He went too far... or did he?

Hey Carlos,

I wanted to ask your opinion on a situation I had the other day. I was talking to this girl that I met (I would say about a 9), and I had definite signs that she was interested judging by the way she talked, body language etc.. anyway, all through the conversation I had that whole confident cocky/funny attitude (which worked great for me with other girls).

So anyway, I was kinda joking around with her, busting her chops a little bit as they say... but then I made some comment about this scorpion tattoo she had on her shoulder, something about her not been as "cool" as she thought she was just because she had a tattoo, you know, in a totally playful manner.

But then something totally unexpected happened, all of a sudden she pulled this attitude on me out of nowhere and went something like "you know your arrogant approach isn't really going well with me... so i suggest you direct your immature b.s to someone who's willing to take it" (rough translation). Wtf!?.. I've gotten to the point where I'm fairly confident to not be shaken up by something like that, so I just kida backed up a bit and gave her this look, like "what's up your ass lady?", after which I said that it was only a joke and I didn't mean to offend her (kinda said I was 'sorry' although I deliberately avoided using that word).

At that point I chose to end the conversation because the energy was pretty much gone...

Anyway, usually in cases such as these I wouldn't even bother thinking about this, I would just go "NEXT!" in my head and go on with my life.. which is what I did.. but in retrospect, in this particular case I feel that I might have stepped over the line a bit, and turned the whole cocky/funny approach to more of an arrogant/insulting one.. but I was so into it that I didn't really notice the subtle cues from the girl, that maybe I was overdoing it, until it was too late... so basically what I'm saying is that I'm not sure if it really was her problem, or the problem was with me and I was just too much into that cocky/funny attitude to see it.

What do you think, Carlos?

Are there any general guidelines you could outline to avoid crossing the line between just being cocky and funny, and appearing arrogant and insulting?

Mind you this is the first time this has happened to me, but if it was a problem with my attitude, then I would like for it to be the last... I'm still relatively new to this, and am bound to make mistakes here and there until I get the hand of it better, so I wanna know if that was the case in here.

Thanks,
R

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CARLOS:

You need to go too far enough times that you get a feel for when you REALLY are being arrogant (not as bad an offense as being a wuss, by the way.)

Only when you push the envelope like this will you be able to calibrate to the social situations you run into. If every guy ran around in fear of pissing off women (uh... actually most DO), no guys would ever approach women.

This girl obviously needs an operation - one that can safely remove the stick from her ass.

Sudden, 180 degree changes in attitude are ABNORMAL.

Translation - ISSUES.

Translation - RUN FORREST! RUN!

A normal girl will not wig out like Hannibal Lecter on acid like this. If she goes from 0 to 60 with you and then suddenly pulls on the brake - CONGRATULATIONS! You just got out of the way of a PMS queen, or someone who was having a bad day. (I'm really trying to be nice here, too.)

If you want to be sure to avoid overdoing it, you risk running around in fear of a woman's anger. A bad place to be. Just make sure you're not being cruel with your teasing, and avoid teasing her about her appearance. Keep it FUN for both of you.

And if you should run into this kind of freak out episode, DO NOT react or backpedal too fast. Instead, get curious and ask her what it was that set her off. Chances are she misunderstood something.

Don't worry about crossing the line. It's not a criminal offense. It just means you get to find out if she's going to be uptight sooner or later.

I prefer sooner.

Then it's "Seeya... bye."

Remember, The Pendulum Principle is a part of my REAL Game method, and you'll be getting a notice about something very special on it in a few weeks. Until then, you should have a look at my Secrets of the Alpha Man, if you don't already have it.

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