She's sleeping with her friend while you write me emails...
QUESTION:
Last year I met a 40 year old woman (but she looks to be in her late 20's) at work. Acting cocky and humorous, I got her to notice me.
We went out for drinks the first time around and I told her that I had a girlfriend. Being the kind of person she is, she didn't act on her attraction towards me.
The second time we went out for drinks I kind of blew it by being somewhat crude in my approach, and not being as cocky towards her as how I initially started out.
Today she knows I am single but now she's sleeping with a guy she refers to as just her friend but cannot see herself being with him in the long run.
Question: How do I rekindle her initial attraction to me that I know that she felt for me initially??
What steps do I have to make to magnify those seeds of attraction?
------------------------
CARLOS:
So now she's sleeping with a guy who offers no relationship potential, huh?
Gee. That's a new one. (Sarcasm intended.)
She's attracted to him and staying with him because he's showing her challenge. He's not smothering her or rushing her into a relationship.
Well, we don't need to go into all the reasons why she's with him, just look at the ways you can trade places with him.
1) Are you still in contact with her? If so, you need to be using those contacts to deepen her attraction. If you're seeing her on purely friendship terms -- STOP IT! You're ruining your chances, and you'll never be able to break out of "friend" mode.
2) How did she act when she knew you were single? Did she change her behavior from then to now in any way? If she did, she was probably stirred by the prospect of you suddenly being in demand by another woman.
3) Ignore your 'competition.'
Just do everything better than he has been. Or everything that he's stopped doing, 'cause I guarantee you he has stopped doing what he needs to, or will soon. Don't ever act jealous of him or even acknowledge him. It sounds like her telling you that there was no relationship potential with this guy is her way of telling you that she's open to the possibility of the next guy.
(Remember: Some women just don't like to be alone. She wants to line up her next Knight in Shining Armor in advance.)
Start joking with her in a cocky way that she knows she wants to 'trade up.' Tell her she should 'act now, before she misses her opportunity.' Make it slightly joking, but slightly serious as well.
4) You should probably express your romantic interest in her via non-verbal means. You need to get her attraction mechanism started. I suggest going out to drinks and showing her some confidence and mystery.
Talk about some deep, non-sexual topics. (But avoid therapy-talk.) Get her to open up about her emotions. Then start showing her that you *might* be interested in her romantically. Hold her glance too long. *Accidentally* brush her hand with yours. Leave her wondering, "Is he digging me?"
The bottom line here would be to make sure you two are not behaving as friends, or even letting this go non-romantic in any way. Don't let her think that you're just a guy friend that she can unload on, or just go out on *platonic* activities. She has to feel the sexual tension.
(All the while, make her know that you're not waiting around on her. She has to know she can't just dilly dally around on the sidelines.)
You have to be willing to lose her as a friend to gain her as a lover. After the amount of time you've known her, she should know whether or not her interest is there. She'll convey that interest level through her actions (not necessarily through her words.)
You just have to be funny, confident, alluring (mysterious), in control (self-control of your wimpy tendencies), and a challenge. Be playful, be unpredictable. But do SOMETHING other than what you have been.
As a famous man once said, you keep doing what you've been doing, you'll keep getting what you've been getting.
Now, if you want to get something different, you should get the Secrets.
Last year I met a 40 year old woman (but she looks to be in her late 20's) at work. Acting cocky and humorous, I got her to notice me.
We went out for drinks the first time around and I told her that I had a girlfriend. Being the kind of person she is, she didn't act on her attraction towards me.
The second time we went out for drinks I kind of blew it by being somewhat crude in my approach, and not being as cocky towards her as how I initially started out.
Today she knows I am single but now she's sleeping with a guy she refers to as just her friend but cannot see herself being with him in the long run.
Question: How do I rekindle her initial attraction to me that I know that she felt for me initially??
What steps do I have to make to magnify those seeds of attraction?
------------------------
CARLOS:
So now she's sleeping with a guy who offers no relationship potential, huh?
Gee. That's a new one. (Sarcasm intended.)
She's attracted to him and staying with him because he's showing her challenge. He's not smothering her or rushing her into a relationship.
Well, we don't need to go into all the reasons why she's with him, just look at the ways you can trade places with him.
1) Are you still in contact with her? If so, you need to be using those contacts to deepen her attraction. If you're seeing her on purely friendship terms -- STOP IT! You're ruining your chances, and you'll never be able to break out of "friend" mode.
2) How did she act when she knew you were single? Did she change her behavior from then to now in any way? If she did, she was probably stirred by the prospect of you suddenly being in demand by another woman.
3) Ignore your 'competition.'
Just do everything better than he has been. Or everything that he's stopped doing, 'cause I guarantee you he has stopped doing what he needs to, or will soon. Don't ever act jealous of him or even acknowledge him. It sounds like her telling you that there was no relationship potential with this guy is her way of telling you that she's open to the possibility of the next guy.
(Remember: Some women just don't like to be alone. She wants to line up her next Knight in Shining Armor in advance.)
Start joking with her in a cocky way that she knows she wants to 'trade up.' Tell her she should 'act now, before she misses her opportunity.' Make it slightly joking, but slightly serious as well.
4) You should probably express your romantic interest in her via non-verbal means. You need to get her attraction mechanism started. I suggest going out to drinks and showing her some confidence and mystery.
Talk about some deep, non-sexual topics. (But avoid therapy-talk.) Get her to open up about her emotions. Then start showing her that you *might* be interested in her romantically. Hold her glance too long. *Accidentally* brush her hand with yours. Leave her wondering, "Is he digging me?"
The bottom line here would be to make sure you two are not behaving as friends, or even letting this go non-romantic in any way. Don't let her think that you're just a guy friend that she can unload on, or just go out on *platonic* activities. She has to feel the sexual tension.
(All the while, make her know that you're not waiting around on her. She has to know she can't just dilly dally around on the sidelines.)
You have to be willing to lose her as a friend to gain her as a lover. After the amount of time you've known her, she should know whether or not her interest is there. She'll convey that interest level through her actions (not necessarily through her words.)
You just have to be funny, confident, alluring (mysterious), in control (self-control of your wimpy tendencies), and a challenge. Be playful, be unpredictable. But do SOMETHING other than what you have been.
As a famous man once said, you keep doing what you've been doing, you'll keep getting what you've been getting.
Now, if you want to get something different, you should get the Secrets.
alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men
posted by Carlos Xuma at 12:25 PM 
- ATOM
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