CARLOS XUMA'S DATING ADVICE NEWSLETTER:
First Date Mistakes ...
|
Carlos Xuma and the TRUTH About Dating and
Attraction...
Because every
man is self-made, but only the SUCCESSFUL admit it.
Friday, 2:20 PM: Carlos Xuma's Desk
Ah. Vegas.
No place on earth symbolizes the word "sin" like Sin City.
And I'm going back there again this weekend. Can't wait!
By the time you read this, I'll be on a plane heading
over to plan the next big seminar in Las Vegas, and outlining all the exclusive
and NEW content
for this program.
Now all I have to do is catch up on my sleep so that
I can stay up all night when I get in...
And as a little peek into the future, I wanted to give
you guys a heads-up on something.
First, read this from a reader:
______________________
Thank you Carlos, thanks for all the advice. You've helped
a whole lot of guys out there, really.
The main reason I (and I'm sure a zillion other guys)
choose you over other 'experts' is because your stuff is the most holistic
in nature. You don't just give different 'methods' of eye contact, or conversation
starters, or seduction tricks and lines. You teach the guy how to be an Alpha
Man,which is the best thing anyone could do.
I don't know about
others, but I wouldn't always call you a dating expert. Maybe that's just
me, but what I love about your work is that it's something that you apply
to your life, and not just memorize and use on women. It's not a 'technique'
or a 'trick.' It's a transformation of self.
Just keep what you're doing Carlos, you're the best. Your
stuff helps us guys get better at tackling life's problems, and that includes
everything from jobs to women. And the best part is you're somebody we can
relate to. I get the feeling that you're not some guy sitting on a pedestal
giving out tips constantly, something I feel when I'm reading the material
of the other gurus. I feel like you're more like us; and that's really a great
feeling because it helps me understand your teachings better.
I'm sure other
guys would say the same. There is no other so-called 'dating guru' out there
with work that comes close to your's.
So thank you Carlos; I hope you're releasing another book like Secrets
of the Alpha Man again.
______________________
CARLOS:
Wow. Thanks man! You actually get it.
It's so
nice to be understood. Sniff
...
You hit it right on the head... this is a TRANSFORMATION
OF SELF. It's not for the faint of heart, but it will change your life in
ways that will make you a better and complete man.
I don't like to think of myself as a "guru," even though
it carries a positive connotation. I'd like to think of myself as a guide,
helping you find your own trail to your personal destiny. Your Great
Purpose.
And if I've helped one guy find that path, that's all that matters. Not being
some pundit on a podium pontificating about pickup.
Well, to give you guys out there a little buzz in advance,
YES, I am at work creating something very
special in
the very near future. This will really blow the doors off anything you've
seen out there about "pickup" or how to attract women.
This is the stuff that you've been asking for, and it will be completely
unique in this field.
Got you psyched?
Good!
I'll be telling you more soon on this, and even giving
you the exclusive opportunity to give me some feedback and input into the
creation of these new programs.
On to this week's newsletter...
QUESTION: First
Date Mistakes you can avoid...
I am a happy customer of your products, and I have already
purchased [several] products the last year...
What did your products gave me ? Quite simple :
When I first bought your Seduction Method, I was a shy guy , with no previous
success with women. 6 months after buying your books, I have kissed my first
woman (at 25 !!) and I have (happily) lost my virginity (it is never too
late !). In the following years, I have had some very nice successes.Those
are the facts. Less tangible (but real for me) is the target of the Alpha
Man you have given me.
It is still a project in work for me, and I make
some progress. It is a slow process, since I have to overcome a 25 year
bad "conditioning" (sorry, "education").
But I am patient.
Before asking you the questions, I have to describe
a bit how I see myself : before turning 25, I was what must be called a "sissy guy" : afraid
of everything, never speak up, shy, "too nice" with women,... At
23 began a 2 years of unemployement (due mainly to a reserved personality),
I have strongly reacted, and changed the way I was seeing myself and the world
radically, nearly overnight - the trigger was a small self-help book. I was
more optimistic, the fears disappeared, I was willing to do mistakes in order
to progress...
Results: 3 months later I was moving to Germany,
to my newly found job. Now, this personality change did not last more than
a few months : less than one year later, I was back to a lesser version
of myself, still better than before, but just a part of what I could be.
This "burst" of confidence
came a few more times, each time with real results, but never lasted more
than 2-3 months. I call now these moments "Alpha
Moments" (term
inspired from your books) since they seem to fit your description of the Alpha
Man.
I just come back from a first date with one of the girls
met on Thursday (we are on Sunday), and I had a mild result : a kiss, but
not really a passionate kiss. I have the feeling that this woman is afraid
of something - maybe she was burned in a previous relationship, or maybe I
have made a big mistake. In addition to that, the date did not run as expected,
since I have made several mistakes:
- The place I wanted to take her to was closed, and I
did not have a back-up plan. Bad planning from my side
- I have improvised and found a nice bar in the
neighbourhood. But it was a "bar date", followed by a "restaurant date",
therefore not as funny as it could be.
- Conversation was not optimal: we have spoken about "classic" things,
such as family, work,... We have also spoken about her problems (well,
she spoke and I listened). Conversation eventually died out.
- The date was too long : 4 hours - and I have paid for
everything, including a meal. She has really not a lot of money, so it was
OK from my side, but I cannot help feeling a bit used.
Despite all my mistakes, I was partly sucessful with the first kiss - it
just lacked passion, and I am annoyed by that.
So my question is : Is there a way to salvage the situation,
or is it a lost cause ?
I thank you in advance for the time you will be willing to spend on my letter.
With
best regards, S.D.
CARLOS XUMA'S ADVICE:
Wow, you guys know how to fill up an email. I had to cut
out a few of this reader's questions because it was just too long. (Keep it
short, guys. No one wants to read a manifesto. ;)
Great job on improving your attitude
and lifestyle with
my materials. You're understanding some of the core
attitude and inner game elements. Now it seems that you probably need to do a bit of reviewing, though,
so we can get your techniques for handling women back on track.
Yes, there are a few errors made here, but nothing you
couldn't have corrected along the way.
Let's review it....
1) Yes, you realized your error in not having a backup
location in case of a change in plans. An Alpha
Man has several backups to
ensure that he looks competent and intelligent. Line up at least 3 or 4 restaurants,
and KNOW THEIR SCHEDULE. Easily fixed.
2) Improvisation
is the essential skill of the Alpha
Man. There's nothing wrong with a "bar date" followed by a restaurant
date. In fact, you should always start this way. I do. That way if the woman
is not sufficiently entertaining and interesting, I can end it there with
no further obligation. I only take a woman to dinner who has demonstrated
that she is interesting and fun to be with.
Look, guys, you need to be screening women OUT, not desperately trying to
get her into bed. I've turned down more women than I've approved of. This
is a critical attitude difference between the average guy and the Alpha
Man.
3) The conversation is up to YOU.
CONTINUED...
 ®
CLICK
HERE TO LEARN MORE...
YOU decide what you want to talk about, and you
ask questions related to that. (I think you need my Alpha
Conversation & Persuasion more than you think!)
Conversation doesn't "die out." You just
lose your mojo and let it die out. A conversation is like a fire. You control
it with how much kindling you use. When it starts to die, you stoke it and
add more wood. SHE is the fireplace, and you are the guy helping things
along.
Don't talk about her problems!
Oy! That's the worst thing to focus on. I
think it probably went negative because you let that thread of conversation
keep going. I did this once in my past, letting a woman ramble on and on about
how her life wasn't going so well, instead of showing her just how f*ing fantastic
it would be with ME in it.
See the difference?
4) 4 Hours? Holy crap. The first time you meet a woman, I want you to remember
one thing:
LEAVE HER WANTING MORE!
It's human nature to not want something that we're overwhelmed with, and
you overwhelmed her.
You say you feel used? Uh, that's because you WERE used. You just got suckered on the path that millions of guys do every day
- paying for the "date."
Why would you want to bet a wad of money on a woman
that has not demonstrated herself to be an asset to you and your life? Stop
setting up "dates" and
start scheduling meet-ups with women that give you a chance to find out about
each other, not impress her with your ability to spend money.
Don't get me wrong - when I've got a woman in my life that I love and appreciate,
I will have no problem paying for things for her. But I'm not going to do
that until she's already ponied up a little effort of her own to impress me.
Now, the kiss was simply her way of saying, "I'll do this and not have
to see this guy ever again if I want to." Maybe it sounds mercenary,
but many women have no problem dealing with the after-date-kiss
as their repayment for your generosity. He paid for dinner; she pays with a kiss. And she doesn't
have to deal with the awkward task of telling you that you just didn't light
her fire.
Live and learn!
Move on, and do the next one right. You've just learned several valuable
lessons that you can now correct and improve with the next women you meet.
Don't waste this learning!
Remember the saying:
"Fool
me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me!"
And if you'd like to learn how to keep conversation
going, know exactly what to talk about, and even how to revive a failing
conversation, you need to learn Alpha
Conversation & Persuasion techniques.
Find out more HERE...
QUESTION:
Hey man, long time, no see...
Anyway, 3 of us that attended your seminar in Belgrade have been sarging
for some time and now we are finally getting phone numbers (and sometimes
instant dates) regularly.
Now, our biggest problem is flaking, in the sense
that, when we get a phone numbers, we call the next day, and they won't
go for day2, and this happens a lot to us. We know that this is because
of lack of TRUST and RAPPORT. By the way, we call on the next they immediately,
and we still get the player vibe. The girls ask us a lot "Do you approach
girls a lot? Do you do this regurarly? Do you say this to every girl?"
We even try to seem as if we were approaching for the
first time, we try to seem humble and not over-confident, yet we still get
the player vibe.
So, how do we achieve that trust and rapport in 2-10 minutes?
- Mark
CARLOS XUMA'S ADVICE:
Ah, the old "How do I get her to like me
in just a few moments together..."
Let's face one thing right away... Anyone that claims you can walk up to
a woman and have her number in just a few minutes is right. It's not that
hard once you get the hang of it. It's just like any acquired skill.
BUT to actually establish a level of trust that
will get her to re-connect with you will simply have to take MORE time and
show her MORE of the REAL you.
You can't be building trust when you're acting
according to scripts and routines, but as I taught you in the seminar, you
will get further with a sincere expression of feeling than you will with
a clever tactic that smells "game-y."
In short, you can't always use a technique to save your situation. Eventually
you must rely on the REAL you (your sincerity and authenticity) to get her
to believe in you.
I usually do this through the use of sincere statements
of interest. "Look,
I really think you're interesting and unique. I think we owe it to each other
to take a chance on meeting again."
Boom. Then you get her number.
CONTINUED...
______________________
Then you lock her in:
"Now, you're not the kind of girl who's going
to give her number just to get rid of a guy are you? Will you be smart enough
to see how much fun we'd have together? Wait, don't answer that. I'll ask
you again when I call. Have a nice day."
The reason their comments about being a player get to you is because you
secretly suspect you ARE being players.
Spend your first few minutes on the phone re-energizing
the conversation so
that she remembers why she gave you the phone number in the first place.
When a woman asks you if you approach women, you can
choose not to answer. And if she presses you, you say, "Yes. Would you prefer
not to have a confident man come talk to you if he finds you attractive and
interesting."
Remember, getting a phone number is relatively meaningless - it's necessary, but it only give you a second chance to start
all over again. For women, it's simply her way of saying, "Okay, I'll let you
interview for the position again later. But I'll forget you in the mass
of people applying for the job, so you have to start all over again when
you call me."
Get the Secrets of the Alpha Man and never make this mistake again with a
woman.
"NO WOMAN has the self-control to STOP pursuing
that which she TRULY desires..."
If you want to learn more about this concept, I
suggest you learn about REAL GAME …
The Alpha Man.
The reality is that True success with
women requires a firm
sense of direction in life, and self-confidence.
But you hear that all the time, don't you?
"Just be confident."
You'll hear that nugget of advice from a lot of
guys out there, but the difference is that they'll say "be confident," and
not give you ONE single method of actually improving
your confidence.
That's where I will help you.
I spent years trying out various self-help programs, studying
my own inner psychology (and inner wuss, too.) I figured out which things
make a difference and ...
... I will genuinely help you
improve your inner AND outer game with women.
When a woman senses that you've got passions and direction
in your life - even if that passion is to improve to be more attractive
to women - then
they'll want to come along for the ride.
I saw it over and over again as I went down this road.
Now, I also mapped this development, and I want you to benefit from my
experience.
There's no reason you should have to take as long as I did to make these changes
to your own life.
A Woman isn't looking for
a MAN - She's looking for a "Situation..."
For those of you out there reading this right now
that aren't sure how to calibrate to the "Alpha
Man" ideal, I have
something for you that you will find LIFE-CHANGING.
Click here
right now to find out what I'm talking about, or just read on...
A lot of the situations
guys write in about are a bit unclear because many guys delude themselves
as to their real level of success with
women. The reality is that most guys DO
NOT get what they
want from their interactions and relationships with women.
Crappy as that is, there is a cure for the common Lonely
Single Guy.
It's called EDUCATION.
It's the only way to stop being a whipped,
scared, beta guy and get your love life under your control again.
If you could learn secrets to attract
women, would you?
Can you see past
your ego defense mechanisms and embrace the power of the Alpha Man?
When you have enough women and action in your life, you
won't feel like you need to analyze or chase every chick that comes into your
sphere of influence. And that's a good thing. You'll act on it because
you've got a sense
of abundance in your life.
If you'd like to create your plan for making your life what you want, develop
confidence, attract women, accumulate wealth, find happiness...
I know there are some guys who won't understand how these concepts go together,
but all success in life is linked together by some common
principles.
If you're not getting what you want from life, you need to make some changes.
Stop putting your destiny off until some other 'convenient'
time...
Discover your inner Alpha
Man NOW
Click HERE
to learn more...
CLICK
HERE TO FIND OUT MORE ...
Listen
to what the other gurus are saying about Carlos' work...
"I've read every book and studied every system on dating and seduction.
The problem with most 'gurus' in this field is that they're not teaching
men how to build a solid foundation. Until you change your internal
belief system and adopt an Alpha mindset, all the tactics and techniques
in the world aren't going to do you any good. (Actually, it's like
learning just enough karate to get your ass kicked!) Carlos
Xuma is the best there is at teaching men how to develop their 'inner
game.' From there, he'll give you the complete set of tools for approaching
women, and life, with absolute confidence and skill. If you're in
this game to win it, these are the rules you
need to learn."
- "Supreme", M.A.C.K. Tactics co-creator
"Carlos Xuma is a man who has a clear passion for imparting the success
with women he has experienced to other guys worldwide. He approaches his
craft with immense integrity and a distinct style!"
- Scot McKay, X & Y
Communications, DeserveWhatYouWant.com
"Carlos Xuma is the REAL DEAL! If you are serious about
creating an extraordinary relationship. You will learn more about the
needs and desires of women than they do themselves! I highly recommend
Carlos to any man who is ready to get the woman of his dreams.
I love his game, its 100% real."
- the dean, Dating4Men.com
"Carlos Xuma is one of those rare guys in the field who actually GETS
what interacting with women is all about. His advice goes beyond
the pick-up lines and approach techniques that so many guys use
and fail with. Rather, Carlos gives guys everywhere practical, valuable
advice that will make men attractive not just for one night, but for many,
many years. He lays down the foundation for becoming a NATURALLY attractive
man, full of confidence and the ability to fully ENJOY being around hot
babes.
Unlike other pickup artists, Carlos shares information that helps you
not only in one area of life, but in many: in social relationships, at
work, sports, with personal goals. He'll help make you a well-rounded,
self-believing alpha MAN who's capable of just about anything.
And seducing gorgeous, high-quality women, is just the beginning."
- James Brito, How
to Be Irresistible to Women
"Carlos Xuma is one of the few men in the 'seduction' or 'attraction'
community who digs beneath the surface of passing attraction,
and Explores what it is to be a man who attracts women by virtue of his
character and, consequently, the natural outward expression of high character.
He brings words like 'discipline' and 'integrity' to
the forefront, and waddya know, those are exactly the qualities women
truly crave in a man."
- Grant Adams, CEO
- net2bed.com
"Hey Carlos, I write about the biology of men and women's behavior.
You seem to know the biology of behavior without knowing it. How
do you do that? You have a deep intuition of dynamics -
it took me 7 years of academic research to discover. And you find
sharp ways to apply it practically... Keep up the good work, brother."
- Joe Quirk, Author
of "Sperm are from Men, Eggs are from Women"
|
Remember what Carlos says:
"NO WOMAN has the self-control to STOP pursuing that
which she TRULY desires..."
Learn more about R.E.A.L.
Game ® and the successful attitudes of an Alpha Man: Take a look
at the original program that will put you on the path - Alpha
Immersion. This is the ORIGINAL Alpha
Man program that gives you the REAL Game with women.
Prove it to yourself - If you want to hear all the great
things everyone has to say about these books, go to the site and read the
reviews. And then download them now to see why more men get success with
my advice and strategies ...
CLICK
HERE TO LEARN MORE...
Listen to what this guy says about his experience
learning the Truth:
"I have purchased your Dating
Black Book and Approach
Women Now CD series. I have to tell you that after
reading the book and listening to the CDs I could help but feel
like the dorkiest man alive. I have let woman control my emotions
and have responded to them instead of them responding to me.
I always came off as a needy unconfident pervert!
"... I have learned to set standards and
not let a woman test me without busting their balls. I hope that if
I keep this up I will eventually find a woman that qualifies to be
in my life.
"One big thing too, if a woman sees that
I have things going on in my life, they tend to be more interested
instead of the bore I used to be. I have the motivation now to follow
my dreams and if a woman wants to be part of that then so be it, but
I have learned not to let a woman pull me off course of where I want
to go and do in my life..."
"Hey carlos, thank you for the Secrets
of the Alpha Man course. I think I must've listened to the
CDs four or five times now !
"The confidence I've gained in meeting
da ladeez at work and socially has been tremendous. I was never
skeptical at your
program, but was interested/concerned as how I would notice
the changes in myself. The clincher was when several of my closest
friends ... pointed out to me that I had confidence in so many ways!
"Thank you so much for your hard work for
making it easier for the rest of us!"
- Richie from UK
|
If you want to email Carlos a question,
send it only with THIS
EMAIL FORM.
"The difference between
great people and everyone else is that great people create their lives
actively, while everyone else is created by their lives, passively
waiting to see where life takes them next."
- Michael E. Gerber
|
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