Questions to Ignore

Carlos,
 
Man I know that someone has asked you this before, but for a refresher I was wondering when and what questions are good to dodge from women.
 
I was good enough to meet her and get her number, then once we started talking on the phone I felt as I was getting the third degree. For the most part I don't offer to much information at all.
 
She asked me where I worked work, my age, my middle name???, and the normal stuff you would expect when you get to know someone.
 
But I felt a few RED flags were raised on a few of the simple questions. Like where I work. I basically let her pull the information out of me. She asked me I told her the City, She asked again I told her the company, She asked again I told her the department and then I moved on to me asking her what she did. I don't think that I messed up too bad since she has called me again.
 
But, why should I have to apply and interview when I already have a job. I do realize that people in general place value on material things and that drives me crazy that I have to be something that I am not in order to win over a woman. I would like to turn the tables and put them on the spot.
 
My question is really how?
 
- Tony
Washington, DC.

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CARLOS:

Tony, I would love to give you a clear-cut, black-and-white answer for this, but...

Knowing what to answer when you approach women and she asks you a question is really more a matter of my question:

"Why is she getting the control of the conversation?"

That's what questions are, by the way. Sometimes an interest indicator (I emphasize SOMETIMES), and sometimes a tool of keeping you on the defense, but the reality is that the one who is asking the questions controls the conversation.

You don't need to worry about ducking the questions if you're the one asking them.

And you don't have to worry about them if you're the one answering them and you feel confident asking them.

Natural conversation (something that is almost impossible to have in most bar and club situations) mandates that it should flow nicely, back and forth. Like waves on a pier.

But it so rarely does. Instead, it does tend to become a struggle for control.

The question is also not what questions to avoid, but can you just sit there and not answer her, confidently?

The question is: WHY do you feel you must answer?

And your best defense is, how do you answer without answering?

Why not ask her: "Wow, you sure are curious. Is this a test? How am I doing? I sure would hate not to pass this one." (With an air of delicate sarcasm.) "Don't worry, Suzie. There's no need to rush. I'll probably live in this city for at least another year or so." Smile.

Always go into a conversation with the knowledge that YOU control it, and YOU can walk away at any time, and anything she says can NEVER challenge your worth or sense of power.

Learn more about conversational control when you Approach Women

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