ALPHA MAN QUESTION:

Hi there from the UK, I have just bought your programme and I am writing to say thanks, I have only been studying it for a few days but what you have said is already causing bells to ring in my mind. I was wondering if there is any advice for my specific set of circumstances.

I am a recovering alcoholic, I have been sober for 15 months, and in that time a whole new life has begun for me, its been an exciting and intriguing journey. Throughout my drinking life, as you can imagine, my relations with women were carnage, I was a sad pitiful tearful drunk, never really graduating beyond 'nice guy' resorting to desperate measures periodically, launching myself at women I had developed an obsession with.

My relationships all lasted about three months and were never with people I really wanted or liked. I have given myself a year off dating to concentrate on recovery, and have now started out aged 31 as a blank slate, with no previous relationships to speak of not much dating success and literally no knowledge or skills.

I find this all very confusing, I have a lot of very good female friends who I am very close to and came to know throughout my recovery, I have to remind myself that that is all they are because they became friends before I had any ability to make a move, and obviously my number one job is to remain sober.

I have just managed to build a small bit of self confidence up, what would you recommend in my situation as a first place to start in the dating cycle?

All advice gratefully recieved
Nick
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CARLOS:

A big hello to my mates across the pond... Good to hear from all my global brothers out there.

First of all, congratulations on your sobering up. That's a big step toward Alpha Manhood.

So how do you get back out there and recover your sense of confidence?

First of all, you're understanding one thing right away, and that is that the women you have as friends need to be your last prospects. When you start to AMP up your Alpha Confidence again, they will probably find you attractive in that way, but not now.

I'd suggest you find a way to raise up your confidence with more things that have NOTHING to do with women.

Get a hobby that makes you feel whole again. Go take some classes, or do some things that gets you feeling good about yourself apart from women.

Watch a ton of James Bond movies. Start to soak in the vibe of a man with his Alpha status.

It's a common syndrome for a guy to take a blow to his ego (i.e., your handling your alcoholism) and let it affect his game with women.

Your primary goal (other than just staying sober) is to NOT FEEL GUILTY or BAD about it!

Don't let this be a setback that kills your Alpha Attitude.

Obviously you should screen the women you get involved with for their habits to make sure they won't be an enabler of your previous bad habits. This I'm sure you're aware of.

I'd recommend the very first step is just to get out and get around women with NO GOALS at all. Just talk to them. Interact in every way you can. Regain your sense of confidence just being around them. This way you can build up your self-esteem without risk of rejection or setbacks.

Next up, you need to find a good avenue to re-enter the dating world. I suggest online dating and speed dating as a low-risk method. Mind you, the prospects are never as high-quality as those you'll see each day in the clubs and pubs, but it's a more comfortable way to get used to the dating scene again.

Plus, it lets you feel in control of things when you get to choose.

I also highly recommend you go to every social event you can find to get your sociability back up, too. What most guys don't realize is that their overall ability to socialize and mingle is a key determinant in their ability to attract a hot woman.

And, of course, review the materials in the Secrets of the Alpha Man course regularly. The exercises will help a great deal with this.

And, lastly, don't watch "Coupling" repeats for any reason. It's a great show, but the guys on there are pitiful...

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men