Why do women like Bad Boys?

C wrote in this weekend from the shores of Hawaii to give us this little insight into the Bad Boy persona...

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Attention all intelligent men, there is a crisis at hand – beautiful eligible women are being swept away by beasts masquerading as real men.

Women are often attracted to “bad boys” because they are aggressively pursued by them.

What women want is to be wooed and wowed by men. Unfortunately, too many women are falling prey to these “thug loves” -they usually end up emotionally and sometimes even physically abused.

These so-called “bad boys” are winning women over simply because they are assertive, confident, cocky, and competitive. In of itself these are not all bad traits, but mixed with the definition of a bad boy: selfish, dishonest, arrogant, abusive, irresponsible…

The bad boy image is not something that men should strive to achieve. Once you’re labeled as a bad boy, it’s a hard persona to shake.

Basically, everyone is walking around like an advertisement for who she or he is.
First impressions are vitally important. If all someone sees is cocky and arrogant – than boom that’s your brand.

A woman I met recently at a cocktail party leaned into me, eyed me coyly, and uttered in a somewhat slurred and raspy voice, “why is it I always fall for the bad boys.” She then proceeded to tell me about an arrogant garish man she met at a café in London.” I was sitting alone enjoying my tea, when James and I met. He looked at me and I melted, he then said “what are you looking at you stuck-up American Bitch.” That was it she said, in an even more slurred and vacant tone “I was in love.” For added effect, she feigned fainting.

I found this fascinating; if a guy said that to me I would perhaps be speechless, (it happens) I would certainly not be attracted to him- but rather disgusted. I have never felt any frisson of attraction with an overtly bad boy.

Her story rapidly deteriorated. They ended up dating for 6 months, he treated her horrible and it finally ended when he hit her. Awful. So yes, some women will fall for and stay with bad boys. Obviously, these women lack sound judgment and have major self-esteem issues. Hopefully, not anyone’s ultimate goal in a date, even if you are only looking for a one night stand. Sure, you may score, but…

Most women do not want to be crudely manipulated by men. That’s not to say that all manipulation is bad – it just needs to be subtle and caressing like a masseur- not whipped into submission like a hunk of abalone...


Men are so much more alluring when they have a combination of confidence intertwined with that cocky/ funny thing and frosted with a sort of sexy vulnerability. Women do not want to be with men who are known players. Being with a man who is a player does not satisfy our ego.

I like well-rounded men that have a bit of a twisted sense of humor, are inherently kind, interested and versed on political, psychological, and spiritual matters.

Oh yea, and a bit naughty…

You see, it’s all about the fine art of balance.

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