DATING ADVICE QUESTION:

Hey Carlos,

Today I saw a girl I used to work with in the Navy, but she got kicked out for supplying alcohol to minors and conducting an "illegal" business on base. Whatever the case, I saw her today on base, and I guess her friends brought her back on base. Anyhow she greeted me with a hug and was all chittty chatty. Now mind you, this gal was NOT hot at ALL.

However after some teasing her, and one of my stupid friends comments talking me down perhaps to make himself seem cooler as he talked about all of our conquests, this girl suddenly started talking so much shit. Like there were 3 other guys at the table and she was looking at our hands around the table, claiming to know the size of our dicks by how our hands looked. (wtf) She then just kept talking trash, and I'd be like f*ck you and she'd be like "I'm not your type....I'm not a blow up doll." And would say things like, "I wouldn't fuck you with a 10 foot pole."

You get the point. Eventually I got pissed and am like, "Alice, CUT THE SH*T OUT!" Although it was kind of embarrassing having 2 friends watch this. What the heck was going on here? I'm not a very good trash talking, you know coming up with super funny witty things to say when someone is bagging on me.

Is this one of those tests women have? How should I perhaps handle something like this if it comes up again? I felt like I was in uncharted territory. Thanks.

-M
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CARLOS:

This girl is what we in the 'community' call a female player. She demonstrates much of the characteristics of a guy who is good with women ... only she's a woman!

Most of her sh*t talking is an attention-getting tactic. Chances are this girl is a "wild child" who likes to get into trouble, isn't very stable, and likes to stir things up so that she can be the instigator and the center of attention.

She was eating up all your attention like a lap-dog. And the fact that she wasn't very hot just proves it. She knows that guys are probably actually turned on by her attitude more than they knew.

I remember this 40-something woman where I used to work that was totally AVERAGE, yet she managed to rile you up by being obnoxious and cocky the whole time. (Presenting herself as an ALPHA woman.)

It works for women the way it works for men.

Now, more important here, you let her get to you, and that's a BIG no-no. She did manage to screen you out there by your reaction. Alpha Men do not lose control of their emotions under any situation. (Except when it's to achieve a desired outcome and it's on purpose, which I am going to cover sometime soon in the Advanced Audio Coaching.)

After a while of her back-and forth, you should just start refusing to go along with her game. You can't keep up the witty banter forever, and at some point it's time to call her on it.

HER: Yeah, you guys probably have small ones. Look at the size of your hands.

YOU: Why are you interested in the size of my penis? Are coming on to me?

HER: Yeah, you wish!

YOU: Is that it? "Yeah, you wish"? I don't suppose you can surprise me with something a bit more witty. Is this how you drove off your last boyfriend? All this charming love-talk?

Mind you, most of this is conveyed in the attitude. I'd be leaning back in my chair, using her chair or leg as a rest for mine. I'd start turning my body away and talking to her over my shoulder.

Revoke the attention she so desperately needs.

The key is to recognize her motivation and take it under YOUR control. You must be the Alpha Man in the interaction, no matter how much SHE wants to be.

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