NEWSLETTER September 19, 2006

Curing Your Confusion ... With No Delusion.

To make sure you continue to receive Carlos' dating advice in your inbox (and that it is not sent to bulk or junk folders), please add advice @datingdynamics.com and admin @datingdynamics.com to your address book.

QUESTION:

Hi carlos,
  
I have a question, i have been going out with this girl for about 6 months until i found out via a very good friend of mine telling me that he saw her with some other guy holding hands etc.
  
Of course this pissed me off, but i kept my cool, and sent her a message saying " I think we should just be friends., she replied " i assumed we were friends"  My response was " cool, I'm glad we see eye to eye" and haven't spoken to her for a week now.
  
Do you think that I got the upper hand in the breakup? ( 4 days before this she said that she was disappointed she didn't see me on the weekend, and that she wanted to see me, so she couldn't have just assumed we were friends )
  
I believe she is going to be at my sisters wedding next week and she is going to bring her NEW boyfriend with her, What should i do?
  
Must i confront the boyfriend, or her or just ignore her totally, which would work best to piss her off ( i would just like to show her what a big mistake she has done )
  
I await your marvelous advice.
  
D

CARLOS ANSWERS:

It's funny how she answered. That's a classic "Don't blame me" response.

What she was saying was that she thought you two were at least friends. She wanted to answer with as little chance of being the 'guilty' one as possible. She was testing you with her text message.

She's a smart one. She managed to get you to let her off the hook, and now you feel the "Hey! What happened?"

Let's be clear...

First of all, there is no such thing as getting the "upper hand."

What do you expect would happen when you got this "upper hand"? There would be a choir of angels singing to you?

She'd see the error of her ways and jump back into your arms? All your pain will instantly disappear?

Wanting to "defeat" her or prove something like this is actually more of a problem for you than you probably realize. It shows that you're reacting from pain and scarcity thinking.

'Upper hand' is all in your mind, my friend. One perception vs. another.

So why do you need to "piss her off"?

I'll tell you why you feel this need: You're still angry at her, and you want some kind of revenge for her hurting you.

Plain and simple.

And it's completely understandable.

(continued ... )

What you cannot do is let this anger take over your world-view and think that you'll actually gain self-respect or Alpha Power from "proving" something to this girl. You'll just end up making yourself look pitiful in her eyes the harder you try to orchestrate your 'revenge.'

Anger leads to the dark side, dude. Didn't you watch the "Star Wars" movies?

What you should do is to LET GO of your anger right now. You're hurt and slighted, and what you do next will serve to either reinforce or destroy your healthy Alpha Man frame.

Instead of working to make someone else feel a certain way (which is scarcity thinking - you should have lined up ten replacements by now), why not work to make yourself get over you anger and fear of your own inadequacy?

Isn't that a little more constructive?

Yes, right now there's a battle going on in your mind. One side will be the victor. Only you can choose which side will win.

The Alpha side, the side that knows that you are going to move on to happier hunting grounds, and that this woman obviously wasn't honorable enough for you. Good riddance to bad news, I say.

Or the Beta ("dark") side that knows that it's just twisted anger and fear that makes us need to hurt someone because they've hurt us.

You choose.

And I also recommend you learn how to be the Alpha Man women want by getting my Secrets right now...

It Works All Over the World...

"Carlos … I dont usually write testimonials anywhere, but this is the time I HAVE TO make exception ...

"I have studied pick up and dating stuff almost 3 years ... I´ve spend lot of money on the subject and I know what is available in market ... and when I run through your DVDs I was really surprised how much I got from it. You really hit to the details and I love it!

"Your DVDs really give A LOT of practical and useful information and I got lot of missing pieces back to my game from this program... I can really proudly recommend because it´s gonna take your success further than any other single dating program on the market! ... Trust me."
 
- J. from Scandinavia
Sept. 17, 2006

Hey Carlos,
  
Everyone makes these techniques/attitude sound like magic and like a science that they always work and stuff.

Now my question is aren't there some girls where this stuff just wont work on?

I mean I have been in situations where I felt I executed pretty well and the girl just doesn't seem to be gaining the attraction or doesn't respond to it like the other girls that I've achieved success with creating attraction. I know that techniques aren't what really create the attraction and that its the underlying CONFIDENCE, but doesn't this idea apply to confidence also?

I mean aren't there some girls where even demonstrating your alpha confidence and being your confident self wont work?

CARLOS ANSWERS:

Yes, there are some girls that Alpha Confidence will not work on.

And my question is: Why would you want them?

Because my answer is: These are the women you must AVOID.

Like the plague!

I hear what you're saying underneath your words, though.

You really just want to know if there's a sure-fire technique that gets them ALL. No chance of rejection.

And it doesn't exist my friend.

(continued ... )

No matter what all the "Gurus" out there tell you, there is no sure-fire, knock-em-dead, 100% absolute technique or situation where you get them all.

There will be some nutty chick who thinks you look like her brother who once molested a goat.

There will be a woman who has made up some inflexible rule about dating guys with curly hair.

Or straight hair. Or something lame-ass like that.

There will always be someone who won't respond to GOOD, healthy Alpha Male behavior the way you want her to.

But the question should never be "how do I get that one." (Yet, inevitably, most guys start asking how to get the one that resists.) The question is how to AVOID her.

Because she's probably a little cRaZy.

Ask yourself why, in the name of all that is good in this world, would you want a woman that IS NOT attracted to a strong Alpha Man -  a man who is confident in himself, and going somewhere in life?

And then ask yourself why that might be...

QUESTION:

Carlos, I need your HELP bad right now.
 
I am seeing several women right now, and I feel like I can't date just one exclusively. I have stated this to one of them and she has caught feelings and does not want to continue this if I am not going to be exclusive and stop sleeping with other women.

HOW does one get around this without being dishonest and becoming a cheater? I really like this girl, but I honestly don't feel like I can give up these other women.

I think you know what I am going through here and I'm sure you have mastered the game for how to handle this type of situation.

CARLOS ANSWERS:

First of all, everyone shed a tear for this guy that has too many women.

Sniff... sniff...

(*Note: it really is true that 10% of the guys get about 90% of the quality women out there.)

Well, I hate to tell you this, but more often than not, a woman will want your EXCLUSIVE attention. Otherwise she feels like a "girl on the side" - or a "slut" - and will not want to participate.

Sometimes it comes down to re-framing the situation for her, but most times it is a matter of your own personal power and posture, as well as your congruity and beliefs.

What does all that dime-store psychology mean?

Simple.

You must first reconcile your values and your honor. Do you find it acceptable to be deceptive to these women? To be un-truthful and feel dishonest?

Then your only path is to be straight and clear with them:

"Look, I really love spending time with you. I think you're fantastic, and I'd like to see where this will go. I just don't want to rush things. And I hope you don't either. I'm sure you've done that in the past and regretted it, like I did.  I'd just like us to keep our options open for now while we see what might happen. If it's meant to be, we'll be together. Now let's go have some fun."

And if she is still hung up on this, you may have to consider losing her.

What?

Is Carlos suggesting that monogamy is BAD???

What I'm saying is that any belief that is black-&-white is immediately suspicious to me.

Monogamy is GREAT - in the right situation. However, at the start of a relationship that you have not tested and experienced completely, it could cause much more harm than good.

Remember that most people get into a long term relationship out of FEAR.

They're afraid of being alone, and they are also afraid of not being in a relationship. (Which feels like the same thing, even though they're not.)

Just keep in mind that you are taking risks with anyone out there, so safe sexual practices are ALWAYS required.

Now how do you communicate the right personality so that women will understand they are lucky to have YOU?

ACT.

Seize fortune by the balls and SQUEEZE like you mean it.

Here's a way to live like an Alpha Man - with POWER.
http://www.AttractWomenProgram.com

Do you want to start learning how to dramatically improve your self-confidence with real, time-proven methods?

Are you ready to drop that lame "Nice Guy" routine and start showing her a real Alpha Man?

And if you'd like to learn more about R.E.A.L. Game (TM) and the successful attitudes of an Alpha Man, you should take a look at the program that will put you on the path - The Secrets of the Alpha Man. This is the ORIGINAL Alpha Man program that gives you the REAL Game with women.

Just remember: Every man is self-made, but only the SUCCESSFUL admit it.

For More Dating and Attraction Secrets...

SECRETS OF THE ALPHA MAN - This e-book and CD coaching covers your inner game, from meeting women, to cultivating complete confidence, to life and success strategies, to understanding what the winners and Alpha Men in life have that you can have, too.

Looking for a better lifestyle and inner confidence, as well as more women? This book shows you a map to a more successful LIFE.

Click here to see all the great stuff in this set: Secrets of the Alpha Man

And if you've already got this program, move on to the advanced Alpha Man Immersion program

APPROACH WOMEN NOW: You'll learn more about conversational control and how to talk to women in my Approach Women NOW program. I cover all the ins and outs of how to talk to women, what to say to get women attracted to you, and feeling like YOU are in control for once.

The 4-CD program is packed with exercises to get you confident and capable when you talk to women. No more uncomfortable silences. You'll be able to keep the conversation going for as long as you want to.

Click here to learn more: Approach Women Program

ADVANCED COACHING - And if you're like most guys that love to hear advice and audible examples of things to learn by, and you want new and fresh tips every single month, The Audio Coaching Series is something for you to get.

Remember that in order to improve your dating skills, you need REGULAR advice and motivation - just like all high-performing athletes. If you only "read a book" or listen to CDs once, you will get better, but not like you will with Carlos Xuma's Advanced Coaching. Every month he will show you what to do, and when to do it.

Each month I go into loads of detail about every aspect of dating and seduction. From what to say to what to wear, to what to cook, to what to do when it's time to close the deal. Every session is over 110 minutes of top-quality digital audio that you can download and listen to right away. No waiting for a CD to ship!

I'm not in my FOURTH YEAR of offering this program, and it keeps getting better and better.

This is a STEAL, and it's a HUGE value. Over 110 minutes - every month!

It's the best value out there for ongoing advice and information - and it now includes VIDEO to help you with concepts that you must see to believe...

Click here right now to check it out: Advanced Coaching and Dating Advice for Men

Is there ANYTHING More Important Than Learning the Secrets of How to Attract Women?

Time is running short for all of us, no matter how young or old you are.

Don't waste precious years of your life learning by trial and error (and perhaps not learning at all).

Get the information on how to improve your dating life TODAY. Make the changes you need to make to get the love, sex, and relationships that you want and DESERVE to have.

If you've ever found yourself saying, "I don't understand women!" then my e-books will finally give you the knowledge you need to finally understand. I'm telling you, it's like getting a book that describes how a certain magic trick is done that has fascinated you for years.

All my experience ... my heart and soul is in these e-books and audio programs. I just know you'll enjoy them.

I'll be back with more advice soon ...This is the year for you to get busy and get successful with women!

- Carlos Xuma

If you want to hear what everyone has to say about these books, go to the site and read the reviews. And then download them now to see why more men get success with Carlos Xuma's advice and strategies ...

If you want to email Carlos a question, send it only with THIS EMAIL FORM.

Send this page to someone who can use the information. Help spread the word!

(C) 2003-2006 DD Publications, Morpheus Productions, LLC, All Rights Reserved.

dating black book | audio coaching | approach women | affiliates | catalog | reviews | email carlos xuma | blog | support

DATING ADVICE - 1
DATING ADVICE - 2
DATING ADVICE - 3
DATING ADVICE - 4
DATING ADVICE - 5
DATING TIPS

PRIVACY POLICY