Your girlfriend's boyfriend isn't you...

Hey Carlos. I've got a question for ya.

Is it ever okay to date a friend's ex? Well maybe friend is a strong word, he's more like an aquantince of mine. I see him once or twice a year at church or something.

Anyway, this woman he dated years ago I ran into today and we chatted for a few minutes and I felt a real attraction for this one. I think I'm getting a good vibe too, but I'm still unsure if I should ask her out because of this "moral" dillema.

Whenever I do run into this guy, we usually hang out and have a good time, so I wouldn't want him to think that I stabbed him in the back or anything.

Thanks,
D. D.

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CARLOS:

I'm thinking this might not be as complicated as you're making it.

Let's look at the facts:

1) He's not THAT close a friend.

2) He dated her YEARS ago.

I think there's more than adequate separation here for you to lose the guilt.

Dude, it's hard enough to find decent women, so don't close the window of opportunity when it works for you.

What I sense underneath all this, though, is that you're secretly ashamed of pursuing a woman and having that be put "out there."

You see, there's nothing wrong with wanting women, including women that were involved with friends.

Don't repress your natural male desire to get jiggy with women. Go ahead. Admit it, you want SEX. AKA: the Nasty.

It's okay.

Seek women. Go after what you want.

And if you have a concern about your 'acquaintance' having a problem with it, why don't you just call him up and tell him you're interested in her. If he's any kind of man, he'll give you his blessing.

If he doesn't, he's not much of a friend, and you should go ahead anyway.

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