Long distance? Or just scarcity?

comment: Your advice seems the best out there. After buying David D's and Mystery, I found you focus the best on inner game. You deal best with real situations. I been literally broke (i owe parents money), since finding your podcasts. But I will look into buying your products soon like February.

My question is over long-distance relationships. You said they don't work. Why? I have been talking to a girl over long distance for over 4 months. For the longest time I thought it wouldn't last, but it has. We had only spent 2 days prior to that together. She has told me I love you, which I later reciprocated. I do need to work on spicing it up with cocky returns which your last email mentioned. I like this girl, but know I must not let it get to my head. Recently I have been boring and too nice. So I will fix that.

My other question is how does one respond to this over the phone or aim, "what else will I get from you other than a massage when we see each other?" It seems cocky funny is a good response, but it can't be used all the time. I think. How do I and should I give hints of what I'd do? Hopefully I will see this in a future newsletter.

Peace,
Reb
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CARLOS:

Well, LDRs (Long Distance Relationships) can work, but it all depends on how you define "work."

Look, there are some realities you cannot overlook:

1) If you are not seeing a person regularly, both quantity and quality, you are not getting the REAL picture of what she's like. Isolated get-togethers are not a good way to get to know someone - if you're looking for something longer-term. But if you're only looking for the short term, that could suit you just fine.

2) Being far away from someone SIMULATES excitement and desire to your nervous system, just because you cannot just go over and watch a movie with her, or get together whenever you want.

Take it from a guy who's been there - unless you already have a bunch of girls in your vicinity that you can date, you have no business going after ones that are further away.

It's scarcity thinking of the worst kind.

As for your second question, just have her tell you what SHE would want. Don't answer unless she satisfies your needs:

"What's in it for me, honey? Here, I'll give you a challenge. Write me an essay on 'what I want you to do with me after you're done with the massage.' I'm not saying it will come true, but I'll definitely consider it... :)"

Get creative... but don't get obsessed.

And if you want to know how to really handle your dating life the right way, download the Dating Black Book by clicking HERE.

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

Should you be 'cocky and funny' all the time?

Carlos,

Hey, I have been reading your newsletters and have found myself in a bit of a bad situation lately. I am one of those attractive dudes that always has good luck with the ladies (at first) but problems start showing up with time and relationships.

I have been dating a girl for 6 months now but the last week with her has been a living hell. Before I get to something more specific let me say that when I met her I was extremely cocky bordering arrogant with humor thrown in. She has complained about me being cocky since about the first week.

Now, I hear time and time again how she wants to know where she stands and that she loves me regardless of my being cocky. She tells me that she would like a "nice" Stan instead of a cocky one. I quess I need a biiiaaatch slap from you because today for the first time in 6 months I sent a long e-mail (not mushy - but just a bit too revealing). I hope that I can be forgiven for this Alpha Man sin.

I am also finding it harder to be away from here-losing some touch with my inner game. I am getting a big case of oneitis and I need that slap. It is just so tempting to buy into her consistent discloser saying that it would be easier to be with a "nice" man. However, her ex was extremely dominant to her (almost abusive) and she stayed with him for 10 years.

She has also talked about her dating history and all of the "nice" guys were flushed by her. So my problem is that she says that she wants to know where she stands in the relationship and that my cockiness is the reason for all of the fighting.

At what stage of the relationship does a man ease up (if at all)? We have been fighting (a lot) and I would like to break the cycle and just have a dating situation that is more fun and light like it used to be. Carlos I am also curious about this.

This girl has confessed her love for me almost on a daily basis (between the fighting) but I have slipped up a few times and told her that I loved her back. Yes, at first I told her "you everything that I never thought that I wanted" and she loved it but now it is just "I love you too". Danger Will Robinson Danger. Can a man that has got the girl keep her even after a few wuss attacks (long letter, one too many calls, I love you, etc.).

Any suggestions on recovery?

Stan

______________________
CARLOS:

First of all, you guys are thinking WAY too black & white.

I never told you that you couldn't tell a woman how you felt ... just not in the first 10-12 dates at least!

The most common mistake is this:

• Boy meets girl.

• Girl likes boy, but plays it cool

• Boy likes girl, but is drawn in to infatuation for her because she's the rabbit and he's the hound.

• Boy goes overboard and starts pulling "Rom-Com" (romantic comedy) moves, like telling her she's his destiny, and trying to CONVINCE her to like him rather than SHOW her why she should.

• Girl loses interest because he wasn't enough of a challenge, and failed all the "needy/clingy/desperate" tests she put in front of him.

• Boy becomes despondent and heartbroken. Stalks woman until restraining order goes into effect.

Okay, so the last one is an add-on of mine, but you'd think this was the end of 90% of the promising early date situations out there.

Look, after you've been seeing someone for more than a few months, it's okay to let her know that you love her or care about her. Just don't gush and come across like a weepy, overly sensitive wuss. Be a man about it!

Tell her your feelings, but do it in a way that shows you don't care if she feels the same way. THAT is how you tell a woman you dig her. So she understands that you're in charge of your own reality.

If you leave her wanting for too long, she's start to get nervous and test you even more because she's getting NO reassurances from you. That's not so good.

We do what we do as Alpha Men because it's the right model for today's modern masculine man. NOT because we're trying to manipulate and control someone out of their insecurities.

BIG difference.

Being cocky all the time is annoying.

Yeah, that's the truth, all you big fans of "cocky and funny." It can be downright grating on a person's nerves to have this constant mouthy, cocky routine running non-stop.

Cocky and funny, or tease-to-please as I developed and enhanced it, is only effective as a SPICE. Not the main dish.

You do it every so often to build up some playful sexual tension. Don't go crazy with it.

Make sense?

If she remains difficult to be with when you're a more calm individual (meaning that it looks like she needs the constant conflict to stay interested), you really should consider moving on. This is not a person you can be with over the long term.

Look, it sounds like your calibration is all off on this area, and I want to put you back on track. I filmed my Alpha Immersion seminar and included all kinds of detailed information on how to get women by understanding true social dynamics.

If you find yourself confused by all these strategies and pickup tactics, you need to learn how to apply REAL Game.

Get the Secrets.

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men