ALPHA MAN QUESTION:

I have a few questions for you which I think many guys are also probably wondering about. Now, I feel much more confident these days. I have also become more dominant and assertive. I see myself taking more risks, and I always recite the phrase "I am CONFIDENT, but I am not PERFECT" and that helps me out a lot especially when I make mistakes (I wont get down on myself as much).

My body language is strong, and I walk like I am the shit. I have noticed a conflict with my environment however. I have noticed that people are kind of resenting me a little bit. Its almost as if they are intimidated by me.

Some insecure guys will look at me like they want to kill me or something and girls get nervous around me a lot. My question is if this kind of thing is normal when developing my strong male self confidence? What types of changes can someone expect in their environment after they become that dominant, assertive male?

As for my next question, I have been using cocky/funny and teasing girls lately, and I have come to the conclusion that a lot of girls are very insecure in this world and teasing and cocky/funny doesn't work on a lot of girls (especially the insecure ones). I would probably estimate that cocky/funny would probably work on 3 or 4 out of 10 girls. What do you think about this realization Carlos, is it pretty accurate?


P. S. - I am 19, but a lot of people mistake me for being 16 and I kind of think that they try to take advantage of me and when they see that I am strong and assertive it kind of shocks them.
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CARLOS:

Actually, in your age group, MOST of the people are insecure and shaken by someone who has any level of self-confidence.

There's one of two things that will happen with respect to this level of confidence:

1) If you can keep it at a healthy level, you will alienate some people just because they will want you to conform to their own ideas about how you should behave.

I remember that when I moved from the east coast out to the Midwest, man I was almost beaten and run out of town. I was a cocky little bastard at the time, and I didn't realize that my New York attitude didn't fly in those little podunk towns of Kansas and Nebraska.

Eventually, that taming of my spirit and soul came at a price too heavy to pay. My game with women was awesome for a while, but then I started second-guessing myself, thinking that maybe I WASN'T the great guy I thought I was.

You guys know the end of this sad tale. I lost all my game with women and became every girl's be-otch. I even had one of those obsessive breakups with my girlfriend that became a classic "Wussy-man drives away woman" story.

What I needed to learn was the social grace to adjust my approach for my new social environment.

2) You may become self-righteous and a bit arrogant in the process.

That's when self-confidence does become a bit too much, and you go too far with your confidence by stepping on other people's self-esteem.

In my experience, as long as you stay aware, Number 2 rarely happens to you. It's fear of Number 2 that drives most men into a weak and spineless existence.

I live my life by the philosophy that it is far better to ask for forgiveness than permission. Most people go through life never fully realizing their abilities and talents because they're just too afraid to step out from the crowd.


So where is that fine line between being a confident guy and an asshole?

Unfortunately, it's as gray as it can be.

And it moves all the time, depending on the social dynamics you're involved in.

As for using teasing or cocky/funny on women, yes, you can run into problems with girls. And by "girls" I mean the younger ladies between 18 and 24 or so. (Obviously, the younger you go, the more insecure.)

So at the age range you're probably pursuing, yes, teasing a bit may not have the effect you want to achieve. The only girls you can use cocky/funny are usually the more attractive girls and the more confident girls.

(Which are usually two different groups.)

You tease and challenge the pretty girls because they're used to having their asses kissed by guys left and right. You have to demonstrate High Social Value when you approach women.

So what you have to learn how to do is morph a bit.

What? You don't know what a "morph" is?

Do you remember those Mighty Morphing Power Rangers?

I never watched it, but the "Morphing" part was that they could change physical form.

Well, a morph is someone who can adapt and change their personality to fit the social situation they're in.

That's what I want to start teaching you guys how to become.

Now I'm already in the studio working on the next Audio Coaching Session, so I won't be able to sneak it in there, but I might get it into the new Approach Coach series.

Now, in answer to your question about is this normal ...

YES, unfortunately it is.

Not everyone can travel this path that you're on. Truly dominant Alpha Men are RARE. Most guys buckle under the pressure of having to talk to women, much less not sucking up to them.

They're afraid of these mystical and strange creatures ... and they treat them as sacred.

Most women do not want this kind of treatment, and the ones that do are the ones that would make you MISERABLE for the REST OF YOUR LIFE.

You will probably alienate some guys because they're heading down a different path than you.

When you choose to be an Alpha who goes after what he wants, you immediately put yourself in the top 10 percent of all guys.

Some people think of it as that "lonely at the top" thing, but you know what?

The air up here is so much clearer, and the view is better, too. Plus, you're in good company.

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