CARLOS XUMA'S DATING ADVICE NEWSLETTER:
Getting Her Secrets ...
|
Carlos Xuma and the TRUTH About Dating and
Attraction...
Because every
man is self-made, but only the SUCCESSFUL admit it.
Friday, 2:20 PM: Carlos Xuma's Desk
The whole topic of "Approach
Anxiety" is really founded on a faulty core
belief. You probably feel this way. The faulty belief is: I'm afraid
of strangers.
We're brought up to believe this from childhood,
because our parents incorrectly programmed us for our "safety."
FACT: Most child abductions are by someone in the child's family.
Bet you didn't know that, did you. How's that for disinformation?
Try this one on...
FACT: You're being misled and manipulated
every day by the media.
Don't believe me?
Ever look at the pictures that CNN.com puts next to the latest bombing massacre
in the Middle East?
I have noticed that almost without exception, when they
don't have pictures they can use from the location, they publish a picture
of an angry mob. Every time. You see a headline of more Americans killed,
and then you see a picture of Middle-eastern men with angry faces. What kind
of neuro-associations do you think you make to that?
In fact, they've done studies where the news anchors who
present information about political figures (expecially the candidates for
president) will actually change their tone, eye motions, and body
language for the ones
they don't like or disagree with. Or that the information may be casting in
a bad light.
WHY? Why would this happen?
Ask yourself this when you see these kinds of associations being pushed on
you by the Media.
Back to the
fear of approaching...
You're afraid of approaching because it's been pushed into your brain since
you were just a kid. (Not because of evolution, or trapped energy in your
chakras, either.)
You are afraid because of the value we put on other peoples'
opinions.
Let me say that again:
You are afraid of other people's opinions of you.
This is the core and unmistakable source of all your inner turmoil regarding
approach. Once you have fully explored your own emotions and beliefs regarding
the power of other people's opinions, you will no longer find this intimidating.
Nor will you fear approaching
women.
On to this week's newsletter...
QUESTION: Approaching
Women
... DAD??!
Hey Carlos,
Thanks again mate for your advice its helped me out heaps I have no trouble
getting numbers or dates anymore and its all thanks to your E-books.
Although I would like to ask 1 thing, I was talking to
my dad and although he is happily married to my mum he still enjoys flirting
at parties, etc., with younger women just to see how they react. Now my dad
uses a very different approach so to speak. He is much more direct and yet
gets great response to it. He is never not offered sex or some kind of other
sexual favour (for want of a better word).
His approach is he immediately introduces himself then brings up anal sex
(weird but it works) it throws the girls of completely but then he makes [it]
out as a joke and presto he has them talking about sex within seconds of the
conversation beginning.
I was wondering if this approach is worth trying or does it only work for
some people or is it just my dad? Id like to experiment with a few other approaches
other then the one I've been using just to see how they go. When and where
would this approach be any good?
Steve
CARLOS XUMA'S ADVICE:
Ah, your dad is most certainly an Alpha
Man who understands that he needs
to keep his own masculinity warmed up to be interesting to your mom, and it's
likely that she understands this too and the big reason she's still attracted
to him.
The key to what he's doing is in his
tone and method of delivery. He is completely
congruent with his attitude, and deep underneath he knows that he's also not
really going to do anything with the women, so he comes across as completely
SAFE to the women. Depending on how old he is, they also take that into consideration.
So you could try this, but you might not have the same success because you
don't understand WHERE that attitude comes from that he uses to feel safe
to the ladies.
CONTINUED...
 ®
CLICK
HERE TO LEARN MORE...
This "safety" factor is a big deal when
it comes to women. It's something I'm explaining in an upcoming Advanced
Coaching program, and it's essential to understand for your ability to approach
women.
You can easily think of your own approaches and experiment. What you need
to do is understand that you must be completely congruent
and attached to the approach you use. If you are not, you'll give it away with your
body language and tonality, and women will not respond favorably. This is something I coach
men about with my REAL Game programs.
If you'd really like to learn how to approach
more effectively and create
your own openers for any situation, refer to my Approach
Women Now program.
Every approach is worth trying once, but you won't really make it effective
until you work it in and practice it. Do what works for you and your personality.
Don't try to use other people's material (something that a lot of guys do
and then wonder why it doesn't work), since you'll just come across as phony.
The important thing is that you APPROACH - period.
QUESTION: How
do you talk to her when she's busy all the time ...?
Hey Carlos, I started at relationship about 4 months ago with an amazing
girl. Maybe the girl of my dreams.
In the two months we had sex three times and it was good and she told me
she was fullfilled but here comes the problem now she says she wants to refrain
from having sex because she wants a relationship that don't revolve around
sex because all her past relationship was all about sex.
What should I do?
CARLOS XUMA'S ADVICE:
Ooh.
This is going to hurt a little, bro. Maybe even a lot.
Women only stop having sex with you for one of a few reasons:
1) She's not enjoying the sex.
2) She's not enjoying you. (i.e., she's not ATTRACTED to you.)
3) She loses her confidence in herself.
4) She doesn't feel loved.
And if she is going through a phase of doubting herself
or feeling unloved, then it's only because of her faith in you, which really
comes back around to # 2 again.
Remember, what she says to you doesn't mean DICK.
What she DOES is everything.
Bottom line: Her excuse about it not being about sex is probably because
she's had a moment where she felt a dip in the attraction, and then she was
given time to pause and reconsider her own feelings. And as I said, that is
something she can ONLY do when she's not sure about you.
CONTINUED...
______________________
She thinks: "Hmm, how do I feel about this
guy?"
Her brain answers:
A) "Not
that into him..."
OR
B) "I
don't know..."
OR
C) "I
want him..."
If it's C, she never doubts for a minute.
She never tries to hold back on sex. (If she does, this is truly a gesture
of someone with no attraction - or the sexually
damaged.)
If it's A or B, she'll start to hold back on giving herself to you because
she doesn't feel you're prize-able. And most guys scramble desperately to
get her back, and then they freak her out ...
... and then she's gone.
Now, remember what I say: "NO
WOMAN has the
self-control to STOP pursuing that which she TRULY desires..."
Think about that for a minute. When you really want someone, you can't stop
yourself from going after them. Anything less and she's not feeling it.
My guess is that you started talking and acting
like this was the "girl
of your dreams" and she started getting a vibe of insecurity and neediness
from you. That's why she's backing off. And I'll bet any amount of money you
also changed your behavior from what got you into the relationship to something
more sensitive and wussy.
You want to fix this?
Get back to whatever you did to get her in the first
place. Not hokey, stupid, romantic comedy stunts like playing "In Your Eyes" by
Peter Gabriel outside her window in the middle of the night.
- Tease her
- Demonstrate your independence
- Make a few decisions and don't let them get changed on you
- Be a leader in the relationship, not a 'partner'
Get back to demonstrating that you're really an Alpha Man.
What?
You don't know what that is?
Get the Secrets of the Alpha Man and never make this mistake again with a
woman.
"NO WOMAN has the self-control to STOP pursuing
that which she TRULY desires..."
If you want to learn more about this concept, I
suggest you learn about REAL GAME …
The Alpha Man.
The reality is that True success with
women requires a firm
sense of direction in life, and self-confidence.
But you hear that all the time, don't you?
"Just be confident."
You'll hear that nugget of advice from a lot of
guys out there, but the difference is that they'll say "be confident," and
not give you ONE single method of actually improving
your confidence.
That's where I will help you.
I spent years trying out various self-help programs, studying
my own inner psychology (and inner wuss, too.) I figured out which things
make a difference and ...
... I will genuinely help you
improve your inner AND outer game with women.
When a woman senses that you've got passions and direction
in your life - even if that passion is to improve to be more attractive
to women - then
they'll want to come along for the ride.
I saw it over and over again as I went down this road.
Now, I also mapped this development, and I want you to benefit from my
experience.
There's no reason you should have to take as long as I did to make these changes
to your own life.
A Woman isn't looking for
a MAN - She's looking for a "Situation..."
For those of you out there reading this right now
that aren't sure how to calibrate to the "Alpha
Man" ideal, I have
something for you that you will find LIFE-CHANGING.
Click here
right now to find out what I'm talking about, or just read on...
A lot of the situations
guys write in about are a bit unclear because many guys delude themselves
as to their real level of success with
women. The reality is that most guys DO
NOT get what they
want from their interactions and relationships with women.
Crappy as that is, there is a cure for the common Lonely
Single Guy.
It's called EDUCATION.
It's the only way to stop being a whipped,
scared, beta guy and get your love life under your control again.
If you could learn secrets to attract
women, would you?
Can you see past
your ego defense mechanisms and embrace the power of the Alpha Man?
When you have enough women and action in your life, you
won't feel like you need to analyze or chase every chick that comes into your
sphere of influence. And that's a good thing. You'll act on it because
you've got a sense
of abundance in your life.
If you'd like to create your plan for making your life what you want, develop
confidence, attract women, accumulate wealth, find happiness...
I know there are some guys who won't understand how these concepts go together,
but all success in life is linked together by some common
principles.
If you're not getting what you want from life, you need to make some changes.
Stop putting your destiny off until some other 'convenient'
time...
Discover your inner Alpha
Man NOW
Click HERE
to learn more...
CLICK
HERE TO FIND OUT MORE ...
Listen
to what the other gurus are saying about Carlos' work...
"I've read every book and studied every system on dating and seduction.
The problem with most 'gurus' in this field is that they're not teaching
men how to build a solid foundation. Until you change your internal
belief system and adopt an Alpha mindset, all the tactics and techniques
in the world aren't going to do you any good. (Actually, it's like
learning just enough karate to get your ass kicked!) Carlos
Xuma is the best there is at teaching men how to develop their 'inner
game.' From there, he'll give you the complete set of tools for approaching
women, and life, with absolute confidence and skill. If you're in
this game to win it, these are the rules you
need to learn."
- "Supreme", M.A.C.K. Tactics co-creator
"Carlos Xuma is a man who has a clear passion for imparting the success
with women he has experienced to other guys worldwide. He approaches his
craft with immense integrity and a distinct style!"
- Scot McKay, X & Y
Communications, DeserveWhatYouWant.com
"Carlos Xuma is the REAL DEAL! If you are serious about
creating an extraordinary relationship. You will learn more about the
needs and desires of women than they do themselves! I highly recommend
Carlos to any man who is ready to get the woman of his dreams.
I love his game, its 100% real."
- the dean, Dating4Men.com
"Carlos Xuma is one of those rare guys in the field who actually GETS
what interacting with women is all about. His advice goes beyond
the pick-up lines and approach techniques that so many guys use
and fail with. Rather, Carlos gives guys everywhere practical, valuable
advice that will make men attractive not just for one night, but for many,
many years. He lays down the foundation for becoming a NATURALLY attractive
man, full of confidence and the ability to fully ENJOY being around hot
babes.
Unlike other pickup artists, Carlos shares information that helps you
not only in one area of life, but in many: in social relationships, at
work, sports, with personal goals. He'll help make you a well-rounded,
self-believing alpha MAN who's capable of just about anything.
And seducing gorgeous, high-quality women, is just the beginning."
- James Brito, How
to Be Irresistible to Women
"Carlos Xuma is one of the few men in the 'seduction' or 'attraction'
community who digs beneath the surface of passing attraction,
and Explores what it is to be a man who attracts women by virtue of his
character and, consequently, the natural outward expression of high character.
He brings words like 'discipline' and 'integrity' to
the forefront, and waddya know, those are exactly the qualities women
truly crave in a man."
- Grant Adams, CEO
- net2bed.com
"Hey Carlos, I write about the biology of men and women's behavior.
You seem to know the biology of behavior without knowing it. How
do you do that? You have a deep intuition of dynamics -
it took me 7 years of academic research to discover. And you find
sharp ways to apply it practically... Keep up the good work, brother."
- Joe Quirk, Author
of "Sperm are from Men, Eggs are from Women"
|
Remember what Carlos says:
"NO WOMAN has the self-control to STOP pursuing that
which she TRULY desires..."
Learn more about R.E.A.L.
Game ® and the successful attitudes of an Alpha Man: Take a look
at the original program that will put you on the path - Alpha
Immersion. This is the ORIGINAL Alpha
Man program that gives you the REAL Game with women.
Prove it to yourself - If you want to hear all the great
things everyone has to say about these books, go to the site and read the
reviews. And then download them now to see why more men get success with
my advice and strategies ...
CLICK
HERE TO LEARN MORE...
Listen to what this guy says about his experience
learning the Truth:
"I have purchased your Dating
Black Book and Approach
Women Now CD series. I have to tell you that after
reading the book and listening to the CDs I could help but feel
like the dorkiest man alive. I have let woman control my emotions
and have responded to them instead of them responding to me.
I always came off as a needy unconfident pervert!
"... I have learned to set standards and
not let a woman test me without busting their balls. I hope that if
I keep this up I will eventually find a woman that qualifies to be
in my life.
"One big thing too, if a woman sees that
I have things going on in my life, they tend to be more interested
instead of the bore I used to be. I have the motivation now to follow
my dreams and if a woman wants to be part of that then so be it, but
I have learned not to let a woman pull me off course of where I want
to go and do in my life..."
"Hey carlos, thank you for the Secrets
of the Alpha Man course. I think I must've listened to the
CDs four or five times now !
"The confidence I've gained in meeting
da ladeez at work and socially has been tremendous. I was never
skeptical at your
program, but was interested/concerned as how I would notice
the changes in myself. The clincher was when several of my closest
friends ... pointed out to me that I had confidence in so many ways!
"Thank you so much for your hard work for
making it easier for the rest of us!"
- Richie from UK
|
If you want to email Carlos a question,
send it only with THIS
EMAIL FORM.
"The difference between
great people and everyone else is that great people create their lives
actively, while everyone else is created by their lives, passively
waiting to see where life takes them next."
- Michael E. Gerber
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