a job so I couldnt afford it...Well just recently I started a new job and sure enough, the first thing in my mind was to save up for this once I had everything else I needed to take care of out the way.

I dont even know where to begin, the second I started reading it, I found myself taking notes on the pages that didnt even contain exercises just so I knew for a fact that the information will get put through my head and thats something all those other books I came across I have never done and for the record, I didnt even take notes that heavy in high school !

I mean the information you give is really something I cant believe and you do it in a way where its not "too" professional like, there were times when I literally started busting out laughing because of some of the ways you explain certain things. A lot of the things you explained that made me laugh were things like comparing the alphas with the betas and ill tell you the truth I've really seen situations happen like that with my friends where they let their girlfriend practically take over their relationship.

That's what makes this whole set (E-book Cd's) complete is that it covers how MEN should be period ! not just with females, but with their everyday life ! with that being said I finaly found out that the biggest enemy I've had all this time, was myself.

The bottom line is I really have no way to thank you and I know for a fact that the way I TRULY feel won't come across as good from me typing all these words rather than it would if I spoke to you about it in person. I know for a fact that THIS is the life I need to lead in order to be successful. I know its going to take some time, but I can honestly say I feel really good about having this product and I'm glad I finaly found the direction I need to be going, I'm already putting a lot of effort of trying to make these changes in my life and its only been 2 weeks since I've purchased it and I'm being real with you,

I really do feel a change, I know its not a complete change, but at the same time I know for a fact its slowly soaking up. I can now set a good example for my 2 younger nephews that are growing up....

Trust me when I say this, if we were in person I definitely would shake your hand and give you that pat on the back like a son does to his dad for showing him something new. Thanks a lot man !

______________________
CARLOS:

Thanks for the good word, my paduan... You're on the path to Alpha Manhood.

Understanding how this new state of being works is something that is difficult to put into words. When I went through this transformation myself, I found that it was a very unique and individual experience.

What I wanted to do with the Alpha Man program is communicate the core competencies of changing your life into something that would be worth living.

As Braveheart - William Wallace - said: "Every man dies, but not every man truly lives."

Chances are, you've been brought up in a single parent household, and that parent was probably your mom. Now, mom did a wonderful job raising you on her own, but one thing she could never be for you is a MAN.

I was lucky in that my dad didn't leave until I was 16, and by that time I was pretty well versed in the way of the Alpha. My dad was a hardcore Italian who took no shit from anyone. I inherited (and had to tame) his temper, but in the end I became the kind of guy that women want.

Most guys today are confused about this, and it's my job to get them back on track.

Attracting a woman is easy, when you understand how to communicate yourself as an Alpha Man.

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

Alpha Man lessons from a student - Watch out for those who try tosquash you!

I have been restarting the Alpha Man program and recently finished one of the exercises at the beginning concerning feeling subservient. One of the time I feel this way is when I am around this manipulative kid I fought and kicked his ass six years ago in high school. I still feel he holds this grudge against me for it, can you believe that? Six years!

Anyway, he is the type who can be a prick one minute and your best friend the next. He busts my balls when he's drunk, but I know for a fact there is more to it than meets the eye... like, that grudge.

So, in my exercise I wrote down that next time I would call him out on it in private. Last night, I did and was proud I did. But, he tried making this big deal of it, bringing our other friends into it, trying to make me look like the baby who can't take a joke. So, I ignored him the rest of the night and did my own thing.

I felt pretty good, but is this the type of change and reaction I should be experiencing from people as I re-become an Alpha Man? Honestly, I couldn't care any less if this guy ever talked to me again. Thoughts?

P
______________________
CARLOS ANSWERS:

I once read a bumper sticker that had me nodding in silent agreement:

Those who have given up on their dreams will try their best to discourage you from your own.

Never have truer words been spoken.

Yes, your friends will resist the positive changes you're trying to make in your life. It's not necessarily out of malice or ill-will, but out of FEAR.

Fear that you're leaving them behind.

Fear that they will have to face their own stagnant lives.

Fear that they will be alone.

All of it is fear.

The best way to handle this when they try to belittle you or manipulate you is to:

1) Ignore them

If that fails,

2) Let them know you see exactly what they're trying to do.

"Hey, I understand that my assertiveness is threatening to you, and you may feel like you need to try to manipulate me into conforming to your standards. But I can't do that. I've got a mission in life, and I really can't go along on that trip. If you'd like to be cool and friendly, I'm all for it."

Then move along to the next conversational topic. Don't get mired in a debate or argument.

And if that fails...

It's time to let that 'friend' move on to people he can control and manipulate. Let him go hold someone else back from their dreams.

This kind of guy is a poison to the Alpha Man. He's a manipulative toady, and you can't fly like an eagle when you're tied to turkeys like this.

The challenge in your situation is to not immediately discard your friendship, but to see if you can turn it around first. If that doesn't work, then you have to get back to your Alpha path to success.

If you don't have your own Alpha Man path planned out, let me help you.

Get the Secrets of the Alpha Man HERE.

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

Merry Christmas!

And Happy Holidays to everybody out there...!

- Carlos Xuma

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

Forgetting about her...

How about you tell me how to forget about my ex wife???

I've read your books and they're incredible, but what can you tell me getting over her?? it's been 8 months and it haunts me.
______________________
CARLOS:

First of all, it haunts you because you're still focused on her. You probably think about her a lot, and you dwell on "what was."

This is the first hurdle to overcome. You must shift your focus from the past to the future.

Do you have a compelling future?

Do you have a REASON to get over her?

I don't think you have a strong enough PURPOSE in life, one that will eclipse your need for another person.

To find that purpose, you need a PLAN.

You see most guys go through life without a real direction that PULLS them forward. Instead, they fall into a job, or they fall into a relationship, or they fall into a lifestyle...

And they never realize their full potential.

When you're seeking a new life after a woman that you've broken away from, you need to reclaim your male dignity.

8 months is nothing. I've heard of guys that don't let themselves get over a woman for their whole lives.

Key words: let themselves.


You need to find a new purpose and a new direction in your life. The best way to do that is to download the Secrets of the Alpha Man and get to work.

GET IT HERE.

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

Something you can learn from this email...

hey carlos i dont know what to say about ur products they are not good but they are....great! really let me confess....

well before using ur products i was a wussy guy crying for a decent girl to get married.as i dont know wat to do with the girls i was tottally frustrated by the use of the material that was available in the book stores...really it was all rubbish and believe me i have cried a lot for having a decent girl friend in my life it was pathetic and then suddenly a miracle has happened.

one day from google i have checked ur site and was totally skeptical whether ur material work on indian women or not? but i have no choice except trying ur products and sir believe me after trying ur products i have made 2 girl friends in a row who are just begging to have date with me and now a year has gone in using ur products and i am an alpha man....thanks a lot (tears in my eyes)

for ur favours may god bless u a long and peaceful life.

love

regards

S
______________________
CARLOS:

I appreciate the kind words. Great job turning your life around! THAT is why I created these programs. To show men another way to live - a BETTER way to live.

And, for once, I'm not using this letter to toot my own horn.

Well, sort of...

What I really want to point out here is something that every guy out there must resist. It's a temptation that seems to lure every guy under the age of 30 (and a great many who are over.)

What is it?

It's the call of the "IM-speak."

That's right. We're all starting to shorten our words and find any excuse to type less. As a result, all of our written communications are starting to look like a vanity license plate.

Please don't fall into this trap, guys. SPELL YOUR WORDS OUT!

Emails with shortened spellings make me feel like I have to have a decoder ring to figure out what is being said.

If you want to email your buddies this way, fine. But do not, under any circumstances, use these abbreviations (ur, 2 instead of "too", etc.) Your is spelled "Your" not "UR."

The other temptation is to not capitalize. Whenever the letter "I" is used, it must ALWAYS be capitalized. The first letter of proper nouns and the first letter of a sentence should ALWAYS be capitalized. (And the word "God" when used to designate the deity should also be capitalized.)

Why am I making a big deal out of this?

Well, it's because women are interpretive creatures. If you make a woman read into this, I'll tell you what interpretations she's going to make:

1) You're a lazy typer
2) Therefore, you're probably a lazy person
3) Therefore, you'll probably not put much work into your meetings with her
4) Therefore, you'll probably give up on the relationship and not put much effort in and you'll always be looking for short-cuts
5) Therefore, she shouldn't be very attracted to you.

Of course, this is very simplistic, and she won't necessarily make this deductive leap in words, but she will FEEL IT. And you'll be out of the game before you even started.

Spell out every word, no matter how long, if you're texting, emailing, or instant-messaging. Yes, I realize that it may require you to type, but that's a good skill to have.

Hey, it is nice to know that my techniques and strategies have been field tested and proven on Indian women. :)

In reality, what I teach is how guys can be better, stronger, more assertive ALPHA MEN. And that works with EVERY woman out there.

Learn how to be the Alpha Man by clicking here...

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

Getting into a relationship with a woman...

Hey Carlos,

I'm encountering a little problem that isn't very complicated, and neither serious, but it is blocking me from entering the relationship zone.

You see,I have no problem at all attracting women and keeping them interested; neither do I have a problem meeting women and such. But after this attraction has been built, and her interest has been taken to a higher level, I get completely stuck as to how am I to start a relationship.

In my side of the world, the East, where things are still somewhat conservative, how do I get a girl to be my girlfriend?

I don't want to take a rose and ask her to be my girl, no matter what her attraction level for me is. I think she would then get the upper hand from me and things would go nowhere, just as they were before I took the alpha path.

What do you think I should do?

Things are a tad different in this part of the world, and even though I agree that the attraction process is same everywhere, this transition process, from attraction to relationship, is a bit different here.

What is your take on this? What would you do to start a relationship with such girls?

I tried to let the attraction process go on, and get intimate with the girl, but it just doesn't seem to happen. I'm in a fix.

What do you recommend?
______________________
CARLOS:

I think you're attributing too much to the difference in cultures. You're not on Planet Altair IV in the Omega quadrant, after all. You're still on Planet Earth with the human race.

In the human race, we have women. And these women want relationships - when they're with a man they don't want to lose.

Read that last line again!

So the key to your strategy, if you want to start a relationship, is to first of all, continue to be an Alpha Man. That never changes. If you wuss out, you're flushed.

Next - you should see her a couple times a week, while still being the Alpha.

You see, the hidden secret behind starting up her relationship engine is simply to increase the FREQUENCY of your meetings. The more you see her, the more she'll slip into relationship mode.

The mistake I think that's being made is that you assume you have to actively change gears to get into relationship mode.

NOPE.

If a woman is attracted to you, her feelings are still crystallizing for you. The transition will occur naturally if you let it.

So don't try to directly manipulate the nature of the relationship. Just let it happen.

No, you don't have to bring her flowers. Although, it couldn't hurt to bring her an OCCASIONAL gift of some kind. Just as long as your actions say, "I'm doing this because I WANT to, not because I have to," you'll be fine.

As long as you keep being the MAN in the relationship and not let her lead you, everything should be great.

But also recognize that until she asks you about the nature of your relationship or tells you her feelings for you, you have nothing to say about the rest of your life or how you feel for her. She doesn't know if you're seeing other women, or what is going on. You are fun and exciting when you're with her, and practically a ghost when you're not around her.

Let her experience the full effect of the "dance" of attraction that I map out for you in the Secrets of the Alpha Man program.

That, my friend, is how you go into the relationship zone...

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

Have you ever heard of someone this wimpy before?

Hi Carlos,

My friends read your blog and even signed up for your newsletter

Your response has sparked a good discussion on the subject between my friends and I. It has been a month and a half now that my one friend who's a co-worker talks about his 'flame' every day for an estimated average of 30 min. More and more I find myself commenting that whatever he brings up doesn't matter, that it's details of casual communication and staying in touch that he spends far too much time thinking about.

Interestingly, from his descriptions, he consistently displays alpha behavior when WITH the girl. It's when they are separated that he gets into wussy mode towards his entourage and unfortunately also towards her on the phone and particularly by e-mail.

In one e-mail, he completely spilled out his guts to her about how frustrated he was with not being able to move forward with her as he'd like to and how he had already felt rejected in two occasions where he wanted to kiss her. How it was perfectly ok if she needed time to get over her ex, but uh, uh, uh, the rest of the email screaming the opposite: hold me, caress me, promise me that we will still be going out in 2007 - OMG!

Speaking of that, could you write something that clarifies how it's not always the best choice to communicate every feeling we have, especially negative feelings or wussy feelings, when we have them? Especially while there simply isn't a couple yet... The media and women complaining about men not communicating their feelings enough could lead some guys in the wrong direction.


J
______________________
CARLOS:

I hate to say this, but your friend is a complete wimp.

Of COURSE from his descriptions he's an Alpha. He's embarrassed that he's such a wimp that he'll tell you any story. Hell, he knows that if he were to say it out loud, even HE would recognize what a pussy he is. That's why he probably invents stories about how he "put her in her place," yadda yadda.

Your friend is also in complete denial.

Your strategy should be this:

1) Sit him down and have an intervention. This is where all of you confront him on his behavior in the hopes that by showing solidarity and support, and brotherly concern, you can wake him up from his sniveling existence before his ovaries pop.

2) Pry his wallet out of his purse (it's probably in the pocket next to his tampons and his birth control pills) and find the credit card that is NOT maxxed out due to him buying roses for her.

3) Go to my site and get him The Secrets of the Alpha Man.

4) Refuse to talk about his wimpy little relationship or her anymore. He's looking for more guys he can administer lethal injections of estrogen into.

Oh, and here's something else that will show him the power of this material.

5) Use a big black marker and write down "Your girlfriend will break up with you in the near future, telling you that she 'isn't sure where this is going' or that she 'needs some time apart.' She's probably even going to cheat on you."

Give this note to the bartender of the pub you frequent the most.

When this prophecy comes true, have the bartender pull the envelope out and read the note to him. Everybody chant "We told you so!" three times. Then ask your friend if he's ready to come back to reality.

I have never been more certain of anything in the last few days than what I see emerging in his pattern. She WILL dump him, guaranteed. (Unless he's rich, in which case, she will probably marry him and find herself a pool boy to live out her sexual fantasies with. And that's no indictment of women - I wouldn't blame her for it!)

As for the last part you said about it not being a good idea to communicate every feeling, yes, you hit it right on the head.

The guys that go around spilling their guts are doing that because they lack self-control, and they don't know how to manage their own emotions. They don't understand them, so they think that disclosure is a good idea. (Maybe they think it's therapeutic in some way.)

It's not.

It's needy, whiney, clingy, she-male behavior. Women look at this kind of behavior with disdain and contempt.

Men have feelings but we don't cry about them on every shoulder. We're MEN, dammit!

Grow a pair and learn how to be an Alpha Man. Before this happens to you.

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

Should you focus on your shortcomings to build self-confidence?

Hey Carlos, for a year I've been following your podcast and my friend even gave me the Secrets of the Alpha Man for my birthday last year. My interaction with females have gotten better I'm not buying drinks anymore. And I realize I'm enough and I dont have to buy a womans time.

However Im overweight and I think thats the only thing holding me back.. Should i just push this training and women to the side and wait til I have lost weight. And just dedicate a year to fixing that. I damn near wanted to give up last night. Need advice

______________________
CARLOS:

Great question!

Actually, I think putting any part of your life "on hold" implies that you are giving yourself an excuse to neglect a part of your life. This is based on the mistaken assumption that if we focus ALL our efforts on one area, we'll somehow get much better results.

This isn't quite true.

What happens is that we often burn ourselves out on that one thing rather than maintaining a healthy balance for all areas of our life.

What you stand to lose in "giving up" for a year to accomplish this goal (which you may never meet if you don't qualify, by the way), is that you'll lose your social edge.

Learning how to interact with women is a FULL-TIME, 'round the clock activity. You do it all the time because that's your IDENTITY.

Right now you're reacting from a feeling of discouragement rather than anything else.

Rule Number 1 for Alpha Men: Never make an emotionally motivated decision.

Stay out there, and stay in the mix. There are PLENTY of big guys that have fantastic success with women. It's all a matter of self-image. If YOU are OK with it, she will be, too.

There are a lot of women who love big Teddy Bear guys, and that's the way you should play it. A big guy has to lose the aggro edge and be an affable, friendly guy.

The only thing that's holding you back is your thinking. So take control of it!

Re-read the section on page 75 of the Secrets of the Alpha Man e-book and study guide where I cover overcoming limitations. Pay particular attention to what I say about your "physique."

But also read the next section on Self Confidence.

Get your copy of the Secrets of the Alpha Man program here... You can download the e-book right now.

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

Teddy Shabba Reviews Dating Dynamics Dating Black Book

I'm getting a sudden slew of reviews for my original e-book course, The Dating Black Book. This one just in from Teddy Shabba of Dating Advice Coach...

______________________

Too many books dealing with meeting and dating women focus on techniques instead of the basic fundamentals of what actually attracts women to men.

In fact this is the main reason why so many nice guys have problems actually getting any further than the first few dates with women and that's if they find the courage to actually use the techniques on women.

However, Carlos Xuma in his book The Dating Black book shows men the basic fundamentals of attracting and being successful with women.

The Dating Black Book starts off explaining the importance of actually improving yourself and building self confidence to attract women.

If you are looking for a sugar coated version of what it is going to take then this is Not the book for you.

After covering the different aspects of your inner game as well as how to build your self confidence, Carlos moves on to actually show you how to find a girlfriend or women for a long-term relationship.

Many times men have a tendency to get comfortable with a woman quite early and end up in a relationship they do not want and do not know how to get out of.

The Dating Black Book helps you understand what to look for in a good woman and what to watch out for in a Not so good woman.

To finish off the book Carlos quickly covers the basics on sex as well as some additional resources for men to read that will help improve a mans life in general.

Overall, if you have ever read anything that Carlos Xuma has written on dating and women then you already know that he has a lot of very useful information and knowledge to give men and The Dating Black Book will help you get even more of that information and knowledge.

I would highly recommend this book to the majority if not all Nice Guys or Recovering Nice Guys out there who are struggling with some of the concepts and techniques that other guys teach.

If you want to just be yourself and attract women then The Dating Black Book by Carlos Xuma is for you.

______________________

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

New review ...

James Brito of the site 000Relationships has a new review of my Alpha program up. Just thought I'd pass it along for all you guys that want a look at a fair take on my program...

Here you go:

http://000relationships.com/towomen/articles/be-the-alpha-man.php

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

Do you want to have success with online dating?

Hey, it's Carlos...

You know that I rarely talk about other guys' material out there, primarily because I have to know that the advice has to come from an authentic and honorable frame.

So many so-called "gurus" out there are giving guys trashy advice that actually lowers men's confidence. I only represent the most solid ideas and techniques for getting you success when you're dating women - as well as improving your entire lifestyle.

Well, I just sat down with my good friend Grant Adams and recorded a great interview that will be coming out in an upcoming program of his. I wanted to drop you a note right now to let you in on a new program of his that's just been released.

You see, Grant's information is a perfect complement to my own, since he covers a method in detail which I have used to great success over the years, and I want you to get the results I have, too.

This method is called ...

ONLINE DATING.

I often get questions about how to succeed with online dating, which presents a whole set of its own challenges...

When you're meeting a woman in person, you can use your voice, your body language, your facial expressions to communicate worlds of information.

But online, both in constructing a profile that is magnetic, and in your letters and IMs, it is all about the tool of language.

And there is no one better at making your language pierce to the core of the female heart than my friend Grant Adams. His Net2Bed Ebook arrived earlier this year with a bang. Grant combines a unique background in semiotics -- the art of sending signals -- with years of high level marketing writing. Additionally, as a successful Hollywood writer, he's written enough Lifetime and other women's movies that he, in his words, "can now ovulate on command."

The man knows women and more importantly, knows how to awaken their sensual inner selves with nothing but language.

His success in alluring women online reached a high point when he was selected by the star of an ABC television dating show to join her on the show - solely on the strength of his profile. They had never met, nor did he ask for it. But she scrolled through hundreds of profiles and exclaimed "Damn!" on national TV, "who's THIS guy?"

Grant's book is specifically designed to get YOU that "Damn! Who's THIS guy" reaction to your profile. Most guys' profiles are just dead words, invisible, skipped over by women time and time again. His system, by contrast, will teach you how to stand out online in every possible way.

Some the techniques he teaches include:

* How to subtly Create Trust so she moves towards you (rather than those other clunky guys online) with confidence and speed

* How to invite Her into a "dream state" about you with suggestive and imaginative imaging of your life, your sense of purpose and service

* How to embed sexuality without sex, through the use of sensually awake language so that SHE mentions sex first

* How to combine Electrically Contrasting Signifiers that will create an alluring puzzle she just cant let go of

* How to identify and "sing" to her idealized self, in a way that 99% of guys wouldn't know where to begin

* How to employ key emotional trigger words that most guys don't know, much less know how to use.

The list goes on and on.

Grant just updated his Net2Bed-Net2Wed ebook and recorded a new audio edition that is like a fat ring of magic keys to attracting women online. When I heard about what he'd done, I made a special arrangement with him that you've just got to check out - an offer better than he'll probably ever offer again.

Plus, I got him to give away part of the system to you for nothing. He's going to give to you -- just because I've referred you -- a copy of his "How to Read a Woman" teleseminar so you can discover how to find the hidden nuggets of information buried in a beautiful woman's profile.

It's a $37 recording, but yours FREE -- only IF you go get it right now.

Go see it HERE.

He's pulling the offer in less than a week, but I don't know exactly when. I think he's got a limit for how many he'll be giving away for free, and once he reaches it, the offer -- and the free teleseminar -- are gone.

Just make sure you get it now so that you don't get upset later.
:)


- Carlos Xuma


P.S. One other thing you should know. . . whether you've been dating online for a long time, or have never visited an online dating site, Grant's system can improve your game. For every one girl in a bar or at a party, there are thousands online who are there to meet guys like you . . . IF you know how to stand out online.

Net2Bed/Net2Wed will show you how.

CLICK HERE

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

Instant Messaging looks weak...

Carlos,

I know what you say about how often you should call a girl, but what about instant messengers such as MSN and AIM? How often may I talk to a girl on these?

______________________
CARLOS:

Use your common sense, and apply the PRINCIPLES in the Dating Black Book to this. You want to draw out the tension (for her, not for you.)

Think about what SHE will think:
If you’re on IM, you’re not a really busy person. You’re sitting at home on a computer.

Wow.

What a catch.

You see what I mean?

Get out there and meet women in real life instead... It's much more satisfying and effective. Don't use technology as a crutch for doing the real work of approaching and talking to women.

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

How do you tease?

Hey Carlos,

... just got the Dating Black Book..good stuff..I have been trying lots of your stuff out and it really is working. For Example...Less is more. Don't hang around the women too much it is better to be off doing your own thing..This works!!! Also, the cell phone stuff... This works great..

To Tease to please..This has been hard for me..I was at a party over the weekend and I really needed to bust this girls chops. I kept looking for an opening but could not find one. The girls has to screw up so you can bust her balls...Well...she never did in front of me..between my cruising around the party and coming back talking a little then off I go..cruising around..and coming back..I was just locked in frustration...

The date b4 this one I was busting her balls and it was working great..but I nailed her everytime she messed something up...I am looking for ways to start this.. I have this mental block..like I cannot do it..but I know I can..I just need some practice or something to get me started or some examples. I have not found too many examples... I just need to find the rhythm.


Thanks for your great work.

Chris
______________________
CARLOS:

These examples come from real life. You just need to make an exercise of finding a way to tease people based on ANYTHING at all.

It's really not very hard. All you need to do is think about how you used to behave on the playground as a kid.

You don't need to wait for a "screw up..."

You just have to make your opportunity.

If she's standing there waiting for her drink, you can look at her and say, "Don't tell me, Vodka martini, shaken not stirred. Or the other way around when you're feeling moody."

Or she says something about her niece:
You say: "Okay, c'mon. Let me see it."

She'll say, "What?"

You say: "The picture of your niece you carry with you. I know it's there."

The best way to learn is to watch a lot of movies that have good Alpha Role models.

Teasing is simply finding something about them that you can put in a humbling/human perspective.

Not to humiliate or make a person feel bad, but to give them a new way of looking at things that gets rid of pretense.

"You're going to University of Washington? Oh, boy. You're one of THOSE girls..."

"If you liked THAT movie, I bet you also like those goofy scary movie comedies, too..."

"If you drink that water any slower, it's going to evaporate before you're done..."

A poke in the ribs and a smile. The recipe to a great energizing interaction.

If you want real life verbal examples of this, you need my Approach Women NOW program, with various examples of how to keep the banter going in conversations.

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

How do you defend against pickup artists that hit on your girlfriend...

Carlos,

I've been dating a women now for about 5 months and all the while enjoying myself by using a lot of the methods in your program. We were out with some other friends and a guy in the group that I had just met seemed pretty cool. I could sense that he possed some of the Alpha traits and we hit it off pretty well. However, I began to notice he started to crack a few chop busters on my girl.

I used the Cock Blocker routine and that fired him up and he started to have a little temper tantrum. But after a while, he calmed down and snuck one in on her again; and this time managed to jack up her sexual tension and she smacked him on the arm...

Here's my question: after studying your material; I knew exactly what was happening in front of me. How do I handle this without being wimpy or jealous? Do I call her on her behavior based on my new found expertise on social interactions?

Keep up the great work; your program has changed so much about how I view things now.

______________________
CARLOS:

First of all, when a man reacts with anger, that's your opportunity to really shine. If you're savvy in communication, you'll be able to de-fuse these lit bombs and laugh while they sputter and wheeze into a pile of ash.

The first thing you never do is react to his anger, which it sounds like you managed.

Here's something that is so counter-intuitive that most guys will never use it: the best way to keep a woman is to push her into the arms of another man. The more convincingly you can demonstrate your detachment and lack of jealousy, the more likely you will keep the woman you have.

I regularly push women I'm seeing toward guys that hit on them. It's fun! And it's an exercise for me to stretch my awareness and self-control.

REMEMBER: We do not control ANYONE in this world - except ourselves.

We cannot control anyone's feelings.

But we can INFLUENCE them.

You ask me how to handle this without being wimpy or jealous, and it's pretty obvious that this comes from your inner beliefs. If you had ten women calling you every week, and you are regularly flirting (not necessarily being unfaithful, mind you), you would not have a jealous (insecure and scarcity) mindset.

You're already on the right track. You just need to review pages 313-315 in Secrets of the Alpha Man - the section on jealousy. It's a realization that you must come to from within.

To learn what this guy did about getting women and keeping them, you need to learn the SECRETS.

Get them here...

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

Field report from a reader, and a question about the X-factor...

Hi Carlos,

I have been in a self-imposed bootcamp, soaking up DD, Alpha-Male and other pundit's stuff for four months now. Professionally, I am a motivational speaker, specific to the recruiting industry (I'm an unabashed Headhunter).

You teach the stuff that I teach, but on a party level. Your need-hierarchical-recognition stuff has enabled me to almost attract on demand, BUT, I hit a strategic wall this weekend.

One of my clients, a Fortune 100, energy company, invited me to their company Christmas retreat, all-expenses paid. I knew that there would be gaggles of easy targets there, but I swore to myself that I would not "shit where I eat" this time. However.. One of the sales girls brought her girlfriend, a 8.7 23 yo blonde with 36dds, and NO affiliations to anyone.

I was seated next to her at the main dinner, and all of the conversation was centered around their company. She was so bored that she just started IM'ng anyone that would respond. I isolated her, Cubed her, and then turned away until the meal came. She would not only not stop talking at me, but she started hitting me on the arm.

The ceasar salad was REALLY garlicky, and after I told her that if she touched me again, it would cost her $30, I turned on her, dilated her pupils, and said "I'm glad that this salad is so raunchy. It really narrows down my kissing options for the night (she was having soup). She grabbed my fork, ate a huge bite and said "now you don't have to worry".

I know, sounds easy right? Wrong. I was sitting with the regional director, his wife, several other client employees, and her best friend was boring a hole into my head with her glare. I focused on the friend, gave her a cognitive dissonance paradox solution to her main sales objections at work, and then she invited EVERYONE to another bar, just up the road, but made a point to tell me that I was cool and she was cool with "it".

35 employees went to this bar and my target was basically smothered by shields from then on, until she got too drunk, and was safely escorted home.

I CAN'T fuck up the account ($3k a day and climbing), and I was a virtual saint throughout the weekend, but I know that there was a way to win that one. I just missed it. I need a Master's spin on this one.

Any suggestions?

______________________
CARLOS:

You're working at cross-purposes.

What I mean is that you know that this account is important, and you're still letting the little head think for the big head.

Get your priorities straight. If the account is absolutely a priority, let the 23 with the double-Ds go. Ain't worth it, dude.

You had a cockblocker working against you, too.

BOOM. Strike 2.

Sounds like you turned it around, but you didn't manage the crisis in advance. The key here was to BE one of her shields at that bar. Highly attractive women are vulnerable, and

You did a good job with the initiating, using your skills, driving up her interest.

But nothing is for sure until it's all signed, sealed, and delivered.

But let's be honest... we could mentally masturbate about this all week and never come to a real conclusion. Any theory is valid. The reality stands on its own.

Close only counts in horseshoes and hand-grenades, as they say.

Don't beat yourself up over it. Even the BEST of the BEST don't get them all. The key is how quickly you can move on.

Can you move on?

How soon?

That's all the sooner you get to the next one that works.

And keep business and pleasure separate. You'll be happier that way.

THAT is how the Alpha Man saves it...

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

Should you ever tell a woman you're sorry?

Carlos -

First off, I'd like to say I love the programs. I was originally very hesitant on purchasing anything like your programs, especially online, but I've discovered your tips and tricks about being an Alpha Man to be very insightful, and has thoroughly improved my relationships professionally, socially, and romantically.

However, you have not addressed what I have found to be an unusual variable in recent relationships. I'm a beat reporter for a newspaper in Texas in a town of about 100,000. I've been seeing a girl I met who lives in a town about 25 minutes away in a town of similar size.

There's another girl whose phone number and email I got who lives almost an hour away. I'm more interested in the girl who lives further away, and we've been conversing via email a bit, but I'm finding it difficult to keep coming up with ways to "be in the area," with either girl, because it seems to me that it reeks of desparation if I just volunteer to drive up to see either of them for coffee or lunch. I also work 5 evenings a week (till about 10:30), so lunch is often my best recourse during the week.

Secondly, I haven't heard you address apologizing really at all. Obviously, there are going to be times when you screw up and need to apologize for something.

As a reforming nice guy, I'm consciously attempting to figure out when I need to stand my ground and not apologize, but when I need to do so, I was wondering what the strategy for that might be. Apologies in general stink of comforting a woman or trying to seek her approval, so it's dangerous territory, but there are obviously times you need to be a man and admit when you're wrong.

I'm looking for guidance in both these matters. Thanks...

J.C.
Texas
______________________

CARLOS:

If I understand you correctly, you're asking how to date a woman that's not in your area, but being careful to not look 'desperate.'

Here's the first step: Don't try too hard to appear aloof. It's not nearly as effective as a lot of the other 'gurus' out there would have you believe.

You need to make a decided gesture of interest on your part to get this thing started.

Simply call her up and say, "You know, we need to get out and have some fun. What night is good for you?"

Ba-da-bing, baby.

Go meet up with her, show her some fun, use the strategies and techniques in the Alpha Man program to build attraction, and then make it clear that you're not going to be her 'friend.' Get a kiss.

Now you've got a reason to be out in her neighborhood, don't you? It's to see her. And the second or third time, she'll have to come see you.

One girl I was seeing sat in 3 hours of traffic for me to get over to my place. THAT'S how I knew she was into me. And I rewarded her nicely when she got to my house for proving her devotion.

As for apologies, absolutely. Guys should apologize for stupid, lame-ass, loserboy behavior.

But the issue is understanding HOW to apologize. If you do something that seems to necessitate an apology, give it, but MOVE ON.

The most common problem for human beings is the inability to LET THEIR EMOTIONS GO.

They attach themselves to emotions as if they are worth IDENTIFYING WITH. As a result, they're only as good as their last emotional reaction. (Test this out on a 3 year old and you'll get what I mean...)

So once you've handled that little error in judgement by apologizing fast and firm, just keep going and don't let it affect your confidence. Again, guys most often start to lose their Alpha Power when they feel they may have made in error. Suddenly their whole life is called into doubt.

LET GO!

That's the secret here.

Just make sure you don't question your self-worth just because you made a little boo-boo.

This attitude is tough for a lot of guys to understand, that's why I outlined it clearly in the Secrets of the Alpha Man.

Think of it as your Encyclopedia Alpha Man.

Click HERE to read more about it...

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

How to win a girlfriend back... when you get your confidence back.

Carlos, I've been listening to your podcasts and reading your blog for over a year now. A question I have for you is this: what advice to you have for good looking guys who have troubles with women? I ask because I once fell into this category, but fixed it to a good extent about a year ago, based a great deal on the advice you give.

Of course it comes down to a lack of confidence. Yet even now, having been in the same relationship for over a year, I find that my confidence is sometimes higher and sometimes lower, and I take steps to correct it when it drops. I ask for advice on what, if anything, good looking guys must do differently, much for myself but also for my friend. Women I know find him very attractive, and he sometimes finds a woman by the end of the night, but overall he is dissatisfied with how he does, and having been there, I feel for him.

I relay much of what I read from you, but I'm wondering if it takes something different. Confidence, acting immediately, focusing on several rather than one person (a big problem in this instance), framing himself in a "test her" mindset – these are all tips I give. I once read either from you or David D'Angelo that very good looking guys must cut back on the "cocky and funny" lest they intimidate or actually insult the woman, coming off more easily as arrogant. Do you have any thoughts on these matters?

By the way, I am a great evangelist of yours. By following your advice to "be a real man" – gaining and expressing deep-seated confidence – I was able to win back my girlfriend over a year ago, after several months of on-and-off, and overall very beta behavior on my part.

Now I know that you say it's a bad idea to expend energy on one you lost, but the ironic (and obvious) thing was that once I became my own man, not hers, and exhibited a true alpha mindset, that things have worked out quite well ever since. I believe that when both people know they have options, yet choose the one they're with, the relationship is founded on a very rare level of confidence that makes things just great. It keeps attraction high on both sides and maintains the chase, which in many relationships ends fairly quickly.

I still read your material to perform maintenance on myself and my relationship, making sure I don't fall into the whipped category with my girlfriend, or into the beta category with my male friends. Perpetual thanks for the advice!

- Mike
______________________
CARLOS:

First of all, what you say at the end is what I've been saying all along, and it's nice to hear it from someone who's actually taken the advice:

"Ironically, if you are to ever stand a chance of getting her back, this is the only way to do it. Only by demonstrating the ability to get on with your life will she ever find you attractive again."

And there it is, in black & white.

You used the advice and strategies in my programs and you got results. You got her back.

I've done the same with women in the past. It was a path I had to travel to learn my own power as an Alpha Man. But most of the time you'll hear me recommend that you don't get caught up in winning a woman back because guys tend to lose their posture when they do it. They do it to "get the woman," not to "improve as a man."

BIG DIFFERENCE.

Now, on to your question about how to handle things if you're a good looking guy.

Yes, you must realize that looks DO make a difference, but not in the way that you might think.

Most intelligent women over the age of 26 believe that a good looking guy is a "player." (Even younger women are conditioned this way, but they get over it faster.) That is something you have to get past right away, and it does hold you back. So, ironically, you're better off being average looking than really good looking.

The best approach for a good looking guy is to be VERY down-to-earth. Be cool, but lay off the cocky behavior. Anything even remotely cocky will be looked at as arrogant. And it's much easier for a good looking guy to overdo it and over-qualify himself. The woman gets such a strong "vibe" from him that she gets intimidated and disqualifies herself.

She already knows your looks give you a genetic edge over the competition, but now she needs to know you're a TRUSTABLE guy. Not a 'player.'

For those of you out there reading this right now that aren't good at calibrating to this "Alpha Man" ideal, I have something that you will find LIFE-CHANGING.

You don't have to go to one of my bootcamps.

You can simply just get the home-study course of the same Alpha Immersion program I use to train my students (and instructors) in the field.

It's my latest DVD product, and I just got some in stock this week.

Again, the reality is that if you're only reading the newsletters or listening to my podcast, you need more. It's like meeting up with a group of people who just attended to a seminar, and you can sort of understand what they're discussing - BUT you don't have the same foundation they have from attending.

Take a look at the Alpha Man Immersion Program HERE.

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

The Definition of "N.I.C.E."

An Alpha student (thanks, Das) sent in this great definition that I wanted to share with you...

"The word "nice" is often misundersooood by many current, former, and recovring nice guys. Here is my definition.

N = needy
I = insecure
C = self-concious
E = effeminate

Here are the definitions for those of you that want to explore why these are undesirable in a man:

needy = http://encarta.msn.com/dictionary_/needy.html

insecure = http://encarta.msn.com/dictionary_/insecure.html

self-conscious = http://encarta.msn.com/dictionary_/self_conscious.html

effeminate = http://encarta.msn.com/dictionary_/effeminate.html


Stay away from "NICE."

Get more ALPHA.

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

Are you a nice guy that falls in love too quickly?

Hi Carlos,

I have a question on behalf of my two best friends and that is: how can they avoid falling in love too quickly? Or perhaps, how can they fall in love in a way that does't eliminate their chances of even getting into a relationship by reverting them to complete AFCs?

I don't know what to tell them as I don't have this problem myself, but they certainly keep nagging ME about it! Somehow I am supposed to know the answer since I happen to be in a great relationship with a great girl and not the least of reasons I got there is because I did not allow impatience to sabotage myself early on!

I really hope that you can help me. Just telling someone to be patient when they're not is not enough. What steps can get them there?

We are talking about high value guys whose lifestyles allow them to constantly meet new girls. Some girls are regularly attracted so they have options that they sometimes use as well (well one almost always and the other almost never:o)

The problem is with those girls that THEY want, they're almost instantly in love with. Of course, you know the symptoms of that. Going nuts when there is no response to an e-mail within 2 hours, constantly rethinking everything one has said and done, constantly thinking on what BEST to do next, constantly worrying they are going to "screw up", etc. all the way down to helplessness in the face of knowing that their behavior is not expedient.

I kid you not, one even postponed a job interview because he couldn't wait to see a girl he hasn't even kissed. It's ridiculous.

J
______________________
CARLOS:

Ugh...

I shivered when I read that last sentence. I've known guys that thought this way. Hell, I'm guilty of putting my life on hold many times for a woman.

NEVER a good thing to do in the early stages. Or even later.

The process of correcting this behavior you talk about exists, but it's much too detailed to cover here.

There is a certain group of guys (sometimes referred to as the "sensitive" type), who tend to fall in love easily. They are quick to let their emotions go wild.

It seems like acceptable behavior, until you feel the sting from the women who reject you because you're coming across as too 'needy.'

Men, by nature, do not have the same emotional makeup as women do.

We're not supposed to. It's part of our gender roles.

But, frequently, you'll find men and women that have stronger energy of the opposite sex. Men who are more "yin" (female energy), and women who are more "yang" (male energy.)

What do you do?

Well, the first thing is to realize that from the inner perspective of a 'sensitive' guy, he feels this is the way he "is." He sees it as a core part of his identity, and cannot seem to rein in the emotional horse.

It boils down to SELF-DISCIPLINE.

You must develop the ability to CONTROL your impulses. Too many guys are running around like emotional loose cannons out there, using the lame excuse of "I just couldn't help myself."

Bullshit. You just didn't want to man up and put the hanky away for a little while.

Hey, being an Alpha Man isn't always easy. It requires strength and resolve.

But it's WHAT WOMEN WANT.

The solution for this problem is to take control of your inner game and confidence. It's a path that ANY man can choose to take if he wants.

But like the joke goes, you have to WANT to change. If you're just a wuss seeking validation, go haunt your therapist. They'll gladly let you cry on their shoulder for $200 an hour as they regurgitate your tortured childhood. (As if that is REALLY what's stopping you right now.)

I created a solution that any man can use. It's the Secrets of the Alpha Man. And you can point your friends to it HERE.

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

Alpha Man Success story - and a question...

Carlos, I come bringing good news! It may have taken me awhile ... for your stuff to really sink in but I have to tell you I am seeing good results now. I'm at the point now where girls are asking ME out and I'm all the one doing the choosing on if we get a 2nd date or not. I was on the other side of the fence for awhile and it wasn't fun always seeking a womens approval by kissing up to her. I'm glad those days are over.

I had a date yesterday with a girl who wanted to take me horse riding and noticed that I was in complete control of the situation by being confident, not caring what happened and not going in with a planned agenda, and laying on the C&F for spice. She was starting to seek MY approval and if I let the date carry on anymore chances are I could of had sex with her (She was dropping some pretty BIG hints).

Your teachings/advice gave me a new perspective of things as well. Im no longer one of those guys who desperately seek to get into any decent looking girls pants. I'm now the supply rather then the demand. So i'm not going to have sex with just anyone. The girl I went horse riding with was damaged goods and had a few issues I didn't want to put up with. She was good looking but any alpha man sets his sights a little bit higher then just a pretty face.

My success story comes with a question: Now that i'm in control of my dating situation and I set my bar a little heigher then most guys a small handfull of beta's have actually called me a wuss for not wanting to get into the pants of every good looking girl I meet.

How would you react to this if it happened to you?

______________________
CARLOS:

YES! This is what it means to persevere and get the results.

It's not just about attracting and dating women, as you're finding out. It's about creating a successful LIFESTYLE that starts you thinking bigger and achieving more.

I love a good success story like this. I get so many of them, and it never gets old to read.

Now, as for your question, I'd have to fire one back at you:

What does it matter to you if your 'friends' (sound a bit like jealous chumps to me) approve of your new life of abundance?

Why would you listen to Beta boy opinions - or even dignify their ignorant comments with a response?

Be careful about your peer group. Their expectations and pressure will be a big limiting factor in your life.

I'll tell you what I would do if my friends were giving me a hard time - I'd treat them just like any woman that tried to hold me to lower standards:

"Well, maybe YOU would jump in her pants, but I have standards. When you sleep with ANY woman, you're telling yourself that you're not choosy. You'll take anything that comes along just to satisfy your noodle. Not me. I've got enough opportunity that I don't need to take everything that comes my way. Have you ever asked yourself why you don't set standards for yourself? Why do you think this is?"

You're not the one to defend yourself, HE is.

Being selective sends a good message to your nervous system. It reinforces healthy self-esteem.

Most guys don't have standards. They'd jump on anything that moves. And as a result, they get the women that suit that kind of mindset.

Remember that getting laid is actually pretty easy. The real trick is channeling that reckless sexual energy into Alpha Power that will get you ahead in life. (And get you the genuinely attractive women, not just the 'pretty faces.')

Stay true to your path. And stay away from the people who would make you feel bad about what you know to be right.

That's the most powerful statement of the Alpha Man.

- Carlos Xuma
Strength & Honor

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

First of all, stop the begging...

Dear Sir,

I am a 28-year old Nigerian chap in dire need of your profound insights on the dating scene to enable me break out of the rut of my dateless existence.

I work in one of my country's biggest banks located in a university town and my job affords me the opportunity to meet on a daily basis hot female students from the university close-by. However, I almost always never get to make anything out these encounters as I am always afraid of blowing it once I open my mouth. So I just act cool and laid-back and go home to rue missed chances.

However there is this one girl that I feel I have a connection with that I need your help on how to proceed with. She's a student of chemical engineering in the university, and I first noticed her like over a year ago in the banking hall. Initially, as usual, I played it cool and pretended I wasn't interested.

Later on, I summoned courage to show some casual interest. First, I surprised her on one of her visits to the bank by wishing her a happy birthday. She was shocked I knew of her date of birth and asked how I came about it. I first said I got it via magic, but later said it from her biodata in her file in our records. That single incident significantly advanced our 'association.' However, I have not really been able to capitalize on it as I haven't yet been able to ask her out.

Sir, I am fed up of living in this rut and the misery it causes me. What has really broken the camels' back is the fact that another guy in my office who is noted for his 'women skills' seems to be aiming for her too. In your professional opinion how do you recommend I handle this situation?

Sir, I am prepared to pay any price for your opinion. Please help sir. Please.

Yours sincerely,

J. O.
______________________
CARLOS:

First off, please don't call me sir. My dad didn't even make me call him "sir." I'm just your friendly neighborhood dating advice guy, changing the world one Alpha Man at a time. Thankyouverymuchhhh.

Secondly, Stop begging! Your email sounds like a wussy cry of help from the wussy headquarters where all the Super-Wusses hang out.

Third, there's some good news in your email. You've reached rock bottom.

Most people think this place sucks, and they're both right AND wrong.

You see, most significant change in your life will come from when you've reached the point of total disgust - when you bottom out. Because now you have something to push off from - the bottom. It doesn't get any worse, so it can only get better.

This is the point of ultimate enlightenment and decision. If you make the right choice (to change your behaviors, to work for what you really want) you'll get it.

But if you make the wrong decision, to cave in and admit defeat, you'll drown in a pool of your own self-pity.

I recommend you get off your ass and start taking ACTION in your life. Right NOW.

You took the initiative and learned some information about her (which might have been creepy, but you made it work) and then you took it to the next level of going to see her.

As Tony the Tiger would say, Grrrrrreat!

Now what?

It's time to get up the stones to contact her on a more personal level and get together with her outside of work. You need to ESCALATE. That's one of the key Alpha Man skills that many men never really get.

But you also need to get out and MEET MORE WOMEN. Don't put all your hopes on this one woman, because if it doesn't work out, you're going to lose a lot more emotional money on this one stock. Instead, spread your investments out a bit. This is called "hedging" and it works for dating as well as money.

Lastly, my professional opinion is that you ABSOLUTELY need my Secrets of the Alpha Man program. If you want to "pay any price," why not the price of education and self-improvement?

It's going to be a lot better than crying into your pillow or whining about being unable to get a date, or wanting to do something but not knowing WHAT to do.

There's an old saying: Everybody wants to get into heaven, but nobody wants to die.

When you read the e-book and listen to the program, you'll KNOW what to do next.

Get the Secrets of the Alpha Man.

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

Another Alpha Man Gets it...

Carlos,

I would like to personaly thank you for creating this book and being an expert on "Alpha Men". I am currently reading you ebook, "Secrets of the Alpha Man", and I am loving all of it. I have read some other ebooks in the past that actually have a lot useful information in them, such as David Deangelo's books and the latest book by Simon Heong (which is how I found yours).

But those books only taught great techniques and things to do when picking up a women. However, yours gives a complete guide to the alpha male attitude. I now have a basis that I can start form, and can combine the information I've gotten from the books. I can already tell a difference in how women perceive me just by the way I act, walk, and talk now.

Just the other day, after I started walkin and talking confident, I was sitting in class and just asked a pretty attractive girl who had never spoke to me before what chapter of the book we were on. She told me and then I kept noticing glancing over at me periodically throughout the remainder of the class. Then two days later, her and one of her friends came over to my dorm room ininvited. They just said they were bored lol!!!

But man I can't thank you enough for what I'm learning, and I'm not even halfway through the book yet.

Thanks,
T in VA

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men