Can you get your confidence back? Abso-freakin'-lutely!

Hey Carlos,

Your stuff is very interesting. I've got a question for you. I'm 50 years of age, a bit of gray, but not much, in pretty good physical shape and wondering what to do. I lost the love of my life about a year ago. Sixteen years younger, pretty, what I thought was the perfect girl. We were married for 10 years.

Can you help me and is there any hope? For me it seems like the only way to get over this is to find someone to replace her. Is that possible at this stage in my life?

Appreciate your feed back.

Sincerely,

Mark
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CARLOS ANSWERS:

It's funny when you say "interesting." I thought the same thing when I started observing these patterns and understanding how the attraction game worked with women. It was kind of my way of not having my reality shattered too hard.

But on to your question...

Can I help you?

YES.

Absolutely, positively, no doubt about it.

How do I know this?

Because I've helped thousands of guys in this situation before.

Interestingly, the cure for what ails you is in the way you perceive your situation. If you are stuck on the belief that this woman is (was?) the "love of your life," you will basically be cementing yourself into a mindset that doesn't give you alternatives to change your situation.

Think about it this way: What if I believed - in my heart - that I was incapable of speaking Italian. I just COULD NOT EVER speak that language. My tongue just couldn't make the sounds or whatever.

Would I ever try?

Would I ever be able to travel to Italy with any joy, or would I be locked in fear of not being able to communicate?

I would avoid people that spoke Italian for fear of the situation that would put me in.

Now, this sounds a bit abstract and maybe a bit extreme, but that's what happens when you lock yourself into the belief that this woman was the "love of your life." What you're doing is pinning a very self-limiting belief on yourself that says there is only this woman for you.

You'll be forever hung up on her. You'll go through photo books of you and her and constantly remind yourself of what you lost.

Your whole life, in fact, becomes "Mark's Story About How He Lost The Love Of His Life."

Maybe you can make a movie out of it.

Get someone really tragic to play the lead.

I'm pushing this point and being a sarcastic jerk because this is brutally TRUE.

If you don't free yourself of this limiting belief, NO ONE will be able to help you.

You need to get UN-haunted, as I like to say.

As for whether or not you can find someone to replace her, well - YES, you can.

But you can't if you don't believe it.

You see, right now I sense that you're on the fence as to whether or not you can do this. You probably know logically and rationally that it's possible, but your beliefs and emotions are fighting you.

FIGHT BACK.

I have instructed people in their seventies in Martial Arts.

There are COUNTLESS stories of people hooking up and finding someone in their 40s, 50s, 60s, and beyond.

I sense that you might be waiting for a decision from outside to finally put your heart behind this effort. If I told you yes, would that give you enough permission to believe in yourself?

I think you've got that right now. You just need to make the decision.

That's something I cannot do for you.

But I can help you be more confident IN that decision.

If you haven't already gotten it, you can get your self-confidence HERE...

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