Carlos gives you the straight Truth...

  NEWSLETTER September 6, 2006

Dating Advice for Men: The Dating Truth

Curing Your Confusion ... With No Delusion.

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QUESTION:

Carlos,

Your advice has been right on in the past. I am feeling a little pressure at the moment because my girlfriend is displaying some control tactics.

I know that if I just call her on her behaviors that this would slow down because I am aware that she is reaching out for boundaries and testing to see if I am an Alpha. Last night I feel that she got away with TOO MUCH. I won't be seeing her for a couple of days and I didn't want this to slide too long. My thoughts are to send the following letter pieced together from some of your newsletters. Any advice?

Jenny,

I almost called last night to chat about your chronic control freak thing and that you really are skating on thin ice with that one. Well, maybe a young thing or a rich older woman would hit the spot. Anyways, I think the PRINCESS ;) thinks that I am full of it. Maybe she IS testing me...

OK, why don't we hook up in Vegas and get married, this way we'll know each other well enough for you to want to stop playing control games and relax.

Or, we could just keep enjoying ourselves with enthralling pleasures as you realize that dating doesn't have to be about power plays - but instead just having fun.

I personally like the Vegas idea..."

- S

CARLOS ANSWERS:

This letter is too much.... It sounds like you’re taking her way too seriously.

It also sounds like a "try-hard." That's the guy that's TRYING to use a technique, but it comes off sounding too calculated and incongruent.

Sometimes the best thing you can do is to ignore her completely. When she plays her tactics, sometimes the best thing is to NOT try and put her in her place.

The key to this situation and handling it effectively is to NOT deal with it AFTER the fact. If she got away with too much before, you’re now in the danger zone. The reason you’re in this situation is because you didn’t nip this in the bud.

(continued ... )

Instead of stomping your feet, just ignore her next call or two. Let her know that you’re still the prize, and she needs to work to keep you.

And consider that if she’s a control freak, or needs to test you too much, you’re in a high maintenance relationship.

Not good.

Consider the cost while you’re at it...

But if you MUST set things straight, do it in person. Don't send an email. This will set off her "chickenshit" radar. It will come across as weak and incongruous.

A R.E.A.L. Alpha would just sit her down and set things straight. No anger. No ranting. Just a clear statement that this is unacceptable behavior.

I suggest you get the BIG picture of the Alpha Man attitude here:
Alpha Immersion Program

First I'll start by congratulating you for your work. Your analysis of dating dynamics is truly right.

Your paper allowed me to understand what I was doing right and what had to be improved...and it works.

Recently I met a girl who is really very sweet to me.

The problem is she already has two kids from two different dads and she's giving the impression to fall for me after she's left her latest boyfriend 60 days ago. She's 25 and stayed 5 years with her last boyfriend with whom she had that last kid. She's telling me that her boyfriend told her to move on and find somebody else and she's suspecting him to have a new girlfriend for who she seems jealous about (without openly mentioning it to me of course).

The thing is she's really playing it sweet with me so I can't tell if she's just looking for a replacement, if she's trying to make him jealous or if she really likes me. She comes from a wealthy family and has a job with relatively high responsibilities so I don't think she's got any particular social behaviour problems.

I like being with her because she doesn't live far from my place she's very sweet to me n shows it by taking good care of me. Is she not playing a dangerous game with her last boyfriend, isn't it a little too soon to begin a new relationship right after a long intense one. She just moved in the neighbourhood so maybe she is just looking for some sort of security whatsoever.

What's ur opinion, thx

F from Belgium.

CARLOS ANSWERS:

I see some red flags here, and I hope you do, too.

This woman has had 2 children from 2 different fathers with no apparent desire to get into a long-term relationship. She also seems to either have a highly elevated need to mother, or she's just unaware of this thing we call BIRTH CONTROL.

Hey, I'm not judging her, but let's call 'em like we see 'em, shall we? When you add this red flag to the next one, you've got a scary situation.

(continued ... )

Her need to get into another relationship sounds like classic REBOUND behavior. She doesn't have the self-esteem to be alone, so she jumps from relationship to relationship to keep her insecurity at bay.

Look, some of the advisors out there are too weak to say this sort of thing, but I'm going to tell you what I think: Don't date her.

Find someone without all this baggage.

And please don't make your relationship choices based on proximity and opportunity. That shows me you're just taking what you can get.

Instead, CHOOSE the woman you want.

Don't date by default, guys. That's scarcity thinking.

The ALPHA MAN makes his opportunities.

Do you want to start learning how to dramatically improve your self-confidence with real, time-proven methods?

Are you ready to drop that lame "Nice Guy" routine and start showing her a real Alpha Man?

And if you'd like to learn more about R.E.A.L. Game (TM) and the successful attitudes of an Alpha Man, you should take a look at the program that will put you on the path - The Secrets of the Alpha Man. This is the ORIGINAL Alpha Man program that gives you the REAL Game with women.

Just remember: Every man is self-made, but only the SUCCESSFUL admit it.

"Since I started reading and listening to the [Secrets of the Alpha Man] CD's my way of thinking has expanded without me really knowing what was happening in the meantime. I have started my own buisness, became health conscious, stopped smoking, and developed a sense of humor that can make just about anyone laugh...

"I have a lot more success with women and the woman I'm dating now is at least five times better than the one that got away from me in the first place. I also enjoy going out without her and working on my skills; approaching and jacking up sexual tension. Nothing feels better than walking up to a hot women and her smacking you on the arm within five minutes of the conversation.

"Thank You Carlos, your program has a way of picking men up at their lowest points in their life and quikly guiding them to the top and beyond. From now on I will always push myself further [toward] what I consider success."

- Brett B.

For More Dating and Attraction Secrets...

SECRETS OF THE ALPHA MAN - This e-book and CD coaching covers your inner game, from meeting women, to cultivating complete confidence, to life and success strategies, to understanding what the winners and Alpha Men in life have that you can have, too.

Looking for a better lifestyle and inner confidence, as well as more women? This book shows you a map to a more successful LIFE.

Put this link in your browser to see all the great stuff in this set (you may have to put www. in front of it): alphaseduction.com

And if you've already got this program, move on to the advanced Alpha Man Immersion program HERE: Alpha Immersion Program

APPROACH WOMEN NOW: You'll learn more about conversational control and how to talk to women in my Approach Women NOW program. I cover all the ins and outs of how to talk to women, what to say to get women attracted to you, and feeling like YOU are in control for once.

The 4-CD program is packed with exercises to get you confident and capable when you talk to women. No more uncomfortable silences. You'll be able to keep the conversation going for as long as you want to.

ADVANCED AUDIO COACHING - And if you're like most guys that love to hear advice and audible examples of things to learn by, and you want new and fresh tips every single month, The Audio Coaching Series is something for you to get.

Each month we go into loads of detail about every aspect of dating and seduction. From what to say to what to wear, to what to cook, to what to do when it's time to close the deal. Every session is over 100 minutes of top-quality digital audio that you can download and listen to right away. No waiting for a CD to ship!

We've been going strong with this series for over THREE YEARS now.

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This is a STEAL, and it's a HUGE value. Over 100 minutes - every month!

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Advanced Audio Coaching and Dating Advice for Men

Is there ANYTHING More Important Than Learning the Secrets of How to Attract Women?

Time is running short for all of us, no matter how young or old you are. Don't waste precious years of your life learning by trial and error (and perhaps not learning at all).

Get the information on how to improve your dating life TODAY. Make the changes you need to make to get the love, se-x, and relationships that you want and DESERVE to have.

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All my experience ... my heart and soul is in these e-books and audio programs. I just know you'll enjoy them.

I'll be back with more advice soon ...This is the year for you to get busy and get successful with women!

- Carlos Xuma

If you want to hear what everyone has to say about these books, go to the site and read the reviews. And download them now to see why more men get success with Carlos Xuma's advice and strategies ...

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