DATING ADVICE FOR MEN QUESTION:

I know letting "loser boy" get the best of you is a sin, but when it does
happen how can you overcome it?

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CARLOS:

There's one thing that's completely under your control and that's how you talk to yourself.

Not "Crazy homeless guy on the street" talk to yourself, but "inside your head" talk to yourself.

We all tell ourselves things after an event in our lives to help us make sense of what happened. If I spill spaghetti in my lap at a restaurant, I might tell myself that:

1) I'm having a bad day, and this just figures

2) I'm a klutz and I need to improve my manual dexterity

3) I'm a loser, what kind of an idiot spills his meal in his lap

4) I'm just human, and this was one of those dumb things that can happen

5) This is pretty damn funny, and I've got an opportunity to show that I'm not an insecure dweeb by having a little fun with this...


You get the picture... YOU decide what meaning you're going to get from the results you get. You also can choose what kind of message you want to send to your nervous system about your performance and value. If you're used to sending negative "loserboy" messages all the time, you're going to have to work a little harder to break this bad habit and start steering yourself over to the right message.

The key here is PERSISTENCE.

Most guys try to do all those stupid affirmations, and they get very little success.

Why?

Because affirmations are a low-investment option that rarely pay off. (I discuss this in detail in my new program, by the way.)

The key to keeping yourself on the right track is what we call the "warrior spirit" in the Martial Arts.

It's an attitude that nothing... ABSOLUTELY NOTHING will stop you from getting what you want from life.

And NOTHING will ever bring your attitude down.

It's just about re-programming.

If you walk on a certain path in the woods every day, over the course of a year, it's going to be very worn and easy to follow.

In fact, if you were told that there is a shorter way to cut through this forest, one with a better view, and that passes by an apple tree with the most delicious fruit you've ever tasted, you'd probably be hard pressed to start a new path to find it through all the bushes and thorns.

If there's a choice between this easy path and this promised wonderful path that's actually easier once you try to find the way to it, you'll probably stay on the one that's most COMFORTABLE and FAMILIAR.

And this is how so many guys' lives end in mediocrity.

They don't find the courage and the energy and the warrior spirit to go after this trail. They'd rather take the easy way.

The new trail would just be too much trouble.

And then the rationalization starts in.

My path isn't so bad...

I bet that apple tree isn't what they're cracking it up to be... The apples are probably rotten ...

I still think my path is shorter...

I don't need a better path...


Do you see how you set yourself up for a life of getting less than what you deserve?

It's all in the way you talk to yourself.

And you can find out how to control this inner voice HERE...

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