A social life is the best thing you can get to attract women and get a girlfriend

Carlos ... I know the sort of behavior you preach works, and works very well. I see evidence for it every day. It works for me, but I never get anywhere. I can't keep it working. I'm almost certain that the reason is my complete lack of a social life.

I can say with conviction that I'm one of the most fun people you'll ever meet. I can go into a completely silent classroom, break it up, and get a bunch of people talking. Everyone knows who I am in a day or two. If I meet you individually, you defiantly wont forget me. I get complimented all the time about how fun, interesting, and enjoyable I was everywhere I go. I can do it because I'm true to myself and what I want to do, just like you say to do.

But, as I said, I have no social life and very very few friends,... try counting on one hand. I don't understand it, nobody ever wants to get together with me again. (And I know I’m not that bad) I've lost more friends in the last year than I've made. Made 1, lost 5. And these aren’t falling outs, they are fade outs because I refuse to call constantly proposing we get together (just like you say), which never happens anyway.

Your products have defiantly made me able to harden myself against the bombardment of negative social rejection and inactivity, and I don’t really think that it is totally me by a far shot. But I have to be doing something's wrong for it to be this bad. I can feel that something is off.

So, my question to you is: Is there anything out there to help the socially awkward/inept/incompetent? Do you have any suggestions. It’s hard to meet women when you don’t have any friends or a social life. You can trick them at first, but they find out soon after.

So, if you can, help me, and many other men.

_________________________

CARLOS:

It's a hard thing for me to diagnose from here, not having met you and experienced your glorious presence, (sarcasm with a wink) However...

Something does have to be "off" as you say.

And if I were to guess what the reason is, I'd bet this:

SINCERITY.

I cover this concept completely in the Alpha Immersion DVD program, but briefly, you're not convincing people that you're genuine and REAL with them.

When people view you as "the entertainer" or "Mr. Fun Guy," you'll often be viewed as yet another channel of reality TV that they can live without.

But also recognize that today's society does not allow a lot of time to form a large network of social ties. It's a symptom of our hurried, harried, and hassled lives that we barely have enough time to focus on ourselves, and for many people it's too much to work at their social network.

Here's the solution:

Start putting work back into maintaining your relationships with people.

It takes EFFORT. And very often, you might find yourself being the one to do all the work.

Tough Turkey.

The alternative - Solitude -  isn't acceptable, so you MUST put the effort in.

People can often sense when a person is a bunch of talk as opposed to someone who will work at the friendship, and they will hang back.

I used to struggle with this, too. It was so much effort to keep up friendships (especially with my married friends). But ultimately it is worth it, even if you only ever meet up with them once or twice every few months.

And you're very right when you say that you can't meet women as easily without any friends. Mostly because a guy with a strong social network just has a better vibe about him.

They say there are three elements to your health - Physical, mental, and social. Many people figure because they are not depressed and not sick, that they are healthy. Not so.

You need a social network. It's one of the things that will help your dating skills more than anything. Primarily because a man without friends has an air of neediness about him that transfers to his game. The second he gets a woman, he over-focuses on her, and forgets the few friends he had.

To help you, start with these steps:

1) Say yes to EVERY social invitation you receive. I get a lot of guys that actually get a lot of requests to go out, but they're so "dug in" at home, they let inertia stop them from going out.

If you get a call at 11:00 at night, you go out.

If you get an invitation to play checkers in the park, you go out.

2) Get involved in as many social groups as you can.

Join a local outdoor club, or a hiking group, or a chess club. Whatever.

Your next girl might be the relative or friend of someone in one of these classes. Or the friend of another friend.

You can't know.

All you can do is expose yourself to the possibilities.

3) Get out of your damn house!

I'm amazed by how many guys spend 80-90% of their free time at home doing isolated activities and wonder why they are friendless.

Go out and read at the park.

Go out and surf the net on your laptop at the local coffee shop.

Just GO OUT!

Chance of meeting a new friend at home: 0%
Chance of meeting a new friend out in the real world: As high as you want to make it.

Focus on your social network. Put the effort in.

And if you need more advice on the Alpha Lifestyle, take a look here

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men