Why do you need validation? Can you let go of this and be more secure?
VALIDATION
______________________
Part of our needs as humans is to get validation along the way to assure us and make us feel approved of. We sought this validation and approval from our parents and peers when we were children, and we never really let go of that need when we had to "grow up." As a result, we become insecure and needy, and we lose our Alpha Man frame.
Limit the amount of approval you need from other people.
And work to let go of this need as much as possible.
You can't worry too much about what other people think about you. It's easy to go through life seeking approval and never really accomplish anything because you're trying to please everyone. You can't make everyone like you, and it's a belief that you must leave behind.
(Willie Loman in "Death of a Salesman" fails to achieve for this same reason. He thinks it's better to be liked that to achieve worthwhile goals.)
What this means for you in dating is that you need to be able to communicate, through subtle and not-so-subtle methods, that you do not need her approval. A woman will not feel attracted to a man if she feels she has any influence over his sense of self-esteem.
How do you communicate this?
One way is to find and pursue your own personal interests. This can be as simple as a hobby or a sport interest, like swimming or weight training.
The best way you can demonstrate your independence is to have goals outside of dating. Having a personal direction or mission (something I discuss at length in The Secrets of the Alpha Man) is immensely attractive for a woman. It shows women that you have a life outside of pursuing them. Hint that you have a hidden depth to your character that they need to explore and discover.
The more you seek approval and validation, the more it will elude you.
______________________
Part of our needs as humans is to get validation along the way to assure us and make us feel approved of. We sought this validation and approval from our parents and peers when we were children, and we never really let go of that need when we had to "grow up." As a result, we become insecure and needy, and we lose our Alpha Man frame.
Limit the amount of approval you need from other people.
And work to let go of this need as much as possible.
You can't worry too much about what other people think about you. It's easy to go through life seeking approval and never really accomplish anything because you're trying to please everyone. You can't make everyone like you, and it's a belief that you must leave behind.
(Willie Loman in "Death of a Salesman" fails to achieve for this same reason. He thinks it's better to be liked that to achieve worthwhile goals.)
What this means for you in dating is that you need to be able to communicate, through subtle and not-so-subtle methods, that you do not need her approval. A woman will not feel attracted to a man if she feels she has any influence over his sense of self-esteem.
How do you communicate this?
One way is to find and pursue your own personal interests. This can be as simple as a hobby or a sport interest, like swimming or weight training.
The best way you can demonstrate your independence is to have goals outside of dating. Having a personal direction or mission (something I discuss at length in The Secrets of the Alpha Man) is immensely attractive for a woman. It shows women that you have a life outside of pursuing them. Hint that you have a hidden depth to your character that they need to explore and discover.
The more you seek approval and validation, the more it will elude you.
alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men
posted by Carlos Xuma at 8:18 AM
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