Won't you get more confident when you get more women?

Hey Carlos, I just have a question about your answer in the last field report that's on your blog.

Here it is:

I may have been too harsh in my discussion of guys and one night stands. I don't have anything against them. What I don't want is a bunch of guys seeking ego improvement through notching their bedposts.

The thing that I don't understand is that I always thought that to improve your ego and your confidence is by getting with a lot of girls. But by your answer I believe that I'm wrong.So Carlos, can you help me understand so I can get on the right path.

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CARLOS:

This is a common misconception about how your self-esteem works.

You see, you can increase your self-esteem with "external" proof like this. By sleeping with a bunch of women, I can feel better about my attractiveness to the other sex.

Let's face it: Sometimes you need that proof on the outside so you can feel better on the inside.

THE DILEMMA:

If I get more women, I'll be more confident.

But I can't get more women until I'm more confident... which will then make me more confident, right?

That's the dirty cycle I'm trying to break. Why should you have to wait until you get good with women to improve your self-esteem and self-confidence?

But here's what I don't want you doing: Thinking that success with women will complete your world and this will make you a real man.

You see, getting women WILL increase your confidence and ego. But it is only a quick-fix.

Every single guy who has ever gone down the path of chasing women to validate his ego has found it sorely lacking, by my reckon. (I've been watching a lot of "Deadwood" these days, so bear with my lingo...)

You will never fill the void with a woman. If anything, a woman will only make the emptiness in you more apparent, or create some kind of co-dependency and unhealthy relationship.

So here's what I propose to all you guys:

Get yourself more successful and happy in your own life - at the same time as you are working on these skills.

One will reinforce the other.

The full battle plan for this is what I teach here: The Secrets of the Alpha Man

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