How do you keep good boundaries, but win friends and influence people?

First of all, thanks for putting some great products and info out there. Maybe you should do an article on time management, I'm actually having trouble fitting all my dates into my schedule lol! Which is a definite first for me as I always used to end up being 'just a good friend' or worse still completely loosing out, guess I was a nice guy eh!

Thanks again Carlos. I do have a couple of questions though...

I'm in the process of reading the Secrets of the Alpha Man eBook again, having listened to the Secrets of the Alpha Man program a few times over. I have reached a segment in the eBook which suggests reading Dale Carnegie's How to Win Friends and Influence People, which is a fantastic book and a great recommendation.

I have read this book before, although it was a long time ago, now I'm reading it again. With my new knowledge so to speak, I'm asking myself quite a few questions with regards to the content. One of which is this:

It states ... 'do not criticize others'. Whilst I know that criticism is bad and can show low self esteem (trying to make yourself look better whilst lowering other people etc.), is it not sometimes required to state that something will not be tolerated - something against your values etc.

How do you go about treading this fine line of standing up for your values without criticizing others' actions around you - both socially and in the work place (I am a leader of a small team).

It also mentions in How to Win Friends and Influence People about conversation (I know you have just released a CD set about this and will be purchasing it after I have completed the Alpha Immersion program etc), and about how you should always listen to other people. Well I went on a date last night and whilst I had a great time, I was spending a lot of time asking questions about her. Whilst doing that I think I missed a few chances of ramping up the attraction, she did ask to see me again but I think I could have ramped it up a little more!

What is a good balance and how do you work it?

Cheers,
Steve
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CARLOS ANSWERS:

First off, good job with using my program to start up a social life like this. It's a good feeling, isn't it? Knowing that you have control over your life, and YOU have the ability to pack your calendar with as many great women as you care to.

As for criticizing others, keep in mind that monitoring and protecting your self-respect and dignity is very different from criticism. When someone really goes overboard and commits this kind of infraction against you, then you must put them back in their place. If you value their friendship or acquaintance, that does not mean you let them walk all over you.

You simply (and politely) give them the opportunity to fix this error on their own. I show you how to do this in my new Alpha Man Conversation & Persuasion program.


As for your second question, you're asking how you could do better than success???

(SLAP!)

C'mon, you can always do better, but don't get caught in the trap of over-analysis. That's how most guys blow themselves right out of their Alpha Mindset. When you first get going with any self-development, it's a danger that you're going to start realizing how many areas you can improve on, and that serves to further justify a sense of inadequacy.

Don't go there.

You have good results, and you need to let those sink in before you start getting all critical about your good game.

As the wise man said, "Happiness is learning how to want what you already have..."

If you'd like to get started on the path to better communication with women, you need to see my latest program:
Alpha Man Communication & Persuasion.

You can get it here....

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men