Don't try to get revenge on a woman that cheats on you... It's not Alpha

Hi carlos,
  
I have a question, i have been going out with this girl for about 6 months until i found out via a very good friend of mine telling me that he saw her with some other guy holding hands etc.
  
Of course this pissed me off, but i kept my cool, and sent her a message saying " I think we should just be friends., She replied " i assumed we were friends"  My response was " cool, I'm glad we see eye to eye" and haven't spoken to her for a week now.
  
Do you think that I got the upper hand in the breakup? ( 4 days before this she said that she was disappointed she didn't see me on the weekend, and that she wanted to see me, so she couldn't have just assumed we were friends )
  
I believe she is going to be at my sisters wedding next week and she is going to bring her NEW boyfriend with her, What should i do?
  
Must i confront the boyfriend, or her or just ignore her totally, which would work best to piss her off ( i would just like to show her what a big mistake she has done )
  
I await your marvelous advice.
  
D
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CARLOS ANSWERS:

First of all, there is no such thing as "upper hand."

What do you expect would happen when you got this "upper hand"? There would be a choir of angels singing to you? She'd see the error of her ways and jump back into your arms?

Wanting to "defeat" her or prove something like this is actually more of a problem.

Upper hand is all in your mind, my friend. One perception vs. another.

Why do you need to "piss her off"?

I'll tell you why you feel this need: You're still angry at her, and you want some kind of revenge for her hurting you.

Plain and simple.

And it's completely understandable.

What you cannot do is let this anger take over your world-view and think that you'll actually gain self-respect or Alpha Power from "proving" something to this girl. You'll just end up making yourself look pitiful in her eyes the harder you try to orchestrate your 'revenge.'

Anger leads to the dark side, dude. Didn't you watch the "Star Wars" movies?

What you should do is to LET GO of your anger right now. You're hurt and slighted, and what you do next will serve to either reinforce or destroy your healthy Alpha Man frame.

Instead of working to make someone else feel a certain way (which is scarcity thinking - you should have lined up ten replacements by now), why not work to make yourself get over you anger and fear of your own inadequacy?

Isn't that a little more constructive?

Yes, right now there's a battle going on in your mind. One side will be the victor. Only you can choose which side will win.

The Alpha side, the side that knows that you are going to move on to happier hunting grounds, and that this woman obviously wasn't honorable enough for you. Good riddance to bad news, I say.

Or the Beta ("dark") side that knows that it's just twisted anger and fear that makes us need to hurt someone because they've hurt us.

You choose.

And I also recommend you learn how to be the Alpha Man women want by getting immersed right now...

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