ALPHA MAN DATING ADVICE FOR MEN QUESTION:

First I must say great show...

On to the subject at hand. I have long hair, and I mean LONG hair.
(link to picture enclosed from when I was a lead singer in a band 4
years ago, and took pictures of my "on stage" appearance) My hair means
a lot to me, it embodies my passions and represents my unique
perspective which I freely share with those I feel will appreciate it.

I would imagine I already know the answer to this but I want to confirm
or modify what I already assume.

When I wear my hair it should make me more mysterious, look clean and
neat and not "girly." Am I missing something? How do females not so
attracted to men with long hair find it most acceptable? Just enough to
open their mental block enough to let me in for a moment.


Another issue. I am an artist, a creator, musician, and thinker. I have
tried to express this in my clothing, thinking that impressions are
everything and use anything I can as a conversation starter. I am also
on a college campus.

I have airbrushed artwork directly onto my jeans in the past and I
wanted to do a series of shirts as well. After reading your brief
section on clothing I fear I may be going to far to "stand out."

Is their any need to express the fact that I am an creative individual
with my clothing through art applied on it? Is it detrimental do my
appearance to occasionally wear such art?


tee-shirts and jeans? or all "casual dress." Tee-shirts tucked in to
show my shapely ASSets?

Answer when you have time, because I have time and still need to read,
and absorb, the rest of your DBB.

Thanks
-B
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CARLOS:


First of all, there are NO ISSUES.

Issues are all imagined. Most of them are just our minds playing tricks on us, trying to tell us we have problems when we have none.

Most of us, if we were taken to a clinic where people are dying from obscure forms of cancer, would have a new appreciation of just how good we have it right now.

Suddenly our issues and problems would all disappear.

Sorry for that heavy dose of reality, but I just want to keep things in perspective. :)

I appreciate your approach to life. You're a genuine renaissance man, like myself. I'm a musician, an artist, a poet/writer, and I value my ability to think freely and openly. I don't follow the mainstream.

But one thing that is a bit of a dilemma is how far we make ourselves LOOK different so we can BE different.

If you have an "image" because you're in a band, fine. That's not ego, unless you become ATTACHED to that image as your identity.

Think about that for a few minutes. It's not really California psycho-babble. It's true to life.

Don't try to look different to make other people notice your differences. Then it comes from a place of insecurity.

But feel free to look the way you want to look, not because other people need you to look a certain way. Don't do it from defiance or pretense, do it from calm security.

As far as your hair, just remember that there are women everywhere who have their "taste" regarding hair length. Some will like it, some won't.

Who cares?

Just present yourself as a self-confident man who knows what he wants and where he's going.

Don't try to chase whatever mechanisms she has in place to "let you in." That's not your job. The best you can do is to BE YOU so well that she won't be able to resist you.

Don't get inside her head. There's already enough going on there. Just stay in your own and do it well.

I think you should continue to wear your art, but don't try too hard to make a statement with it. Maybe wear something every so often that illustrates your ability (forgive the intentional pun.) And be VERY modest when explaining that it's your work.

"Yeah, that's something I did a few months back. I like to make clothing that has an artistic flair. So, anyway, you said you were from Oregon? What part?"

Women will love the artistic ability you have, and your modesty even more.

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