Energy lost....

Carlos,
 
once in a while I will reply to these because I thoroughly enjoy reading them for one. Number two is that I like to briefly respond to an issue I will be going through as I trek through my new path. Carlos, I have a problem. When I am good, I'm really good with talking to girls.  But I get in these phases where my energy is on the low side and don't feel like approaching a girl when the opportunity arises.  I was with two of my friends at StarBucks tonight and a gorgeous girl is standing at my right in line.  
 
I could sense her IOI of me, but I just didn’t feel that energy to look to my right and say,  "have you ever tried"  blah blah!  I SHOULD HAVE.  How do I get over this low energy,  or get myself charged up to do it when the opportunity presents its self?  I've missed lots of chances because of it.  
 
Thanks Carlos,  Dave   
--------------------

CARLOS:

This touches on a VERY important topic.

When we talk about "energy," what we're really saying is MOTIVATION.

Without motivation, you are stuck. You have to be able to get yourself to act.

Now the flipside of this situation is that you might have some motivation, but it's the negative kind. It's call the FEAR OF FAILURE.

Every guy has it to a degree. But it's a question of WHICH motivation will win: The motivation to just SAY SOMETHING, or the negative motivation to listen to the voice in your head that says you can't do it.

You'll either listen to Obi-wan, or Darth.

This is not something I can cure in a simple blog post. What you must do is dive into your own universal motivators and discover what it is that gets you to do what you know you must do.

This was a pressing issue for me when I held my Alpha Immersion workshop in March of this year. I knew that guys knew WHAT to do, and they'd get at least a little success if they would just do SOMETHING.

But how do you get them to DO it?

One way is to sit down and really break down the thinking that you go through at one of those moments. Be REAL with yourself. Don't Lie to yourself about the things you're experiencing.

Every guy runs into these moments of low energy and motivation, or we succumb to our negative inner voice. The point is how we manage those moments.

Remember, the most important skill I teach you is how to manage and control your thinking. That is where all success (and failure) originates.

I created a bunch of exercises designed to help them find this for themselves. I put many of them into the new DVD program that you'll be seeing in a few days here. I'll also be working these exercises in the Advanced Audio Coaching.

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

Another Field Report - Another Success

Well it happened again. Here I was in a bad mood, sick, pissed off my wingman stood me up, and facing some inner turmoil about myself and the game (basically fighting off guilt others would impose upon me for being able to live this lifestyle.) I was moody and lonely, but as you taught in the seminar: GET OUT OF THE HOUSE. So I got up, got ready, called a cab, and was heading to a local bar, but the cab driver convinced me to go downtown. (He wanted more money).

I get downtown and wanted to go to a quieter, slower place for a few drinks to warm up. I ended up in a strip club for my drinks as I figured it'd put me in the mood, as well as relax me as I had some drinks. It did do the trick, and I was off to the popular night club Barracuda. I arrive and have some more drinks. At first I'm thinking the night was going to be a bust (inner game conditions were less than ideal considering my mood, turmoil, loneliness, etc).

I also was flying solo without a wingman this time. However I got myself to strike up a conversation with a gal who had sat at my table. She was boring so I approached her friend like you tell us to in the books and Approach program. I simply noticed she had a pink wrist band that though I had an idea what it was (a VIP band) I still wasn't sure about, so I walked up, tapped her arm to get her attention, and asked her what it was. She replies, "Want to dance?" I agree and we do. Next I isolate her by telling her let's go have a drink.

Now I DID buy women some drinks, but.....before you lash out on me about not doing that, I didn't do it with the expectation of getting something for it. Not from the frame of a nice guy. I chose what she was going to have and ordered it FOR her each time. (Long island iced teas as I know they're strong and women like the mixed drink taste.) I know when my targets have a good buzz going, they're more likely to go further. So we sit and talk, and I ended up going for the kiss. But it was after that time either because it was too much for her too soon, or when I said I had seen her outside of the club before we got in, but she lost interest.

I had lost that one so as you tell us NEXT! I started macking on her friend...kissed her. Went to another friend... This was working for me because I appeared to have social proof without KNOWING anyone there. Here I am mingling with all of these people, and I came alone. I even met a couple other guys and introduced them to these girls.
  
   Now the fun part came after I ditched the other friend. I saw my final target of the evening. She was standing there looking sort of lost/confused, so I grabbed her by the arm and said, "We're going to go dance." We hit the dance floor, then I isolated her back to my favorite spot (the booth tables on the other side of the bar.) Ran the usual on her, teasing and flirting. We shared a drink.

Her friend came and tried to block, but I just ignored the friend and kept my target distracted so that the friend just got tired of waiting and walked off. We started making out, so I took her hand and said "Let's get out of here." We went outside, and she began to hesitate, but then the bouncers stopped letting anyone in so we walked off. (Now she even went to the club with friends, but I somehow got her away from them that we didn't encounter them anymore that night.) After some lesson in patience with getting her into a cab, we were off. I got her to my place, had her take her shoes off (as we always do in my home). Poured her another drink which we never finished. Took her upstairs and it was all downhill from there.
  
I know that you aren't a huge fan of ONS, but I am learning that girls in fact DO want them. Sure it would be tiring for someone starting out in the game to go after them as you mention in the Seduction Method, but once you get good at it, it's easy.

A key note is not really having sex as an end goal in mind when you go out. I'm prepared to walk away with a number if needs be, but because of the environment of a club, social rules change and you CAN escalate quicker to kissing and touching.

So what I'm learning is that it is really about doing what you know attracts her: teasing, touch, escalation in the right amounts at the right time, and knowing when to move to the next stepping stone.
  
   What has happened with me Carlos? This is crazy! I owe a lot of my change to your Secrets of the Alpha Man program. Once I had the right attitude, it is like "LOOK OUT LADIES." And now when one isn't interested in me, it is her loss. Who cares? NEXT!

And P.S. just in case some feminist crusader of a man thinks it is disrespectful to seduce women and have a ONS, remember that THEY want sex as much as we do.

As long as you are both consenting, and it isn't done by lying or deception, all is fair in love and war.

Until next time C-man! AMP IT UP!
  
  
M in Oregon

---------
CARLOS:

I may have been too harsh in my discussion of guys and one night stands. I don't have anything against them. What I don't want is a bunch of guys seeking ego improvement through notching their bedposts.

However, you are ABSOLUTELY right that women also want the option of one night stands as well. What a man must provide is the safe conditions for her to indulge in her own wants. Be honorable, and it's all good.

After a while, though, what every guy realizes is that he will eventually want something more challenging after the ability to get what you want has paid off.

That's the irony of choice.

If you want more choice in your love life, and the ability to create more fun and success in your ENTIRE life, then I encourage you to have a look at the Secrets of the Alpha Man.

See how these guys have improved theirs HERE

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

What an Alpha Man says...

To put it simply, this program is packed with truth. I can clearly recognize my relationship sabotaging behaviors and attitudes as Carlos describes them.

This material crystallizes these behaviors and gives you solutions to begin changing them. The simple principle presented is that you can't really attract women until you become a fully rounded man: an Alpha Man. I'm already noticing an increase in my confidence level by just possessing the knowledge presented here.

True knowledge is power and power gives you confidence- Excellent!

-Chris
-----------------

CARLOS:

Crystallization is actually a term for the process of letting someone think about something for a while. It's like the slow process of salt-coating something by dipping it into ocean water over and over, letting the salt crystals build up and form.

When you've put in a little work (a lot less than you might think), you'll be crystallizing your own Alpha power and confidence like never before. This is something that women will come back to, especially when they know you are a man of complete character and ability.

Confidence comes from accomplishing small goals, and understanding that you're the quality of man that DESERVES a hot woman by your side.

If you want to learn the complete process for creating an Alpha Lifestyle, look HERE

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

Ten Commandments

MEMORIAL TO MEN

This holiday weekend, when you're remembering those who died for
our country and those whose sacrifice has meant a better life for
you, I want you to sit back for a moment and remember Men.

You know. The 49+% of the population with an "outie" instead of the
"innie" in that place where you feel warm and tingly.

Do you remember when:

- Men could yank out the 350 engine from their Chevy and rebuild it?

- Men didn't cry in movies, they held their crying girlfriends
instead?

- Men did what they needed to do, whether or not their woman
disapproved of their decision?

- Men knew how to defend themselves physically? They could fight if
they had to.

I remember those days... when men were men, and women were there
for them.

Well, in the spirit of memorial day, I've got something for you.

Here's what I call the Ten Masculine Commandments. I want you to
read each of these every morning, and even post them on your
bathroom mirror if it will help you remember what it is to be a
man. This is one of the most respectable things you will ever do
with your life.

Don't turn away from your responsibility.

Embrace it...

THE TEN MASCULINE COMMANDMENTS:

1) Thou shalt not whine or complain.

Life is tough, dude. Wear a cup. If something bad happens, I'm not
going to go on and on about how I was wronged. Every useless minute
of complaining isolates me from people (no one wants to hang out
with a lame cry-baby) and keeps the anger festering in me like a rotten
wound.

Remember: Harboring resentment is like taking poison and waiting for
the OTHER person to die.

2) Thou shalt not watch women's television programming.

No, not even for research. If I see you with Oprah on, or the View,
I'm going to come over there and personally open a 64 ounce can of
whupass on you.

When you've seen every good Steve McQueen and Clint Eastwood movie
of the 60s, and you can emulate Sean Connery in every James Bond
movie, THEN and ONLY then will I give you a pass to do a little
research if you like, but until then, avoid the breaking of your
machismo.

Yeah, that's right. I just used a dirty word. MACHISMO.

Here's the definition I found:

Machismo - A strong or exaggerated sense of
masculinity stressing attributes such as physical courage,
virility, domination of women, and aggressiveness.

Exaggerated? I don't think so. Domination and aggressiveness?
That's too far. It's dominANT - in attitude - and assertive instead
of aggressive.

So instead of one of those lame talk shows, go watch some
"Battlestar Galactica" or "Deadwood" instead.

3) Thou shalt persist to the end.

You're in a date you can't control? Tough. Figure it out, sport.
You've got a brain, and hopefully my e-book and audio by now. Get
it together and make it what you want it to be. If you quit, you'll
miss out on a thousand small lessons that will improve your game
1000% if you'll just hang in there and turn it into a learning
experience.

In fact, in all areas of your life, stick with it. Persistence is
essential to success.

4) Thou shalt toughen up and take criticism lightly.

Someone make fun of you? Shrug it off.

Did a chick just tell you your haircut looked like you stole the
hairpiece off Paulie from the Sopranos? Tough titty. Roll with it.

90% of the stuff people say to you is their way of cutting you down
to make themselves feel more superior. No one likes everyone all
the time. If you do, you're a kiss-ass. Stop trying to be Mr.
Popular.

Did that guy flick you off for driving too slow? F*ck him. Flick
him back and then get over it, instead of hunting him down and
making him your scapegoat.

I was and am of Italian ancestry. My friends called me "wop" and
"dego" when I was a kid, and I developed the mental toughness to
not let it bother me after a while. I assure you, you can do the same.

5) Thou shalt not over-groom

Stop trying to make yourself up into a strange androgynous creature
with makeup, hand lotion, and waxed chest. As long as you're
reasonably well-groomed, you can avoid the whole coconut hand
lotion and eye liner thing.

Remember that men are lumpy, occasionally rough around the edges. I
don't shave every day, and I don't need to take a cheese grater to
every callus on my skin.

She doesn't want you to take longer to get ready than she does.

6) Stop being afraid of being politically incorrect or expressing
an opinion of your own that might be viewed as "sexist."

More guys are running around out there in fear of being some kind
of horrible arrogant arse-hole than they are of never fully being
themselves. That's a far greater sin, by the way.

Just because something is thought of as traditional, or a
woman said she doesn't believe in it, does not mean it isn't TRUE.

When I say that women are better at nurturing, and men are more
emotionally straight and level, the frowns appear. But I stand my
ground and remind those who would label me a dinosaur that these
gender qualities are usually why couples work out in the long run.

Respect gender roles. Stop trying to deny your masculinity.

Macho is GOOD.

And don't even get me started on this whole "I can't offend anyone"
political correctness CRAP.

7) Thou shalt not take up feminist causes.

It's not your fight, chum. Most women have even acknowledged that
the feminist movement is over. And the results are not all that
they really wanted.

More men are trying to be women, and more women are trying to be
men than ever before. And neither one of us is attracted to it. You
show me a 'strong, sassy' woman who wears the pants and I'll show
you a woman who's got some anger and issues waiting to be resolved.

And the same for guys. You show me a whiney, cry-baby of a wuss,
and I'll show you a man who's hiding behind his own inadequacy and
low self-esteem.

Let's get back to being attractive to each other instead of trying
to imitate each other.

8) Thou shalt be competent and useful.

Do you have a tool box?

Can you fix something if it breaks?

Can you change your own oil?

Guys have become woefully lacking in skill these past few years.
They can't even build something from Ikea without becoming
hopelessly lost.

Men are good at spatial reasoning and physical manipulation. We're
born fixers and handy-men.

Go buy yourself a wrench and get back to your roots.

9) Thou shalt not be afraid of your own anger. (Otherwise known as
"Thou shalt not take so much crap")

Guys often fall back on anger as an emotional knee-jerk reaction to
their own frustration.

You need to have a tight rein on your temper, but for gosh sakes,
without the potential for anger, you're just a sniveling cry-baby
of a girly-man that just avoids any potential confrontations.

The people we respect in life are the ones that we know there
are CONSEQUENCES for angering. Is there any consequence
for doing YOU wrong?

Besides, there's nothing like an ugly confrontational shouting match to
light those macho fires.

I have the right "NOT" to be tolerant of others because they are
different, weird, or tick me off.

Go ahead! Tell someone off!

Get pissed about something. Then, GET OVER IT and move on.

The guys I truly worry about are the ones that repress their anger
and bottle it up. It's usually this kind of person that runs amok
in a department store with an AK-47 someday.

10) Thou shalt not be so damn p*$$y whipped!

Stand up to a woman! If she's being a pushy, self-serving little
annoyance, then cut her loose. She'd be the early death of you
anyway. Good riddance.

If you're handing over your balls to a woman because you're so
desperate for a roll in the sack with her, you're selling your
birthright. Not only that, but she'll see your spineless behavior
for what it is and either cheat on your or lose you the first
chance she gets.

Women rarely break up with me. I'm very effective at laying down
the law in the first 2 meetings with them so that they know what
they're in for. I explain to them in no uncertain terms what I
stand for, and if that isn't to their liking or taste, that door
over there is their emergency chute. Get out now and let me get
back to finding a woman that appreciates a man.

Women are not turned on by guys who will do anything to get in her
pants. You just look friggin PATHETIC. Have standards or a code
that keeps you from being a doormat to your woman.

We both know that I've probably got a billion more commandments I
could come up with, but I felt that you and I needed to set things
straight here with some of the more pressing issues.

The real truth I'm trying to illustrate is that if more guys would
just get out of their own way long enough to SHOW their
masculinity, there wouldn't be this crisis of male identity going on.

Many years back, I went on my own personal crusade.

I had been a "natural" for as long as I could remember with women.
Then, I got 'enlightened' by some lame books combined with a
crisis of my own self-esteem.

I turned into a total wimp. I bottomed out, not getting laid for ...


Well, a LONG time.

Embarrassingly LONG.

So I got on a path of rebuilding my ego, and I started working on
myself, re-learning why it is that women really do like guys with
assertive, strong personalities.

I tried various tactics and methods, and eventually I found my way
back.

What I did back in 2004 was put all this material together for you
in a very special program. It's called the Secrets of the Alpha Man.

(Don't be confused by a lot of the poseurs out there trying to show
you their "Alpha Male" stuff. Mine is the first. The original.)

If you're reading this now, and you want to learn the strategies
that others have learned, the top-down approach strategies are
exactly what my Alpha Man program will teach you.

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

What's in a Name?

Carlos, one question. when I ask for a girls name majority of them would say "why?" or why do you want to know my name?" this is after I talk with her for more than five minutes and I see she is interested.

What do they mean by this and how should I answer them.

-H
-------------------
CARLOS:

Well, first of all, if you're talking to a woman for more than five minutes, and she won't give you her name, SHE'S NOT THAT INTERESTED.

Or she's a game-playing manipulating psychopath.

But let's forget that last option for a moment here.

Any woman that is sufficiently interested in you will have NO problem telling you her name after a couple minutes of engaging conversation. If she doesn't, she isn't.

That should be a new chant for you.

If she doesn't, she isn't.

What's really a concern here is that you are perceiving her as interested when she obviously isn't.

Remember, there are only two states of thinking: Enlightened or Deluded.

Sometimes women like to play games like this, not giving you their name to test you, but if she's testing you like that when you've invested a few minutes of conversation with her, that really indicates a much different problem.

This problem happened before you asked for her name.

If a woman needs to know WHY, you haven't SHOWN her why with your Alpha Attitude.

If you want to know what to say, how about: "Because I'm planning to write a love poem to you when I get home. Wait, on second thought, you probably have one of those embarrassing porn star names, like 'Yolanda Giggles,' or 'Iwannabe Onattop,' right?"

But if you want to cure the problem and not just the symptom, you should learn the Secrets of the Alpha Man.

Learn True Success With Women ... and Life.

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

Shhh....

For those of you who are vigilant and watch the blog, I've got a special sneak peek for you...

Go look quick before I take it down..

http://www.attractwomenprogram.com/

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

Is he on to something?

I had somewhat of an epiphany and I'm wondering if you could help clarify something.

Last week at a party I tried saying hi to this girl I had a thing for from a while ago. She kinda got weird and quickly looked away, ignoring me. I personally didn't care and thought if she's gonna be like that then fine, I'm not going to let it ruin my night.

I went around the party talking up different people, passed her a bunch of times without looking at her. Shortly after, she was staring at me, did things to get my attention, and even approached me. I was cool about it, keeping some witty banter going, but my question is this: It seems like I may be able to use this "oh, I didn't even see you" type thing to get some attention, particularly from warm contacts.

So, how do I take it from there in future interactions to the next level in building attraction because it seems after a certain point they have to try and approach you. This has happened about three times from three different girls in the last two weeks. I think I may be on to something here. Any thoughts?

--------

CARLOS:

Hmmm... I don't mean to sound self-congratulatory, but this is one of the principles of being immersed in your own reality and carrying a strong frame that I discuss. (We covered this in depth in the Alpha Immersion Seminar back in March. You'll be able to see it soon on the DVDs.)

This is TYPICAL female behavior. (And typical human behavior, too.) When we're snubbed or ignored by someone who appears to have High Social Value (HSV), we desire their attention and affiliation more than ever.

This was an evolutionary gambit that played out over millions of years, when humans understood that being in good graces with the Alpha was a good way to ensure your survival. Who realized that better than women?

So of course she's going to be interested. After you demonstrated high social value in the party, she then realized that her ignoring you A) had no effect, B) could potentially backfire when she risked ostracizing herself from the social group.

The reason this worked for you was that you were blissfully ignorant of the technique (AKA: Natural) and were able to get the right mindset instead of trying to use a technique for the result. If you had been trying to do this to get her interested, it probably would have backfired on you.

Ignoring a woman is a powerful statement of your own personal power, as long as you do this from a frame of living in your own reality and acting from YOUR beliefs, instead of trying too hard to bend HER reality to suit you.

One is try-hard and low self-esteem manipulation. The other is self-centered (NOT a bad thing) and empowered.

Don't use something to "get" something. Do something from your natural identity and let the results just pour in. When you add the need to "get," you will find it will elude you.

So the lesson here isn't the results you get, but the mindset you achieve. THIS is what most guys miss on their path to glory with women.

I'm reminded of the story of the teacher and his student:

An old teacher once told his student to go out on a long road and find something special to bring back to him.

The student asked what it is he was looking for.

The teacher would not say.

And so the student went out on the road and searched for a year. He came back with a sack full of many fantastic things.

The teacher looked through it all and pulled out a leaf that had been mixed in with the precious artifacts. "Here it is," he said.

The student said, "That was it? I was supposed to find a leaf?"

The teacher smiled and said, "If I told you to find a leaf, would you have found this wonderful treasure?"

The student nodded and bowed to the teacher.

***

Now, I covered much of this topic in a previous Podcast, but I wanted to emphasize that holding on to the moment, or seeking an outcome roots us to some pretty weak results. But if we go in to discover the experience and learn along the way, we achieve much more.

We already know that the more you try to get a woman's attention, the more she'll shy away from it.

I distinctly remember trying to catch a gal's eye during a presentation in a class, and I remember how she deliberately avoided connecting with my stare.

That was painful, my friends. I felt that gnawing pain right in the middle of my chest. Here was this gal I wanted and hit on all the time, and she had even 'seemed' interested in me, and she was ignoring me.

Looking back on it, I know exactly what went wrong. But that pain still reminds me to never do that again...

If you'd like to read more rules about what not to do with women, have a look at this:

The Dating Black Book

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

He went too far... or did he?

Hey Carlos,

I wanted to ask your opinion on a situation I had the other day. I was talking to this girl that I met (I would say about a 9), and I had definite signs that she was interested judging by the way she talked, body language etc.. anyway, all through the conversation I had that whole confident cocky/funny attitude (which worked great for me with other girls).

So anyway, I was kinda joking around with her, busting her chops a little bit as they say... but then I made some comment about this scorpion tattoo she had on her shoulder, something about her not been as "cool" as she thought she was just because she had a tattoo, you know, in a totally playful manner.

But then something totally unexpected happened, all of a sudden she pulled this attitude on me out of nowhere and went something like "you know your arrogant approach isn't really going well with me... so i suggest you direct your immature b.s to someone who's willing to take it" (rough translation). Wtf!?.. I've gotten to the point where I'm fairly confident to not be shaken up by something like that, so I just kida backed up a bit and gave her this look, like "what's up your ass lady?", after which I said that it was only a joke and I didn't mean to offend her (kinda said I was 'sorry' although I deliberately avoided using that word).

At that point I chose to end the conversation because the energy was pretty much gone...

Anyway, usually in cases such as these I wouldn't even bother thinking about this, I would just go "NEXT!" in my head and go on with my life.. which is what I did.. but in retrospect, in this particular case I feel that I might have stepped over the line a bit, and turned the whole cocky/funny approach to more of an arrogant/insulting one.. but I was so into it that I didn't really notice the subtle cues from the girl, that maybe I was overdoing it, until it was too late... so basically what I'm saying is that I'm not sure if it really was her problem, or the problem was with me and I was just too much into that cocky/funny attitude to see it.

What do you think, Carlos?

Are there any general guidelines you could outline to avoid crossing the line between just being cocky and funny, and appearing arrogant and insulting?

Mind you this is the first time this has happened to me, but if it was a problem with my attitude, then I would like for it to be the last... I'm still relatively new to this, and am bound to make mistakes here and there until I get the hand of it better, so I wanna know if that was the case in here.

Thanks,
R

--------------
CARLOS:

You need to go too far enough times that you get a feel for when you REALLY are being arrogant (not as bad an offense as being a wuss, by the way.)

Only when you push the envelope like this will you be able to calibrate to the social situations you run into. If every guy ran around in fear of pissing off women (uh... actually most DO), no guys would ever approach women.

This girl obviously needs an operation - one that can safely remove the stick from her ass.

Sudden, 180 degree changes in attitude are ABNORMAL.

Translation - ISSUES.

Translation - RUN FORREST! RUN!

A normal girl will not wig out like Hannibal Lecter on acid like this. If she goes from 0 to 60 with you and then suddenly pulls on the brake - CONGRATULATIONS! You just got out of the way of a PMS queen, or someone who was having a bad day. (I'm really trying to be nice here, too.)

If you want to be sure to avoid overdoing it, you risk running around in fear of a woman's anger. A bad place to be. Just make sure you're not being cruel with your teasing, and avoid teasing her about her appearance. Keep it FUN for both of you.

And if you should run into this kind of freak out episode, DO NOT react or backpedal too fast. Instead, get curious and ask her what it was that set her off. Chances are she misunderstood something.

Don't worry about crossing the line. It's not a criminal offense. It just means you get to find out if she's going to be uptight sooner or later.

I prefer sooner.

Then it's "Seeya... bye."

Remember, The Pendulum Principle is a part of my REAL Game method, and you'll be getting a notice about something very special on it in a few weeks. Until then, you should have a look at my Secrets of the Alpha Man, if you don't already have it.

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

Testing and what she REALLY means...

Hi carlos.

It's me  again. I just received  my alpha man CDs and  just heard  them all. let  me  congratulate you, it is  excellent material  for my life. ok, in the  last  cd #6 in the track #7 (the seven success factors to be effective  in seduction and  dating)

I found  my only big  problem. I would  say I am pretty good  at all the  points  mentioned, except the point # 5 which is  overcoming  objections and  the problem here is  that I am not good  at recognizing real objections  from false objections. for example, when I had  agreed  on a  date  with  girl,  in the previous day  she said:  "...you  know  I cannot  go out  tomorrow with you  because  I am going  out with my other  friend (male  of  course) I told  you  about, I don't  know if I will be  free next saturday..you can call me  and  see  if  I will be  free that day".   

Carlos, this is my problem. I don't  want to give up easily on the competition for any girl but  on the  other  hand  I don't  know  if  they  really mean that they  don't  want to go out  with me because of other reasons like  she  has  another  option, other  than me or  she  is  just trying  to  test me.  

Again why the hell do women do this??? why do they test us??? so, should  I give up and  not call her  never anymore or should  I behave like a  beggar?

thank you  Carlos  for your best response, I will really appreciate it.  by the way, why is  the  name  alpha man?  why alpha?

your friend   E.H.      

-------------------
CARLOS:

First of all, I call it "Alpha"  because of the scientific term for the dominant male of any species. You can read up on that one at Wikipedia or something. It's a common enough term.

Second, never even consider acting the role of the "beggar."

Not only is a desperate man the lowest kind, he's REPULSIVE to women.

We are attracted to those people who carry themselves with power, conviction, and confidence.

Now, this woman is obviously not that into you. She's giving you the ol' "Call me and I'll see if I'm available."

This is woman-speak for "I'm not digging you, and I'm SO hoping you will just give up and disappear so that I don't have to reject you to your face."

Harsh?

Yeah.

True?

OH yeah.

You see, women don't want to make you feel bad. And they also will not confront a situation directly and sit you down to explain what you're doing wrong or why they aren't digging you...

You asked "Why...? Why ...? Why...?"

Why is not important. You're focusing too much on rationalizing emotional behavior. You'll go nuts doing this. Just ACCEPT it first, and then deal with it.

You don't ask why rain gets you wet when you go out in it, but you bring an umbrella to deal with it, don't you?

The same thing applies here. You can beat your head against the wall trying to understand it (which is possible if you use your melon and think about what her reasons for doing it would be... hint: I discuss this in detail in the Dating Black Book and the Secrets of the Alpha Man programs...)

She tests you because a man could SAY anything about himself, but his ACTIONS are the TRUTH.

See my previous posts about how to understand which are REAL objections and which are false...

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

Go ahead, toot it....

 
Carlos,
  
I must start off by tooting your horn about how well written your material is.  You present yourself in a very articulate manner formulating your material in an easy to understand format.  Thanks!  

Now this leads to my question.  Do you have any plans in the future of diving deeper on handling "social situations"?  I feel if people had the tools and skills to properly handle social outings it would enhance there Alpha Attitude, continue their upward spiral, and ease approach anxiety.  

It would be nice to hear your take on the best methods an Alpha would use for the different environments (i.e.  High Energy places, meeting new people in other cities, small gatherings, or just folks you'd come across through out your days).  Some people have that gift to work a crowd or social interaction, look at Bill Clinton.  

I personally find myself on both ends of the spectrum.  Sometimes I'm on "fire" with lots of conversation pieces for social events.  Other times I fumble trying to find my place in the group so I don't feel like I'm outside looking in the window.  Any Ideas?
  
   
Thanks and continue your good work
- J

---------
CARLOS:

By all means, toot my horn...

Just give me a hug first so I don't feel used.

The subject you refer to is something that I cover pretty completely in my Approach Women program, my Secrets of the Alpha Man, and a new segment I'm preparing in the Advanced Audio Coaching.

It's a big topic, so there's no way I can go into it all here, but I'll get you started.

Social situations are very organic, so I can't address them all, but I can tell you that some social situations hold a lot of common ingredients. The one that will always be there is YOU.

The best way to adapt to different social situations is through the use of your own personality and energy.

There is always one thing in common to all social situations you will run into.

YOU.

As the saying goes, wherever you go, there you are.

So the trick that so many guys miss is that you MUST learn how to use your own strengths to bend the reality of the environment to your own desire.

NOT, as some guys would tell you, to do the reverse, which is to let the environment rule YOU.

Now, HOW to do this is much of what I cover in the Secrets of the Alpha Man course, and is much too extensive to cover here, but I can tell you that you need to start with your own personal strengths. Not every guy (in fact, very few guys) are as socially dynamic as a Bill Clinton. For most of us, it's a struggle to make conversation at times.

The key is to find the right motivation to talk about the right things at the right time. And to just say SOMETHING. Most guys hold back out of fear of rejection and not knowing where to take things in the process.

From there, you need to find REAL topics that you can build REAL conversation from. Another reason so many guys find the approach and the conversation so tough is that they aren't talking about things they actually CARE about. This difference between using some clever technique and where your self-image stands is what I call The Gap. And it's where so many other guys go wrong with their game.

To do something, you MUST enjoy it. Otherwise you will be negatively motivated by the pain of the situation. So you have to find a comfortable way to enjoy your social interactions. I built up slowly by taking every social situation at MY pace. Then I added more thought and purpose into my approaches. It took a little time, but now there is NO situation that I cannot feel at home in, even when it's really foreign to me.

For now, the best way I can recommend you learn the skill of approach is to check out my Approach Women NOW program. I compiled all my best tips, exercises, and techniques for social interaction in one package for you to use.

Check it out here: Approach Women - NOW

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

You know you're an Alpha when...

I had a crazy morning of actually getting things done in my life, so I thought I'd share my manic mental musings with all of you.

So, with no further ado...


YOU KNOW YOU'RE AN ALPHA MAN WHEN:

- You shrug when you find a phone number you accidentally washed to paste in your laundry...

- You know her name... and HER name ... and HER name... and they're all walking your way with a smile...

- You watch television from your throne made of skulls as minions tend to your every whim ...

- You're more interested in surfing to the website of the company on a woman's card than actually calling her to hook up for drinks...

- Your Pit Bull kneels down and howls "I'm not worthy!" every time you enter the room...

- You fall asleep when your buddy puts a porn movie on ...

- She moans about how much your Toyota Prius turns her on...

- You set aside two nights a month for date night ... for YOU...

- Your divorced dad won't stop calling and asking you for your latest group opener...

And the top reason you know you're an Alpha Man:
- Tom Cruise calls you up and apologizes for his behavior over the last couple months...

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

Do you smell like this?

Something that's been bugging me.  You're right when you say that women can smell an agenda a mile away.  This is especially true in New York, where these dating-savvy women have been around the block, even the young ones.  

But come on, we all have an agenda, that's what drives us to consume your e-books/audiobooks/podcasts in the first place.  I feel like lately I've let my guard down and have been carrying around my agenda like some nasty B.O.  But I'm not exactly sure how I'm doing it.  Some of it can be probably be chalked up to overt things like impatience...but I wonder if there's more going on.

What are the best exercises to sharpen up my game so I'm not giving off this vibe?

Thanks as usual.
PB

----------
CARLOS:

There's a big difference between having a goal for your game, and reeking of agenda.

The thing I find in common with a lot of men and women is that we get caught up in wanting the ultimate goal rather than the best first step to that goal.

I get emails from guys all the time that are too centered around getting laid, when they should be looking to master the initial steps of approaching more women. This then translates into more interaction, more social skills, more game, more dates, and more sex.

It's a cliche, but you have to learn how to walk before you can run, no matter what the other well-meaning advisors out there would like to have you believe.

Impatience is another scent that women can pick up on you. It's one thing to have the goal and direction you want to go in, and quite another to be in the biggest damn hurry to get there. That's probably a woman's #1 turn-off. 

In fact, if I were to credit one thing I did that helped with my mastery in this field, it was to work on my patience. When it became clear to women that I could wait a long time for sex, they suddenly seemed much more interested in it. It's the abundance mentality that I talk about so much. This attitude communicates that you already have plenty, and that implies that you must have something special enough to get you that plenty.

So how do you work on this part of your game?

Well, first, I trust that you're subscribed to the Advanced Audio Coaching. That program is built around the REALity that you need constant reinforcement to develop a new skill. You don't just go out one night, try some new techniques, and become an instant sex god. Every month I give you exercises and information to work on this game.

The one thing I can recommend right now is that you work on this sense of abundance.

I'd love to just tell you to stop being needy, but the reality is that neediness (even if it's only for a better attitude) first comes from LETTING GO.

It's not necessarily an active process, meaning that sometimes NOT doing is a good idea.

But if you want to do something, I'd start by increasing your sense of abundance by creating a list of GOT.

As in, I GOT all this...

It's basically a list of all the things you HAVE in life as opposed to don't have.

Studies have shown that the happiest, most secure people in the world all have one thing in common - a sense of GRATITUDE. And that's hard to come by in a world that wants you to feel inadequate so you'll buy more and more of the stuff they make.

Let's face it, Capitalism is based on the need to consume. You're inadequate. You need plastic surgery. You need more STUFF.

You're not enough.

You won't consume as much if you feel fulfilled, will you?

I'm not getting all political on you, but let's realize that everyone - even your society - has agendas. The point is to recognize and adopt the ones that SERVE you - not make you serve another.

Make a list of all you have, and then really meditate on it for a while. The more you appreciate what you've got, the more you'll feel adequate when you meet women. And that will translate into a truly ALPHA vibe with her.

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

What happens when you ASK her....

Hey mate,

I've got an interesting situation for you. Please help me out. I'm gonna get straight to the point.

I've been trying your stuff on this girl and it works like magic. Every word you said is right. Although she's very friendly to every one, I can sort of  tell that she's at least a little interested in me because of her body signals. I make her laugh every time, she calls me and pops by my place a few times, she leans her head on my shoulder while watching movies, we even cuddle a bit on the bed while watching movies (although nothing else happens).

One night I decided to ask her whether she would go out with me, but she said she didn't know. What's that mean? Apparently she has never got a boyfriend before and she said she is really shy. I figured maybe she's just scared to go to the next level because she hasn't had experience before and wouldn't know what to do.

Am I assuming wrong? Nevertheless, she still slept over my place that same night (nothing happened, just a bit of cuddling). And she still seems pretty comfortable with me.

The thing is I've got another friend who is interested in her, and she seems really friendly to him too (but I don't think she cuddles with him in bed too). So there is some competition. What should I do now? Should I just keep doing what I'm doing? I don't want to lose her and fall into the friend zone.

Cheers,

from down under

--------

CARLOS:

It's always great to hear from the guys down under. But no Vegamite for me, dude. Someday soon I'm going to get a seminar out there for you guys...

And I'm always happy when you're willing to open your mind and unlearn some of the bad programming that gets into guys' heads these days. If you're using this material and learning how powerful it is, you're already on the path, Neo.

Congratulations.

What has me DEEPLY concerned is this whole "cuddling" thing, and the "nothing happens" thing.

This is cause for alarm. I want to help you take care of this now, while you have the ability to change and pull it together.

Let me tackle the "nothing happens" part right away.

If nothing is happening, it's because YOU ARE NOT MAKING IT HAPPEN.

It's up to the guy to act and escalate things with a woman. Not to sit back and complain that nothing is happening. He must be the one to risk rejection.... and success.

I know we all wish this were different, but it's how a woman knows you're the kind of guy that can make something HAPPEN when it's time.

What if you two were on the street together and some guy came up and gave her a hard time?

WWYD?

(What would you do?)

Would you wait for something to 'happen'? Or would you MAKE it happen?

I think the latter. And that's what she wants from you. Proof to her instinctual and primal needs for protection and security.

If you're too timid to go for a kiss or advance on her, just imagine what might happen when things get REALLY tough.

Now the "cuddling" thing I've addressed before...

If you're cuddling with her, you're telling her it's okay to use you as a little emotional teddy bear, and she can now safely expect NOTHING to happen with you.

Cuddling is how you show affection, but it's also Nice Guy behavior that makes it appear as if you have no balls to make it go further. Save your cuddling for after the make out session. Cuddling gets old, even to a woman, when you don't ESCALATE.

Cuddling is for AFTER. Pre-cuddling is Pre-mature.

Make sense?

As for this other guy, well you only need to worry about your competition if you aren't getting anywhere.

Uh...

Hmmm.

Stay out of her head. Just be thoughtful, don't mistreat her, but recognize that being too "nice" is going to be the worst thing for you both.

Somebody is going to be her first REAL boyfriend. If you get moving, it could be you.

Or... not.

If you want to learn more about being an Alpha Man, I strongly suggest you take a look at these secrets...

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

REAL Objections

How can I overcome  objections....?  since I do not  even know  how  to recognize  a  false  objection from a  true objection.  now, if  I am in front  of  a  false  objection  ( a test from  a  woman)  how am  I going  to  overcome it?  I'm  just having  problems  on this  issue  but  I'm o.k in all the  other  aspects....and  you know I owe it to you  and  your  books...

---------------

CARLOS:

Well, that's an interesting subject.

You see, what's the difference between a real submarine with nuclear warheads on its way to annihilate the East Coast of the United States and a submarine executing a drill?

This was the question in the great book and movie "The Hunt for Red October."

The solution is actually pretty simple, and it was the one they had to use in the movie as well.

ANSWER: You don't know, so you have to treat every situation as real.

But that doesn't mean that your way is necessarily right the way you're doing it right now.

You see, most guys handle challenges to their progress as reasons to panic and drop their guard and become wimpy she-males.

You simply must keep your composure, and treat every situation as a chance to show your posture and non-needy, non-whiney, non-desperate Alpha personality.

Just face it, bust her on it, and listen for the subtext of what she's saying to hear the real meaning of her "objection..."

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

Rebuttal to the Rebuttal

Don't think that the ol' C-man is getting soft from what you may think you heard in the last two posts.

No sir-ee...

Nor do I think that either guy in the last two posts is 'wrong' for their own personal desires.

"M" deserves the success he got with his ONS, and there is no judgment there.

I just want men to understand that what you search for is your own CHOICE. The way it should be.

You guys are ROCKING!

Every man deserves to be what he wants to be with NO APOLOGIES.

- Carlos X

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

Response to Field Report

Hi, Carlos:

Thanks for your emails.  I get emails from David D, RSD, as well as yourself, and want to compliment you on your sensitivity to women.  You can't go wrong when you humanize the process of mating.  
 
I'm impressed by your response to this guy who emailed you regarding his "conquest," reminding him that attraction techniques for guys are not about JUST one night stands.  I noticed that this guy talked about lots of techniques (outer game).  I believe that a solid inner game, in addition to techniques, means that you recognize your own worth as a person...and HER worth as a person!  I got the sense from this guy that "bedding the chick" was his primary goal.  

With this attitude there is a kind of disconnect from the woman---it's almost as if he was floating above himself with his "moves."  If you've ever had an intense lovemaking experience you know that it's about two people connecting and being together.  A woman can SMELL disingenuousness because they have ACUTE perception.  Having that wonderful experience of connecting with a person, even if it is to be one night only, CAN be a genuine, humane/caring time together, or at some level, the next day, the woman realizes she's been had by folks practicing techniques (a very, very dehumanizing moment!).  
 
Another thought-within the dating community (RSD, DD, yourself, Neil Strauss) the techniques of attracting women are applied in either a humane or an inhumane way, dignifying or degrading sexuality.  I've never had a woman tell me that she felt used when the guy she was with understood her and treated her with respect (a word that is very deep).  

However, a woman's reference to a guy as a dog occurs because, I think, they have felt manipulated.  Great lovers are respected and appreciated-manipulators are scorned.  If the guy has a "goal" of getting laid-this attitude is picked up by the woman, if not before, then after-and she feels used.  The guy's goal is selfish, and doesn't include the woman.  The woman becomes only a vagina and a notch on his belt.
 
Yikes, I don't mean to be too heavy about sex or one night stands, but this letter provoked some thoughts on my part.  Again, I've noticed that your notes have a humane quality to them that is 'right on!'
 
- P

--------

CARLOS:

Some great observations here. It's true that you never want to be degrading or disrespectful.

There are a lot of guys out there for self-gratification. I create my materials with the honorable man in mind, because I believe that's every man's obligation.

I like the quote from "Rob Roy": "A man's honor is like the gift he gives to himself..."

Thanks for noticing that I'm not just another "get laid quick" guru...

There's nothing wrong with forging a quick connection, i.e., "one night stands", but it must be done in the context of honesty and honor to you and her. I think that was done in the success from the last post. He's come a long way, and this success was important.

Men and women all want the same things, when it comes right down to it. Sometimes in a different order, but eventually the same.

Be an Alpha Man first and foremost...

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

FIELD REPORT from another ALPHA

Well, I got a fantastic email from one of the guys that attended my March seminar. He just had a fantastic personal victory, and I wanted to share it with you (with his permission, of course.)

As you read this, I want you to put yourself in his shoes, and imagine that it could happen just as easily for you. Though I'm not about any kind of 'get laid quick' scheme here (What's the rush, right?), sometimes what a guy wants is the validation that he's desirable to women. Women want the same thing from men.

Every so often I have to re-assert that Carlos is not about manipulation or deceptive practices. All your encounters with a woman are WIN-WIN.

Read between the lines in his attitude, because even though you might be able to say the words, you have to BE the man that believes them.

----------------------
"Hey Carlos,

I know it might seem kind of a small victory, but I all ready succeeded in going home with a girl from the club last night! Definitely worth telling you about.

I used the material from all of your products including: The Dating Black Book, ... The Secrets of the Alpha Man, and Approach Women NOW!

So I go out with 2 of my wingmen to a bar we went to on Saturday, this time dressed how you and CJ said to dress. I felt kind of funny, but I noticed everytime I do dress this way, good things with women tend to happen. (Last time I was approached)

Anyhow my wingman who is learning your stuff was sitting down frozen like I was in the San Francisco seminar at first, asking me about how to approach a set, when I just walked right up, noticed she had 2 drinks and was like, "Got enough drinks there?" She said playfully, "I'm thirsty..." And I replied, "Either that or an ALCOHOLIC"

That got her laughing a bit. She turned out to be married so I moved on. (NEXT as you say in your ebooks and CDs)

They were then doing a contest on stage where the woman who faked the best orgasm got 100 bucks in free drinks. They were calling for other girls so I walked up to another girl and was like, "Quick, quick, get up there...." and she's laughing and like no way. But after I tried to lean in to talk to her again, she leaned away sorta dodging me, then her friend grabbed her and took her a way.

Felt a little sting of rejection, but it's REALLY her eliminating herself right? Besides I could sit down and pick about all of the cognitive distortions about feeling bad about it later and make it better. (One of my exercises to help me maintain self-esteem)

I understood because of the Secrets of the Alpha Man program, as well as the seminar that *I* was the prize, that NO woman could change my value (which I've discovered doing the positive qualities exercise and coming up with 50 real reasons why I am an awesome man for a woman to have in her life) which is not reflected in others opinions of me or how they react to me.

So as you say in your books again, "NEXT!!" Moving on. I went to dance with this girl on the dance floor. Pushed up behind her. She turns around and moved away. I'm like "what the heck??" She says, "I have a boyfriend." And I said, "I was looking to dance, NOT FOR A JOB," and walked away from her. (Kind of a combination of your rebuttal I learned from the Alpha Man program, and other materials I own). "NEXT!"

Finally, I see my final target. I watched from a distance as a guy spoke to her, and moments later walked away after shaking her hand. I asked him, "What happened with her?" He said, "I just asked her name." And he told me her name. (I saw he didn't get that far with her and wanted to know why before I approached, so I could be prepared for that obstacle if she threw it at me.)

She's at the bar waiting for a drink obviously. It is like 1:40ish or so and usually drinks stop at 2 am. I used this fact as an approach. "Are they still serving drinks?" I asked. She said yes. I asked what she ordered. She told me vodka and club soda. "What's your name?" she asks me. "I'll come find you in a minute and we'll talk then." I told her.

(P.S.She told me this hooked her later, and that she at first wasn't planning to give me or any other guys the time of day. She thought I was just brushing her off when I said that.)

She walked off. I got my drink, went over to her. Started busting on her relentlessly. (I think I am getting the whole cocky/funny/tease-to-please thing down.) Seemed like everything she said, I found something to bust on her about.

I'd make comments like, "Oh so this is the part your friend comes and grabs you by the hand and says 'let's go' right?" Made fun of how she broke her shoe earlier saying, "Yeah right, you know you just grabbed it out of the closet like that and threw it on."

Anyways when her friends came up, I was like "Well give me your number." She responds with, "What are you doing tonight." I said, "Not sure YET." And we discussed her coming back to my house. She said give her my number first, and I'm like, "No, it doesn't work that way babe,"

([I used your phone strategy] as you cover in the ebooks and audio programs) so she had to dial her phone after putting my number in to get mine. I'm in my friends car, and she texts me saying "We should get together tonight, we could have some fun." I replied, "With friends or just us?" "Just us..is that OK?" she says. So I call her and get directions and have my wingman drop me off.

At her place I have her feed me a little, so I could get ready for what I knew was coming. I took her into her bedroom, but could tell she wasn't ready at all (Using the "occupation" techniques from The Seduction Method I could gauge this wasn't the right time for that and I would blow it if I tried to push it right there so I backed off a little and adjusted course)

...So I said, "Let's go watch a movie out there." We put on The Italian Job. Had another drink. Started making out. Kissed her a while, and occasionally would do as you said which is stop and say "......(that technique from the Alpha Man program)"

Did that a few times. Then kissed her some more. She was smelling my neck and keeping her face there because I smelled so good to her. (Took Carolyn's advice that night in SF with the cologne which was don't be too bashful with putting it on).

Anyways we did this till she said she was tired. I grabbed her hand and said, "Come on then." leading her to HER bedroom. (This is something your say do in all of your ebooks) Turned off the TV and lights. Did some more making out before undressing her. Then my friend I had my first successful one night stand from the club.

I am now OFFICIALLY back into the game for real.

This is awesome! I hope all of the other guys can see how you can go from an AFC to getting laid in a SINGLE moment once you have the right attitude, techniques, and even more importantly TAKE ACTION. Thanks C.

(P.S. What helped me take action was accepting the consequences of the risk of approaching in advance which was them possibly not being interested. I learned this from the Secrets of the Alpha Man ebook. Big deal if you realize and accept it in advance right?)

-M
------------------

CARLOS:

Man, I'm just... all mushy now...

sniff sniff...

It's like your little Alpha Boy just grew up and took his first step in the big singles world.

Now, I'm not a big proponent of the one-night-stand (after all, if it was worth it once, you should be going back and making it a many-night-stands.) That's not what my advice is geared towards.

BUT I'd be lying to you if I said that while most guys want a meaningful relationship, they also want the ABILITY and power to have this experience as well. Many women desire it, too, but the social constructs around them are different than men, as well as their needs for emotional security and the perception of society.

Something else Carlos tries his best not to be is judgmental.

Still, my man, I'm giving you a locker room high-five. Well done! Especially because I know you needed that boost to your ego.

There's some seriously good stuff going on your report. Let's see if we can review the top points ...

1) You reframed the meaning of the events to something that empowered YOU.

So many guys go out and choose to interpret neutral events (a woman's disinterest is one) as being some statement of his value or a kick in the ego. The reality is that she doesn't know you AT ALL, so any judgment made of you is totally impulsive and probably incorrect.

This is a prime reason for the NEXT rule. It's like shopping for a car. If this lot doesn't have what you want, you go to the next one. It has NOTHING to do with you. The car lot manager did not see you coming and decide to put out his crappy models just for you.

It was circumstance.

Get over it. Move on.

NEXT.

2) My reply for the woman who wouldn't get up on stage for the orgasm contest: "Well, I realize it's probably been a while since you've had a good one, but I bet you're really good at faking them."

3) The sting of rejection (and it's really not rejection, as you might suspect) is nothing compared to the lingering slow death of sitting on the sidelines, growing old, and regretting. You learned this first-hand. Now program it permanently into your experience.

The big mistake a lot of guys make is that they don't internalize these realizations into their belief system.

4) "Oh so this is the part your friend comes and grabs you by the hand and says 'let's go' right?"

EXCELLENT job of inoculation, by the way. You handled what was coming with that girl spot ON. By bringing it up first, you demonstrated that you understood the social dynamics of the situation. You got REAL with her.

5) She fed you, too... priceless.

6) Great job of pacing her reality. She wasn't ready at first, but you backed off and took the patient, Alpha Man route. Very good.

You see, you don't need to hurry a woman into bed. Just know that eventually she will - she MUST - sleep with you. It doesn't have to be the first night. But sometimes that's the way it all works out.

7) Probably most important was your acknowledgment of the power of your attitude as you stated in your last sentence:

"accepting the consequences of the risk of approaching in advance which was them possibly not being interested"

Once you fully and emotionally accept this possible outcome, you are then set f-r-e-e to do whatever your heart desires, because you are no longer under the restraints of the female social Matrix.

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

FIELD REPORT FROM AN ALPHA MAN

Here's a little something one of the Alpha Men out there sent in. I thought you might like to know what it is that works with women...

.... And it's definitely not the "nice guy."

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Hey Carlos,

I hope all is well. Anyway, I have a why nice guys finished last field report and if you feel this can help the readers then feel free to share. As follows:

On Friday I was at a nearby bar/grille by myself for Happy Hour. This girl ... shows up by herself and is seated nearby at the bar as well. I just start talking to her and was pretty much having a general conversation. As we were talking her cell phone kept ringing and it was a guy who's chasing her big time w/ nice guy behavior.

He called her 6 times that day and she told him she was in a nearby town(a lie to get away from him) he went there and called her to tell her hey I'm in that town in order to meet up..... Dude was following her or at least he thinks he was. She also mentioned that he's been leaving flowers at her door step every day for like a month....So I asked her if she found that behavior attractive and she answered w/ a resounding NO.

Anyway, to make the story short w/in an hour of meeting her I had sex w/ her at her place and then a few times more at mine. She said to me when I first met you I totally thought you were cocky SOB.

Anyone who knows me knows I'm not. I was just being my Alpha self....Here's a kicker too.....The "nice guy" chasing her is someone I'm acquainted w/ and may cross paths w/ again. I found this out after I was done. Too funny.

Anyway, I'm sure you like success stories, so I thought I share.
  
A

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CARLOS:

And just to keep you guys in the loop, this was a guy I was working with in the personalized phone coaching to help him out.

Only one session.

So if you'd like to learn what he did to get this great success, check out the Alpha Man

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men