This is how you know you need to drop pickup and work on your inner game...
QUESTION:
Women in UK hate me, know it's only women here because when I went to PickUp101 workshops in U.S. didn't get the same bad reactions that I have had before and since here. Fact that I never get anywhere with online dating, confirms this to be true.
Also went to workshop here and told I shouldn't wear what I was wearing to bars/clubs which I thought I looked good in. Then later that night, women criticised what I was wearing, which hadn't happened before and took it very badly.
How will I have any success if I have these beliefs and reactions?
Am I too old, I'm 45, to ever attract anyone now?
______________________
CARLOS XUMA ANSWERS:
Get ready... it's tough-love time again, mate. I'm not doing this to satisfy ego, or make you feel bad about yourself. (I really don't have that power, anyway.)
I'm doing this to help you break free of some bad thinking that could condemn you to a life of missed opportunity and bitterness.
Let me tell you right now that I highly doubt that women in the UK really have formed a secret group and have signed a secret agreement to hate you.
While that last sentence may sound a bit ridiculous, it's every bit as ridiculous as:
"Women in the UK hate me."
The cultural differences between the US and UK continue to disappear (and is also evidenced by more man-bashing television programming than ever.)
Every time Mulder, Scully, and I go off and investigate one of these dating X-files stories, we come away with the same conclusion: You're looking for a scapegoat.
Sure, it's really easy to say "Everybody hates me" because it gives you a cop-out excuse to give up and cry over your horrible fate in life.
The quick and easy answer makes it all that much sooner you can quit working on yourself and get back to snoozing on the couch and telling all the blokes down at the pub how all women in the United Kingdom hate you.
As far as your age...
45? Too old?
BULLSHIT!
You're looking for another reason to give up and then complain for the rest of your days over a warm beer how you got ripped off in the "life lottery."
Ask yourself this: "Would I rather be 45 and change my ways, or wait until I'm 55? 65? 75???"
What age is going to work for you? Because first of all, you're never going to be younger than you are right now, so age is always irrelevant to the man who stops looking at the clock.
Oh, by the way, I've hung with Lance and Daniel and the crew (from Pickup 101) and I've seen how they approach things.
What probably happened as far as your good results in the U.S. had NOTHING to do with your approach, but with the quality of guys you were hanging out with. When you're around a positive and uplifting group of guys dedicated to the same cause, they'll help you get into good approaches in spite of yourself.
But when you remove that influence, it becomes very easy to fall back on stinking thinking and old faulty beliefs.
It's about the company you keep and kind of environment you immerse yourself in.
By the way, if you read this and got a little pissed at me, that's fine.
There are two reactions a guy has to strong feedback:
1) Get angry, call the person an idiot, and refuse to listen to them because they didn't rub your tummy or whatever you needed to validate your faulty belief.
2) Get your emotions under control, and then coldly and calmly accept that you may be operating from a faulty belief system, and you need a new perspective.
Sadly, most guys opt for #1 and never make any real improvements in their lives because they want to make their ego feel good, and it feels good to have someone you can call an "asshole" because he didn't tell you what you wanted to hear.
When you use #2 - even against the most scathing and angry feedback - you come away with information you can use.
You choose your reaction. Not me.
When a woman criticizes your attire, it's HER problem, not yours. I don't care if you're dressed like Napoleon Dynamite. Stop handing over your emotions to a woman to decide for you. If you took it badly, it was your fault, not hers.
When you said that your success with online dating "Fact that I never get anywhere with online dating, confirms this to be true" I confess I just wanted to reach over my internet connection and slap you.
It doesn't confirm anything of the kind! It only confirmed what you WANTED to believe in the first place.
If you keep looking for evidence to confirm your beliefs, you'll always find it. No matter what those beliefs are! That's the effed up thing about beliefs.
You want to dramatically increase your success rate and perception of women?
This one is going to sting a bit...
Maybe it's time to take a break from the bar scene for a while. And then you can focus on making online dating WORK for you. Because it does. It works for every guy that WORKS IT.
That's why I recommend my good friend Grant Adams' program, Net2Bed. Use it. It works.
In answer to your question:
"How will I have any success if I have these beliefs and reactions?"
Answer: You won't. So it's time to change your beliefs and your reactions.
"NO! Carlos! That sounds too hard! Give me a pickup line instead..."
Oh, sure I could patch-fix this sort of thing and tell you that all you need is a new "routine" or a new opener. Or it's your clothes! Yeah, that sounds good. Easy to fix that. I could then pat you on your back and send you on your merry way and hope that you came to this realization on your own.
But we both know that you really want to free yourself from some of these limiting beliefs and behaviors that have you trapped.
And it's not just impacting your life with women, either, is it?
Oh, no. When you are having a difficult time with women, it can kill your success in almost every other area of life.
What if you could fix some of this inner game stuff now?
And what if it was easier than just slapping on a little "outer game" technique to make you a better man - from the inside out?
That's what I show you, man.
Welcome aboard....
Women in UK hate me, know it's only women here because when I went to PickUp101 workshops in U.S. didn't get the same bad reactions that I have had before and since here. Fact that I never get anywhere with online dating, confirms this to be true.
Also went to workshop here and told I shouldn't wear what I was wearing to bars/clubs which I thought I looked good in. Then later that night, women criticised what I was wearing, which hadn't happened before and took it very badly.
How will I have any success if I have these beliefs and reactions?
Am I too old, I'm 45, to ever attract anyone now?
______________________
CARLOS XUMA ANSWERS:
Get ready... it's tough-love time again, mate. I'm not doing this to satisfy ego, or make you feel bad about yourself. (I really don't have that power, anyway.)
I'm doing this to help you break free of some bad thinking that could condemn you to a life of missed opportunity and bitterness.
Let me tell you right now that I highly doubt that women in the UK really have formed a secret group and have signed a secret agreement to hate you.
While that last sentence may sound a bit ridiculous, it's every bit as ridiculous as:
"Women in the UK hate me."
The cultural differences between the US and UK continue to disappear (and is also evidenced by more man-bashing television programming than ever.)
Every time Mulder, Scully, and I go off and investigate one of these dating X-files stories, we come away with the same conclusion: You're looking for a scapegoat.
Sure, it's really easy to say "Everybody hates me" because it gives you a cop-out excuse to give up and cry over your horrible fate in life.
The quick and easy answer makes it all that much sooner you can quit working on yourself and get back to snoozing on the couch and telling all the blokes down at the pub how all women in the United Kingdom hate you.
As far as your age...
45? Too old?
BULLSHIT!
You're looking for another reason to give up and then complain for the rest of your days over a warm beer how you got ripped off in the "life lottery."
Ask yourself this: "Would I rather be 45 and change my ways, or wait until I'm 55? 65? 75???"
What age is going to work for you? Because first of all, you're never going to be younger than you are right now, so age is always irrelevant to the man who stops looking at the clock.
Oh, by the way, I've hung with Lance and Daniel and the crew (from Pickup 101) and I've seen how they approach things.
What probably happened as far as your good results in the U.S. had NOTHING to do with your approach, but with the quality of guys you were hanging out with. When you're around a positive and uplifting group of guys dedicated to the same cause, they'll help you get into good approaches in spite of yourself.
But when you remove that influence, it becomes very easy to fall back on stinking thinking and old faulty beliefs.
It's about the company you keep and kind of environment you immerse yourself in.
By the way, if you read this and got a little pissed at me, that's fine.
There are two reactions a guy has to strong feedback:
1) Get angry, call the person an idiot, and refuse to listen to them because they didn't rub your tummy or whatever you needed to validate your faulty belief.
2) Get your emotions under control, and then coldly and calmly accept that you may be operating from a faulty belief system, and you need a new perspective.
Sadly, most guys opt for #1 and never make any real improvements in their lives because they want to make their ego feel good, and it feels good to have someone you can call an "asshole" because he didn't tell you what you wanted to hear.
When you use #2 - even against the most scathing and angry feedback - you come away with information you can use.
You choose your reaction. Not me.
When a woman criticizes your attire, it's HER problem, not yours. I don't care if you're dressed like Napoleon Dynamite. Stop handing over your emotions to a woman to decide for you. If you took it badly, it was your fault, not hers.
When you said that your success with online dating "Fact that I never get anywhere with online dating, confirms this to be true" I confess I just wanted to reach over my internet connection and slap you.
It doesn't confirm anything of the kind! It only confirmed what you WANTED to believe in the first place.
If you keep looking for evidence to confirm your beliefs, you'll always find it. No matter what those beliefs are! That's the effed up thing about beliefs.
You want to dramatically increase your success rate and perception of women?
This one is going to sting a bit...
Maybe it's time to take a break from the bar scene for a while. And then you can focus on making online dating WORK for you. Because it does. It works for every guy that WORKS IT.
That's why I recommend my good friend Grant Adams' program, Net2Bed. Use it. It works.
In answer to your question:
"How will I have any success if I have these beliefs and reactions?"
Answer: You won't. So it's time to change your beliefs and your reactions.
"NO! Carlos! That sounds too hard! Give me a pickup line instead..."
Oh, sure I could patch-fix this sort of thing and tell you that all you need is a new "routine" or a new opener. Or it's your clothes! Yeah, that sounds good. Easy to fix that. I could then pat you on your back and send you on your merry way and hope that you came to this realization on your own.
But we both know that you really want to free yourself from some of these limiting beliefs and behaviors that have you trapped.
And it's not just impacting your life with women, either, is it?
Oh, no. When you are having a difficult time with women, it can kill your success in almost every other area of life.
What if you could fix some of this inner game stuff now?
And what if it was easier than just slapping on a little "outer game" technique to make you a better man - from the inside out?
That's what I show you, man.
Welcome aboard....
alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men
posted by Carlos Xuma at 2:52 PM
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