Make it Fun

After the teleseminar I asked you via email "How do you make cold approaching fun?"

Also, I'm going over the Approach Program again and on the first part of CD #1 you stated that cold approaches are one of the most intimidating things a guy can do and at the end of CD #1 you stated you need to make this fun or you'll burn out.........Just curious?......How do you make something intimidating fun?

I'm a level 3 approacher. (CARLOS: Note that this is explained in my Approach Women program) 

Cute girl in the elevator......No problem. I got her name and rapport during the 20 seconds I had. Next time we ran into eachother in the elevator she was happy to see me and I continued....unfortunatley all I had was another 20 seconds. Girl at the front desk at the gym............No problem. Hot girl at the Tony Robbins seminar....No problem. Bar/Club......I don't like it. It's like two armies ie(men vs women) getting ready for war. The last time out I did 8 approaches and all sucked. Something about these places gives women ADD. I've had success too, but am I having fun? No. Seeing an attractive girl across the store and approaching her. Will I do it? Yes. Is it fun? No. Same for a coffee shop or Happy Hour.

Like many of your clients I'm looking for that solid girlfriend, but I personally do NOT know anyone who's in a relationship that came about from a cold approach. I've become friends w/ a very attractive MARRIED woman who I made out with in a Nightclub. I did everything right and it was a cold approach. After we got done dancing she ambushed me w/ a kiss to the lips which lead to the makeout, so that was a confidence booster for sure.

We were both there for a mutual friend's B-day and I believe she regretted her behavior. Kinda like let's just forget about this ever happening. But who know's? I'm attending the happy hour that she organized and she set the date to fit my schedule. I will not pursue her though, but she's really hot and I'm hoping she has some hot friends she could introduce me too.

Anyway, I know you have a lot going on, but if you happen to have anything to share on my ?'s then that would be great.

Thx,
- A

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CARLOS:

A lot of this is subjective. No one can be sure what you find personally fun, but you should look in yourself and find ways to make it more relaxed for you to do. If all you have is anxiety, you have to lower yourself to the place where you don’t have anxiety and start there. Don’t start with an already anxious and dreaded activity. You have to begin where you still feel some comfort, and then build on that.

For clubs, it might make more sense for you to go there and deliberately NOT approach women. Talk to guys. Make friends with the staff and bartenders. Make the location feel comfortable first.

Here’s an example of making it fun: Let’s say you can barely make eye contact without feeling weird...

Put pennies in your right pocket. As you walk down the street, transfer one from the right to the left for each girl you make eye contact with, or smile at. Whatever game you can make of it, all the better. I’m sure you can find a way to make it fun if you put your mind to work on HOW, rather than why NOT.

I know plenty of people that got together and got married from cold situations. It is real. Why not make that an opener for you in the bars? “Hey, ladies, have any of you or your friends had a long term relationship with a guy you met in a bar/club?” Make it a fun study experiment. Then build on it.

And if you're reading this right now and want to know how to get your Approach started right, take a look at this: Approach Women NOW

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