Thursday, November 23, 2006

Long distance? Or just scarcity?

comment: Your advice seems the best out there. After buying David D's and Mystery, I found you focus the best on inner game. You deal best with real situations. I been literally broke (i owe parents money), since finding your podcasts. But I will look into buying your products soon like February.

My question is over long-distance relationships. You said they don't work. Why? I have been talking to a girl over long distance for over 4 months. For the longest time I thought it wouldn't last, but it has. We had only spent 2 days prior to that together. She has told me I love you, which I later reciprocated. I do need to work on spicing it up with cocky returns which your last email mentioned. I like this girl, but know I must not let it get to my head. Recently I have been boring and too nice. So I will fix that.

My other question is how does one respond to this over the phone or aim, "what else will I get from you other than a massage when we see each other?" It seems cocky funny is a good response, but it can't be used all the time. I think. How do I and should I give hints of what I'd do? Hopefully I will see this in a future newsletter.

Peace,
Reb
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CARLOS:

Well, LDRs (Long Distance Relationships) can work, but it all depends on how you define "work."

Look, there are some realities you cannot overlook:

1) If you are not seeing a person regularly, both quantity and quality, you are not getting the REAL picture of what she's like. Isolated get-togethers are not a good way to get to know someone - if you're looking for something longer-term. But if you're only looking for the short term, that could suit you just fine.

2) Being far away from someone SIMULATES excitement and desire to your nervous system, just because you cannot just go over and watch a movie with her, or get together whenever you want.

Take it from a guy who's been there - unless you already have a bunch of girls in your vicinity that you can date, you have no business going after ones that are further away.

It's scarcity thinking of the worst kind.

As for your second question, just have her tell you what SHE would want. Don't answer unless she satisfies your needs:

"What's in it for me, honey? Here, I'll give you a challenge. Write me an essay on 'what I want you to do with me after you're done with the massage.' I'm not saying it will come true, but I'll definitely consider it... :)"

Get creative... but don't get obsessed.

And if you want to know how to really handle your dating life the right way, download the Dating Black Book by clicking HERE.

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