HOW TO LISTEN TO WOMEN:

Hi Carlos,

I'm just wondering what does a woman means when she said: 'You don't understand me...' after a conflict. Is it a test? Is it something that we can ignore? Or do we deflect the response in a funny way?
-------

CARLOS:

No, this one pretty much means what she says.

She doesn't FEEL understood.

When a woman is ranting about whatever is bothering her, the most common response a guys has is to get all logical and prove why he's right. In a lot of cases he IS right, but that does NOTHING to soothe her.

That's the worst thing in the world to do.

The best thing you can do (and it's also the MOST difficult for 99% of the guys out there) is to shut up and just hear her out. Let her talk it out of her system.

Instead, we get all analytical and rational, which only fuels her fire when she just needs to get some things off her chest.

Er, so to speak.

Next time, LISTEN to her, and I'll bet you dollars to donuts that she never says she feels like you don't understand her.

Never get into the conflict in the first place. An argument with a woman is a no-win situation. What you have to do is learn how to handle it with reflexive listening skills and reframing.

The premise of an argument or conflict is that if one or the other proves their case enough, the other will just realize how wrong they are and back down.

HA! Remember the last time this ever happened to you?

I'll give you a clue, it might happen with a man, but unlikely with a woman. Even if you seem to win the logic on the surface, she'll be stewing up some negative feelings for you if you don't hear her out.

alpha man | how to talk to women | approach women | dating advice for men