CARLOS XUMA'S DATING ADVICE NEWSLETTER:
STAY IN THE GAME ...
|
Carlos Xuma and the TRUTH About Dating and
Attraction...
Because every
man is self-made, but only the SUCCESSFUL admit it.
Friday, 2:20 PM: Carlos Xuma's Desk
"I don't know what I been told... but big legged women
ain't got no soul..."
It's funny how old Led Zeppelin lyrics just stick in the
head like nothing else. It's also a testament to time, if you think about
it. "Black Dog" was written almost 40 years ago, and it's still as relevant
in rock 'n' roll as anything else you hear on the radio today. Probably MORE relevant.
Being a man has also never been
more important and more
relevant. This last week I found a few good articles, and some bad ones that
claim that being an Alpha Man is no longer "in." Like it's a fad or something.
(Insert shaking head of disgust here)
Look, a few hundred thousand years
of evolution is not
countered by a few decades of television and feminism. I hate to be the one
to break the news to you on that one. I suspect you probably realized that
by now.
BUT there is a chance - in fact a high probability - that
the world of dating and relationships will be shaken up by the new gender
roles that evolve out of the next few decades. We'll either see a new
breed of subservient wusses, or we'll see some new
evolution of man. In fact, I think you'll see that the latter is the likely situation,
and that this new breed of man will bear a STRONG resemblance to my Alpha
Man ideal.
- Confident
- Emotionally Aware
- Socially savvy
- Assertive
With new skills that allow him to retain his
dominant role, but enjoy the new freedoms of female sexuality.
The reality is that women are starting to rebel against all those thousands
of years of parternity-assurance
rules that men have set up, and they're divorcing
in record numbers.
Just watch for the changes coming.
Now on to this week's newsletter:
QUESTION: Getting
the Date ...
I think your Alpha Man programs are great even for men that are quite successful
with women.
I’ve never had much trouble with women but
I do hit a sticking point every once in a while. I have this one woman that
I have a situation with that I need an opinion on. I met this woman many
years ago when she was a cocktail waitress in college. We did not date and
did not really get to know each other then. Years later I ran into her again.
I immediately approached her and had a date set within a few minutes. We
had a nice date and she made comments on a few things we should do with
each other. Like she was trying to insure a future date.
Several days later when we talked on the phone she mentioned things she would
like to do with me. I assumed she was interested. Since then I have twice
set up dates with her only to get a cancellation. She always has an excuse
that sounds legitimate. The last excuse she put me off saying she was extremely
busy and that next month would be better for us to make plans.
I know that I should blow her off and move on, but sometimes I want to stay
in the game just to see what happens. (She is also pretty hot.) I have a suspicion
that she has a boyfriend and it is not working out so good for her. I think
she is trying to keep me on the side so she will have something to fall back
on. I feel like I need to call her on it but I also do not want to step out
of bounds if her excuses are legit. Also if I need to call her on it I would
like to hear your opinion of how you would do it.
Carlos, I will tell you this about your programs. I have 3 nephews and when
they are old enough I will buy each one of them your
programs. There is no
sense in them having to fail at something just because they have not been
educated.
Keep up the good work brother.
-David
CARLOS XUMA'S ADVICE:
I think your analysis is probably pretty accurate. Women love to have guys
on the line as fallbacks and groupies for them so they don't feel disconnected
and socially undesirable.
And you're right to stay in the
game to find out what
is going on. Many women do not let themselves be single (or seen as
single) for very long. So you want to be there when there's an opportunity so you can be the first in line. Just don't haunt the girl.
Actually, the best thing you can
do is to do the following:
CONTINUED...
®
CLICK
HERE TO LEARN MORE...
1) Just mentally
dismiss her as a serious contender.
Don't "call her
on it," because it will NOT make her more likely to grovel for your attention.
2) Tease
her every time you see her for being a flaky chick. Make sure she
knows you think of her just as a silly little brat girl. The less seriously
you take her, the better.
3) Continue to set dates that are convenient for YOU - Never
rely on her to follow through. Always double up the plans.
4) Have fun testing and trying out techniques on your new groupies. Once
you remove attachment to outcome with them, you are then free to leverage
them as test subjects as you see fit. Not for abuse or manipulation, but to
better understand Social Dynamics.
This is the universal plan for women that flake on you regularly. She can
be a groupie of yours and provide great social proof for you, so let the little
flakes hang out in your shadow. Just forget that they're back there until
they take action to be a part of your life.
Remember that a woman will only want to be around you
to the degree that
she feels YOU make her feel good. Being a dick or calling
her on her flaky behavior may set some level of posture, but that's only attractive
if she's used to being catered to and pampered. Even then, it doesn't always
work. You cannot DEMAND respect - only command it.
Don't let her disrespect you in
any way, but recognize that most women don't
view flaking as bad. It's just a way of life.
And I'm glad you're passing along my information to your nephews. We need
all men everywhere to become Alpha Men - students of the NEW sexuality of
men...
Get the Secrets of the Alpha Man ...
QUESTION: Liquid
Courage ...
Hey Carlos,
Here's something I bet you can answer.
Saturday night I met a girl, someone with whom a friend had been trying to
set me up for some time. So my friend talked me up, then first I met the girl's
roommate and I guess she was impressed with me, then I met the girl and we
chatted it up for a long time, nice pleasant chit chat. Overall I think there
was some pretty strong attraction on both sides.
Towards the end of my stay at that bar, I was starting to get pretty drunk,
and we met up outside the bar. I deemed it a good moment to go in for the
kiss, and she sort of balked and I ended up kissing her neck. But I went in
again a few minutes later and sealed the deal--as far as I can remember there
was no resistance. We agreed to meet up sometime, and I got her number.
What I'm struggling with is if I went overboard by kissing her within a short
time of meeting her. She didn't return my call last night, but there could
be other reasons for that of course. (And yes I do realize that it's good
to keep the alcohol intake at a reasonable level, the circumstances were what
they were.) Some of the details were hazy, but I'm pretty sure I didn't say
anything lewd.
But what I really hate is being in this position where I look back, trying
to reconstruct the night, and wondering if I did something wrong. I am worried
that I might have come off as too aggressive.
Is a girl typically going to be turned off by a dude who assertively goes
in for the kiss early on...even if it's a confident second effort after a
rebuffed first attempt?
You're the man Carlos--
PB
CARLOS XUMA'S ADVICE:
Whoops...
Pop goes the cork on that one, dude. I think all
men out there should take note that the glasses of "liquid
courage" you're
taking in are really a way for you to not develop the
social skills and confidence you'll need to have when you're sober.
Liquor ain't quicker, dudes.
Look, I love to drink on occasion, and maybe a lot
of drinks. (Not nearly as much as I used to, though...) However, the reality
is that if you want to avoid those "What did I say?" or "What did I do?" moments,
you have to limit your intake. Alcohol is just a way to lower your inhibitions,
but it rapidly becomes a liability to effective social
skills.
CONTINUED...
______________________
I can tell you this: If you went in for the kiss and weren't sure you were
going to get it, then it was your fault, and you shouldn't have tried.
It's incredibly easy to tell if a woman is ready to be kissed. You'll see
her looking at your lips, you'll get a lot of kino, yadda yadda. If you can
reach over and touch her hair without her pulling back, that's also good.
My personal test is simply to tell her I have a secret
for her, and when she asks what it is, I motion for her to come close so I
can whisper it to her. I watch her reaction very closely. Her
body language will give it away whether she's ready for more.
It sounds like you got the kiss you were looking for, but now you're getting
hung up on the fact that you weren't doing X tactic or Y tactic correctly.
Given your state at the time, you probably won't ever really know. Chalk it
up as a learning experience.
Next time, setup something for you two to do together so that she has a reason
to answer her phone later.
It's less about what you do and more about what
she has to gain later on from your interaction that determines whether or
not your next date or meeting will happen.
Think about this for a bit..
All success in life - especially with women - comes from
a strong core of Inner
Game. What
is Inner Game?
It's your confidence. It's your attitude. You know when
a person has this it
oozes from them and gives them a comfortable vibe.
The reality is that True success with
women requires a firm
sense of direction in life, and self-confidence.
But you hear that all the time, don't you?
"Just be confident."
You'll hear that nugget of advice from a lot of
guys out there, but the difference is that they'll say "be confident," and
not give you ONE single method of actually improving
your confidence.
That's where I will help you.
I spent years trying out various self-help programs, studying
my own inner psychology (and inner wuss, too.) I figured out which things
make a difference and ...
... I have a plan to help
you improve your inner AND outer game with women.
When a woman senses that you've got passions and direction
in your life - even if that passion is to improve to be more attractive
to women - then
they'll want to come along for the ride.
I saw it over and over again as I went down this road.
Now, I also mapped this development, and I want you to benefit from my
experience.
There's no reason you should have to take as long as I did to make these changes
to your own life.
A Woman isn't looking for
a MAN - She's looking for a "Situation..."
For those of you out there reading this right now
that aren't sure how to calibrate to the "Alpha
Man" ideal, I have
something for you that you will find LIFE-CHANGING.
Click here
right now to find out what I'm talking about, or just read on...
A lot of the situations
guys write in about are a bit unclear because many guys delude themselves
as to their real level of success with
women. The reality is that most guys DO
NOT get what they
want from their interactions and relationships with women.
Crappy as that is, there is a cure for the common Lonely
Single Guy.
It's called EDUCATION.
It's the only way to stop being a whipped,
scared, beta guy and get your love life under your control again.
If you could learn secrets to attract
women, would you?
Can you see past
your ego defense mechanisms and embrace the power of the Alpha Man?
When you have enough women and action in your life, you
won't feel like you need to analyze or chase every chick that comes into your
sphere of influence. And that's a good thing. You'll act on it because
you've got a sense
of abundance in your life.
If you'd like to create your plan for making your life what you want, develop
confidence, attract women, accumulate wealth, find happiness...
I know there are some guys who won't understand how these concepts go together,
but all success in life is linked together by some common
principles.
If you're not getting what you want from life, you need to make some changes.
Stop putting your destiny off until some other 'convenient'
time...
Discover your inner Alpha
Man NOW
Click HERE
to learn more...
CLICK
HERE TO FIND OUT MORE ...
Listen
to what the other gurus are saying about Carlos' work...
"I've read every book and studied every system on dating and seduction.
The problem with most 'gurus' in this field is that they're not teaching
men how to build a solid foundation. Until you change your internal
belief system and adopt an Alpha mindset, all the tactics and techniques
in the world aren't going to do you any good. (Actually, it's like
learning just enough karate to get your ass kicked!) Carlos
Xuma is the best there is at teaching men how to develop their 'inner
game.' From there, he'll give you the complete set of tools for approaching
women, and life, with absolute confidence and skill. If you're in
this game to win it, these are the rules you
need to learn."
- "Supreme", M.A.C.K. Tactics co-creator
"Carlos Xuma is a man who has a clear passion for imparting the success
with women he has experienced to other guys worldwide. He approaches his
craft with immense integrity and a distinct style!"
- Scot McKay, X & Y
Communications, DeserveWhatYouWant.com
"Carlos Xuma is the REAL DEAL! If you are serious about
creating an extraordinary relationship. You will learn more about the
needs and desires of women than they do themselves! I highly recommend
Carlos to any man who is ready to get the woman of his dreams.
I love his game, its 100% real."
- the dean, Dating4Men.com
"Carlos Xuma is one of those rare guys in the field who actually GETS
what interacting with women is all about. His advice goes beyond
the pick-up lines and approach techniques that so many guys use
and fail with. Rather, Carlos gives guys everywhere practical, valuable
advice that will make men attractive not just for one night, but for many,
many years. He lays down the foundation for becoming a NATURALLY attractive
man, full of confidence and the ability to fully ENJOY being around hot
babes.
Unlike other pickup artists, Carlos shares information that helps you
not only in one area of life, but in many: in social relationships, at
work, sports, with personal goals. He'll help make you a well-rounded,
self-believing alpha MAN who's capable of just about anything.
And seducing gorgeous, high-quality women, is just the beginning."
- James Brito, How
to Be Irresistible to Women
"Carlos Xuma is one of the few men in the 'seduction' or 'attraction'
community who digs beneath the surface of passing attraction,
and Explores what it is to be a man who attracts women by virtue of his
character and, consequently, the natural outward expression of high character.
He brings words like 'discipline' and 'integrity' to
the forefront, and waddya know, those are exactly the qualities women
truly crave in a man."
- Grant Adams, CEO
- net2bed.com
"Hey Carlos, I write about the biology of men and women's behavior.
You seem to know the biology of behavior without knowing it. How
do you do that? You have a deep intuition of dynamics -
it took me 7 years of academic research to discover. And you find
sharp ways to apply it practically... Keep up the good work, brother."
- Joe Quirk, Author
of "Sperm are from Men, Eggs are from Women"
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Remember what Carlos says:
"NO WOMAN has the self-control to STOP pursuing that
which she TRULY desires..."
Learn more about R.E.A.L.
Game ® and the successful attitudes of an Alpha Man: Take a look
at the original program that will put you on the path - Alpha
Immersion. This is the ORIGINAL Alpha
Man program that gives you the REAL Game with women.
Prove it to yourself - If you want to hear all the great
things everyone has to say about these books, go to the site and read the
reviews. And then download them now to see why more men get success with
my advice and strategies ...
CLICK
HERE TO LEARN MORE...
Listen to what this guy says about his experience
learning the Truth:
"I have purchased your Dating
Black Book and Approach
Women Now CD series. I have to tell you that after
reading the book and listening to the CDs I could help but feel
like the dorkiest man alive. I have let woman control my emotions
and have responded to them instead of them responding to me.
I always came off as a needy unconfident pervert!
"... I have learned to set standards and
not let a woman test me without busting their balls. I hope that if
I keep this up I will eventually find a woman that qualifies to be
in my life.
"One big thing too, if a woman sees that
I have things going on in my life, they tend to be more interested
instead of the bore I used to be. I have the motivation now to follow
my dreams and if a woman wants to be part of that then so be it, but
I have learned not to let a woman pull me off course of where I want
to go and do in my life..."
"Hey carlos, thank you for the Secrets
of the Alpha Man course. I think I must've listened to the
CDs four or five times now !
"The confidence I've gained in meeting
da ladeez at work and socially has been tremendous. I was never
skeptical at your
program, but was interested/concerned as how I would notice
the changes in myself. The clincher was when several of my closest
friends ... pointed out to me that I had confidence in so many ways!
"Thank you so much for your hard work for
making it easier for the rest of us!"
- Richie from UK
|
If you want to email Carlos a question,
send it only with THIS
EMAIL FORM.
"The difference between
great people and everyone else is that great people create their lives
actively, while everyone else is created by their lives, passively
waiting to see where life takes them next."
- Michael E. Gerber
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