Saturday, November 18, 2006

Keep women friends, or dump them?

Hi Carlos - Got this ladyfriend at work who says she only sees me as platonic but who I would love to get a more deeper level of attraction with. To complicate things she says she doesn't really like to talking to guys cause they're always hitting on her but somehow I'm different.

Now I do try the cocky funny routines and will mix it up with some sexy suggestives. But she does phone me out of work to off-load her personal problems and complaints as I offer a supporting shoulder.

To cut a long story short I liker her as a friend. But should I dump her as a friend if I can't get the sexual tension between us going?

Bobby UK

PS: I am just GREAT at making lady friends. But not very good at taking it further!
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CARLOS:

Congratulations.

You're her Nice Guy.

You spend time on the phone with her and talk about her feelings and all that stuff...

But inevitably, even when you tell me that you're mixing in some teasing and cocky material, you're probably not doing it to the level that engages her emotions. My guess is that you're "dabbling" with it, but not committing to using the strategy because you're very attached to your old wuss ways.

I know this because of what you said at the end, that you're great at making lady friends instead of lovers. Women like you because you're like a girlfriend with a gender identity problem. They can ignore that little physiological gender difference because you have no sexual charge.

REMEMBER: Magnets attract metal because they are polarized - i.e., charged.

You're failing to get any sexual tension going, so women assume you are good to unload on.

You're stuck in your old belief system that if you can somehow be nice enough FOR a woman she'll want you. When, in fact, you must be nice TO a woman by being an Alpha Man.

That's okay, I was once the same way. I had this moral dilemma for so long that using any kind of knowledge to help steer my relationships onto the right track was somehow "wrong" or manipulative. And that it was somehow better for me to fail using no strategies than to succeed using them.

This is the delusion of the idealist.

The reality is that if she says she sees you as "platonic," you lost the game a while back.

Why?

Because you'll just end up spending about 100 times more energy trying to get a woman who has written you off to find you sexually attractive than you will if you just go find a woman to start things off right with from the beginning.

And by focusing on the woman that you are not getting, you are deeply embedding the belief in scarcity in your subconscious mind. You're focusing on the one instead of the many, and as a result you are going to create a harmful fracture in your thinking where you ought to have the most strength.

This fault will be right where your masculine strength should be - your ALPHA MAN POWER.

There's no problem having a few female friends, but when that's ALL you're making, you're doing something wrong, and it needs to be fixed. Those lady friends of yours don't know how to hold an intervention for this kind of problem, trust me. They'll just throw their hands up and walk away before they'll sit you down and explain how it REALLY works.

If you want to turn this around do the following right now:

1) Stop being her shoulder to cry on. That's what her girlfriends are for.

2) Start demonstrating some strong male energy. Tease her. Bust her chops.

3) Get the Secrets of the Alpha Man. It will help you avoid making this kind of mistake EVER again.

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men

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