He Gets It!!

My situation is this, I lost this girl by playing the "I'm not interested in you" after we already started sleeping together. She moved on and "dumped" me because she was looking for a relationship and I wasn't (or I didn't act like I wanted one). And she got a boyfriend. I didn't realize that there needed to be a shift from PU mindset to a relationship mindset. Anyways, lesson learned.

Now, I'd be okay with never talking to her again, really. But every so often, 3-4 months or so, we'll run into each other because parts of our social circles overlap. If I don't talk to her, it'll be weird.

I think, given what we had, we should at least be on good terms. In the same sense, I don't want to put too much effort into being friends with her because if I did I would look like the "loser" who is trying to get her back. I think she would percieve it as that anyways. And when I see her see is usually with her boyfriend. And me walking up and talking to both of them would probably be weird for everyone.

I'm not even thinking about trying to get her back. That boat has sailed. How would you handle a situation like this.

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CARLOS:

Ahhhhhhhhh!

This is such a breath of fresh air. Usually guys are always writing with the question of how to get her back. Finally I hear from a guy who gets it. You can't go back and fix what you broke with a woman when you don't show her the right stuff at the start.

When guys take the Red Pill that I give them, they realize that they screwed things up.

It's like pulling a winning ticket to the lottery out of your coat pocket, only it was for a lottery in 1983. Now you know better, but it's just too late.

When you realize what you did wrong, suddenly you want to go back and fix it.

But you don't, and that's the most reassuring thing I've heard all day.

So you know what I'd probably do?

I'd buddy up with her new boyfriend. Make friends with him. If you do it in a non-obtrusive way, it will reassure her that you are capable of handling things maturely. Then you'll be able to intersect with her social group more comfortably later on.

What you bring up is interesting, though. There does need to be a change of mindset - slightly - from PUA to regular guy if you want to keep a long term relationship going. You can't keep things going exactly the same way, because you have to start being a bit more vulnerable and open with a woman you want to keep around. This doesn't mean you immediately start getting all wimpy on her and kissing her ass. It just means that a woman needs some romancing and maintenance attention that you have to hold back on initially.

Another way you can keep her acquaintance would be to start saying hello to her in passing every so often. Do it in a way that doesn't give her an opportunity to respond, so that it doesn't seem as if you're looking for rekindling anything. Just say hello to her just as you pass by her somewhere. Flash her about a half-second of eye contact, and look like you're on your way to something pressing and urgent (which you should be.)

Don't make any direct attempts to keep the friendship going, because that might get misinterpreted as chump behavior, but don't send any negative mojo her way.

The Alpha Male is the kind of guy who isn't concerned with other people's opinions, but knows that his reputation should be protected anyways.

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