Look Who's Playing the Player

I am 32 years old, still single and though women have told me with shaking heads that they don't understand it because I am 'very attractive', I understand it very well.

I lack confidence and I get the sick to my stomach at the thought of approaching women I find attractive. That's the key, really. I have no trouble at all approaching unattractive women. I can waltz right up to them and make funny quips, witty comments and I often find myself on the receiving end of flirtation and affection from the most unattractive women in the room. That's not really what I find most troubling though...

I recently had a situation where I ran into a girl I had once been really attracted to and it turned out she was now divorced. She was a few years younger than me and not quite as far down the road to 'settling in'. I have a house, a career etc. and she's a musician, an artist and spends more time playing in clubs than entertaining with friends at dinner parties (which in my thirties, living in a small town has become my social life). Aside from that we have a lot of common interests and a great rapport. She's also extremely hot.

Anyway, this particular night I had it going on, charming conversation which she was visibly enjoying and we were 'catching up'. Out of the blue, a 'pretty boy'-type in his early twenties, very immature and drunk frat-boy turns around, sees her, puts his arm around her and buts right into the conversation with demeaning remarks about me. He was 'faux-joking' but does it in such a way that it sounds like guy-to-guy ribbing (normally reserved for close buddies).

He then physically spins her around so their backs are facing me and starts introducing her to his friends. I am left standing outside the circle looking like a chump. It should be noted that he's much more good looking than I am - in a Brad Pitt vs Jean Luc Picard sort of way and so were his buddies. I had only met he and his buddies that night when we were introduced by a co-worker. Everything about them shouted 'players' and she seemed to be eating it up.

This is not the first time a girl has been whisked away from me by a more aggressive suitor who gambled (correctly) that I wouldn't risk looking like an ass by causing a scene or saying something.

What should I have done?

- If I said, "Excuse me, we were having a conversation here..." I look like an ass because he was playing it as though we were 'buddies'. Not only that but she was obviously digging the added attention.

- If I push my way into his circle and try to play frat-boy, I look like an idiot because I'm just not the type.

- If I tap her and say, "I'll talk to you later, I guess", he's also won.

In an instant he moved every piece on the chess board and left me with no moves but to walk away. I never saw her again that night but rumour has it she left the 'martini bar' we were at with he and his buddies for a local college-age dance club.

I am enjoying the few recent podcasts I've heard - great insights. Keep it up!

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CARLOS:

Ah, yes. How classic this is.

I'm not making light of your situation, only nodding my head at the frequency that I hear this story.

Guy meets girl. Guy fails to escalate or demonstrate his Alpha Man traits (confidence, sexuality, etc.)

And guy fails to attract woman. Instead, she goes for the guy that actually jump starts her battery.

Women want Excitement.

FUN.

Thrills!

All of which you are not giving her.

And, Frat boy did.

So instead of kicking the dirt, pouting and getting defensive about Frat-boy's behavior, it's time to find the parts of it that work and put them to work for YOU.

You don't have to be a jerk to attract women, but you have to be more assertive than you probably are right now.

Don't mistake assertive for aggressive. They're NOT the same.

I will tell you something that this AMOG probably spotted: He smelled your submissiveness.

Oh yes, he did.

Just like a pack of wild animals cruising through the jungle looking for prey..

I mean, I'm sure you're a very nice guy.

But you are probably aware that Nice Guys do not finish first. No matter what Hollywood or any well-meaning women who have told you otherwise have said.

You see, those women that told you that they "don't understand it" really DO understand why you're not getting the women you ought to. Somewhere, under the surface, they sense that your nice-guy tendencies do not make them feel gut-level attraction.

The bottom line here is that you need to get my Secrets of the Alpha Man program.

Why?

Because that's where you'll learn the mindset you need to handle these situations.

You see, there are an infinite variety of ways you can present yourself to a woman, and most are communicated underneath the surface. It's subtext, as I call it.

If you don't have the REAL game underneath, working in your attitude and your confidence at the level that communicates the right things about you, you'll get blasted by other Alphas out there that can sense your attitude.

By practicing and learning how REAL Game works, using the best parts of who you already are, you'll be able to feel relaxed and resourceful (the "R" in REAL) enough to handle these guys easily.

Get the REAL Game here...

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