Congratulations... you did nothing wrong.

Dear Carlos,

I'm taking a class where there happens to be a lady whose always wanted to hook me up with her daughter that is a year older than me (24). We finally hooked up and on the second date I was able to not only kiss her but get her in bed, HER bed.

The next day I woke up early when she was in the shower getting ready for a doctor's appointment. Not to intrude on her time, I woke up and did her bed and left. She caught me at the door. I said I had to leave because something came up and hugged her and bounced.

The next day, I wrote her an e-mail telling her how much fun I had and that we should do it again. Her reply was that my "ops" were "covert" and what I did was "uncouth". I explained that I was trying to not intrude on her time. But, I haven't heard from her since.

Where did I go wrong, and what is necessary to do in order to save what's left and work on it, IF anything there actually is something left.

______________________
CARLOS:

I'm not sure what that whole comment about covert ops and being uncouth was about, but here's the plain truth: You got everything she wanted to give you.

Congratulations, you did nothing wrong.

In her book, you two had a fun time and that's all she wanted. She's not looking for romance and a long term relationship in this. If she tries to shift any of the blame to you, it's in an attempt to maintain her self-image as a "nice girl." A "good girl" who "never does this sort of thing."

Now you're turning into a stage 3 clinger. Meaning, the more you try and make something out of what she considers a fun time, the more hopeless and desperate you appear.

The reality is that if you have the right attitude, quick sex isn't what you're trying to get. ESPECIALLY if you had any hopes to continue seeing her. Women often divide their dating into two areas: the fun and get freaky guys, and the stable "boyfriend" guys.

By being so darn good with my dating strategies, you managed to build attraction with a woman and have a hot night of fun.

What will happen next is that you'll either move on, or you'll start to stalk her because you feel a false sense of challenge.

I hope you'll make the right choice...

And it's probably time you learned how to make the right choice on this, too.

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