Hey man,

I've got a guy problem....

Today at school he said to me, "Neil, what's up with your attitude lately, man? You're getting cocky, and no one likes a cocky guy, especially girls. I'm just saying this for your own good. I suggest you take my advice." He said this in front of all the top-girls of our school at the lunch table. I just said quietly, "Whatever."

Now every time I walk past him he'll say, "Lose the cockiness, Neil." and he'll make sure he says it right in front of a girl. That time I told him to shut up. The next time, in class, he said, "Don't get cocky." in front of another girl and I told him that time to mind his own business.

Now, I look at myself as a fun, laid back, confident 18 year old. I do have my cocky streak, every now and then, but who doesn't? I've received few notices where the girl says I'm cocky, but in a playful way (where I can tell she likes it).

This guy I'm dealing with is known to be extremely aggressive and likes to fight to resolve things, even though he's short and scrawny. I started working out a couple months ago and I've been gaining a lot of muscle. I'm tall and I used to be super-skinny, but now I'm pretty built. I carry myself in a confident manner and express good body language.

What do you have to say here?

Thanks,

N
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CARLOS:


Oh, yeah. You got yourself a problem, all right.

First of all, this guy is what we dating advisors call (and this is a highly technical term, so please use it carefully) a punk-ass bitch.

He's messing with you. Pure and simple. He's trying to out-alpha you, and every time you let him get away with it, he's undermining your status in the eyes of the women around you.

Oh, don't be fooled. Some women will even tell you, "Don't let him get to you," but that's a lame consolation prize. Subconsciously they want you to stand up and show him you've got a pair.

So how do you do it?

You can do it one of two ways:

1) You beat him like a drum, so hard he wakes up in another timeline. While brutal, it would get the point across to him. However, there are some punks out there that are not silenced by a good beating, and start to bleat like a stuck pig, not terribly afraid of another lip-fattening encounter.

2) You bust his game wide open.

(Oh, there is another option, it's just not one I'm going to list. It's where you obey him and stop being cocky. Then you lose in every way imaginable. Don't even go there.)

Option 2 is your preferred route, because you'll get much further blowing out his game than you will any other way. And you don't want women sympathizing with this toad.

Verbal aikido (or verbal 'ju-jitsu') is something I work on with my students in handling these guys. I've even got a section of my Alpha Forum dedicated to sharing tips and strategies for this.

You see, every time you laugh him off without putting him in his place, you're losing a little face, because punk-boy is testing you and insulting you, and you're not responding, which makes you look like a pussy.

Cut back into him a little. Push back (verbally, not physically.)

"Shut up" and "Mind your own business" don't cut it. You need to turn him around with some solid verbal game.

Get your game face on and plan for the next encounter, because you know it's coming.

Your success in these confrontations boils down to the strength of your frame. Manage it!

And get my Alpha Man program so you can learn the specific methods of handling these guys...

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