CARLOS XUMA'S DATING ADVICE NEWSLETTER:
Women Who Mess With You...
|
Carlos Xuma and the TRUTH About Dating and
Attraction...
Because every
man is self-made, but only the SUCCESSFUL admit it.
Friday, 6:30 PM:
I realized something this week. I had just finished reading
a book on achieving more of a "present moment" mindset, and I realized that
I have only been partially enlightened these past few years.
Yes, I meditate and practice a lot of mental rituals
that leave me pretty anxiety free, as well as very happy. But it doesn't steal
my will and drive, and I think a lot of guys believe that living in a state
of mental calmness will suck your will to live.
Quite the opposite, actually. When your head is clear,
you can better relate to the world around you, and deal with the problems
that come your way.
In fact, I had one of those moments with a woman who has
been forever on the edge of being a part of my world, but has always qualified
herself out of it. I don't know why she does this, but I know that I've reached
a stage in life where a lot of women just don't feel worthy of being a part
of my world. I don't mean this in any kind of angry, superior way, but just
that they realize they haven't got their shit together, and then use it as
a reason to distance themselves from me.
I'm over-qualifying myself with women without even trying.
This is my next sticking point to work on. Oh, yes. Carlos
has a couple that come up from time to time.
My new focus is how to be an Accessible Alpha Man. It's
easy to achieve a level of success and fulfillment that other people will
disqualify themselves from, whether it's because of low self-image, or just
a neurotic sense of inadequacy, they don't want to be faced with their own
shortcomings. Sometimes being around a man who knows what he wants and is
going after it is awfully intimidating.
Hey, as we say, it's a high quality
problem, but it's
something for me to work on next.
Read on ...
QUESTION: Chicks
with Game ...
Back in 2004 & 2005, I was involved with a woman
that had so much game, she would put most attendees to your seminars off
balance. No, really. And true to form, back in that time, I did everything,
I mean everything you have preached NOT to do. Send flowers? Hey, not once
a month, no, no, no. Once a week for over a year. Not standing up for myself?
The quintissential milk toast. You name it, I did it. I would have done
just about anything for this woman. Getting the picture?
Obviously, the relationship-you can't really call it that-deteriorated into
a nothingness. Admittedly, both of us were cruel to one another at various
times and, admittedly, most of the problems that incurred were as a direct
result of me being a very pathetic excuse for a human being. But at one point,
I told her, hey, I needed a break from her. She agreed. Two days later, she
calls me up and said can't we try it one more time. Of course with my head
stuck so far up an orifice in an impossibly anatomical position, I caved.
Two months later, again I said I need a break from her. Two days later she
comes over to my house again asking to give it one more try. Again, still
with my head firmly implanted in that same orifice, I caved. Couldn't say
no. Finally, finally, I break it off, SEVEN months later.
Now, here is the question. She's calling now in 2007 wanting to have lunch.
Keep in mind, everyone, and I mean everyone, loves this lady. She's funny,
unbelievably witty, USED to be very sexy to me. I really want to say I do
not want to share lunch with someone who I know has the capacity for that
kind of cruelty and the ability to manipulate as very few can. Oh, one more
thing. I occasionally have to work with this woman. Perfect!
But where I am right now, I don't want to make room in my world for someone
who has the capacity for cruelty and manipulation. It's not out of arrogance,
bitterness or anger. It's just a rock solid knowingness that I do not want
to share my world with someone like that.
What would you do? Any thoughts on what to say in a PHONE call?
Oh, by the way, part of how I got here, where I am right now, was listening
to what you and David D say.
Any thoughts would be appreciated.
David
CARLOS XUMA'S ADVICE:
Always a great question from you, Dave...
As guys, we often find there are these women with a strange
power over us.
We love to hate them.
There are 2 ways I can see you handling this situation, and either would
work depending on where you are on your Alpha Man path right now:
1) Ignore her, avoid the lunch, but be friendly.
2) View this as an opportunity to learn and grow.
What a fantastic challenge! I love having people like
this in my life because they represent a unique opportunity - to take
my social skills to the next level and figure out a complicated and
tricky situation. It's like a puzzle I've been assigned to solve. A Sudoku
Puzzle of human psychology.
I understand that women like this can be very tiring to handle, and you'd
probably just as soon NOT have to deal with her, but since you have to for
work, why not make the most of it?
First - Get her to take you to lunch. You deserve
a free meal today. Tell her: "Okay, but lunch is on you this time."
Second - as far as what to say on the
call, use it as a chance to try out a few things.
Let's say she's got an evil streak of putting people down. I'd probably bait
her into putting someone down, and then see if you can get her to turn
her own opinion down.
CONTINUED...
Do you know what
 ®
is?
CLICK HERE TO LEARN
HER: "Oh, Sheila is SUCH a bitch! I can't believe
they haven't fired her."
YOU: "So you're saying she doesn't have ANY redeeming qualities?"
HER: "Not really."
YOU: "Well what do you suppose she would say about you?"
HER: "Uh, I guess she might say I'm a control freak."
YOU: "Hmm. Are you?"
You see what you can do with a little mischievous curiosity? You can start
to learn the subtleties of social control and persuasion. Think of her as
your personal lab project that you're doing a research study on. That's how
I handle these people.
This is something I cover in detail in my new program,
by the way: Alpha
Man Conversation & Persuasion.
I'm not saying you have to date the woman, only let her
help you with your own goals. Remember, everyone you meet is going to either
get you to help them with their goals, or you can get them to help
you with your own goals.
Which do you prefer?
If you're ever in a situation where you're forced to deal
with a difficult person, it's your own personal obligation to make the most
of the situation. I have someone in my life like this, and I use every opportunity
I'm with her to see what I can accomplish with my newest skills.
My point is simply this: Don't get TOO used to avoiding difficult situations
and people. You may be taking the easy way out.
I cover the complete ins and outs of handling difficult
people in my Alpha
Man Conversation & Persuasion
program.
QUESTION: I'm
not in right now, but you can read my witty and delicious newsletter
...
Carlos!
Thanks so much for your advice [The
Dating Black Book]! I feel myself changing and molding into a better self. I bring confidence
to the table not only at dates, bars, parties, but also at work. People
see that I mean business and that I’m on my own path to personal greatness. I’m
coming into a promotion very soon and also getting random job offers! People
see the passion!
Do you have any hints on what I should put up as
an away message on my AIM? I go out quite a bit and I do know women that
I know personally that check my away message. Usually I put “Out…” or “A night
out on the town ;)” (with one of those winks @ the end)
Also, I live in an apartment complex and was wondering
if it’s a good
idea to start dating a neighbor?
Thanks so much!
CARLOS XUMA'S ADVICE:
That’s what I’m talking about!
PASSION!
That’s the fuel for an Alpha
Man’s life. If you just embrace
these concepts, you’ll create a lifestyle that other men will envy.
Now, first of all, don't date neighbors. Women
don't go for it. Too weird. Think this situation through for a minute and
you'll realize why. Can you imagine wondering if she's watching you go
out with friends? Watching for your car to appear? Peeking in your windows?
It's like a shake-and-bake stalking
situation, just add romance. I wouldn't
bother because very few women will indulge this one; they know that it's scarcity
thinking to want to date your neighbor. It's just creepy.
Your question about the AIM “away” message is interesting. You
see, I’ve never thought of these things in terms of what will get a
certain response, but only in the message I want to
communicate to women.
I want them to know that:
A) I’m moving forward in life. I’ve
got goals and PURPOSE.
B) I don’t NEED women. I want them, but I don’t
need them.
C) I’m one FUN motherf***** to be with.
By operating on the basis of acting
on principle rather than results, I stop chasing the carrot. I don’t alter my path to get something. I know that
even if I don’t get what I would have liked from the interaction, I
will learn, I will be sticking to my beliefs and values, and I
will not be sacrificing integrity.
But you don’t want a lecture on my philosophy,
you just want to know what to say, right?
CONTINUED...
______________________
Here’s what *I* would use for my "Away" message:
“Gone out to find adventure in the REAL world… Back when I need
a rest…”
“Life’s an adventure… what are
you doing in front of your computer?”
“I’m out having fun … why aren’t
you with me?”
“Sorry, too busy to haunt my computer and geek out… Come
out and play!”
Do I say this to GET a certain reaction? No. This is how I REALLY feel.
People talk about “natural” game a lot, and that’s
the essence of what I teach, but I also add in so much more. This is REAL Game, the ability to be real with a woman, AND attract her.
If you want to learn more about this concept, I
suggest you learn about REAL GAME …
The Alpha Man.
The reality is that True success with
women requires a firm
sense of direction in life, and self-confidence.
But you hear that all the time, don't you?
"Just be confident."
You'll hear that nugget of advice from a lot of
guys out there, but the difference is that they'll say "be confident," and
not give you ONE single method of actually improving
your confidence.
That's where I will help you.
I spent years trying out various self-help programs, studying
my own inner psychology (and inner wuss, too.) I figured out which things
make a difference and ...
...I will genuinely help you
improve your inner game with women.
When a woman senses that you've got passions and direction
in your life - even if that passion is to improve to be more attractive
to women - then
they'll want to come along for the ride.
I saw it over and over again as I went down this road.
Now, I also mapped this development, and I want you to benefit from my
experience.
There's no reason you should have to take as long as I did to make these changes
to your own life.
For those of you out there reading this right now
that aren't sure how to calibrate to the "Alpha
Man" ideal, I have
something for you that you will find LIFE-CHANGING.
Click here
right now to find out what I'm talking about, or just read on...
A lot of the situations
guys write in about are a bit unclear because many guys delude themselves
as to their real level of success with
women. The reality is that most guys DO
NOT get what they
want from their interactions and relationships with women.
Shitty as that is, there is a cure for the common Lonely
Single Guy.
It's called EDUCATION.
It's the only way to stop being a whipped,
scared, beta guy and get your love life under your control again.
If you could learn secrets to attract
women, would you?
Can you see past
your ego defense mechanisms and embrace the power of the Alpha Man?
When you have enough women and action in your life, you
won't feel like you need to analyze or chase every chick that comes into your
sphere of influence. And that's a good thing. You'll act on it because
you've got a sense
of abundance in your life.
If you'd like to create your plan for making your life what you want, develop
confidence, attract women, accumulate wealth, find happiness...
I know there are some guys who won't understand how these concepts go together,
but all success in life is linked together by some common
principles.
If you're not getting what you want from life, you need to make some changes.
Stop putting your destiny off until some other 'convenient'
time...
Discover your inner Alpha
Man now... Click HERE
to learn more...
CLICK
HERE TO FIND OUT MORE ...
Listen
to what the other gurus are saying about Carlos' work...
"Carlos Xuma is a man who has a clear passion for imparting the success
with women he has experienced to other guys worldwide. He approaches his
craft with immense integrity and a distinct style!"
- Scot McKay, X & Y
Communications, DeserveWhatYouWant.com
"Carlos Xuma is the REAL DEAL! If you are serious about
creating an extraordinary relationship. You will learn more about the
needs and desires of women than they do themselves! I highly recommend
Carlos to any man who is ready to get the woman of his dreams.
I love his game, its 100% real."
- the dean, Dating4Men.com
"Carlos Xuma is one of those rare guys in the field who actually GETS
what interacting with women is all about. His advice goes beyond
the pick-up lines and approach techniques that so many guys use
and fail with. Rather, Carlos gives guys everywhere practical, valuable
advice that will make men attractive not just for one night, but for many,
many years. He lays down the foundation for becoming a NATURALLY attractive
man, full of confidence and the ability to fully ENJOY being around hot
babes.
Unlike other pickup artists, Carlos shares information that helps you
not only in one area of life, but in many: in social relationships, at
work, sports, with personal goals. He'll help make you a well-rounded,
self-believing alpha MAN who's capable of just about anything.
And seducing gorgeous, high-quality women, is just the beginning."
- James Brito, How
to Be Irresistible to Women
"Carlos Xuma is one of the few men in the 'seduction' or 'attraction'
community who digs beneath the surface of passing attraction,
and Explores what it is to be a man who attracts women by virtue of his
character and, consequently, the natural outward expression of high character.
He brings words like 'discipline' and 'integrity' to
the forefront, and waddya know, those are exactly the qualities women
truly crave in a man."
- Grant Adams, CEO
- net2bed.com
"Hey Carlos, I write about the biology of men and women's behavior.
You seem to know the biology of behavior without knowing it. How
do you do that? You have a deep intuition of dynamics -
it took me 7 years of academic research to discover. And you find
sharp ways to apply it practically... Keep up the good work, brother."
- Joe Quirk, Author
of "Sperm are from Men, Eggs are from Women"
|
Remember what Carlos says:
"NO WOMAN has the self-control to STOP pursuing that
which she TRULY desires..."
Learn more about R.E.A.L.
Game ® and the successful attitudes of an Alpha Man: Take a look
at the original program that will put you on the path - Alpha
Immersion. This is the ORIGINAL Alpha
Man program that gives you the REAL Game with women.
Prove it to yourself - If you want to hear all the great
things everyone has to say about these books, go to the site and read the
reviews. And then download them now to see why more men get success with
my advice and strategies ...
CLICK
HERE TO LEARN MORE...
Listen to what this guy says about his experience
learning the Truth:
"I have purchased your Dating
Black Book and Approach
Women Now CD series. I have to tell you that after
reading the book and listening to the CDs I could help but feel
like the dorkiest man alive. I have let woman control my emotions
and have responded to them instead of them responding to me.
I always came off as a needy unconfident pervert!
"... I have learned to set standards and
not let a woman test me without busting their balls. I hope that if
I keep this up I will eventually find a woman that qualifies to be
in my life.
"One big thing too, if a woman sees that
I have things going on in my life, they tend to be more interested
instead of the bore I used to be. I have the motivation now to follow
my dreams and if a woman wants to be part of that then so be it, but
I have learned not to let a woman pull me off course of where I want
to go and do in my life..."
"Hey carlos, thank you for the Secrets
of the Alpha Man course. I think I must've listened to the
CDs four or five times now !
"The confidence I've gained in meeting
da ladeez at work and socially has been tremendous. I was never
skeptical at your
program, but was interested/concerned as how I would notice
the changes in myself. The clincher was when several of my closest
friends ... pointed out to me that I had confidence in so many ways!
"Thank you so much for your hard work for
making it easier for the rest of us!"
- Richie from UK
|
If you want to email Carlos a question,
send it only with THIS
EMAIL FORM.
"The difference between
great people and everyone else is that great people create their lives
actively, while everyone else is created by their lives, passively
waiting to see where life takes them next."
- Michael E. Gerber
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