CARLOS XUMA'S NEWSLETTER:
"She holds my hand ... and cuddles ... but we've never kissed?!?!"
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Carlos Xuma and the TRUTH About Dating and
Attraction...
Because every
man is self-made, but only the SUCCESSFUL admit it.
QUESTION: She's
upsetting him
...
Carlos,
... I have been hanging out with this girl for about three
weeks now, I have taken her out to the movies once and cooked her and her
friends dinner at my house once, the rest of the time I usually just hang
out with her at our mutual friends work.
She did something that really upset me last night
and I wanted to ask if I handled it right. I meet her at our friends work
and our friend invited me to hang out with them at her aunt’s house.
Well, first I got lost on the way there and I asked the girl I am seeing
to meet me at a near by store and I will follow her but she told me to call
our friend, her friend had to meet me at a store and I followed her. (that
upset me)
Then once we got to my friend’s aunt’s house the girl I am seeing
completely ignores me. She spent the whole time on the phone with her friend
and on the computer. I played two games of pool with my friend’s brother
and then left without saying goodbye to the girl I am seeing (Carlos that
really pissed me off).
Well the girl I am seeing called me a couple hours
later and I told her that she had disrespected me and that I am not a kid
anymore. I told her if she doesn’t’ want anything to do with me then tell me now! I told
her I don’t date women that disrespect me and that is the first and
last time that will happen. She said sorry and blah blah blah.
Please tell me what you think. I have a very open
mind. Also she refuses to kiss me on the lips, but will cuddle with me and
hold my hand and stuff. Really strange, it’s a challenge!
CARLOS XUMA'S ADVICE:
I really don't like to give bad news, but it's better
that I correct your situation now than let this go on any longer. Since you
JUST got my books, you are just beginning this process, and I need to clarify
a few details.
Well, this is going to be a tough pill to swallow, but since you've already
gotten on the path to redemption through my programs, I know you'll be able
to take it.
First of all, this is a situation that a lot of
guys get into. I call it the "wishful thinking" situation.
You think you're seeing her, but she's not really "seeing" you
at all. She's keeping you around as a trophy guy that can pump up her value
by making her look desirable. You're only going to be in
her life as long as it takes for her to find the next guy she really wants.
She's playing you.
If a woman is into you, she will not refuse to kiss you or give you more
affection. And DEFINITELY will not disrespect you by ignoring you.
Don't be confused by the APPEARANCE that she's giving off. Holding hands
and cuddling? She can do that with ANYONE. The only true gauge of success
with a woman is how much of her heart and soul is she willing to surrender
to you. (No, it's not even sex, really. That's just incidental.)
Now the problem happened here because you did not handle this IMMEDIATELY when the situation required attention and management.
You see, it's up to YOU as the man to make sure that she does not push you
or test your boundaries this way. However, there is a RIGHT and a WRONG way
to handle the situation when it comes up.
Continued ...
Are you READY?
Alpha Man Conversation & Persuasion is
coming soon...!
CLICK HERE FOR MORE INFO...
At the first indication that she was playing around with you like this, you
need to (playfully) bust her chops on it, and then make it clear that you
are not going to sit there and accept it. By staying there all that time with
her playing with her friend and you playing pool, you were telling her implicitly
that it's okay to treat you like this.
The next big mistake is the amount of times you're
talking about being "upset."
My
friend, women do not have the power to upset you. Only YOU can
make you upset. This is an emotional reality that not a lot of guys are willing
to admit. The reality is that your emotions are COMPLETELY under
your control.
You were "upset" because you REACTED to
her behavior rather than managing it.
You could stay and play pool and be cool, but you would have to GENUINELY be there for your own fun.
I can BET that you did very little to cover up this "upset" you
were experiencing.
And she saw it in your behavior. And then she knew she
could emotionally
control you as a result.
Really, everything that you experienced could have been avoided WAY back
at the start.
When?
CLICK
HERE TO FIND OUT MORE ...
As soon as you became a "tag along" with her friend to see her.
That appears as if you had nothing better to do. And all your talk about "hanging
out" with her makes me think that you're not being aggressive enough
to make this go forward.
Look, the reality is that she needs to either demonstrate that she's a woman
that you can count on to be a loving and caring addition to your life, or
...
NEXT!
There is no "hanging around" with women.
You need to be showing them an exciting new reality, one that you control,
and one that you can bring into her reality by the power of your presence.
You're demonstrating "provider" traits right now, and not enough "attraction" traits.
Seriously, dates are for chumps. Take her out to have FUN. Not go see a movie.
That just shows a lack of creativity.
You sit for 2 hours in the dark and that's supposed to be romantic? I never
understood that.
I don't DATE.
I CREATE.
I create meaningful, fun experiences for women to enjoy with me. And that's
why they keep coming back for more.
1. Dump her.
It's the best thing for your attitude right now. Really.
It will put you back in a place where you feel some control again.
Besides, she's just not into you. The only way to inspire her interest is
to move on and give her a reason to want you again. Only by being out of her
grasp again will she remember what it's like to desire you.
2. Start expanding your social circle.
You must make your social life more reliable so that you don't feel like
you need to fall into someone else's plans. It's fine if you do, after all,
hanging with the people you like and have fun with is what life is all about.
HOWEVER, by creating your own social situations, you'll be much more in control
and confident, AND you'll be opening yourself to many new alternatives with
women. You'll find that you have OPTIONS - which is one of the most important
things in a man's life.
3. Be more definite about what it is you want in life right now.
Even when it comes to small things like your free
time. Don't accept just "hanging
out" unless it's on YOUR terms. The way YOU want it.
Don't be one of the guys out there that just falls into everyone else's plans,
and then wonders why women aren't attracted to that directionless attitude.
Women are attracted to the leader.
The Alpha Man.
Look, the reality is that True success with
women requires a firm
sense of direction in life, and self-confidence.
But you hear that all the time, don't you?
"Just be confident."
You'll hear that nugget of advice from a lot of
guys out there, but the difference is that they'll say "be confident," and
not give you ONE single method of actually improving
your confidence.
That's where I will help you.
I spent years trying out various self-help programs, studying my own inner
psychology (and inner wuss, too.) I figured out which things make a difference
and will genuinely help you improve your inner game
with women.
When a woman detects that you've got passions and direction in your life
- even if that passion is to improve to be more attractive
to women - then
they'll want to come along for the ride.
I saw it over and over again as I went down this road.
Now, I also mapped this development, and I want you to benefit from my
experience.
There's no reason you should have to take as long as I did to make these changes
to your own life.
For those of you out there reading this right now
that aren't sure how to calibrate to the "Alpha
Man" ideal, I have
something for you that you will find LIFE-CHANGING.
Click here
right now to find out what I'm talking about, or just read on...
A lot of the situations
guys write in about are a bit unclear because many guys delude themselves
as to their real level of success with
women. The reality is that most guys DO
NOT get what they
want from their interactions and relationships with women.
Shitty as that is, there is a cure for the common Lonely
Single Guy.
It's called EDUCATION.
It's the only way to stop being a whipped,
scared, beta guy and get your love life under your control again.
If you could learn secrets to attract
women, would you?
Can you see past
your ego defense mechanisms and embrace the power of the Alpha Man?
When you have enough women and action in your life, you
won't feel like you need to analyze or chase every chick that comes into your
sphere of influence. And that's a good thing. You'll act on it because
you've got a sense
of abundance in your life.
If you'd like to create your plan for making your life what you want, develop
confidence, attract women, accumulate wealth, find happiness...
Click here to read about the Alpha
Man program.
I know there are some guys who won't understand how these concepts go together,
but all success in life is linked together by some common
principles.
If you're not getting what you want from life, you need to make some changes.
Stop putting your destiny off until some other 'convenient'
time...
Discover your inner Alpha
Man now... Click HERE
to learn more...
Listen to what this guy says about his experience
learning the Truth:
"I have purchased your Dating
Black Book and Approach
Women Now cd series. I have to tell you that
after reading the book and listening to the CDs I could help
but feel like the dorkiest man alive. I have let woman control
my emotions and have responded to them instead of them responding
to me. I always came off as a needy unconfident pervert!
"... I have learned to set standards
and not let a woman test me without busting their balls. I hope
that if I keep this up I will eventually find a woman that qualifies
to be in my life. One big thing too, if a woman sees that I have
things going on in my life, the tend to be more interested instead
of the bore I used to be. I have the motivation now to follow
my dreams and if a woman wants to be part of that then so be it,
but have learned not to let a woman pull me off course of where
I want to go and do in my life..."
"Hey carlos, thank
you for the Secrets
of the Alpha Man course. I think I must've listened to the cd's four or five times now !
"The
confidence I've gained in meeting da ladeez at work and socially
has been tremendous. I was never skeptical at your
program, but was interested/concerned
as how I would notice the changes in myself. The clincher was when
several of my closest friends ... pointed out to me that I had confidence
in so many ways!
"Thank you so much
for your hard work for making it easier for the rest of us!"
- Richie from UK
|
Remember what Carlos says:
"NO WOMAN has the self-control to STOP pursuing that
which she TRULY desires..."
Learn more about R.E.A.L.
Game (TM) and the successful attitudes of an Alpha Man: Take a look
at the original program that will put you on the path - Alpha
Immersion. This is the ORIGINAL Alpha
Man program that gives you the REAL Game with women.
Prove it to yourself - If you want to hear all the great
things everyone has to say about these books, go to the site and read the
reviews. And then download them now to see why more men get success with
my advice and strategies ...
CLICK
HERE TO LEARN MORE...
Teddy
Shabba of Dating Advice Coach Reviews The
Dating Black Book:
"Too many books dealing with
meeting and dating women focus on techniques instead of the basic fundamentals
of what actually attracts women to men.
In fact this is the main reason why so many nice
guys have problems actually getting any further than the first few dates
with women and that's if they find the courage to actually use the techniques
on women.
However, Carlos Xuma in his book The
Dating Black Book shows men the basic fundamentals of attracting
and being successful with women.
The
Dating Black Book starts off explaining the importance of actually
improving yourself and building self confidence to attract women.
If you are looking for a sugar coated version of
what it is going to take then this is Not the book for you.
After covering the different aspects of your inner
game as well as how to build your self confidence, Carlos moves on to
actually show you how to find a girlfriend or women for a long-term
relationship.
Many times men have a tendency to get comfortable
with a woman quite early and end up in a relationship they do not want
and do not know how to get out of.
The
Dating Black Book helps you understand what to look for in a good
woman and what to watch out for in a Not so good woman.
To finish off the book, Carlos quickly covers the
basics on sex as well as some additional resources for men to read that
will help improve a man's life in general.
Overall, if you have ever read anything that Carlos
Xuma has written on dating and women then you already know that he has
a lot of very useful information and knowledge to give men, and The
Dating Black Book will help you get even more of that information
and knowledge.
I would highly recommend this book to the majority
if not all Nice Guys or Recovering Nice Guys out there who are struggling
with some of the concepts and techniques that other guys teach.
If you want to just be yourself and attract women
then The
Dating Black Book by Carlos Xuma is for you..."
- Teddy Shabba - Dating Advice
Coach.com
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Did you hear my interview with The Dean?
Get it HERE:
Carlos Xuma's Dating Advice Interview with the Dean
If you want to email Carlos a question,
send it only with THIS
EMAIL FORM.
"The difference between
great people and everyone else is that great people create their lives
actively, while everyone else is created by their lives, passively
waiting to see where life takes them next."
- Michael E. Gerber
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