What would you do if you had your choice of women?

Hi Carlos,
I came to you while surfing on the net for some ways to "get HER back". I bought your books (The Dating Black Book and Alpha Man) your cds (alpha and approach) and ... I ordered the advanced audio coaching... I studied and practiced, studied and practiced and... got girls, many.

In only two months I was with three, crazy time. Now I have one, sort of official, and another, just for the great sex. In that crazy time I had my ex ex again in just for a ride. I was just too excited with your tactics that I pushed it a little!!!

(I think you should tell guys to be careful [because] it's easy to exaggerate with your stuff and overdo it).

And in this crazy storm of multiple girls and sex I thought it might be a good idea to have HER in (HER is the one that send me browsing the net to get her back and made me meet you). I called her just to put her between the others... in the right perspective let's say, and try out your tactics with HER as well. 

Well we met and.... straight to bed.... (and she didn't even want to see me a few months back because of what I had done to her!).  Carlos, I had and still have a strong passion for her and love her and wanted to marry her. I left her because she's filipino (I'm Italian), and her uncle was watching close our relationship in a menacing way (if I hurt her I hurt you!) and my parents freaked out because her mum was my mum's helper.

I left her out of FEAR, and of the the serious commitment I was assuming while dating her... She was teared to bits, and then, when she stopped crying after weeks, I freaked out, literally... I did everything I could to ger her back, but in the wussy way, until I found you and started being ALPHA again.

That's why I was in the single arena again and looking for gals.... I had a lot of girls before, I got girls, and my game had a quantum leap since I met you and read your stuff. It was just the wussy parenthesis when I wanted to make it up and have her back, because I felt my decision to leave her was dictated by FEAR of what might be....

Now I want to leave one of the girls I am dating because she's a bit old for me, she's 39 I am 34 (should have stopped before but she was extra cute and adoring). 

Carlos. I would just like to get HER off my mind. What should I do? get back in the relationship and see how it works out, no fear? Maybe we marry and that's it.

Or get back in the dating scene to find one that really can replace her? Hold on to this last one, adoring as she is for some more time? She's not asking anything and I am starting to develop feelings for her. But I definitely don't want to marry her, especially for the age issue and her background, which, ironically, is the same as the filipino girl, only she's italian! Now it's 4 months we're together.

God bless you
Giovanni

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CARLOS:

WOW, man. I guess my books and audio should come with a warning that "Using these products will give you a crazy and successful love life."

You've got what I'd declare a GOOD case of one-itis. That's where you're hung up on one woman for all the right reasons.

Most guys are caught up in one woman because of their scarcity mindset, but there's another mindset you have to watch out for. It's called the "maximizer" mindset. While it's not always negative, it's also not always positive, too.

A maximizer is the person who shops for the ABSOLUTE best deal on something, and is constantly second-guessing their decisions. They spend more time going after the best decision they can, rather than one that's good enough.

When men do this with women, we learn that the only good relationship is the NEXT one. We always think there's something better around the corner.

However, if you 'definitely don't want to marry' her, and you said that twice, then I suggest you move on. IF that's what you're looking for.

There's also nothing wrong with just having a relationship with someone, as long as they understand where you're coming from.

The point is that you now have that choice.

Just remember my saying: Don't bother going down old roads; they still lead to the same place they did before.

Also, if you want to get her off your mind, go find a new woman with whatever qualities you're looking for. Don't think that you're going to make things easier by falling back into a relationship to relieve your aching heart.

Work through it.

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