Response to Field Report

Hi, Carlos:

Thanks for your emails.  I get emails from David D, RSD, as well as yourself, and want to compliment you on your sensitivity to women.  You can't go wrong when you humanize the process of mating.  
 
I'm impressed by your response to this guy who emailed you regarding his "conquest," reminding him that attraction techniques for guys are not about JUST one night stands.  I noticed that this guy talked about lots of techniques (outer game).  I believe that a solid inner game, in addition to techniques, means that you recognize your own worth as a person...and HER worth as a person!  I got the sense from this guy that "bedding the chick" was his primary goal.  

With this attitude there is a kind of disconnect from the woman---it's almost as if he was floating above himself with his "moves."  If you've ever had an intense lovemaking experience you know that it's about two people connecting and being together.  A woman can SMELL disingenuousness because they have ACUTE perception.  Having that wonderful experience of connecting with a person, even if it is to be one night only, CAN be a genuine, humane/caring time together, or at some level, the next day, the woman realizes she's been had by folks practicing techniques (a very, very dehumanizing moment!).  
 
Another thought-within the dating community (RSD, DD, yourself, Neil Strauss) the techniques of attracting women are applied in either a humane or an inhumane way, dignifying or degrading sexuality.  I've never had a woman tell me that she felt used when the guy she was with understood her and treated her with respect (a word that is very deep).  

However, a woman's reference to a guy as a dog occurs because, I think, they have felt manipulated.  Great lovers are respected and appreciated-manipulators are scorned.  If the guy has a "goal" of getting laid-this attitude is picked up by the woman, if not before, then after-and she feels used.  The guy's goal is selfish, and doesn't include the woman.  The woman becomes only a vagina and a notch on his belt.
 
Yikes, I don't mean to be too heavy about sex or one night stands, but this letter provoked some thoughts on my part.  Again, I've noticed that your notes have a humane quality to them that is 'right on!'
 
- P

--------

CARLOS:

Some great observations here. It's true that you never want to be degrading or disrespectful.

There are a lot of guys out there for self-gratification. I create my materials with the honorable man in mind, because I believe that's every man's obligation.

I like the quote from "Rob Roy": "A man's honor is like the gift he gives to himself..."

Thanks for noticing that I'm not just another "get laid quick" guru...

There's nothing wrong with forging a quick connection, i.e., "one night stands", but it must be done in the context of honesty and honor to you and her. I think that was done in the success from the last post. He's come a long way, and this success was important.

Men and women all want the same things, when it comes right down to it. Sometimes in a different order, but eventually the same.

Be an Alpha Man first and foremost...

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men