HOW TO HANDLE JEALOUSY:

First of all let me say that I love your audio programs. I have the whole of year 1 of your audio coaching series and subscribe to your monthly programs, as well as the podcasts.

The good news is that, after a couple of months of reading the Dating Black Book and listening to your programs, I have been dating a girl for around 3 months now after almost a year of nothing! I tried online dating on your suggestion and met a great girl, which I fully didn't expect from online dating!

There is only one thing that is kinda getting to me just now, and its something I'd love your opinion on...

Basically, this girl is 25 and has just started a new university course (you already know whats coming right!?). I always ask her how its giong and she tells me all about it. As part of her course, she is put in a small group of fellow students to complete tasks and such.

Anyway, she used to always talk about this guy that was so irritating...really annoying and pompous, and how she was so unlucky to have this guy in her little group. But, lately, she has been going on about how surprised she is that he has turned out to be "a really cool and funny guy". They text each other a lot and meet (of course with other people from the group) for lunches and drinks and things, but the topic of conversation always seems to end up focussing on this guy.

Of course she is openly telling me all of this so maybe I'm being paranoid. But the reason that its worrying me is that I know that women like to be frustrated when with guys as it increases their interest etc etc, and I'm always hearing that this guy is really pompous etc etc but he is also a really cool guy?

Should I be worried? I've totally played it cool up until now and made absolutely nothing of it, but I cant help feeling a liitle worried, especially as its something out of my control (I can't be there to see how things are going).

Should I just keep letting it go or should I try to find out more about the guy? There is absolutely nothing else to suggest that she may be losing interest in me, on the contrary... She always does little things to let me know that she is thinking of me.

Your opinion would be greatly appreciated!

P
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CARLOS:


First off, great job on using the material! Yes, it really does work, doesn't it?

Now, hmmm....

I wondered how best to put this to you.

Let's say it like this:

There is NEVER a reason to be worried.

EVER.

Because there are more like her where she came from, and more like her after she's gone. So don't EVER feel "worried."

Being worried implies that you fear loss.

Fearing loss means that you will act from a place that is not based in your own self-esteem, but where she might "leave you..." and you can only sit around writing bad Country songs all day about your broken heart.

You should, however, be very concerned. Her mentioning this guy this much means there are definite feelings of attraction toward him. Women don't mention guys they are not interested in in some way. It just don't work like that, dude.

Now, what is your reaction to that?

Did you just gasp?

Feel a little tug of panic in your gut?

Or did you think, Huh. How about that. Time to get busy.


You see, the best way to make sure she's yours is to ensure that she is STILL CHASING YOU.
A woman will not actively pursue more than one man in her life. The same is applicable to men. We can only have one Primary focus of attention to aim our hopes and affections at.

Which means that you can keep her if you do the following...


1) First, keep challenging her on a daily basis. Keep busting her balls, teasing her, and driving up her sexual tension for you. Keep doing the occasional romantic event. Keep doing what you did to get her. Don't get lazy.

You better get ready for this next one, because it will be the toughest advice you ever follow:

2) Push her towards HIM.

That's right. You heard me.

Push her to him.

"Yeah, maybe you should consider dating this guy. He sounds like a good match for you." Say this seriously. Yawn, return to reading Maxim looking TOTALLY unconcerned.

And you say that so emotionlessly that she will KNOW it is not coming from jealousy.

Only a man who is ROCK solid secure in his own confidence can do this, and she'll know it.

There are only two outcomes after this push:

OPTION 1) She'll go for him. Unlikely. If she does, good riddance, she was never into you to begin with. She's probably an attention-hound that just chases the next shiny thing she sees. If she can't appreciate you, she's better off GONE.

OPTION 2) She'll be more attracted to YOU. Which she will if she fears losing you.

Only by showing that you can walk away at any time can you really demonstrate the mature independent sense of confidence that an ALPHA man possesses.

Be warned! If you try this and come across as whiney and sulking and pouting like a bratty boy when you say something like: "Yeah, I think you should start seeing this guy. He's your type..."

She'll see right through it, and it will backfire because you'll seem clingy and needy and jealous. You'll be driving her to him.

Jealous = BAD.

This guy's "arrogant" attitude is the right mix to attract women. She may just be playing out a little fantasy with her thoughts and her attraction, but let's be clear about this - There ARE thoughts for him floating through her head. She's picking up on his Alpha vibe.

Stay un-jealous. DO NOT take any direct action about this guy, like forbidding her to message him or checking her phone for messages, because acting from anything but a sincere feeling of confidence would kill her attraction for you and drive her towards him.

And if it comes down to it, and she continues to show these indications of interest in him and less in you, you're going to have to be the first one to say: "You know, I think we should start seeing other people. I feel like we may be tying each other down." Don't make it about the new guy, but make it clear that if she's going to entertain thoughts of other men, you're going to go get busy on your own.

There's a saying: "You don't know what you got 'til it's gone..." And you may have to teach her very soon what that is.

This is the ULTIMATE statement of your confidence to her. And if the time comes, you better mean it, too. You must be the one to strike first if you're going to salvage your self-esteem and self-respect. Don't wait around for her to crash your new lifestyle and attitude by turning you into a bitter cautionary tale, okay?

Here's another idea: Get her to invite him to drinks with you two. Watch her reaction. See what she says and does. You should meet him somehow. I totally dig on these situations because I can fully demonstrate how dominant my reality is compared to these losers. Be the cooler Alpha Man and you'll have no problem showing her who she should be chasing.


PS: The reason she's doing those "little things" for you could also be out of GUILT for her new feelings of attraction for this guy. She doesn't want to leave, but if she's given a reason...

Sorry, dude, it's probably not what you want to hear, but if you start watching the situation and steering it now, you can salvage this thing.

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