Boiling Point

Hey Carlos,
  
So I finally decided to take this seriously because I feel I have hit a boiling point. I am 20 and I feel that I am just bullshitting by just reading and not doing anything. So I found a wingman, and decided that this thursday, friday, and saturday I was going to hit up the clubs with my wingman. We really have no particular goal in mind, other than just getting out there and trying to approach some females. We did drink a little (not too much though) and I started just approaching random girls. One thing though that I have noticed that I feel is holding me back tremendously is my anxiety.

I feel almost too anxious to talk to girls. I seriously try to force myself and sometimes I do approach, but sometimes its just too hard. When I have been approaching I have been getting mostly the cold shoulder and I just walk away or something. I do feel a sting of rejection but I felt that I have handled it pretty good considering I don't have much experience with girls at all and it was a challenge to my self esteem.

I kind of made it my goal to just socialize and I just go in and talk to anyone, ask them questions, just try to get as sociable as possible. I guess I wrote in to get your feedback or some encouragement because its my first time really being sooo committed to this and I kind of have an attitude that I am going to persist no matter what because I know that success will come eventually.

I think I am going to start reading more now and actually applying specific things instead of just going out there just saying anything to get my anxiety handled.

What do you think Carlos? Do you have any tips or advice that would help? Thanks so much.
  
 
  
                                                                                  Your loyal customer,
  
                                                                                  R

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CARLOS:

You're getting the right idea.

At some point, you need to just say f*** it and get in there and get your hands dirty.

Where you are at right now is needing to get as much experience interacting with people. ALL people. ALL women. Not just hot girls or doing pickup.

Your commitment level is where it needs to be, and now you need to practice SPECIFIC strategies to use in approach. (The best ones are included as part of the Approach Women Program).

Right now you need to shoot for the lowest common denominator in your interactions. This means that if you are having problems getting the conversation started, get a TON of experience starting conversations with EVERYONE you meet or encounter.

If you're not talking to everyone you are weighting your approaches with anxiety because you think that only certain interactions are worth focusing on. In reality, NONE of them are.

Get to the point where your interactions are not weighted by expectation, then you can move to the next level.

The "Zen" lesson here is that only by making each conversation unimportant in the grand scheme of things can you then make the next conversation truly important to you and her.

Learn more about the next level in the Approach Women NOW program

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