Those darn messages....

Carlos,

I met a girl a couple of weeks ago and we went out on a date that got pretty hot. I think her interest level is probably still fluid at this stage of the game. I wanted to bring in something unexpected and add that adventure to the mix today by calling in the morning to set up a spontaneous lunch date. She didn't answer so I left a message. My question is how to handle this scenario best.

I know that if I just say "call me back" that it gives her too much power and puts me on the waiting end but if I don't say something than there is a 0% for her to call back before lunchtime. I left a message (with a confident tone) like this "Hey, Jennifer - as it turns out today I have some free time so I thought I would call to see how your day is going and chat for a few minutes. I don't know what your schedule is like so call if you get the chance - if not I will call tonight 'maybe' or tomorrow night. Goodbye Jennifer"

Anyways, this is the best thing that I could come up with but I find myself running into this scenario often where I want to set up something spontaneous with a girl. Any idea on when I should actually call her back if she doesn't return my message if at all?

Frank
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CARLOS:

This is always a dilemma for guys once they realize how this sort of power play starts to arise between men and women.

It's important to be spontaneous with women, however, and you need to have a battle plan for this situation.

The key is to take it away just as fast as you offer it. If she answered, you'd offer her your little mini-adventure. If she doesn't answer, you leave her a message letting her know what she missed out on.

Here's what I'd do in this situation:

"Hey, Jennifer... Here I was going to offer you a wild little adventure to break up the monotony of your week, and you missed out... Well, don't kick yourself too much for missing out on it... I'll tell you more about this place later in the week."

CLICK.

And then, to make this really work, you better go there with another friend (male or female). When you talk to her, you can then be sincere when you talk about your adventure to this little lunch spot with your "friend." Don't tell her the gender of this friend. Wait for her to ask who you went with... then you say:

"Are you afraid I went with another woman? You're jealous, aren't you? That's so cute!" And simply don't answer her question.

The bottom line is that if she's not there, SHE missed out.

If you want her to call back, you must give her a reason to WANT to call back.

Curiosity often does the trick.

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