ANOTHER MISTAKE YOU CAN AVOID:

I have a really good question that I am curious about how you would suggest approaching it.

What if she complains 'you don't say you love me' ?

While this is a simple question, there are several potentially different case scenarios here:

1) She confessed her love to you once or twice, then she pops the question above.

2) She has confessed her love multiple times (and you are interested in her), and somehow begins to feel insecure about your own feelings. I realize you could brush it off with humor but if things begin to get serious for her due to her uncertainty, she may just shrug and say “no, really, I never know how YOU feel about this.” how do you respond?

I want to emphasize that the whole idea here is to keep things under control WITHOUT upsetting her. What do you do to keep the attraction WITHOUT hurting her feelings (especially in light of the fact that the longer you brush off answering this, the more serious it is going to get for her in terms of her uncertainty about your feelings.)

Another case scenario (less heavy than the earlier) is she told you several times she liked you, and then asks you if you like her. What do you say?


Last scenario: she told you several times she liked you, and then she says “you never say that you like me”. Etc etc. How do you answer this?

Looking forward for your answer

E.
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CARLOS:


My big concern here is why you feel you need to keep things "under control," and then why you think you need to avoid upsetting her?

Both are mistakes.

First off, my initial question is how much of what you gave me in "scenarios" actually came to pass. (?) Guys (but even more so, women) are notorious for thinking up scenarios in their heads and not having any basis in reality. Rather than go for reality, we'd rather "figure it all out" in our heads.

Human interaction is organic, and very spotty at best. You can NEVER predict with any certain accuracy what a person will really do when you talk to them, so you must develop these skills in REAL LIVE SITUATIONS WITH WOMEN.

You'd think that was obvious by now, but so many people are in the "protect myself" mode of thinking that they fail to see that this actually protects them from experiencing real interaction with other people.

As I said, one big mistake is trying to NOT upset her. That's a pussy response, if you want to know the truth. If you walk around on egg shells all the time around her, you'll only wind up with her thinking you're a supplicating dork. Don't do it.

She's probably not going to dump you for saying how you feel TOO LITTLE, but you can damn well be sure she WILL dump you for saying it TOO MUCH. Like you NEED her to feel a certain way back.

She's only asking you so that she can get some reassurance from you about your feelings. She's feeling insecure and wants your feedback to feel safe about staying with the relationship.

So don't hold back out of some artificial need to control her. You'll never be able to.

The problem is not in her asking you, but in your need to seek a response (or give a response) which maintains some kind of illusion of control or power over her.

A real Alpha Man would act from his own desires (not his insecurities or neediness) and do the best he could to answer her question truthfully.

If it was too early, I'd say it was too early, no matter how much I was pressured to answer.

If it was the right time, I'd tell her what I felt for that time.

First ask whether or not you have feelings for her...

... then figure out why you need to hide the answer.

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