DATING ADVICE QUESTION:

Great job with the advice first and formost. You seem to know whats going inside a womens head at least ...

My problem is I love sex. Well I wouldn't consider it a problem but it is becoming one in my relationship. My girl friend is 3 years younger than I but when we are together there is no age difference until it becomes physical.

We have been through alot and love each other no matter how we act but she doesn't want sex as much as I do. sense I do love her very much I have to make the sacrafice of not having it as much as I do.

When we do have sex its really good and we can both reach our "higher levels". but more often than not I want it alot more. I was wondering if you had any advice to get my girlfriend begging me for sex.

I don't want this to sound like thats all I want out of the relationship because by any means she is my best friend and my lover and I respect her. I just want to know how to get her wanting it for me. because its not like I want it when the situation is not right but when it is I want it. is there anything worng with that. well if you have some adivce let me know. thank you

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CARLOS:

First of all, lose that apologetic air about wanting to have a fruitful and pleasurable sex life. It's COMPLETELY NORMAL.

More bad Media Programming has led men to believe that their healthy sexual desires are "bad," or that they are "bad" for wanting more than women appear to want on the surface.

More mind control for you.

The first step is to not worry what other people think about your situation. It is what it is, and other people will just have to accept it. You're an Alpha Man.

Live it.

Love it.

Now, for your situation:

There are times when one partner will have a higher sex drive than the other. In fact, this is almost always the case. What you hope for, though, is that one will be higher one week, and the other will be higher another time. Occasionally, you're both up there.

Your options are:

1) Continue being unfulfilled in your current relationship. Live with the disparity and tension it creates.

2) Dump her, go find a woman with the sexual appetite you have

3) Go get your nookie elsewhere on the side.

4) Make things work by having some long, hard discussions about what you want, how she can provide it, how you can accommodate her, etc.

5) Jack up the sexual tension so high that she can only desire more and more of you in bed.

Number 4 is the longest and most difficult route, but it could be the most rewarding if you feel a strong investment with this girl. But you only go that route AFTER number 5.

Passion is a thing of the heart, not of the head. You need to spray some gasoline on things and light it to get it going.

Recognize that #1 and #3 are not recommended by me.

Number 2, while stated a little harshly, should be kept on hand as an alternative if you can't get things to work out.

YOU don't have to be the only one making a "sacrifice."

Perhaps she can sacrifice a little and give you a little action, and you can sacrifice a bit by taking care of your need on your own a few times.

You need both the physical and the emotional parts of a relationship to make it work (and I'm not even talking about compatibility yet) so keep in mind that you are not a "dog" or a "typical man" for wanting this.

Consider that most women in their 30s have higher sex drives than men their age and you'll see that this can easily flip-flop back and forth.

My experience has been that younger women are too insecure sexually to make very good partners, but then again, guys are often too inexperienced to provide the same.

Hey, we've all got our shortcomings, right?

Keep demonstrating your strong posture and lack of neediness, and keep busting her chops. Elevate the level of sexual tension whenever possible. Don't let everything become a "yes, dear" situation.

Over-familiarity kills passion.

Remember that if she has never had a high level of sexual desire, it's not something that's likely to be addressed by #5. She's just not as horny. That's when Number 4 takes over.

Just don't get stuck in "martyr" mode, where you feel like you're doing something wrong by asking to have your needs fulfilled. There's no reason you can't have what you want in this world if you're willing to go after it. Understand your options and keep them open.

Stay Alpha, and keep going after it.

Good luck...

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