Who else...?

QUESTION:

Hey, i've ran into this awkward problem with getting dates. A lot of the time the girl wants to know "who else is coming" when I set up a date. I think I make it pretty clear when I ask her that its a date, not a social hang out. But they feel the need to ask anyway.

What's a good way to respond to this in a non-wussy way which gets my point across????

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CARLOS:

If a woman is asking this question, she is obviously not getting the point that it's not a "get together." And if you are explaining it as a "date," there's a problem right there. First, you shouldn't have to explain it. Second, it should never have the appearance of a 'date.'

The problem is never at the problem. Meaning, the problem happened way before you got to the point of her asking who else is coming along.

Here are a few of the areas that need to be addressed:

1) Not enough attraction is being built with her.

2) Not enough trust/rapport is being built with her.

3) You're not taking the lead. You're getting into 'answering her questions' mode.


The first two are more than I can cover with you in this email. You need to read "The Dating Black Book" to learn the answers. Get it HERE

As for #3, you should be asking her questions right back:

"What do you mean 'who else is coming.' What do you mean?"

You need to find out why she's asking this. ESPECIALLY if it happens over and over.

Once you've found out why, fix it. And then ask her, "Why do you need someone else to come along? Are you afraid you won't be able to control yourself...?"

But #3 won't work for you until you find out where you're making an error in judgment about the whole "date" thing. Why not use the time you're with her to move things forward instead?

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men