DATING ADVICE FOR MEN:

Hey Carlos,

As I sat thinking of my new successes, and how much easier the drama of this dating thing is getting, I do realize something that is still kind of difficult that I am sure other guys might find challenging as well. The question that came to mind is: What do you do when you're in an enviornment (such as work or school or whatever) that you used to be a pure AFC in, but now you want to turn it around.

Like for me, I may be different, but feel as though my reputation at work is all ready ruined and it would stop me from any success with the ladies there. I mean I can kind of see it at bs because just being at the store last night on base, a girl from work waved at me, I approached, asked what's up. She was drinking like I was and chilling. Told me she was having a little party in her room, and guess who got invited? But still there are other times that it seems like you're all ready finished before you start because of previous impressions you may have made.

Mainly the kind of impressions I've made is the silent, unconfident type. Any ideas on turning this scenario into a man's favor? I am sure it is the results that they were getting in their social circles which were unsatisfactory, that compelled men to first seek your material, so they can change it.

Thanks for your work as always. It really makes a difference.

-M
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CARLOS:

Ah, yes, re-establishing your reputation can be tough. There's the old "once a chump, always a chump" stigma.

You're right. It's a long hard road to changing what people think of you, because they already experienced the "old" you, and they believe that.

Take note guys:
This is why you cannot be anything less than a confident, capable man when meeting a woman for the first time and dating her those first few times. First impressions STICK.

And it's also why you can't easily reclaim an old girlfriend that you chumped out on. We become very attached to our psychological impression of someone. I believe this was an evolutionary defense mechanism against forming bonds with people who would not help us stay alive.

So the key here is NOT to try.

1) If you try, you look like a suck-up. A sycophant. A toadie. And you'll find it even HARDER to show them you have changed. After all, if you're really confident now, why would you need them to see it? You'd just BE it.

2) People will only change their opinion of you by long exposure to your new habits and behaviors.

But the good news is that it DOES happen. Just be CONSISTENT.

That's a lot of what I teach in the Alpha Man program.

You can't be on one day and off the other. You must be the MAN every day.

You must demonstrate High Social Value (HSV) in every social situation you encounter, both with men AND women.

High social value isn't some vague concept. It's a literal definition of your value to your friends. And it can only be SHOWN through action. Never words. (Unless those words are indirect.)

I'll cover this concept in the future in the Audio Coaching, and maybe a bit in the Podcast, too.

But if you want to turn this in your favor, you have to utilize the "silent" part of what you say they thought of you. You were once silent, but you must now become vocal.

Demonstrate that you have opinions.

Demonstrate that you do not take sh*t from any man, woman, child, or small furry mammal.

Demonstrate High Social Value in your interactions with others. This means not taking ANY kind of verbal abuse. (And you'd really be amazed to know just how much verbal abuse is being doled out through the use of put-downs and sarcasm.)

The best thing to do is to isolate and destroy. Find one or two people that make good sense to turn around and work on them. Isolate them, and then begin to impress on them your newfound power and social strength that you've learned from the Alpha Man program.

Don't try to do this in a group setting or situation.

One by one, they'll come around.

C

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