When women avoid you...
Hey Carlos,
I've been getting some strange female behavior in my martial arts classes. When I am there I am pretty aloof as I am there to train, and there isn't a lot of talk time between beginning and end. But we have a neutral/platonic ritual where we walk around the room and touch knuckles to everyone in the class. This usually goes well, but certain women in the class, usually the attractive ones, are the only ones who avoid ME, while being fine with the other men in the room.
I am the only black guy in the class if that even matters, but I don't see why it should. One gal was doing that for a while, then would start talking to me about class, so we'd chat, and the other day she's like "tell me you name," and told me hers. I tend to really take it slow in this situation since approaching just isn't the focus there. I took your advice seriously about learning to defend yourself and train continuously in krav maga 3 times a week, plus 1 conditioning class, in addition to working one on one with a master teaching me Filipino martial arts, escrima stick and knife fighting.
So yeah I'm serious and focused here, but I don't understand the avoidance. It's not the end of the world, or a problem per se, but I would like to understand what dynamic is at play here, and the Alpha reponse to it. Thanks a million coach.
-Mario
______________________
CARLOS XUMA'S ADVICE:
You sound a bit sensitive to this situation.
I suggest you make a point to go over and approach 1 (ONE) of these women and try to bond on a friendship level with her. Leave any desire for her sexually out of the equation. By breaking the ice with one of them, I expect you’ll be able to get more attention from the others, too.
My suspicion is you’re still giving off a different vibe to these women as opposed to the rest. There’s nothing different about them than the rest, no matter what you might think. So they are feeling treated differently on some subtle level.
And, no, race really doesn't have anything to do with this situation.
I also suggest you explain your mindset to them when you talk to them. They probably think you're a bit aggro and stand-offish. It's good to be focused, but you also have to be human, right?
I've been getting some strange female behavior in my martial arts classes. When I am there I am pretty aloof as I am there to train, and there isn't a lot of talk time between beginning and end. But we have a neutral/platonic ritual where we walk around the room and touch knuckles to everyone in the class. This usually goes well, but certain women in the class, usually the attractive ones, are the only ones who avoid ME, while being fine with the other men in the room.
I am the only black guy in the class if that even matters, but I don't see why it should. One gal was doing that for a while, then would start talking to me about class, so we'd chat, and the other day she's like "tell me you name," and told me hers. I tend to really take it slow in this situation since approaching just isn't the focus there. I took your advice seriously about learning to defend yourself and train continuously in krav maga 3 times a week, plus 1 conditioning class, in addition to working one on one with a master teaching me Filipino martial arts, escrima stick and knife fighting.
So yeah I'm serious and focused here, but I don't understand the avoidance. It's not the end of the world, or a problem per se, but I would like to understand what dynamic is at play here, and the Alpha reponse to it. Thanks a million coach.
-Mario
______________________
CARLOS XUMA'S ADVICE:
You sound a bit sensitive to this situation.
I suggest you make a point to go over and approach 1 (ONE) of these women and try to bond on a friendship level with her. Leave any desire for her sexually out of the equation. By breaking the ice with one of them, I expect you’ll be able to get more attention from the others, too.
My suspicion is you’re still giving off a different vibe to these women as opposed to the rest. There’s nothing different about them than the rest, no matter what you might think. So they are feeling treated differently on some subtle level.
And, no, race really doesn't have anything to do with this situation.
I also suggest you explain your mindset to them when you talk to them. They probably think you're a bit aggro and stand-offish. It's good to be focused, but you also have to be human, right?
alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men
posted by Carlos Xuma at 10:15 AM 
- ATOM
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