CRAZY WOMAN DRAMA:

I know you are great at covering the multitude of women and dating techniques necessary to be an alpha man, and following on from your terrific ebook 'Secrets Of The Alpha Man' and some info I listened to on your podcasts online (nice work, great for listening to in the office, it'll be Advanced Audio Coaching next).

I would like you to tackle issues on dealing with 2 Criteria.

(1) I have dated several single mothers, and recently one who is separated with a husband lingering like a bad smell. She has moved on, invested a heck of a lot of time in her house and life since moving out but not divorced yet, still going through the child custody. This guy was abusive to her.

She has 2 kids (8 and 9) who are nice, however the nine yr old son suffers from ADHD and I couldn't be around him as he is for his father in the divorce. How would you approach a relationship like this, my theory is to keep it as light as possible and be patient with the girl and give her more space than what is between an airhead's ears. I have been dating other people off and on during this.


(2) She is also a girl with a wild past, one of her closest male friends who has a child by / with her best friend is a very disruptive influence, and her and her best friend both get on with him very well. He has been inside prison for many years off and on, and when I first met him he had been in a bad fight with several guys.

What a first impression meeting him on a sofa covered in blood with severe cuts and bruises all over him! He is best described as psychotic in nature, he has just got out of prison again and is on a charge AGAIN for assaulting a prison officer. He has no money, no fixed home and no job and some of the things he gets up to would shock you. Anyway regarding the kids (my ex's and her friend's) he is fine with them but I find that a little worrying that my ex allows him to play with them.

Furthermore she talks about his antics like they are almost cool, she is 27 with 2 kids! He is seeing the other girl as he fathered her child, but my girl's need to talk about him (plus she slept with him as a teenager once) is indicative of some of the stuff you bring up about 'she talks about another guy'.

(SHORTENED FOR LENGTH)

However, to highlight points of your programme I hope you can go over this bad boy / girl addiction and girl's desire for drama, in addition to the single mother / separated dating area, which generally is considered a no-no I understand.


Thanks King Carlos

S
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CARLOS:

WHOAH!


Normally, I don't ever like to criticize someone's choices in women. That's a personal thing.

But here I gotta make an exception - and a strong recommendation.

Mostly because our choices say a lot about who we are on the inside.

Your life is the sum total of the choices you've made up to this point.

That's very powerful. I hope you read that and think about it a few times before going on.

First of all, I'm going to suggest you get as far away from this dysfunctional family unit as you POSSIBLY can.

I did not detect one thing in all of what you said that would make this beneficial to you right now. You'd be in the middle of some really scary sh*t, cochise.

A guy covered in blood?

Look, we all catch someone in a bad time, but there's also a possibility this is worse than BAD.

It could be dancing with your own mortality.

Have you ever had one of those experiences where you're in a predicament, a situation that is scary and threatening to you? And that situation has you thinking on the inside:

"Holy crap! I gotta get out of this... I'd do anything to put things back to the way they were. If I could just have made a better choice a few minutes ago and gotten out of this..."

Well, this may be one of those.

This guy is a danger. To you and your lifestyle, whatever it may be. He will NOT be a positive influence on you. I realize that you haven't said anything about dating her, but the impact these people could have on you by association is enough.

He has NOTHING to lose with his behavior, and that may mean that he'll go 'psychotic' on you sometime, bud. Not a pretty concept.

Now, let's get to what you asked:

If this woman makes these choices for herself and her children, what does that say about her?

Well, first of all, while there are some women who want this kind of guy, most - thankfully - do not.

The psychotic guy you mention is just an extreme case of the bad-boy.

Women have an inner need for psychological and emotional energy. They want to ride the roller coaster of emotions and sensation. A lot of younger girls are what we lovingly refer to as the "stimulus junkies." They need this kind of treatment to satisfy something that was missing in their childhood, something they crave.

Sometimes it's just being caught up in this whirlwind. Sometimes it's just their low self-esteem.

But bad-boys have a potent force of "I'm going to do what I want in this world" that cannot be denied.

And to a woman, this looks a lot like the strong kind of guy she's normally attracted to. She just doesn't know what she's in for in the long run until she's addicted.

And that's just what it's like.

An addiction.

As for single moms, hey, there can be a lot of fun there. But if you're looking for something long-term, watch out. You've got a lot of baggage to handle. Just a short list:

- She's already got a child with another man.

- He's going to be in all of your lives for a very long time.

- She will always put her child ahead of you. (Which is much easier to handle if the child is your own. Trust me from experience here.) And let me say that another way - You will RARELY ever be her total priority.

- She's may be looking for another romantic interest, but after she has a child, she's more concerned with their survival. That will make her choice more financial/provider than you might like.

Single moms can be fine, but understand what you are getting out of the situation, as well as her. If it works for you, then fine.

But don't choose single moms just because you're lowering your standards. Or because she's lowered hers.

Understand?


Oh, and I want to caution everyone out there that an Alpha Man is not a "bad boy."

And for all you would-be Alphas out there, the most important thing you can do for your quality of life and your success is to choose your friends and the people you surround yourself with. And be VERY VERY picky.

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