Wanting is what dooms you...

QUESTION:

Carlos there are times when you feel that now I have found the woman I have been searching for and you want to waste no time and try to make her yours in no time meaning you will tell her you love her before you even know.

Your feelings for these woman are taking over you, so the next thing you do is tell her that you love her just like that, and she'll tell you that she just want to be friends with you and you don't want that.

So Carlos my friend is in the kind of situation, he would like to know what to do and where he did wrong? I was in his shoes and I told her can't be her friend and lived her alone from there.

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CARLOS ANSWERS:

DELUSION 1) Telling her you "love her" before you "even know" is really an indicator of one thing: INSECURITY. You're trying to "lock in" the relationship so you can breathe easier. But you're killing the sexual tension necessary to make a relationship work. That's why she wants to be "just friends."

Where in the world would anyone get the idea that you can make a woman "yours"?

Guys run around with this fantasy because they're afraid of loss (i.e., scarcity mentality) and they want to make life nice and secure for themselves because they believe that a woman will only stay with him if he can obligate her to him - or somehow OWN her.

Get this good: No one in this world will ever be YOURS. You only a woman on LEASE. She's temporary, for as long as you can stay Alpha with her.


DELUSION 2) Your feelings for her aren't taking you over. Your lack of self-control is letting you act from unhealthy parts of your own thinking. There's only one person in the world that really controls you, and that's YOU. If you can't do that, I strongly suggest a few therapy sessions.

There's only one person at the steering wheel of your life. You do everything in your life by CHOICE my friend.

DELUSION 3) There is no "THE" woman for you. There's only this one and the NEXT one. If either of them are not what you are looking for, there's another one around the corner. (And the same is true of you for her, by the way.)

SOLUTION: Start taking control of your emotions. As a man, you cannot let yourself be "carried away" by your emotions like that. That's a sign of weakness that we only grant to crazy poets and artists. Alpha Men can't get away with this. It's wussy and wimpy.

Huh? What's that?

You want me to tell you HOW to stay in control?

Easy. Just DO IT!

There is no technique for this.

There is no shortcut for this.

There is only DOING it or NOT doing it.

Man up!

I'm not trying to be cruel here, but I see this in many of the kids I teach in the Martial Arts. The one thing the boys need more than anything is to grow a pair and stop being coddled by their parents. Most of the parents even understand this, which is why they bring their kids to me in the first place -  to instill some self-control and self-discipline.

Guess what? I'm not standing over your shoulder to bitch-slap you or man-hug you, or wet nurse your inner child. I'm here creating programs like the Secrets of the Alpha Man to show you how to do that work.

Now get to it!

The Alpha Man steers his life and his own actions. Wussies are the first to blame the "can't control" demon.

And when YOU take the first step that's where REAL change in your life will start.

Take your first step here...

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